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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1812 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi. I am 41 year male married since last 15 years. I have a 8 year old daughter. My relationship with my wife isn't great as far as I am concerned. She was busy with her job and raising our daughter and while doing so could not focus much on our relationship. Our physical interaction almost stopped after our child birth and since last 5 years we never had intercourse. I engaged myself in casual relationship with few colleagues of mine and life was going on like that. But in 2021 , I engaged myself with another female colleague of mine and with her , I feel like what I have never ever felt with any other woman. I can't let her go. I long to meet her. I feel sad when she is away. And it's been 3 years. She loves me very much and I love her too. My wife got a wind of it and now she is trying hard to make up for the lost time and efforts. My wife loves me too. I don't want to separate from her because though she wasn't a great partner but she did manage our house and daughter diligently. Moreover, I don't want my daughter suffer too. She deserves both her parents. So, I discussed this with my wife and told her that , I believe we can't be a great couple but we can at least be good parents. Allow me to spend some time with my female colleague and let's continue as we have been doing since last decade. But she is not accepting this. And I can't let my colleague go. I do love her. She also loves me and is not inclined towards settling with me as she is married too and has 2 kids. Kindly suggest what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is some sort of trend of stepping out of marriage when physical needs are not met within the marriage. It's the easiest way out!
Why is it so hard to figure out what is happening when one of the partners in the marriage is not interested in intimacy?
Why doesn't the other partner try to understand, accept and work with the partner who is struggling through something?
And this goes for the husband and wife and partners within a relationship.

It isn't something written in stone that sex 'MUST' be a part of marriage BUT it certainly is a pillar to creating a stronger relationship. So, why assume and go searching for it? Then you will have all reasons to justify why you did it and how your partner is responsible for it.
Now, you are in a soup with two women vying for your time and attention. And with children involved, things only get complicated. Yes, your wife feels that it his her right to be in your life and your question is: where was she all these years? My question is: why did you stop trying all these years to put things together?

My suggestion: As much as you want to be in the other lady's life, she is clear that she does not want to settle with you. You are also clear that you don't want to separate from your wife but you want her to accept the other lady. Doesn't it seem highly impractical to you?

Before you end up hurting someone or yourself, do what's right for everyone and especially the children. They don't deserve a set of parents that is confused. Good people who come into our lives can end up becoming good friends as well.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1812 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi I have been married to my college mate for more than 11 years now with a girl child of 8+ years.Wife and I were good friend for 2 years followed by live in for 4 years before we got married. We got into marriage unprepared financially and mentally.My wife is a great responsible caring person -- way more mature than I am. I am a bit childish and emotional, very talkative and expressive person.When I travelled to another city after 5 years of marriage for higher studies, I got involved with another girl. We were very much alike in terms of personalities. We could talk endlessly and were very compatible in all sense. We even got physical and felt like we’d never had this experience before. The thing is she too was recently married to another person quite like my wife.We tried to get separated from our previous relationships but the girl’s family couldn't bear the family pressure and her husband though good otherwise took this on his ego.I waited for 3 years for her to come out.In the mean time I was almost on the verge of breaking my marriage because whatever connection I had with my wife had almost come down to negligible.That girl too had to be in that forcible relationship with no connection at all and had to adopt a child to survive the dead relationship.I got into a messy situation too -- a marriage with no connection but a lovely child.I have a connection with that girl but without living together.I don’t know if I can start a new life and if I do, how much I will be involved with it. Absolutely messed up emotionally and physically. Although my wife and I are financially stable as both of us are officers.That girl too is a medical practitioner but I have no idea if she will ever be able to come out. Plz tell me what to do.I prayed a lot, read lots of books, tried meditation, counselling, still I am in the middle of nowhere.
Ans:

Dear HK,

Why exactly did you feel the need to get into a relationship with another person?

Did your current relationship lack anything that the other relationship was fulfilling you with?

How exactly did the relationship with your wife deteriorate? Did the two of you make efforts to communicate enough in that long distance relationship?

How do you say your marriage is one without connection? How did you lose that connection?

Now, do you plan on continuing in your marriage or move on? If you have decided to move on, isn’t it time for you to come out to your wife and share what has happened?

These questions are possibly ones that are very difficult to face and answer as they bring out the truth; but they will help you get a better grasp of the situation.

