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Trapped in a loveless marriage and worried about my daughter's future:

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
sindhu Question by sindhu on Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, It's been few months since my question. I am now employed as a school teacher. I am living in the accommodation provided by them. My daughter has access to excellent education. After this shift we are just 2 hours away from both my in-laws and husband. But my husband is not making any effort to keep in touch with her. He indicates through various sources that he is missing her. I have never behaved rudely with him after that incident. I just sacrificed my self-respect for my daughter to have good connection with her dad. But he still acts like a victim. In the process of all this, I lost trust in people, I can't be submissive anymore. I feel so happy and free. My dislike for him is increasing everyday. I really feel that i was mentally abused all this time. I am grateful for the physical abuse as I would have continued to borne through all that . I don't want to with him ever again. Though I don't want to marry again, I want to get divorced and break all other associations with him except as a coparent. I am also worried to negotiate custody issues with such an unreliable unpredictable coparent. I have one year time before I become eligible to start the divorce proceedings. Now my daughter knows something is wrong and tries to bring me and my husband together. She is too young to understand the situation but i don't love her enough to tolerate a man like him. Can you give me some feedback?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This question was possibly addressed by you to another Guru and has come to me now. In case, I have delayed in responding, my apologies to you!
All my suggestions and feedback have been given in response to your first question. In your follow-up, you have only shared more information but the issue is the same. So kindly follow the suggestions given and well efforts do lead to some roads and some newer roads as well...for any legal matters, please do contact legal experts who will guide you accordingly.
And again I emphasize this: Use this time away from him to set your career and financial independence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Hi Dr Ashish., Please keep it as anonymus. I am married from the past 7.7 yrs outside my community. It was an arrange cum love marriage. He was a kind of aurthodox mindset and I agreed to all his terms & conditions without understanding peroperly before marriage. Then after I tried my level best to do as I was agreed to it. For an example not having friendship with the opposite sex etc. His father is a negative person and always doubt on me if I speak to my real & close cousins(Kaka's son). I stopped talking to my friends& cousins for him. This went till a year, then his father beaten me when I back answered him for something, then after we left the house. Since then we are staying separately from his father but he keeps coming to our house in my absense. I had left my job after marriage then after 3 yrs of marriage I again started working, I continued my futher study(LLB). Now his father is getting older, he wants to keep his father with us. By keeping everything a side I agreed. But as the domestic violance was already happened in the past, he is fearful if it happened for 2nd time I may take a legal action which I had not done earlier. Now he is asking me to give divorce and to stay together. He says is the relationship is only with the paper.We won't tell this to the world, it would be confidential between you & me. I want you & need you but I know my fathers nature & your nature. There are possibilities that the same incident may repeat in the future. If we divorce then you won't be able to take a legal action. I want to be anxiety free. I am egoistic, sometimes speaks rudely & trust me I am working on it and I am observng the changes in me as well day by day, still when he provokes me my temprament goes up. Since we married we hadn't a good relationship bcoz he feels I have cheated him because I speak to my male friends, male colleaugues, hand shake etc buy I know it is only professionally. He says you have less introspection, I am literally failed to convince him.Neither I like or go out with my male friends, after office either I go to temple or home. I handle all the household chores with my job. Still he doubts & although he is saying he is liberal but genetically the suspicous mindset comes naturally in his behavior. And also he didn't want to start the family, still I accept it. He never make me the nominee of his savings nor he shares about his future plannings. I always share about future, family, my salary & savings. Just bcoz he is not keeping me as nominee I also have stopped him. After every fight, I stop talking to him for my mental peace, take my space then we sit discuss & conclude. Now my mind is saying to move out, but I know after his father there is no one in his life to take care of him. I am disgusted with his mood & mentality. I don't know shall I listen to my heart or mind. Need your guidance.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. It’s clear that you’ve put immense effort and sacrifice into your marriage, often compromising your own needs to meet the expectations placed upon you. However, the situation you are in is both emotionally complex and mentally exhausting. Let’s carefully explore the dynamics and steps you can take.

Key Themes in Your Situation
Emotional Sacrifices vs. Trust Issues:
You’ve made significant sacrifices—distancing yourself from friends and family, adjusting to a different lifestyle, and even tolerating past mistreatment. Yet, your husband’s lack of trust and persistent suspicion continue to dominate the relationship.

Past Trauma with His Father:
The physical violence and controlling behavior from your father-in-law have left deep scars. Even though you’re willing to let him live with you again, your husband’s unusual request for a confidential divorce signals that he prioritizes his own fear of legal repercussions over building trust and stability with you.

