Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Kanchan Rai |663 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 09, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

I am from OC caste(Vaishyas). My boyfriend is from BC caste(Yadav). We are friends from 10 years and in relation from 8 years. My parents and relatives background is very high level(everyone having 20 crores property and above). So they feel very high status. But my boyfriend dosnt have high status and financially low than us. So my parents are not at all accepting. Another reason is we are veg and they are non veg, and another reason is he lost his mother due to corona. So we are fighting since 2 years, but my parents are not accepting and they are seeing matches for us. we are unable to forget each other. I am facing anxiety attacks and panic attacks. How do I come out of this mam?

Ans: First, let’s separate two things: your relationship and your health. Even before making a final decision, your mental well-being needs urgent care. Panic attacks and anxiety can get worse if you keep bottling up your emotions and living under constant pressure. I strongly suggest you reach out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with coping tools like breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and safe space to express yourself. This is not weakness — this is strength to take care of yourself so you can think clearly.
Now about the relationship. You love him, and he loves you, but long-term marriage requires more than love; it also requires both partners to handle family resistance, cultural differences, and financial gaps together. Ask yourself: is he emotionally strong, committed, and capable of building a future with you despite the inequality in background? Is he willing to patiently win over your family or at least show them that he can stand as your equal through his actions, not just words?
On the other hand, look at your family — their resistance comes from social image and status, not necessarily from who he is as a person. That means convincing them will take time, proof of his capability, and your consistent stand. But you also need to prepare yourself: what if they never agree? Can you live with the consequences of going against them, given how high your family’s expectations are?
Right now, you don’t need to take a rushed decision. What you need is to stabilize your health, strengthen your own clarity, and have honest talks with your boyfriend about what real steps he is ready to take for the future. You don’t have to “come out” of the relationship overnight, but you do need to come out of the panic mode first.