It’s nice to live an alternate reality life for some time and relish the goodness but coming back to your real life that holds the ‘real you’ and your responsibilities isn’t something that can be ignored any longer. So, as much as you feel that you are in the middle of nowhere, I see no mention of what your wife must be feeling right at this very moment.

It would help to put things in perspective and talk this out as adults, (and yes, you do owe her that) so that both of you can come to an amicable decision to live more peacefully.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1812 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

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Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm a 39 year old man, married and having a daughter. It was an arranged marriage. We started off okay, with some good level of romance initially but plateaued later. First the emotional connect dipped, then her trust dipped and eventually physical intimacy dipped. After childbirth, our sex life hit a low and in past 5 years it has been almost a sexless marriage. I had not been a perfect partner but very much willing to fix my mistakes (I haven't cheated on her, ever). But my wife has been aloof with near zero communication. I never interfered in her independence of any form. I always trusted her but I never felt trusted/wanted/loved. She refuses to have meaningful deep conversations. We do have a lot of financial stress. We considered divorce about 5 years ago but didn't because of our daughter. Last year, I met a colleague and I connected emotionally well with her. I do consider her a good friend but my family (I stay with my parents) think I'm in an affair. This new friend also considers me her friend. Now my wife seems a little jealous of my friend, which is a good sign that there is still some hope to salvage this marriage. People have advised me both ways - to divorce and not to. I really want a happy life for myself and my daughter. I am confused - what should I do?
Ans: Dear JK, I can only imagine the stresses of the situation that you and your wife are in. But it takes two people to make a marriage.

And it would be worthwhile for both of you to understand that childbirth is a very transformative experience for entire family especially the new mother and the baby.

It is of utmost relevance here for them to have the support of the father and the family.

The emotional and physical needs of the man maybe ignored here but do know that your wife/ mother doesn’t do this as a well-thought idea but because her hormones dictate her mind and body.

But of course, if this has been something that has been going on for a while now even after a year of childbirth, it would be wise to have an open communication channel where the two of you understand each other’s needs and see how best as a couple you can fulfil them.

It is normal for a human to seek validation and attention from the external when his needs are not fulfilled at home. But the complications that can arise from that are something that you are well aware of.

You are an adult and you know what’s best for you and your family.

Having said this, if the choice is to make the marriage work, please don’t engage in finger pointing and instead think of ways to spice up your relationship.

Find someone to care for your child while you and your wife take a holiday.

If this also doesn’t work, I would suggest couples marital therapy where a professional may guide you to rebuilding your marriage.

Happy rebuilding and it’s worth working at it!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am happily married man of age 51 years having daughter of 20 years .recently i got normal friendship with a female colleague we discuss usually our office, children and health .Recently she was under depression and i counseled her a lot and she got better. My wife got to know about this through my daughter who checked my phone , my wife got anxious thinking i am having affair with her ,as she being widow .My wife charcter assanated me when there is no such thing in between me and my colleague .i am depressed please advise
Ans: It’s understandable that you're feeling hurt and frustrated, especially since your intentions were pure and your wife’s reaction came from a place of misunderstanding. In situations like this, transparency and communication are key to mending the trust that’s been shaken.

First, it's important to have a calm, honest conversation with your wife. Explain the nature of your friendship with your colleague, emphasizing that it was based on helping her through a difficult time and nothing more. Be open about why you supported your colleague and reassure your wife that there is no romantic involvement. Acknowledge her feelings, as it’s clear she is reacting out of fear and concern for your relationship.

Your daughter’s involvement complicates the situation, but it can also be an opportunity to show both your wife and daughter that there’s nothing to hide. Let them see your messages if that reassures them, and express that your commitment to your family is unwavering.

Additionally, emphasize that you understand why your wife may have felt uneasy, especially since the colleague is a widow. Sometimes, just being heard and understood can help ease her anxiety. Reassure her that your focus is on your family and that you’re willing to make any adjustments necessary to rebuild her trust.

