
Hello Guru. I am a 35 Year old Female looking for marriage prospects.. I am talking to a guy past 3 months when the numbers were exchanged through parents. We have common interests and most of the non negotiables aspects also felt good so I have been positive about this alliance. However the concern with this guy is, he doesnt show much interest himself to start conversation or ask for call or texts me. Although he can see my instagram profile he said he just checked 1 or 2 posts. So not having interest or curiosity to know the person seems odd to me. I expect that he asks me about me ,my hobbies , family , aspirations, he will ask back only when I initiate and ask him the same question. Is this a point to consider ? Is this a indication of a person being full of themselves , will he have space and interest for a partner and her preferences ? He says he is quite flexible and friendly and seems his mother is also same. She spoke to my mom but just talking about their stuff and kind of boasting but not having any consideration to ask my mom about us or our family. He was in my city for 1.5 months but no effort to meet me, only once we met as a formality on the last day before he was leaving. Same with calls, in span of 3 months we hardly spoke for 4-5 times when I asked for. Through his mother got to know that they are interested to go forward and he likes me but I am not feeling doubtful with the above points. Please give me some suggestion on how to understand this kind of personality and whether I should consider confronting the same ? If I confront maybe he will start doing this, but is that worth ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it can be very confusing, especially while seeking a life partner. It would be unfair to directly say that this guy seems uninterested and you should reject him. It would be unfair because we don’t know if he has always been this way or if he is this way only with you. But what’s completely fair is your doubt. You are right to feel worried and yes, it is not the ideal response from a potential partner. If your gut says something is wrong, please tread very carefully. You do not owe them anything, or you have not given your word; you still have ample time to take it slow and reconsider if needed. But before that, I’d say it can be worth having a clear conversation with the guy. Ask him directly if he isn’t interested in the alliance and if he says he is, then you can clarify why he never asks a single thing about you. After all is said and done, if his reasonings satisfy you, consider going ahead. But until then, don’t say yes.
Also, if behavior along with his family’s behavior is too odd, and you don’t want to put so much effort into clearing things out, you can distance yourself from this match. Again, you do not owe them anything. But it would be the decent thing to at least have one talk before doing so.
Hope this helps