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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I am single and active on multiple dating apps. However, I have never really had the courage to spend the night with a guy I have only met or known for a little while. I have noticed that a lot of boys move on after the first date if you act too tight. I am just being safe. How do I explain this without offending someone who may be genuine?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

First of all, that's good thinking on your part. The basics of being safe while dating online dictate you take mindful steps, and this is one of them. Now, coming to how you can convey your worries without offending, you don't owe anyone any explanation on why you choose not to spend the night with them. But, if you insist on explaining, you can tell the guy that you like him but would want to know him better and on a deeper level before taking the party somewhere private.

Guys who genuinely like you will never force you into doing something you are not comfortable with or even ask you to justify your choices. If he moves on because you act "too tight," or as I'd put it, act carefully and as you see fit, so let him; you deserve and will meet someone better than that. The number of dates you have been on does not decide anything; you do.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.
Ans:

Dear SD,

Ghosting of a high order.

Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?

Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?

Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?

Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.

Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.

How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.

Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.

You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.

Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!

Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.

So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.

Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.

Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ravi. Im a 33 year old female, in search of life partner. Through matrimony groups I was shared a contact of a guy and we spoke over call. Initially there was interest from both ends we messaged each other and asked for calls. As we came to know about each other, he is more of an extrovert, enjoys socializing ,consumes alcohol etc. Although Im exposed to cosmopolitan culture I come from a more disciplined/simple/traditional upbringing. Not orthodox but would have preferred someone without those habits. I did not judge him based on his habits, I clearly told that we may try to give each other a chance and I do consider all the other good things in him like being ambitious, attached to his family, independent, cooks for himself , has a good routine, a person who enjoys life and seemed like a happy and cheerful guy. But he kind of judged me for expressing that I looked at alcohol as not a very good habit etc . He had past relationships and asked my opinion on continuing with them as friends, again I said that its past so if he is over it and doesn't let it hamper his future I wouldn't look at it negatively. Although seems like he even had physical relations I dint dig deep or asked any questions. I felt like I did give it a shot and wanted to take a chance bcoz of few good aspects considering we both are of similar backgrounds (the way we were exposed to mixed cultures etc growing up), have satisfied each others non negotiables , have same opinions on joint family, kids etc. He also expressed dilemma over being in different cities cant get to know each other etc and I was like we can meet if we wish to and if we want to take it forward, its not an impossible task. The last time we spoke he said he needs time and he wasnt sure, also suggested that we speak to other people as well. now its been 2 months and neither of us contacted each other. I assumed as he asked for time if he was interested he would get back, he even was seeing all my WA status updates until some time back. So I dint contact, also even while we were talking most of the times it was me initiating msgs asking for call etc. He even acknowledged the same that Im putting efforts and he is unsure etc . So should I really contact him now and check what he though or have self respect and ignore thinking that he is not interested (which looks like the case as he dint contact in 2months). The problem is Im also finding very difficult to find right guys and I feel in certain aspects he is good and should I really give it a chance and try from my side ? Parents are not involved as seems entire decision is of the guy. Im not on dating apps etc, never been in relationship and only looking for a person who can commit and Im in no space to do trial and error or want to get into online dating at this point of time because Im an emotional person and attaching-detaching is not easy for me. I guess Im attached to this person also somewhere and constantly thinking if I should msg or ignore. I was open to talk to others and see but unfortunately nothing worked out and dint get to talk to anyone else in this time. Please advise me, these thoughts are eating me up.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad that neither one of you decided to rush into committing to one another. Let me address all the issues one by one

First, I understand that you are not judging his lifestyle, but that does not mean you are not allowed to be concerned about it. We all have our preferences and there is nothing wrong with that.

Second, why should you be the only one putting in the work? A healthy connection is forged when both parties take an equal part in building it. Moreover, don't you think you deserve someone who would love to put some effort into building a relationship with you?

Third, if he isn't sure about this marriage, it is okay. But that does not mean he should leave you hanging. If it has been over two months and you are finding it difficult to give him any more time and space, you can communicate that to him. You can ask him if he has made up his mind and what his intentions are.