If the situation continues to cause tension, consider seeking professional counseling as a couple. A therapist can help mediate the conversation and provide tools for rebuilding trust and communication in a healthy way. By showing your commitment to resolving the issue and prioritizing your family, you can work through this misunderstanding together.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |217 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2025
Relationship
I am 46 years old male married for the past 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly possessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my colleague who is a widow and 25 years of age with a seven years daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. Then, I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not much as in the earlier section. Now, I am in love with that widow. I told this to my wife also but not told about this to that widow. After hearing this my wife was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl. But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, I am keeping whats app statuses which are visible only to her. When ever I put up sad and love break up messages only that time she will respond by keeping whatsapp status otherwise she will be neutral. Whenever, I called her she replied and we spoke casually. Now, she also knows that I am loving her but not responding. I have deleted her mobile number but I remember it. Daily after leaving the house and before reaching the house I delete the number. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.
Ans: Time heals all wounds. And in this case, you definitely should let it. The girl is half your age and not interested in you. Be practical and value what you have — a wonderful family and loving wife who continues to tolerate you even after you confessed falling for someone else! This is not love my dear, it’s just a midlife crisis — an infatuation, nothing more.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12550 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Sep 04, 2026

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11454 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 03, 2026

Money
HI I am 47 years old with Monthly expenses of Rs 40000 , i would like to know how much retirement corpus would i require at age of 60 so that it lasts till age 85 also the opening Retirement corpus at 60 and closing Corpus at 85 should almost be same , as i would like to transfer it yo me daughter, i would like to know should i factor 8% food inflation as that will be major expense factor also factor 6% intrest on investment. Whats is the inflation rate should i assume , in which mutual fund should i invest for Rs 50000 monthly investment. How much money should i park for medical expenses or emergency
Ans: You have started this planning at a good age. With 13 years left, you have useful time to build the corpus.

» Your retirement target

– You are currently 47 years old.

– Your present monthly expense is Rs.40,000.

– You plan to retire at age 60.

– You want the corpus to support you until age 85.

– You also want the corpus to remain almost intact.

– This is a higher target than normal retirement planning.

– Your aim is also to pass the corpus to your daughter.

» Inflation assumption

– I would not use 8% food inflation for the entire retirement budget.

– Food is only one part of your total expenses.

– Medical, housing, travel and other costs behave differently.

– For long-term planning, 6% overall inflation is a reasonable assumption.

– However, medical inflation can be higher than general inflation.

– So, keep a separate medical reserve.

» Your expense at age 60

– Your present Rs.40,000 monthly expense will rise substantially by age 60.

– At 6% inflation, it can become roughly Rs.85,000 monthly.

– This should be your starting retirement expense.

– You should review this estimate again around age 58.

» Retirement corpus required

– You have given an important condition.

– You want the corpus at 85 to remain almost equal.

– Therefore, a normal retirement corpus calculation is not enough.

– Assuming only 6% investment return creates a difficult situation.

– Your withdrawal also rises with inflation.

– If return and inflation are both around 6%, preservation becomes difficult.

– Under those assumptions, I would target around Rs.3.15 crore at age 60.

– This is an approximate planning figure.

– It is not a guaranteed required amount.

– A higher return assumption can reduce the required starting corpus.

– But I would not depend on high returns for retirement planning.

» Why Rs.3.15 crore is a safer target

– Your first retirement-year expense could be around Rs.85,000 monthly.

– Expenses would then rise every year.

– You also want money remaining at age 85.

– Therefore, the corpus must support withdrawals and continue growing.

– Rs.3.15 crore gives you a better starting target.

– Still, market returns will not come evenly every year.

– Hence, actual results can differ materially.

» Your Rs.50,000 monthly investment

– Rs.50,000 monthly is a good starting contribution.

– However, it may not be enough by itself for Rs.3.15 crore.

– You have 13 years before retirement.

– Therefore, annual increases in your investment are very important.

– Try increasing the monthly investment whenever your income rises.

– Even a gradual increase can make a major difference.

– Existing savings, PF, gratuity and other retirement benefits can also help.

» Mutual fund strategy

– Do not put the entire Rs.50,000 into one mutual fund.

– At your age, you still have a long investment period.

– A diversified actively managed equity portfolio can be considered.

– You can use large-cap oriented funds for the core portion.

– A flexi-cap oriented fund can provide wider diversification.

– A limited mid-cap allocation can add growth potential.

– Avoid excessive small-cap exposure for retirement money.

– Your portfolio should gradually become safer after age 55.

