Hi I have been married to my college mate for more than 11 years now with a girl child of 8+ years.
Wife and I were good friend for 2 years followed by live in for 4 years before we got married. We got into marriage unprepared financially and mentally.
My wife is a great responsible caring person -- way more mature than I am. I am a bit childish and emotional, very talkative and expressive person.
When I travelled to another city after 5 years of marriage for higher studies, I got involved with another girl. We were very much alike in terms of personalities. We could talk endlessly and were very compatible in all sense. We even got physical and felt like we’d never had this experience before. The thing is she too was recently married to another person quite like my wife.
We tried to get separated from our previous relationships but the girl’s family couldn't bear the family pressure and her husband though good otherwise took this on his ego.
I waited for 3 years for her to come out.
In the mean time I was almost on the verge of breaking my marriage because whatever connection I had with my wife had almost come down to negligible.
That girl too had to be in that forcible relationship with no connection at all and had to adopt a child to survive the dead relationship.
I got into a messy situation too -- a marriage with no connection but a lovely child.
I have a connection with that girl but without living together.
I don’t know if I can start a new life and if I do, how much I will be involved with it. Absolutely messed up emotionally and physically. Although my wife and I are financially stable as both of us are officers.
That girl too is a medical practitioner but I have no idea if she will ever be able to come out. Plz tell me what to do.
I prayed a lot, read lots of books, tried meditation, counselling, still I am in the middle of nowhere.

Dear Anu, I don’t know how to start. My Age is 40. This is my second marriage. My first marriage was arranged and it lasted 6 months.  As I was in love we got divorced. We have one son who is 10 years old. Now the issue is my second wife and I have both betrayed each other. I caught her first having a deep love affair with her yoga friend. That fellow is married and we know his wife and daughter. She has started him when she was training for yoga and later they both started classes together. Meanwhile, I am in a relationship with a colleague. Now she is in a different organization. Although she has stopped it, I continue to chat with her. We are both struggling to come to a decision since last 9 months but nothing is working out. We both confessed; she is guilty, I am not. We've had a very rough time. Now she is at her mother’s home. My problem is that I can neither let her go nor forget her. She wants her freedom as earlier but I am not ready. So I am sad while I continue to torture her by asking past questions. I am worried more about my son. I am stuck so I end up bullying her. Please advice. I want to move on. I don’t want to be in relationship but i am afraid of taking decision. Sometime I feel miserable.

I'M 40 years old man, i have had troubled childhood. I faced abuse from my elder brother who later on developed mental health issues whiich broughg lot of stress to the family. I worked very hard to achieve reasonable professional success but my personal life has been very difficult. I got married with lot of difficulty despite being well placed professionally and decent looks. It was an arranged marriage but things went bad after a year. I caught my wife having an affair with her ex but i fogave her for the sake of myndaugher who was just 1 year old then. She keept on having flings with gym instructor and later on her colleagues which i dont have any proof of. She would humilate me in front of my maid driver and other people. But i wanted ti save my marriage for the sake of my daughter who was only 4-5 years old then. Finally she started asking me for divorce after every trivial fights. Fed up i finally agreed and we separated in 2021 November. During that time i came in contact with my school friend. She proposed to me during our school days but due to stress at home and other issues i said no but i always liked her. When we started talking around December 2021 and we realized we still love each other after 20 years. But problem was though i was divorced she was still married and she is from a different religion. She is trying hard to get separated from her husband but her family being very conservative is not allowing her to do so. I'm stuck with her emotionally. Now my ex-wife has started approaching me for reconciliation. Im totally confused now what should i do? Should i wait for my friend knowing that chances are very slim that her family would leave her. Or should i patch up with my exwife for the sake of my daughter. I dont feel any emotional connection with my exwife now as she was never nice to me. But my parents are telling me to go for patch up. They are nkt aware about my school friend and i doubt they would approve her due to religious beliefs. Pls guide me I'm totally confused. Thanks A confused Homo Sapiens

Hi. I am 41 year male married since last 15 years. I have a 8 year old daughter. My relationship with my wife isn't great as far as I am concerned. She was busy with her job and raising our daughter and while doing so could not focus much on our relationship. Our physical interaction almost stopped after our child birth and since last 5 years we never had intercourse. I engaged myself in casual relationship with few colleagues of mine and life was going on like that. But in 2021 , I engaged myself with another female colleague of mine and with her , I feel like what I have never ever felt with any other woman. I can't let her go. I long to meet her. I feel sad when she is away. And it's been 3 years. She loves me very much and I love her too. My wife got a wind of it and now she is trying hard to make up for the lost time and efforts. My wife loves me too. I don't want to separate from her because though she wasn't a great partner but she did manage our house and daughter diligently. Moreover, I don't want my daughter suffer too. She deserves both her parents. So, I discussed this with my wife and told her that , I believe we can't be a great couple but we can at least be good parents. Allow me to spend some time with my female colleague and let's continue as we have been doing since last decade. But she is not accepting this. And I can't let my colleague go. I do love her. She also loves me and is not inclined towards settling with me as she is married too and has 2 kids. Kindly suggest what to do.

Hi Anu, I am 47 year old. I have 2 kids one is in adolescent in age and other is 8 y.o. I and my wife are very much comfort and enjoy sex life since inception of our marriage. But, from last 7 years, i am in relation with a beautiful girl, whom i met as a sex worker, when she was 24. Her only source of income is her work (i.e., sex work). She is astonishingly beautiful. I went mad after since the day i met her. thought i could not do sex at first time, i did it in the next time and till now we mated just 7 times. She is epilepsy patient and she is very serious about her family. She has to look after her mother, a younger sister who is studying Law and two of her sister's kids ( her sister died ). She asks me for help whenever she falls short of money. She went to dubai in 2018, and continued her work there. I asked her to leave her job and assured a good income source and a respectful life. She hesitated to concur on my plan. The whole issue is known to my wife. She married an Indian residing in Dubai recently but for her bad luck, he is untraceable from 2 monhts in a war proned country. Now, she asked my help again after 8 months. we both were not in touch in these days. I lent her my helping hand again and expressed if she would have married me, i would have kept her happy. She loves me a lot, but since i am a married man, she does not want to create problem in my married life. I can convince my wife about her, but she (girlfriend) is not ready for it for the fear of my wife. I just can't imagine my life without her. that much i love her. I don't wish to destroy her married life either. If she gets her husband back, i will be happy, but i will be living in her memory forever, as i just cannot expect my life without her. I need your suggestion. whether to come out of her relation or continue if her hubby misses forever.