Fourth, please do not build a relationship with a person you are not entirely satisfied with because you do not have a better option right now. Do not set your bar low. Lack of options should not be the reason you choose him; you should only decide to marry him when you firmly believe that he is the right man for you.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi im 27 year old girl. My parents are looking for an alliance and liked a profile through matrimony. The guy also liked mine and asked for my no. He did chat well on the first day but then it felt like i was aksing majority of the questions and he was just responding to that. It has been a week. He just starts everyday with good morning or good noon. He doesn't ask anything else about me. Thing is im an intorvert but im trying hard to continue the conversation and understand him. Since his family is busy with some function they said they will fix first meetup in mid of the month with both families. He also asked for my insta. He doesnt seem to have much followers the no. Is in single digit. When asked he said he just opened recently and he doesnt use insta much. And he is also following these couple pages filled with wierd makeout videos. Im losing interest in him and also doubt his character. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It’s okay to have doubts. Your feelings are valid. Low effort from his side can be a concern. You can communicate the same worry with him and express that you wish him to be a little more involved in the conversation. Next, the instagram follower count is not a red flag in itself, but if the pages he follows bother you, have an open conversation about the same. It’s an arranged marriage setup and you do not have the luxury to “see where it goes.” Even if it’s awkward, it’s best to talk it out rather than regret later.
If nothing improves even after you express your concerns, you can rethink this relationship. An alliance is not a commitment. You both are measuring each other right now and if you think he isn’t the right fit, you do not have to pursue the connection forcefully.

Hope this helps

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My family is pressurising me to get married to a girl I am not interested in. I am 36 and the girl is 28. I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late night kinds. She is very active on social media. In fact, she was very judgemental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting. I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations. There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners. They feel I am overthinking and overreacting. I feel like no one is listening to me, what I want, including my grandparents. What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings. Please have one on one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually. Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, “She enjoys partying and I don’t. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?” “What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?” This might help them imagine the situation a little better. Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise. Have an honest conversation; don’t try to convince her to break the marriage, rather have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly. I am sure this will help you in the situation.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello, I have been investing in mutual funds using regular plans. Recently couple of my friends have been pushing me to stop SIPs and investments for Regular plans and go in with Direct plans. While I understand that the commissions that I pay to the financial advisor is considerable, I want to understand typically what how much am I losing by not investing in Direct plans. I read in a Sample report of an RIA that I will be losing around 15% due to regular plans. Is it a real thing? any thoughts about it? The inputs provided by my mutual fund distributor are good, but I do feel that I can also invest in flexi funds and achieve the same results. Kindly share your inputs.
Ans: Hi,

Yes there is a difference between regular and direct plans.
Direct plans are for people who have a very good understanding and can manage their portfolio. But even those people need an advisor at some point once their portfolio grows into lakhs and crores.
Hence it is always better to go for regular plans from the start as an early guidance helps you achieve your goals in a more planned way.

Choosing a wrong direct plan can adversely affect the portfolio and instead of saving 1% on commissions, one may end up losing upto 10% on an yearly basis.
Also choosing some random plans such as flexicap along with your regular portfolio is not a good idea. An advisor critically measures your profile and work accordingly.
It is always better to listen to your advisor.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41 yrs old working as a Senior Manager in PSB, living with my wife and no children. Due to work pressure, Stress, Transfer posting , etc. i am planning for semi-retirement at the middle of this year. Kindly advice is it too risky or fine to retire with my Asset & Liabilities as below ASSETS 1. NPS: 32.00 lakhs 2.Mutual Fund & Stock: 25.00 lakhs 3. FD: 16 Lakhs 4. Land: 40.00 lakhs 5. PPF: 3.5 lakhs LIABILITIES Car loan: 3.5 lakhs,EMI:7000/- After retirement I am planning for Banking & Financial consultancy business and DSA with Bank (Earning: Unpredictable). My current monthly expanses is Rs.50000/- per month. Living in Urban area.
Ans: Hi,

Your current assets are not sufficient for you to leave your job currently.
However, setup the business along with your job and then check the status after 6 months. If you are able to earn more than your expenses, you can consider getting retirement.
But make sure to have enough savings for other financial goals such as travel , health, other major liabilities etc.

You need atleast assets worth 1.1 crores in mutual funds for you to retire to fund your retirement forever (assuming xirr 11% pa.)

Hence try setting up a business side by side. And increase your investments in mutual funds substantially with help of a professional to get it aligned with your plans.