» Suggested structure for Rs.50,000 monthly

– Rs.20,000 in a diversified flexi-cap oriented fund.

– Rs.15,000 in a large-cap oriented actively managed fund.

– Rs.10,000 in a mid-cap oriented fund.

– Rs.5,000 in a balanced or equity-oriented hybrid fund.

– This is only a starting structure.

– Your existing investments should be checked before finalising this allocation.

» Why actively managed funds can help

– Active fund managers can change portfolios based on market conditions.

– They can reduce exposure to weaker companies.

– They can also identify changing business opportunities.

– This flexibility can be useful over a 13-year period.

– However, fund selection and monitoring remain important.

– Past performance alone should never decide fund selection.

» Emergency fund

– Keep at least 9 to 12 months of household expenses separately.

– For you, I would initially target around Rs.5 lakh.

– Keep this money in highly liquid and low-risk avenues.

– Do not count your equity mutual funds as emergency money.

– This reserve should not be used for routine investing.

» Medical reserve

– Medical expenses need separate planning.

– Do not depend only on your normal retirement corpus.

– Build a dedicated medical reserve before retirement.

– I would initially target Rs.10-15 lakh as a separate reserve.

– This should be reviewed closer to age 60.

– Your health insurance coverage should also be reviewed regularly.

– Medical inflation can be much higher than normal inflation.

» Protecting the corpus after age 60

– This is perhaps the most important part of your plan.

– Do not keep the entire retirement corpus in equity.

– Keep several years of expenses in safer investments.

– Keep the remaining portion invested for long-term growth.

– This can reduce the need to sell equity during market falls.

– Rebalance the portfolio periodically.

» Your daughter and inheritance goal

– Your objective is very clear.

– You want to enjoy retirement and still leave money behind.

– This requires controlled withdrawals.

– Avoid treating the entire corpus as spending money.

– Maintain a separate inheritance mindset.

– Estate planning should also be completed before retirement.

– Nominees should be updated across investments and accounts.

– A proper Will can make the transfer much easier.

» One important improvement

– Do not wait until age 60 to reach the target.

– Start building the retirement corpus aggressively now.

– Increase your Rs.50,000 SIP every year.

– Any bonus or additional income can partly go towards retirement.

– At around age 55, reassess the entire retirement plan.

– At age 58, prepare the final retirement-income strategy.

» Final Insights

– Your Rs.3.15 crore target at age 60 is a useful planning benchmark.

– This assumes around 6% return and 6% inflation.

– It also considers your wish to retain the corpus at 85.

– I would not use 8% food inflation for all expenses.

– Use 6% general inflation for initial planning.

– Keep medical expenses separately because they can rise faster.

– Rs.50,000 monthly investing is a good beginning.

– Increasing this SIP every year is more important.

– Your investment strategy should become safer near retirement.

– The goal is not just Rs.3.15 crore.

– The real goal is sustainable income plus a meaningful inheritance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11454 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 03, 2026

Money
Ant thing we can purchase from market by knowing the rate even for safety pin. You can purchase from anywhere in indie online the noted prices for share. Why the MF units are not possible to buy by seeing the prize or why it should not be online varying price for day. Not showing the price, Asset management can cheat the customer. SEBI is ineffective for controlling this cheating
Ans: Your question is very practical. The difference comes from how shares and mutual funds are structured.

» Why share prices are visible instantly

– A share is traded directly between buyers and sellers on a stock exchange.

– The exchange matches buy and sell orders continuously.

– Therefore, you can see the latest traded price.

– You can place an order at that displayed market price.

– The price can change many times during the day.

» Why mutual funds work differently

– A mutual fund unit is not traded like an ordinary share.

– You buy or redeem units from the mutual fund.

– The fund collects money from many investors.

– It then invests that money in securities.

– The value of all those investments changes during the day.

– The fund calculates its Net Asset Value, called NAV.

– NAV represents the value of one mutual fund unit.

– NAV is normally calculated after the market closes.

– Therefore, there is no continuously traded MF unit price.

» This does not mean the price is hidden

– Mutual fund NAVs are publicly available.

– The NAV is disclosed for every business day.

– Your transaction also receives units based on applicable NAV rules.

– The applicable NAV depends on transaction timing and fund realisation rules.

– Therefore, the NAV is not controlled by an individual agent.