Lack of Reciprocity:
While you share your financial plans and contribute to the household both emotionally and financially, your husband appears to withhold significant parts of his life from you. This lack of mutual transparency creates an imbalance.

Communication and Conflict:
Despite your efforts to manage conflicts through discussions and introspection, the cyclical nature of fights suggests that deeper issues—such as trust, control, and insecurity—remain unresolved.

Your Inner Conflict:
You feel torn between your empathy for his loneliness and your need to protect your mental health and autonomy. This inner struggle is a testament to your strength and compassion but also highlights the toll this relationship has taken on you.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Want from This Relationship?
Is this marriage providing you with emotional security, mutual respect, and a sense of partnership? Or is it mainly a source of stress and self-doubt?

Is the Current Dynamic Sustainable?
Considering the repeated conflicts, unresolved trust issues, and the request for a confidential divorce, ask yourself whether continuing in this relationship aligns with your personal growth and mental well-being.

What Do You Value Most?
Do you prioritize staying in this marriage to support your husband and his father, or do you feel the need to reclaim your independence and peace of mind?

Recommendations
Seek Clarity about the Divorce Proposal:
Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about his request for a divorce while staying together. Ask him:

“What do you believe this arrangement will solve? How do you see it benefiting both of us?”
This can help you understand his perspective and decide if it aligns with your values and goals.
Set Clear Boundaries:
If his father moves in, establish clear rules about behavior and communication. Ensure that your husband fully supports and enforces these boundaries to prevent any repeat of past violence.

Evaluate the Trust Issue:
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If your husband continues to doubt your professional interactions or friendships despite your transparency, consider whether this suspicion is something you can work through together or if it’s an inherent barrier.

Seek Professional Mediation:
Consider involving a counselor or mediator to help you both communicate more effectively. A neutral third party can help address unresolved issues, including trust, respect, and shared responsibilities.

Prioritize Your Well-Being:
You’ve been handling multiple responsibilities—work, studies, household chores, and emotional compromises. It’s essential to focus on your mental health. Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to make sound decisions.

Plan for Independence:
Whether you choose to stay or leave, ensure you have a solid plan for your financial and emotional independence. Keep your career and savings intact and consider leaning on trusted friends or family for support.

A Gentle Reminder
A relationship is meant to nurture, support, and inspire both partners. If it consistently drains you or leaves you questioning your worth, it’s worth reconsidering its place in your life. Empathy for your husband and his situation is admirable, but it should not come at the cost of your own peace and happiness.

Take time to reflect deeply. Whether you decide to stay and work on this relationship or move forward on your own, the choice should align with your core values and long-term well-being.

