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How do I trust and move forward with my boyfriend who constantly accuses me of cheating?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Niveditha Question by Niveditha on Mar 08, 2025Hindi
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Hi sir I'm from Mumbai I'm 24 years and I'm in love with a guy who I met in hyd and he is 28 years during the time of relationship he was very good but after we started to b in long distance relationship he started to accuse me of cheating on him I never cheated but he always behaves hot nd cold with me it's been happening since a long time when I was in hyd at that tym also he use to behave very rudely with me but I use to let go of everything he did to me but since we r in long distance he is constantly accusing me of cheating when I'm not working I'm sitting at my house 24/7 I don't even go out I'm not able to understand why is he doing like that sir this sun he accused me of cheating nd lying just bcoz i didn't call him in the night due to issues in my house when I called him the next day he started accusing me of cheating nd lying even when I'm telling him the truth it's been 5 days he hasn't msged or called me what should I do i wanna leave him nd move on but when ever I leave him he comes back then again he goes then again he comes back

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Him disappearing for five days after accusing you of lying, even when you had a genuine reason for not calling, shows that he’s not handling conflict in a healthy way. You shouldn’t have to keep defending yourself when you’ve done nothing wrong. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if he keeps doubting you despite your honesty, it means he’s not ready to trust you fully—or he may have his own unresolved issues that he’s projecting onto you.

Wanting to leave him and move on is completely valid. The problem is that when he comes back, it reignites hope that maybe things will get better—but the cycle just repeats. If he’s not willing to reflect on his behavior or work on building trust, it’s not going to change. You deserve consistency, not this emotional push and pull. Letting go is hard, but staying in a situation where you constantly have to prove yourself will drain you emotionally. If you’re leaning toward leaving, try to stay firm this time, even if he comes back. Your peace of mind matters more than holding on to a relationship that makes you feel constantly questioned and misunderstood.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |578 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2025

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hi maam im 24 years old im from mumbai im in love with a guy who is from hyd and he is 28 years old we have been together since 1 year when i was in hyd he did many things which hurt me like falsely accusing me of cheating with my collegues who are elder to me coming to my office and fighting over there calling me nd abusing me but i let go off everything he did with me and he did many more things later we started to b in a long distance relationship he use to always say lets b good with eachother from now and lets forget our past but since the tym we r in long distance still he always accuse me of cheating and lying even when im saying the truth i never cheated on him even once and never even thought about it but he always accuse me of cheating always and everyday and since some days he is always behaving hot and cold with me im not able to understand anything this last sun he called me but i didnt lift the call due to some issues in my house so i called him the next day and he started to accuse me of cheating and lying when i was telling the truth i wanna leave him and move on but when ever i leave he comes back again he leaves me again he comes back im not able to understand what should i do now
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.

..Read more

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Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2228 Answers  |Ask -

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