» Why you cannot buy at the displayed NAV

– Suppose today's NAV is Rs.100.

– You cannot simply place an order at Rs.100.

– The final applicable NAV depends on the transaction rules.

– The fund must also receive the required money.

– This prevents investors from knowing the exact NAV beforehand.

– It also ensures fair treatment among all investors.

» Can an AMC cheat by changing NAV?

– An AMC cannot simply choose an arbitrary NAV.

– NAV is based on the value of underlying investments.

– Listed securities generally use market-based prices for valuation.

– Other securities follow prescribed valuation methods.

– Fund accounting and valuation processes are subject to regulatory requirements.

– There are also audits, trustees and regulatory oversight.

– So, the system has several checks.

» Your concern about transparency is still important

– Investors should clearly see the NAV and transaction details.

– They should also receive confirmation of their units.

– You can independently check the NAV against official disclosures.

– Your account statement should show units, NAV and transaction dates.

– Any unexplained difference should be questioned immediately.

» Where investors sometimes get confused

– The NAV seen on an app is not always your transaction NAV.

– The displayed NAV may belong to the previous business day.

– Your purchase may receive the next applicable NAV.

– This depends on transaction timing and applicable rules.

– Bank realisation can also affect the applicable NAV.

– This can make the transaction appear different from your expectation.

» Why a share and MF cannot have identical pricing

– A share represents ownership in one company.

– An MF unit represents a proportionate interest in a portfolio.

– The portfolio may contain hundreds of securities.

– Its value must first be calculated.

– The unit NAV is then determined.

– Hence, MF pricing naturally works differently from stock exchange pricing.

» What would improve your confidence

– Always check the official NAV after the business day.

– Compare it with your transaction statement.

– Check the number of units allotted.

– Check the transaction date and applicable NAV date.

– Keep your account statements safely.

– Raise a written complaint if figures do not match.

– Escalate the matter if the AMC does not resolve it.

» Final Insights

– Your demand for better transparency is quite reasonable.

– However, absence of intraday MF pricing does not itself mean cheating.

– Shares and mutual funds have fundamentally different transaction mechanisms.

– Mutual fund NAV is calculated from the underlying portfolio value.

– The important point is whether the disclosed NAV is correctly calculated.

– If you find a specific mismatch, preserve the transaction evidence.

– Then the issue can be examined much more precisely.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11454 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 03, 2026

Money
Hi, I am presently working in CPSU and having 2.5 years remaining in my supperannuation. I have a in hand salary of Rs.1.3 Lac per month (after deduction of necessary contribution in PF, VPF and deduction of tentative monthly income tax). In addition to this, I had invested a sum of Rs.1.4 Cr in a HUDA property in Faridabad which is now around 6 Cr. I am alos getting a monthly pension ofRs. 21000/- (without D.A. component) per month from my parent department as I had submitted Technical Resignation from Govt. Service (MoR) and took permanent absorption in CPSU. I am also getting monthly rental income from a flat @Rs.20000/- per month. I have invested Rs. 60000 in mutual funds and Rs.5.5 Lacs in shares. My wife was also a Haryana Govt. Educationist (govt. job) and just superannuated from her job on 31.08.2026. She will be getting a monthly pension of Rs.75000/- per month in addition to her other retirement benefits. She also earns a monthly rental income from our parental house @8000/- per month. We both are covered under medical schemes of Haryana Govt. and me from MoR. My question is I want to purchase or built a house in GGN on around 200 sq. yd. (approx) plot and live there. Kindly guide me about our future on my email which is alredy provided please.
Ans: You have built a very strong financial base. Your retirement income also looks encouraging. The main decision is how much to spend on the Gurugram house.

» Your present financial position

– You have around 2.5 years of employment remaining.

– Your present take-home salary is around Rs.1.30 lakh monthly.

– You receive pension income of around Rs.21,000 monthly.

– You receive rental income of around Rs.20,000 monthly.

– Your wife has recently retired from Haryana Government service.

– Her expected pension is around Rs.75,000 monthly.

– She also receives rental income of around Rs.8,000 monthly.

– Your Faridabad property has appreciated substantially.

– Its present value is around Rs.6 crore.

– You also have mutual funds and shares.

– Your medical coverage through government schemes is another positive.