If you’d like to discuss further or need help navigating this situation, I am here to guide you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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I am a female 34 married to a 39 Male. I have a 4 year old daughter. Since the very beginning, i spent my savings for household expenses. I had expected him to spend money after my daughter's birth. Most of his income goes towards payment of EMI of 2 houses. I asked him to stop one emi so that we can live properly. He told me that he would always block money in some or the other investment and reduce his disposable income. So I changed my career path to a more lucrative one. I am currently studying to get employedvin such career. Its taking time as inspite of full time maid, i had to take care of her without his support but unnecessary criticism. I have made my own support system, take care of my daughter financially and even take care of her outings. When he is home he takes care of her but he is not consistent . Rather he will pick fights about how i am not a good mother. He has these anger issues where once he is angry he starts shouting, criticizing and sometimes swearing. I learnt to not listen to his words when angry but my daughter heard it twice. After every such fight he would apologize and placate me. But overtime i lost all love for him. He gets triggered by little things like a simple basket and then blow it up. Recently he came drunk and hit me. I asked him to stop and he slapped me twice and then stood near my bed taking about his feelings for 2 hours. The entire incident terrified me and i went back to my parents. I have asked him time and again to get therapy for his anger. I can't let my daughter grow in such environment. I am currently planning to live near my parents and live as a single mother. I am currently preparing for job interviews and the forthcoming exams. I keep hearing that if i am patient he will change. That he will suffer without his daughter. But he is not even considering therapy. Also he can visit her anytime. We live some 12 hours from his location but he can just come over weekends if he wants to. I am financially comfortable now and thus taking few months to set my career. Please advise if my plans are appropriate. I am
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It may seem cruel, but by actually maintaining some space between you and your husband, it is possible that he starts to mend his ways.
Use this time away from him to set your career and financial independence.
Whenever your husband comes over, make sure you set a boundary that tells him that he needs to change if he wishes to get back into the marriage.
He may not be willing to go into therapy, but he will need to as the root cause of his anger and self-esteem issues that are aggravating the situation will need to be sorted out. Also, a few sessions with both of you together will help you understand what exactly is going on in his mind and then you two can start working as a unit.
Be patient and use this time away wisely; ultimately you will have to take a call on when to do and what to do based on how things move around...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 38yr old working women .I have 3year old daughter. 2.5 years back my father in law expired . After which my MIL started staying with us as my husband is a single child. She started creating lot of trouble in our family because of which my husband left me and my child.since then my husband is not staying with us neither helping me or my child emotionally and financially even after speaking to him.We took couple therapy also. Nothing changed. Now as I to put my child for school, I am feeling burdened emotionally, physically and financially which I don't want to show at my kid. kindly guide me to come out of the situation and give the best safe environment for my daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why should you bear the responsibilities all by yourself?
Legal separation has not happened and he is still responsible towards your daughter who is his daughter as well. If nothing has come out of therapy, then the responsibility to change and work on the marriage has not been a strong need.
Have an honest conversation with your husband on this; leaving home with no clarity for anyone is not a very nice thing to do...
Let him state his side of the story as to what he intends to do in the future with the marriage and maintenance of the child. If he refuses to offer support, legal recourse might be your only option.
But before doing anything, a frank chat with him is necessary. Know what's on his mind and do understand that your daughter is eligible to support financially from her father. So, don't go through with all this alone.
Do make an attempt to put things back together and then opt for other choices...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello i am 35 years old and married since 10 years, i have a daughter of 7 years. Me and daughter are at my father's place now we came here in December 2023 and my husband is in kolkata, the reason of this shift was the financial burden on my father since 10 years and he is retired now as he has been helping us financially since 10 years. Earlier me, my daughter and my husband were all staying together at my paternal house in kolkata. So because of being dependent on my father even till now there were many problems between me and my husband so me and my husband decided to shift to hyderabad and both of us being dentist thought of working and taking care of my daughter and take a rented house for ourselves. Everything was fine between us and my husband also came for my daughter's birthday in March to hyderabad and we stayed together for 5 days and then he said he would try for jobs n come back but out of nowhere suddenly my husband sent me an advocates letter seeking consent for mutual divorce which was really very very sudden and unpredictable. Later i found that his colleague in the clinic in kolkata is divorced has 2 kids and is in live in relation with my husband. This is completely a shock for me as my husband was not like this earlier at all. He now wants divorce from me at any means and doesn't bother about my daughter as well. There's no contact with my husband since August 30th and in a recent relationship of 6 months he wants to finish everything. I am completely disturbed mentally please suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is really sad. It would have been mature of him to say things to your face instead of running away. Anyway, you are faced with a situation where you are going to need solid legal advice.
So, do just that and find a lawyer who can smartly deal with the issues on how to protect your daughter's interests. As for you, this being such a shocker is going to make you lose faith in a marriage. But remember things could have gotten worse...his true colors came in through this way...he could have very well cheated on you while living with you as well. This is not to justify what he's done of course but for you to find peace within you somehow.
But, before taking this serious step, I would encourage you to speak with him. Let him make an effort to come down meet you and at that time do ask him if he really wants divorce. Also, by then you will also have to make up your mind that in case he apologizes, if you want to forgive him and move on...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Relationship
Hello ma'am! It has been long time since the last update. After the counselling session, I moved back to my wife's allotted quarter though I stayed in a separate room. I have been trying to contribute both financially and physically to the family. I started to come home a little early (though still somewhat late). In one of the discussions, wife asked me to avoid going to functions or get together with her and also consider this as a temporary arrangement and move out after the daughter leaves home for college. Despite all this, we performed a "havan" at home a month ago with the aim to settle things down. Finally, after a lot of hesitation I talked to my in-laws in the absence of my wife. I explained to them the need of three of us to function as an unit and create our own space which requires either us or them moving out. However the father in law was of the opinion that I was doing this to pressurize my wife. 2 months ago he had suggested divorce as an option because of the mental stress borne by his daughter. Overall they didn't seem to accept the offer/ suggestion. Meanwhile, my relationship with my wife and daughter remains stagnant. Some inertia has also creeped into my mind with a decline in the intensity of my efforts. The daughter is not doing well in her studies and doesn't listen to me. Most of the times she is occupied in her mobile. We as parents differ in our views about handling this situation. I am of the view that she should be taken off mobile. Battling so many fronts I am puzzled about the future course of action. Please suggest...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly the in-laws interfering isn't helping at all. I hope they understand that their presence is causing issues in their daughter's marriage. Why don't you and your wife take a break away from all of this? At times, interference can become very overbearing and it's difficult to have an independent view of the marriage. Your wife needs to experience marriage without her parents being around...And on this break, talk about the future and how you will like the marriage to be. And also hear her out speak aloud...it's possible she's carrying a lot of weight about things...expressing these might help soften her stance a bit...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10906 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
Now you have income and intent to close dues.
That itself is a strong and positive step.

