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Anu Krishna |1057 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 28, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - May 24, 2024Hindi

I am pregnant.. We hd love Marriage.... But after marriage i came to know that my husband hd 3 relationship with Married women and hd child with one. Still after marriage one of the women calls him and even me to disturb.. She infored me that my husband hd taken money from her and she need it all back... I tired asking about it but my husband ignores that questions.... but very single day that ex women calls me and disturbs me. She only inform me about all his Affairs..... Please help me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband seems to have been in a series on relationships...This could be a pattern; a habit, something that needs intervention.
What is your stand in all of this? Are you fine with knowing about all this after marriage?
What is the reason that he hid this from you?
How are you sure that he is not in a relationship with someone else right now?
This is not to frighten you but for you to start taking note of how this could affect your life.

As for the woman who keeps calling you about your husband; you were not a part of their relationship, they did not consult with you before having the child...why should you be involved in that? Tell her to contact him and leave you alone.
I would also caution you that this woman could also be lying as your husband possibly could have ignored her BUT what makes me suspect him is the fact that he kept all this hidden from you.

So, it's time that your husband came clean...Ask and do not rest till you get your answers! You will save yourself from a lot of pain and agony...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1057 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Question by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu, 3 years before marriage I was in a relationship with someone who asked for my hand for marriage and I was impregnated by him but he went away leaving me devastated. This incident is somehow known to my husband after 1.5 years of our marriage. At the same time a girl in his office proposed him knowing that he is married and my husband is getting attached to her. He is always talking to her romantically and justifying his affair from my past mistake and it makes me mentally and physically very weak. He is very rude. How to handle the situation since both our families are involved and are not letting us to get divorced also.

Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I understand that he is hurt but how convenient! Things happen, like the way it happened to you before marriage.

But to use that as an excuse to have an affair is very convenient. He needs to look at the situation for what it is now and work with that.

It’s great that the families are involved. The elders in the family can now act as a good mediator to bring the two of you to the discussion table.

Your husband possibly is hurt from your situation before your marriage.

Keeping these kinds of things can draw a wedge in the marriage. He now needs to recover from that before he can be a husband to you in the marriage.

When he found out, how did you deal with it?

That is very crucial to understand as all his actions are stemming from the fact that the situation is unresolved in the mind, and he feels victimized and turns to another woman to feel some sense of normalcy.

As much as it seems disturbing and inappropriate, the fact that it was hidden from him is disturbing him.

So, work with this and as families let this be handled delicately, so that he begins to trust you all over again.

Till then be patient…

All the best!

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