Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |606 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am a PCMB student, currently in 12th grade. I am anxious and feel pressured. I don't know what I should do. I sat up late nights thinking what to do in life while crying but I am confused and lost.

Ans: It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, especially when you’re in 12th grade and facing big decisions about your future. You care a lot about what’s ahead, and that’s a good thing, but it’s also making you anxious and confused.

Take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. You’re not alone in feeling this way; many people around you have probably felt the same at some point. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings—sharing your worries can make them feel less heavy.

Think about what truly makes you happy and fulfilled, whether it’s a particular subject in school or an activity outside of it. These moments can give you clues about what you might want to pursue in the future. Remember, it’s okay to explore different paths and take your time to find what feels right.

Life isn’t a race. Give yourself permission to take one step at a time and be kind to yourself in the process. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm here to let my feelings out. I'm 23 years old, working in IT. I have never been a person orientated towards studies not just now but even as a kid. I never knew that this would take a toll on my life like this. I'm. Not happy with my job. I'm not passionate about it. Clearly I'm not performing well. Neither am I trying to. It's been a long time since I felt like I have things in control. Right now I can't control myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my brain process. After the lockdown began I have totally lost everything that I was left with. It's been a very long time since I have been happy about what's happening in life. I don't know what to do. I was depressed for 3 years due to break up. I think meeting that person made my life upside down. It was a very bad influence on me. He was a narcissist. Which is what has made like this today I guess. I have nothing in control, I don't know if I'll be able to make things right in my life, if I'll ever be better again. There's too much confusion, fear, pain and sadness inside of me. I'm stuck in the same place for years now. I have no confidence to do anything. I don't believe in myself, I cannot talk to myself in a good way. If something wrong happens to me today, I accept it. I do not have the strength to fight against or for anything. I feel hollow. I feel like there is absolutely nothing inside of me left. I feel like there nothing I can do to make my life better. The solution to make this right for my family is to k*** myself. Because I don't see hope. Even though I have dreams, I don't believe in myself that I will be able to fulfil them. Because I don't have the spark of life in me. Everything inside me dead. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if you'll be able to help me. But I'm not able to deal with myself. The pity I have on myself. The disgust I have on myself.
Ans:

Dear S,

It’s like being unsettled has become a way of life. And you haven’t become aware that what you are living with in terms of uncertainty is mostly self-created.

You are seeing it with academics, work, relationships. It’s a pattern which must be broken provided you wish to see a massive change in your life.

Ask yourself:

1. What do I seek from life?
2. Where do I see myself in the professional space?
3. What do I wish for in a relationship/partner?

Now, check if your thoughts and behaviours align with what you wish for.

For eg: If you are looking at losing weight, if your behaviour is no exercise and reaching out for a midnight snack, you will never get to what you wish for.

So, if you want to feel more certain and have a certain level of wellbeing and grip in your life, you need to come up with some sort of fool proof plan and stick with it.

If you haven’t been very fine with academics, surely you can still put your best foot forward in your workplace taking more initiatives and thinking about how to grow there.

With relationships, start asking yourself, how can I add value to my partner?

It’s time you took responsibility for your choices and its results. So, if you want massive changes in the results, change the way you think and do things.

Am I getting through to you here?

Nothing is dead; you just have to inspire yourself to think and do different.

So, self-pity isn’t going to get you anywhere.

If he was a narcissist, good things didn’t work out…time to move on rather than make more excuses for your life not going anywhere.