There are solutions available.

What “written off” actually means

– “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
– It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
– The amount is still legally payable.
– Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

– CIBIL shows this as serious default.
– But it is not a criminal case.

Your biggest worry clarified clearly
Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

In most practical cases, NO.

– Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
– Interest technically keeps accruing.
– But banks know recovery is difficult.

– They prefer one-time settlement.
– They want closure, not long fights.

What usually happens in real life

– Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Bank internal system may show higher amount.

– They may initially demand more.
– This is a negotiation starting point.

– Final settlement usually happens near:
– Principal amount
– Or slightly above principal

– Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

Why your position is actually strong

– Default happened due to job loss.
– Time gap is several years.
– Account is already written off.

– You are now willing to pay.
– You can offer lump sum.

Banks respect lump sum offers.

What you should NOT do

– Do not panic and pay blindly.
– Do not accept verbal promises.
– Do not pay without written confirmation.

– Do not pay partial amounts casually.
– That weakens your negotiation position.

Correct step-by-step approach
Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

– Call customer care.
– Ask for recovery or settlement team.
– Avoid agents initially.

Step 2: Ask for settlement option

Use clear language:
– You lost job earlier.
– Situation is stable now.
– You want to close accounts fully.

Ask specifically for:
– One Time Settlement option
– Written settlement letter

Step 3: Negotiate calmly

– Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

– Bank may counter with higher number.
– This is normal negotiation.

– Many cases close between:
– 100% to 130% of principal

Rarely more, if negotiated well.

Important: Written settlement letter

Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

– Full and final settlement
– No further dues will remain
– Account will be closed
– CIBIL status will be updated

Never rely on phone assurance.

How payment should be made

– Pay only to bank account.
– Avoid cash payments.
– Keep receipts safely.

– After payment, collect closure letter.

Impact on your CIBIL score

Be very clear on this point.

– “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
– Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

– “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
– But still considered negative initially.

– Score improves gradually over time.

What improves CIBIL after settlement

– No new defaults
– Timely payments on future credit
– Low credit utilisation
– Patience

Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

Should you wait or settle now?

Settling now is better because:

– Old defaults block future loans.
– Housing loan becomes difficult.
– Car loan interest becomes high.

– Emotional stress continues otherwise.

Closure brings mental relief.

Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

– Harassment has reduced significantly.
– RBI rules are stricter now.
– Written settlement protects you.

– If harassment happens, complain formally.

Have others faced this situation?

Yes, thousands.

– Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
– Credit card defaults increased widely.

– Most cases got settled reasonably.
– You are not alone.

Things working in your favour

– Old default
– Written-off status already marked
– Willingness to pay lump sum
– Stable income now

This gives negotiation power.

After settlement: what next

– Avoid credit cards initially.
– Start with small secured products.

– Pay everything on time.
– Keep credit usage low.

– Score will heal gradually.

Final reassurance

You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
Banks prefer realistic recovery.
Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

Handle this calmly and formally.
Take everything in writing.
You are doing the right thing now.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10906 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

» Your current life stage reality
– You are 62 years old.
– You are in active retirement planning phase.
– Capital protection matters more than growth.

– Cash flow comfort is critical.
– Stress-free income is more important than returns.
– Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

» Understanding the type of policies you bought
– These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
– They mix protection and investment together.

– Such products are complex by design.
– Benefits are spread over long durations.

– Charges are high in early years.
– Liquidity remains very limited initially.

» Core issue with such policies at your age
– These policies suit younger earners better.
– They need long holding periods.

– At 62, time horizon is shorter.
– You need access to money now.

– Premium commitment becomes stressful.
– Returns remain unclear for many years.

» Focus on your stated need
– You want benefits while alive.
– You want income and flexibility.

– You do not want confusion.
– You want transparency.

– This is absolutely reasonable.

» Reality check on living benefits
– Living benefits are slow in such policies.
– Early years give very little value.

– Most benefits come much later.
– This delays usefulness.

– Income promises are often misunderstood.
– Actual cash flow is usually low.

» Why agents fail to give clarity
– Products are difficult to explain honestly.
– Commissions are front-loaded.

– Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
– Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

– This creates disappointment later.

» Premium stress is a clear warning sign
– Difficulty paying premium is serious.
– It should never be ignored.

– Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
– This signals mismatch with your needs.

» Can such policies be closed
– Yes, they can be exited.
– Exit terms depend on policy status.

– Minimum holding period usually applies.
– After that, surrender becomes possible.

– You may receive surrender value.
– This value is often lower initially.