Consider consulting a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Hi Guru, I'm 43 Yrs old and investing in SIPs since last 4 years in the following - 1. SBI Small Cap Regular plan Growth - 5,000 2. ICICI Prudential Value Fund - 10,000 3. Motilal Oswal mid Cap fund - 5,000 4. Kotak Flexicap fund Regular Plan growth - 10,000 I also have the following policies - 1. ICICI Prudential Smartlife RP (ULIP) - 10,000 Per Month 2. Kotak Assured Savings Plan - 13,433 Per Month. Please check and let me know if everything is ok or else help me with any other SIPs or Policies. Many Thanks in Advance ..! Suresh G
Ans: Hi Suresh,

It is good that you have built a discipline for investing over the past 4 years.

The SIP funds you mentioned are good for long term, but selection can be improved more to generate better returns in alignment to your long term goals. You can try including large cap fund and make changes accordignly. Or choose to connect with a professional who will help you in improving fund selection.

The policies mentioned are not recommended to continue. Policies like this have a cagd of 5-6% annually when calculated accurately which is even less than FD. Hence you may choose to surrender and close these and redirect the investments into mutual funds for better returns and performance.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10998 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Considering current and future economic and situations, between fixed or floating home loan, which is better ? I'm going to take home loan from HDFC Bank for around 40 to 45 lakhs for 15 yrs. Pls suggest me also tell me what terms needs to be checked in loan agreement before signing
Ans: Appreciate your intent to choose the right loan structure with clear thinking. Choosing between fixed and floating rate for a home loan of around Rs 40–45 lakhs for 15 years is a big financial decision. It can impact your monthly cash flow, overall cost, and peace of mind.

» Difference between fixed and floating interest rates
– Fixed rate means your interest rate stays the same throughout the chosen fixed period. Your monthly EMI does not change during that period.
– Floating rate means the interest can go up or down with market benchmarks like the repo rate or bank’s internal benchmarks. Your EMI or loan tenure may adjust when rates change.

» What current and future economic conditions mean
– Interest rates globally and domestically have seen rises due to inflationary pressure, central bank policy tightening, and costlier funds for banks.
– In a rising rate scenario, fixed rates protect you from future rate hikes.
– In a falling or stable rate scenario, floating rates may cost less over time.

» Why floating rate usually works well for 15-year loans
– Floating rate typically starts lower than fixed rate, giving you initial cost advantage.
– Over long horizons, banks may adjust rates downward when economic pressure eases.
– You retain flexibility to prepay or refinance when rates soften.
– Many borrowers pay lower total interest with floating when rates stabilise.

» When fixed rate can be appropriate
– If you prioritise certainty of EMI and peace of mind even if rates rise in future.
– If you are not comfortable with EMI changes in your monthly budgeting.
– If your income is tight and you prefer predictable cash flows.

» Practical view for your case
– With a 15-year term and current rate cycle, floating rate is generally more suitable.
– It gives you lower initial cost and flexibility to refinance or prepay when rates soften.
– Fixed rate may feel secure but often costs more in long term if rates do not rise significantly.

» Key terms to check in loan agreement before signing
– Interest rate type and reset clause – How often the floating rate can change and by what benchmark.
– Processing fees and other charges – Upfront cost that adds to your total cost of borrowing.
– Prepayment and part-prepayment terms – Whether prepayment is allowed without penalty and how often you can prepay.
– Conversion options – Whether you can switch from floating to fixed (or vice versa) and at what cost.
– Penal interest – Charges if you delay EMI payments and how they are calculated.
– Loan disbursement schedule – Especially for under-construction properties, how and when funds are released.
– Foreclosure charges – Fees if you fully close the loan before term ends.
– Interest computation method – Whether interest is calculated on a reducing balance basis.

» How to structure your loan for comfort and cost efficiency
– Choose floating rate with a short initial lock-in if you prefer lower cost.
– Keep prepayment and part-payment flexibility open so you can reduce outstanding principal with surplus funds.
– Monitor rate environment annually to decide if converting to fixed or refinancing makes sense.
– Keep an emergency buffer so you are not pressured if floating rates tick up temporarily.

» Final Insights
– Floating rate home loan typically suits you better over 15 years in current economic context.
– Fixed rate gives peace but often costs more if rates do not rise sharply.
– Focus on key loan terms before signing so no surprises later.
– With careful planning and periodic review, your housing finance cost can be controlled well.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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