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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 04, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Jagmeet Question by Jagmeet on May 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am relationship with someone but i have trust issue because he suddenly stop talk with me and start fighting with me because i am not trust on him and i put some wrong allegations on him that time he said to me please don't talk with me i do everything but he said you do drama what i should do i am thinking he is cheater because he suddenly stop conversation and start doing fight

Ans: I read 2 things in your comment (1) You have trust issues (2) the person you are with is cheating on you. Now lets reverse the table, and let me know if I had these issues what would have you recommended, I assume you would have asked me to (1) work on my issues, learn why I have trust issues and try to overcome them. (2) And ask me to rethink if I wish to engage with someone who cheats me romantically or otherwise... Hope you find the response to your question in what has been shared.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1585 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

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Hi sir I'm from Mumbai I'm 24 years and I'm in love with a guy who I met in hyd and he is 28 years during the time of relationship he was very good but after we started to b in long distance relationship he started to accuse me of cheating on him I never cheated but he always behaves hot nd cold with me it's been happening since a long time when I was in hyd at that tym also he use to behave very rudely with me but I use to let go of everything he did to me but since we r in long distance he is constantly accusing me of cheating when I'm not working I'm sitting at my house 24/7 I don't even go out I'm not able to understand why is he doing like that sir this sun he accused me of cheating nd lying just bcoz i didn't call him in the night due to issues in my house when I called him the next day he started accusing me of cheating nd lying even when I'm telling him the truth it's been 5 days he hasn't msged or called me what should I do i wanna leave him nd move on but when ever I leave him he comes back then again he goes then again he comes back
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Him disappearing for five days after accusing you of lying, even when you had a genuine reason for not calling, shows that he’s not handling conflict in a healthy way. You shouldn’t have to keep defending yourself when you’ve done nothing wrong. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if he keeps doubting you despite your honesty, it means he’s not ready to trust you fully—or he may have his own unresolved issues that he’s projecting onto you.

Wanting to leave him and move on is completely valid. The problem is that when he comes back, it reignites hope that maybe things will get better—but the cycle just repeats. If he’s not willing to reflect on his behavior or work on building trust, it’s not going to change. You deserve consistency, not this emotional push and pull. Letting go is hard, but staying in a situation where you constantly have to prove yourself will drain you emotionally. If you’re leaning toward leaving, try to stay firm this time, even if he comes back. Your peace of mind matters more than holding on to a relationship that makes you feel constantly questioned and misunderstood.

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2025

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hi maam im 24 years old im from mumbai im in love with a guy who is from hyd and he is 28 years old we have been together since 1 year when i was in hyd he did many things which hurt me like falsely accusing me of cheating with my collegues who are elder to me coming to my office and fighting over there calling me nd abusing me but i let go off everything he did with me and he did many more things later we started to b in a long distance relationship he use to always say lets b good with eachother from now and lets forget our past but since the tym we r in long distance still he always accuse me of cheating and lying even when im saying the truth i never cheated on him even once and never even thought about it but he always accuse me of cheating always and everyday and since some days he is always behaving hot and cold with me im not able to understand anything this last sun he called me but i didnt lift the call due to some issues in my house so i called him the next day and he started to accuse me of cheating and lying when i was telling the truth i wanna leave him and move on but when ever i leave he comes back again he leaves me again he comes back im not able to understand what should i do now
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.

..Read more

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