» Emotional barrier around surrender
– Many seniors fear losing money.
– This fear delays correct decisions.

– Continuing wrong products increases loss.
– Early correction reduces damage.

» Assessment of continuing versus exiting
– Continuing means more premium burden.
– Returns remain uncertain.

– Liquidity stays restricted.
– Stress continues every year.

– Exiting stops further premium drain.
– Money becomes usable elsewhere.

» Income needs in retirement
– Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
– Expenses do not wait for maturity.

– Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
– Family support needs flexibility.

– Locked products reduce confidence.

» Insurance versus investment separation
– Insurance should protect, not invest.
– Investment should grow or give income.

– Mixing both causes confusion.
– Separation improves clarity.

» What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
– Your regular expenses.
– Your emergency fund adequacy.

– Your health cover sufficiency.
– Your existing liquid assets.

– Your comfort with volatility.

» Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
– These policies are not ideal now.
– They strain cash flow.

– They do not give immediate income.
– They reduce flexibility.

– Surrender should be seriously considered.

» How to approach surrender decision calmly
– First, ask for surrender value statement.
– Ask insurer directly, not agents.

– Request written breakup.
– Include all charges.

– Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

» Important surrender-related points
– Surrender value may seem low.
– This is common in early years.

– Focus on future peace, not past loss.
– Stop throwing good money after bad.

» Tax aspect awareness
– Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
– This depends on policy structure.

– Get clarity before final action.
– Plan withdrawal carefully.

» What to do after surrender
– Do not keep money idle.
– Reinvest based on retirement needs.

– Focus on income generation.
– Focus on capital safety.

» Suitable investment approach after exit
– Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
– Choose conservative to balanced options.

– Prefer actively managed funds.
– They adjust during market changes.

» Why index funds are unsuitable here
– Index funds mirror full market falls.
– No downside protection exists.

– Volatility can disturb sleep.
– Recovery may take time.

– Active funds aim to reduce damage.
– This suits senior investors better.

» Why regular mutual fund route helps
– Guidance is crucial at this age.
– Behaviour control matters.

– Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

– Cost difference is worth guidance.

» Income planning without annuities
– Avoid irreversible income products.
– Keep flexibility alive.

– Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
– Control amount and timing.

» Liquidity planning importance
– Keep enough money accessible.
– Emergencies do not announce arrival.

– Liquidity gives mental comfort.
– Avoid forced asset sales.

» Health expense preparedness
– Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
– Inflation is brutal here.

– Keep separate health contingency fund.
– Do not depend on policy maturity.

» Estate and family clarity
– Ensure nominees are updated.
– Write a clear Will.

– Avoid confusion for family.
– Simplicity matters now.

» Psychological peace as a goal
– Retirement planning is emotional.
– Stress harms health.

– Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
– Confidence comes from control.

» Red flags you should never ignore
– Premium pressure.
– Unclear benefits.

– Long lock-in periods.
– Agent-driven explanations only.

» What you should do immediately
– Ask insurer for surrender details.
– Evaluate calmly with numbers.

– Stop listening only to agents.
– Seek unbiased planning view.

» What not to do
– Do not continue blindly.
– Do not stop premiums without clarity.

– Do not delay decision endlessly.
– Delay increases loss.

» Your age-specific investment mindset
– Growth is secondary now.
– Stability is primary.

– Income visibility is essential.
– Liquidity is non-negotiable.

» Emotional reassurance
– You are not alone.
– Many seniors face similar issues.

– Correcting course is strength.
– It is never too late.

» Final Insights
– These policies are not aligned now.
– Premium stress confirms mismatch.

– Surrender option should be explored seriously.
– Protect peace over promises.

– Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
– Focus on living benefits and comfort.

– Simplicity will serve you best now.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10906 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
Hi Reetika, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: You have taken a sensible start with disciplined savings.
Owning a house without loans is a strong advantage.
Starting early retirement assets shows responsibility.
Your goals are clear and time is still supportive.

» Life stage and responsibility review
– You are 43 years old and employed.
– Your income phase is still growing.
– Your child is in 11th Science.

– Education expenses will start very soon.
– Marriage goals are medium-term.
– Retirement is long-term but critical.

– This stage needs balance, not extremes.
– Growth and safety both are required.

» Current asset structure understanding
– Retirement-linked savings already exist.
– These assets give long-term discipline.

– Provident savings form a stable base.
– Pension-oriented savings add future comfort.

– Public savings give safety and tax efficiency.
– Fixed deposits give short-term liquidity.

– Overall structure is conservative currently.
– Growth assets need gradual strengthening.

» Liquidity and emergency readiness
– Fixed deposits cover immediate needs.
– Emergency risk appears controlled.

