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Interfaith love: Torn between my parents and my boyfriend. What should I do?

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  |15 Answers  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Aamish Dhingra is a life coach, educationalist and founder of Cocoweave Coaching International, which provides professional training to empower individuals and organisations.
With over seven years of experience in human resources, he specialises in corporate training, life coaching services and team coaching. His expertise lies in solving complex problems, leading innovative projects and delivering impactful solutions that drive growth and transformation.
Aamish completed his BBA (bachelor of business administration) from Amity University and MBA from Jamia Hamdard University, both in Noida.
He holds a PCC (professional certified coach) certification from the International Coaching Federation, USA, and a credentialed practitioner of coaching certification from the International Coach Guild, Australia.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My parents are friendly and supportive as I'm the single child. But , after telling about my interreligious love they hate me, we did everything for you then why don't think of us?...Actually , I love my parents that means to not love someone? I love my boyfriend as well , the problem is religion difference between us, what society say, religion force on future child, etc etc....they even said to choose between two.... I need both my parents and love.... But my parents care about religion... how to convince them?

Ans: You’re in a tough emotional situation where you love both your parents and your partner, but your parents see this as a conflict. Their reaction is driven by deep-seated beliefs about religion, societal expectations, and the future of your family. Right now, they see your love as a threat to their values rather than an expansion of family bonds. Instead of reacting emotionally or feeling trapped, try to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Start by acknowledging their fears instead of dismissing them. Let them express their concerns, and in return, calmly share your perspective. Reassure them that loving someone from another faith doesn’t mean you are abandoning them or your roots. If they worry about society, show them examples of successful interfaith marriages where both partners have managed to respect each other’s traditions. Address the topic of future children with sensitivity—explain that faith can be a personal choice and that raising children with exposure to both religions can be enriching rather than confusing.
Change takes time, and their resistance is likely coming from fear rather than hatred. Continue to express love and gratitude toward them while standing firm in your decision. If possible, involve a family member, religious elder, or counselor they respect, as an external perspective can sometimes help ease their concerns. Stay patient, and remember that acceptance often comes gradually.
Asked on - Feb 20, 2025 | Not Answered yet
I tried involving family members to convince, but their concern is also religion, they want the boy and future kids to convert and follow our religion only. I consulted counsellor , who also did a interfaith marriage(Hindu-Muslim), he also try to confuse me by saying , interfaith marriage gives lot of pain, there is always confusion between choosing religion for any function for the baby, family will be always suffered. I want my parents to be happy. Me and my bf is always there for them. But, they are not ready to hear my words and no one on my side to convince them..

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8310 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Could you tell me the ideal stock quantity for me as I am investing 10k in each stock and I get minimum 30 percent return so I am not happy with reward. FYI my portfolio is of 5 Lacks investing since 2017.
Ans: You have a Rs 5 lakh stock portfolio.
You are investing Rs 10,000 in each stock.
You are getting around 30% returns, but you are not fully happy.

Let me help you with detailed insights.

Appreciating Your Journey So Far

You started investing in 2017, which shows good discipline.

Growing the portfolio with regular Rs 10,000 investments is a smart habit.

Earning 30% returns is not bad, especially in Indian stock markets.

Many investors struggle even to beat inflation in long-term investing.

You deserve appreciation for steady progress and patience.

Understanding Your Concern

You want even better returns than 30%.

You feel Rs 10,000 in each stock is limiting your potential.

You are looking for an ideal number of stocks for higher growth.

Ideal Number of Stocks to Hold

If portfolio is Rs 5 lakh, then having 15 to 20 stocks is healthy.

Less than 10 stocks can make portfolio risky and unstable.

More than 25 stocks will dilute returns and weaken performance.

Around 18 stocks can give you good balance of safety and growth.

Each stock can ideally carry 4% to 7% weight in your portfolio.

Problems of Over-Diversification

Holding too many stocks reduces focus.

Monitoring all stocks becomes difficult.

Even if some stocks do well, overall portfolio may not reflect it.

Returns get pulled down when poor stocks dilute the strong ones.

Problems of Under-Diversification

Too few stocks increase risks sharply.

Bad performance of one stock hits portfolio badly.

Emotional decision making becomes harder.

Volatility can become scary during market falls.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach

Increase your per stock investment slightly to Rs 15,000 to Rs 20,000.

Focus on holding 15 to 20 strong companies across sectors.

Prioritise companies with strong balance sheet and consistent profits.

Look for companies with leadership in their industries.

Reduce churning of stocks; stay invested patiently.

Sector Allocation Guidance

Allocate across banking, FMCG, pharma, IT, auto, and energy sectors.

Avoid over-investing in one sector or theme.

Always maintain sector diversification for stability.

Reviewing Your Return Expectations

Expecting more than 30% return consistently can be risky.

Stock market returns move in cycles.

In good years, 40%-60% returns may happen.

In bad years, even negative returns can occur.

Long-term average return expectation should be around 12%-18%.

Identifying the Real Issue

30% growth is a strong outcome compared to bank FDs and debt funds.

If you feel unhappy, maybe it is because of high expectations.

Managing emotions is key to wealth creation.

Recommended Action Plan

Stick to around 18 focused high-quality stocks.

Increase amount slightly if you find very strong companies.

Focus on strong fundamentals, not just price movements.

Rebalance portfolio once in a year to maintain sector weight.

Invest fresh money slowly when good opportunities arise.

Additional Important Points

Don't take high risks to chase higher returns.

Wealth building is a marathon, not a sprint.

Stay disciplined and trust your process.

Consistency will reward you richly in next 5-10 years.

Final Insights

Holding around 15-20 carefully selected stocks is ideal for you.

Focus more on quality stocks than chasing return numbers.

Growing wealth steadily is more important than chasing quick profits.

Stay invested with a cool mind, and you will achieve great success.

Celebrate your discipline till now and keep improving step-by-step.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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