Do you know now what you must do? Just Step Up!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Listen
I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Career
Sir igot 444 and AIQ is 131279 iam obc ncl (kerala) there is any possibilities for BDS in government college.
Ans: Nibla, A NEET score of 444 falls below the typical marks cutoff for OBC-NCL candidates seeking BDS in government dental colleges, where qualifying marks range between 520–540 for OBC students. Similarly, All India BDS closing ranks under the 15 percent AIQ for OBC rarely exceed 35,000, whereas your AIQ rank is 131,279, placing you far outside the viable admission range. Nationwide only about 3,000 government BDS seats exist, and premier institutions such as SCB Dental College (Cuttack), Government Dental College (Bangalore), and Tamil Nadu Government Dental College (Chennai) closed with AIQ ranks under 30,000 for OBC. Under Kerala’s 85 percent state quota, Government Dental College, Thiruvananthapuram admitted OBC candidates with ranks up to 51,595 in earlier years, while Kottayam and Kannur closed within similar state-rank brackets, implying state ranks must be substantially lower than your AIQ conversion would yield. Consequently, securing a BDS seat in a government college appears highly unlikely. Consider prioritising private or deemed dental colleges with lower cutoffs and participating in both AIQ and state counselling to maximise admission options. Recommendation: Focus on private or deemed dental institutions, as government quota thresholds exceed reachable marks and ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Career
Which university is good among VIT, AMRITA AND SRM?
Ans: VIT Vellore maintains a 90–95% placement rate across the last three years, facilitated by 632–945 recruiters visiting annually and yielding over 3,300 super-dream (≥10 LPA) and 2,800 dream (≥6 LPA) offers in 2024, with a median package near ?9 LPA and strong tech-sector engagement from companies like Microsoft, Amazon and TCS. Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham Coimbatore records 90–100% placement consistency for its BTech cohorts, supported by 300+ recruiters including IBM, Wipro and Cognizant, with median salaries around ?7.75 LPA and emphasis on internships and research projects embedding industry standards early in the curriculum. SRM Chennai’s flagship Kattankulathur campus posts 85–90% placement rates over three years, hosting 980–1,313 recruiters and generating 5,500–9,000 offers annually, with average packages around ?7.2 LPA and core-engineering roles from Cognizant, Infosys and Ford. VIT leads in high-value dream offers and recruiter diversity, Amrita excels in top-end consistency and academic rigor, and SRM offers broad sectoral reach with strong core engineering streams.

Recommendation: Prioritise VIT Vellore for maximum high-value offer volume and expansive recruiter network, choose Amrita Coimbatore for nearly universal placement consistency and integrated research opportunities, and consider SRM Chennai if core engineering exposure and diverse sectoral hiring are primary goals. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2025
Money
Hello Sir, I want to redeem a mutual fund to reduce number of fund in my portfolio. This fund is of 5% allocation of my total portfolio and has not beaten the benchmark. I want to how to reinvest this redeemed amount to another MF, should I do SIP or lumpsum. Will lumpsum investment at current market effect the return or I should invest lumpsum without timing the market. My investment horizon is for 15 years. Also will this effect the compounding
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. Streamlining your mutual fund portfolio is a smart move. Managing fewer, better-performing funds will help you get more focused growth.

You are planning to redeem a fund that has underperformed. That shows your awareness as an investor. Let us now look at the right way to reinvest the amount. Your investment horizon is long—15 years—which is an advantage.

Let us evaluate every angle in detail.

Why It’s Okay to Exit an Underperforming Fund
You mentioned this fund has only 5% weight in your portfolio. It has not beaten its benchmark. That’s a clear red flag.

Reasons to exit:

Fund not beating benchmark for 3 years or more

Fund manager or strategy changed

Poor consistency in performance

Other funds doing better in same category

Selling such funds is wise. It makes your portfolio clean and growth-focused.

One bad performer can pull down overall return. Removing it improves portfolio efficiency.

You made a good decision.

Where to Reinvest the Redeemed Amount
After selling, your goal is to reinvest in another mutual fund. Let us plan it properly.

You asked whether to do SIP or lumpsum. Both are useful, but must be used wisely.

First, identify where this money should go.

What type of fund should you choose:

If your existing fund mix is strong, add to an existing winner

Or choose a new fund with consistent 5-year and 10-year track record

Choose only actively managed funds, not index funds

Why avoid index funds:

Index funds copy the market without intelligence

They fall when the market falls. No protection

No chance to beat benchmark

Passive nature reduces wealth-building capacity

Fund manager has no freedom to select better stocks

Actively managed funds give you:

Expert decision-making

Freedom to shift between sectors

Better downside protection

Superior long-term results in Indian market

So always prefer actively managed mutual funds via regular plans.