– Maintain at least six months expenses.
– This avoids forced investment exits.

– Do not reduce liquidity for long-term goals.

» Education goal time horizon assessment
– Child education starts within few years.
– Expenses will rise sharply during graduation.

– Foreign education may increase cost further.
– This goal needs partial safety focus.

– Avoid market-linked volatility for near-term needs.

» Marriage goal perspective
– Marriage goal is emotional and financial.
– Expenses usually occur after education.

– This allows moderate growth approach.
– Capital protection remains important.

» Retirement goal clarity
– Retirement is still twenty years away.
– Time is your biggest strength.

– Small discipline now creates big comfort later.
– Growth assets must play a key role.

» Gap understanding for Rs. 80 lacs goal
– Your current assets are lower than required.
– This gap is normal at this age.

– Regular investing will bridge the gap.
– Lump sum expectations should be realistic.

– Salary growth will support higher investments later.

» Income utilisation approach
– Salary should fund regular investments.
– Annual increments should raise contributions.

– Bonuses should be goal-based.
– Avoid lifestyle inflation.

» Asset allocation strategy direction
– Future investments must be diversified.
– Do not depend on one asset type.

– Growth-oriented funds suit long-term goals.
– Stable funds suit near-term needs.

– Balance reduces stress during volatility.

» Mutual fund role in your plan
– Mutual funds allow disciplined participation.
– They reduce direct market timing risk.

– Professional management adds value.
– Diversification improves consistency.

– They suit education and retirement goals.

» Why actively managed funds matter
– Markets are volatile and emotional.
– Index funds follow markets blindly.

– Index funds fall fully during downturns.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds adjust exposure.
– Fund managers reduce risk during stress.

– They aim to protect capital better.
– This suits family goals.

» Regular investing discipline
– Monthly investing builds habit.
– Market ups and downs get averaged.

– This reduces regret and fear.
– Discipline matters more than timing.

» Direct versus regular fund clarity
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Monitoring becomes your responsibility.

– Wrong decisions hurt long-term goals.
– Emotional exits are common.

– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds value.

– Behaviour control protects returns.

» Tax awareness for mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund long-term gains face tax.
– Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.
– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.

– Debt fund gains follow slab rates.

– Tax planning must align with withdrawals.

» Education funding investment approach
– Use stable and balanced funds.
– Avoid aggressive exposure close to need.

– Gradually reduce risk as goal nears.
– Protect capital before usage.

» Marriage funding approach
– Balanced growth approach is suitable.
– Do not chase high returns.

– Ensure funds are available on time.

» Retirement funding approach
– Long-term horizon allows growth focus.
– Equity-oriented funds are essential.

– Volatility is acceptable now.
– Time smoothens risk.

» Review of existing retirement assets
– Provident savings ensure base security.
– Pension savings add longevity support.

– These assets should remain untouched.
– They form your safety net.

» Inflation impact awareness
– Education inflation is very high.
– Medical inflation rises faster.

– Retirement expenses increase steadily.
– Growth assets fight inflation.

» Insurance protection check
– Ensure adequate life cover.
– Family must remain protected.

– Health cover must be sufficient.
– Medical costs can derail plans.

» Estate and nomination hygiene
– Ensure nominations are updated.
– Family clarity avoids future stress.

– Consider writing a Will.
– This ensures smooth asset transfer.

» Behavioural discipline importance
– Market noise creates confusion.
– Stick to your plan.

– Avoid frequent changes.
– Consistency brings results.

» Review and tracking rhythm
– Review investments once a year.
– Avoid daily monitoring.

– Adjust based on life changes.
– Keep goals priority-based.

» Risk capacity versus risk tolerance
– Your risk capacity is moderate.
– Your responsibilities are high.

– Avoid extreme strategies.
– Balance comfort and growth.

» Psychological comfort in planning
– Your base is already strong.
– Time supports your goals.

– Discipline will do the heavy work.
– Panic is your biggest enemy.

» Finally
– Yes, achieving Rs. 80 lacs is possible.
– Time and discipline are in your favour.

– Start structured investing immediately.
– Increase contributions with income growth.

– Keep goals separated mentally.
– Stay invested during volatility.

– Your journey looks stable and hopeful.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10906 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi , I am 50 years old having wife and 1 kid. I got laid off in March 2025 and currently running my own company since July 2025 where in I had invested Rs. 2.50 lacs. At present I am not taking any money from the company but we are not making any losses either. I am having an Investment of 1) 30 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 2) 20 lacs in NSC maturing in year 2030. 3) 9 lacs in Mutual Funds. 4) 45 lacs in Equity which i intend to liquidate and put in Mutual Funds. 5) 75 lacs in PPF, PF & NPS. 6) Wife earning 50 lacs annually. 7) She has 40 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 8) 1.20 Cr. in PPF, PF & NPS. 9) We also own 2 properties with current fair market value of Rs. 5 Cr. 10) One property is giving us rent of Rs. 66K per month. 11) Apart from this we are also expecting to get ~ Rs. 2.50 Cr. over next 15 years for the insurance policies getting matured. Expenses & Liabilities: 1) Monthly expenses of Rs. 4.50 lacs which includes Rent, Insurance premium, EMI against Education loan for my kid's, Medical premium, Travel, Grocery and other miscl. expenses. 2) Car loan EMI of 40,000 per month which is included in the Rs. 4.50 lacs monthly expenses. This loan is till March 2027. 3) Education loan of Rs. 1.05 Cr. with current liability of Rs. 80 lacs as we paid Rs. 25 lacs to the Bank as prepayment. We need to spend ~ Rs. 40 lacs more to support for the kid education in USA till year 2027. 4) We intend to pay the entire Education loan by max. 2030. My question is, will this be enough for me and my wife for the retirement as my wife intends to work till 2037 if everything goes fine (when she turns 60) and I will continue running my company looking at taking Rs. 1 lacs per month from it from next FY.
Ans: You have built strong assets with discipline and patience.
Your financial journey shows clarity, courage, and long-term thinking.
Despite job loss, stability is well protected.
Your family position is better than most Indian households.

» Current life stage understanding
– You are 50 years old with working spouse.
– One child pursuing overseas education.
– You are semi-employed through your own business.
– Your wife has strong income visibility.
– This phase needs protection, not aggressive risk.

– Cash flow control matters more than returns now.
– Liquidity planning is extremely important.
– Emotional decisions must be avoided.

» Employment transition and business assessment
– Job loss was sudden but handled calmly.
– Starting your company shows confidence and skill.
– Initial investment of Rs. 2.50 lacs is reasonable.
– Zero loss position is a good sign.

– No salary draw reduces pressure on business.
– Planned Rs. 1 lac monthly draw is sensible.
– This keeps household stability intact.
– Business income should be treated as variable.

– Do not overestimate future business income.
– Use it only as a support pillar.

» Family income stability review
– Wife earning Rs. 50 lacs annually is a major strength.
– Her income anchors your retirement plan.
– Employment till 2037 gives long runway.

– Her savings discipline looks excellent.
– Large retirement corpus already exists.
– This reduces pressure on your assets.

– You should align plans jointly.
– Retirement must be treated as family goal.

» Asset allocation snapshot assessment
– You hold assets across cash, debt, equity, and retirement buckets.
– Diversification already exists.
– That shows mature planning habits.

– Savings and FDs give immediate liquidity.
– NSC gives defined maturity comfort.
– Equity exposure is meaningful.
– Retirement accounts are strong.

– Real estate is end-use, not investment.
– Rental income adds safety.

» Savings accounts and FDs analysis
– Rs. 30 lacs in savings and FDs offer flexibility.
– Wife holding Rs. 40 lacs adds cushion.

– This covers emergencies and education gaps.
– Liquidity is sufficient for next three years.

– Avoid keeping excess idle cash long-term.
– Inflation quietly erodes value.

– Use this bucket for planned withdrawals.

» NSC maturity planning
– Rs. 20 lacs maturing in 2030 is well timed.
– This aligns with education loan closure.

– This can be earmarked for debt repayment.
– Do not link this to retirement spending.

– It gives psychological comfort.

» Mutual fund exposure review
– Existing mutual fund holding is small.
– Rs. 9 lacs needs scaling gradually.

– Your plan to shift equity into funds is wise.
– This improves risk management.

– Mutual funds suit retirement phase better.
– They provide professional management.

– Avoid sudden large transfers.
– Phased movement reduces timing risk.

» Direct equity exposure evaluation
– Rs. 45 lacs in equity needs careful handling.
– Market volatility can hurt emotions.

– Concentration risk exists in direct equity.
– Monitoring requires time and skill.

– Gradual exit is sensible.
– Move funds into diversified mutual funds.

– Avoid panic selling.
– Use market strength periods for exits.

» Retirement accounts strength review
– Combined PF, PPF, and NPS is very strong.
– Your Rs. 75 lacs is meaningful.
– Wife’s Rs. 1.20 Cr is excellent.

– These assets ensure base retirement security.
– They protect longevity risk.

– Do not disturb these accounts prematurely.
– Let compounding continue.

» Real estate role clarity
– Two properties worth Rs. 5 Cr add net worth comfort.
– One property gives Rs. 66k monthly rent.