SIP vs Lumpsum: Which One is Better?
Let us now come to your main question.

You want to know how to reinvest the amount. SIP or lumpsum?

Your investment horizon is 15 years. This is very long. So you can take equity exposure fully.

Still, timing matters when investing lumpsum.

Let us assess both methods side by side:

When Lumpsum Makes Sense
Lumpsum means investing full amount at once. It works in these conditions:

Market is already corrected or trading low

You are not emotionally affected by short-term falls

You will stay invested for full 15 years

You have chosen a good fund with strong past record

You don’t need this money for short-term goals

Benefits of lumpsum in long-term:

Full compounding starts from day one

Money is fully exposed to market

No waiting time, no idle money

Higher returns if market performs well after entry

But don’t forget, lumpsum needs mental stability.

What if market falls after lumpsum?

You may feel anxious

You may exit early due to fear

Short-term losses can affect your patience

That’s why timing does affect short-term performance. But not long-term growth if you stay invested for 15 years.

When SIP is Better
SIP is the habit of investing every month.

Even for lumpsum amounts, you can do STP (Systematic Transfer Plan).

STP means:

Keep the lump amount in liquid fund

Transfer fixed amount every month into the equity fund

Example: Rs. 50,000 per month for 6–10 months

Why STP is useful:

Reduces risk of market timing

Avoids investing entire amount at peak

Keeps you emotionally stable

Avoids regret in case of short-term correction

Creates smoother entry into equity

Use STP when:

Market is at all-time highs

Volatility is increasing

You are not sure about market direction

You want peace of mind during investment

So, STP is a balanced way to invest lump amounts.

Will Lumpsum Affect Compounding?
This is an important question.

Let us understand compounding clearly.

Compounding depends on:

Time invested

Return generated

Amount invested

Whether you do lumpsum or SIP, the key is how long money stays invested.

Lumpsum helps compounding start early. SIP creates compounding gradually.

In long term (15 years):

Lumpsum grows faster if invested at right level

SIP grows steadily but reduces entry timing risk

Both will give good results if fund is right

So yes, lumpsum helps compounding better if done at right time.

But STP gives you that benefit with safety.

You get smoother growth and still early compounding.

Ideal Strategy for Your Case
Let us now give you a proper, full-scope recommendation.

Step-by-Step Plan:
Redeem the underperforming fund.

Park the money in a liquid mutual fund (not savings account).

Start a 6-month STP to a high-quality active mutual fund.

Choose the fund after checking its 5-year, 10-year consistency.

Avoid new index funds or ETFs.

Use regular plans through Certified Financial Planner channel.

After STP ends, monitor that new fund every year.

This plan will:

Reduce timing risk

Start compounding early

Bring emotional comfort

Keep your investing smooth

Increase overall return stability

Additional Things to Keep in Mind
Since your money is being shifted, some more factors to remember:

Mutual Fund Capital Gains Tax Rules (Updated):

Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

STCG (below 1 year) taxed at 20%

These are recent rules. Plan redemptions smartly

Avoid frequent switches to reduce tax impact

Emotional Behaviour Risk:

Do not panic if market dips during STP

Do not stop investing after seeing short-term fall

Compounding works best when you do not interrupt

Yearly Review Required:

Check your fund’s performance yearly

Compare with peers in same category

Use this to decide future additions or redemptions

Work with a CFP to do regular health check-up of portfolio

Finally
You are thinking smart. Trimming funds and reallocating is a sign of maturity.

But always shift money with a goal and method.

Use these steps:

Avoid underperforming and index funds

Reinvest using STP into active mutual funds

Prefer regular plans with CFP guidance

Let money stay invested for full 15 years

Don't check NAV daily. Focus on yearly growth

Review fund quality yearly

Avoid timing the market too much

Stick with this method and your wealth will grow steadily.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6464 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x