– Rental income supports expenses partially.
– This reduces portfolio withdrawal stress.

– Do not consider new property investments.
– Focus on financial assets.

» Insurance maturity inflows assessment
– Expected Rs. 2.50 Cr over 15 years is valuable.
– This gives future liquidity.

– These inflows should not be spent casually.
– They must be reinvested wisely.

– Align maturity money with retirement phase.

» Expense structure evaluation
– Monthly expense of Rs. 4.50 lacs is high.
– This includes many essential heads.

– Education, rent, insurance, travel are significant.
– EMI burden is temporary.

– Expenses will reduce after 2027.
– That improves retirement readiness.

» Car loan review
– EMI of Rs. 40,000 till March 2027 is manageable.
– This is already included in expenses.

– No action required here.
– Avoid new vehicle loans.

» Education loan strategy
– Education loan balance of Rs. 80 lacs is large.
– Overseas education requires careful funding.

– Planned additional Rs. 40 lacs till 2027 is realistic.
– Do not compromise retirement assets for education.

– Target full closure by 2030 is practical.
– Use NSC maturity and surplus income.

– Avoid using retirement accounts for repayment.

» Cash flow alignment till 2027
– Wife’s income covers majority expenses.
– Rental income adds support.

– Business draw of Rs. 1 lac helps.
– Savings bridge shortfalls.

– Cash flow mismatch risk is low.

» Retirement readiness assessment
– Combined family net worth is strong.
– Retirement corpus foundation is already built.

– Major expenses peak before 2027.
– After that, burden reduces.

– Wife working till 2037 adds security.
– This delays retirement withdrawals.

» Post-2037 retirement picture
– After wife retires, expenses will drop.
– No education costs.
– No major EMIs.

– Medical costs will rise gradually.
– Planning buffers already exist.

– Rental income continues.

» Mutual fund strategy for future
– Shift equity proceeds into diversified mutual funds.
– Use a mix of growth-oriented and balanced approaches.

– Avoid index-based investing.
– Index funds lack downside protection.

– They move fully with markets.
– No human judgement is applied.

– Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
– They protect better during volatility.

– Skilled managers add value over cycles.

» Direct funds versus regular funds clarity
– Regular funds offer guidance and discipline.
– Ongoing review is critical at this stage.

– Direct funds require self-monitoring.
– Errors can be costly near retirement.

– Behaviour management matters more than cost.
– Professional handholding reduces mistakes.

– Use mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials.

» Tax awareness on mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed.
– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.

– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.
– Debt mutual fund gains follow slab rates.

– Plan withdrawals tax efficiently.
– Do not churn unnecessarily.

» Withdrawal sequencing in retirement
– Start withdrawals from surplus funds first.
– Use rental income for regular expenses.

– Keep retirement accounts untouched initially.
– Delay withdrawals improves longevity.

– Insurance maturity inflows can fund later years.

» Medical and health planning
– Medical inflation is a major risk.
– Ensure adequate health cover.

– Review coverage every three years.
– Build separate medical contingency fund.

– Avoid dipping into equity during emergencies.

» Estate and succession clarity
– Assets are large and diverse.
– Proper nominations are critical.

– Draft a clear Will.
– Review beneficiaries periodically.

– Avoid family disputes later.

» Psychological comfort and risk control
– You are financially strong.
– Avoid fear-driven decisions.

– Avoid chasing returns.
– Stability matters more now.

– Keep plans simple and review yearly.

» Finally
– Yes, your assets are sufficient for retirement.
– Discipline must continue.

– Control expenses during transition years.
– Avoid large lifestyle upgrades.

– Focus on asset allocation, not market timing.
– Your retirement future looks secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6751 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Career
Sir i have given 12th in 2025 and passed with 69% but not given jee exam in 2025 and not in 2026 also But i want iit anyhow sir is this possible that i give 12th in 2027 and cleared 75 criteria then give jee mains and also i am eligible for jee advanced
Ans: You have already appeared for and passed the Class 12 examination in 2025. As per the eligibility criteria, only two consecutive attempts for JEE (Advanced) are permitted—the first in 2025 and the second in 2026. Therefore, you will not be eligible to appear for JEE (Advanced) in 2027. Reappearing for Class 12 does not reset or extend JEE (Advanced) eligibility.

However, you can still achieve your goal of studying at an IIT through an alternative and well-established pathway. You may take admission to an undergraduate engineering program of your choice, appear for the GATE examination in your final year, and secure a qualifying score to gain admission to a postgraduate program at a top IIT.

This is a strong and viable route to IIT. At this stage, it would be advisable to move forward by enrolling in an engineering program rather than focusing again on Class 12, JEE Main, or JEE Advanced.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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