Overall, your retirement cash flow appears quite comfortable.

» The Gurugram house decision

– Buying or constructing your own house can be reasonable.

– This is different from buying property purely as an investment.

– You want to actually live there after retirement.

– Therefore, emotional and lifestyle factors are also important.

– Gurugram can provide good connectivity and healthcare facilities.

– However, avoid using the entire Rs.6 crore property value for construction.

– Your retirement security should remain the first priority.

» Set a maximum house budget

– Decide the total budget before selecting the plot.

– Include plot cost, construction cost and registration expenses.

– Also include interiors, furniture and other initial expenses.

– Keep a separate amount for future maintenance.

– I would avoid stretching the budget simply for a larger house.

– A comfortable house is enough for retirement years.

– Your retirement corpus should continue growing alongside the house purchase.

» How to fund the house

– Your employment income continues for another 2.5 years.

– Your wife's pension has already started.

– Your own pension also provides continuing cash flow.

– Rental income gives another stable monthly support.

– This reduces pressure on your investment portfolio.

– Ideally, use available surplus income for part of construction.

– Avoid selling the entire Faridabad property only for convenience.

– Also avoid taking a large loan close to retirement.

» What about the Faridabad property?

– This requires a separate strategic decision.

– You have created significant wealth through this property.

– However, it now represents a very large asset concentration.

– After retirement, this concentration deserves careful review.

– You may eventually consider monetising part of this asset.

– Any sale decision must consider capital gains and taxation.

– The money can then support retirement investments.

– Do not sell merely because Gurugram property prices look attractive.

» Retirement income planning

– Your combined monthly pension income should form the core income.

– Rental income provides an additional income stream.

– Your retirement corpus should ideally remain partly invested for growth.

– Keep a separate reserve for several years of regular expenses.

– This avoids selling investments during a market correction.

– Your post-retirement portfolio should become more balanced.

– Equity exposure can continue, but should match your risk capacity.

» Your mutual funds and shares

– Your equity investments currently appear relatively small.

– This is not necessarily a problem.

– Your property exposure is already quite substantial.

– Therefore, future financial investments can improve diversification.

– Consider gradually building a diversified mutual fund portfolio.

– Prefer actively managed funds suitable for your risk profile.

– Avoid investing large amounts suddenly after retirement.

– Review the portfolio at least once every year.

» Medical and emergency planning

– Your government medical coverage is a major support.

– Still, maintain a separate medical emergency reserve.

– Government coverage may have certain rules and limitations.

– Keep adequate liquidity for expenses not covered by the schemes.

– Also review whether your existing medical benefits continue after retirement.

– This should be confirmed before your retirement date.

» Before buying the 200 sq. yard plot

– Check the title and ownership documents carefully.

– Verify the approved land use and building permissions.

– Check road width and access to the property.

– Verify electricity, water and sewerage availability.

– Check local development and construction restrictions.

– Take independent legal verification before paying a major amount.

– For construction, obtain a realistic detailed cost estimate.

» A better retirement structure

– Keep your retirement house budget within a comfortable limit.

– Keep sufficient financial assets outside the property.

– Maintain adequate emergency liquidity.

– Continue some equity exposure for long-term inflation protection.

– Maintain suitable fixed-income investments for near-term requirements.

– Keep your pension and rental income for regular expenses.

– Use investment withdrawals only when genuinely required.

» One important point

– Your property wealth is excellent, but it is not regular income.

– Retirement planning should therefore focus on cash-flow sustainability.

– The new house will also become an illiquid asset.

– Hence, avoid having most of your wealth in properties.

– You already have a strong starting position for retirement.

– The next 2.5 years can be used very effectively.

– This period should focus on strengthening liquidity and retirement investments.

» Final Insights

– Yes, purchasing a Gurugram house can be financially possible for you.

– I would not reject the idea merely because retirement is near.

– But the house should be planned around your retirement finances.

– Do not allow the house to consume your retirement security.

– Your pensions and rental income provide a strong recurring income base.

– Your Faridabad property provides substantial financial flexibility.

– Your next step should be a complete retirement cash-flow plan.

– That plan should decide the maximum safe house budget first.

– Then decide whether to buy the plot or construct the house.

– With proper planning, you can enjoy the new home without financial stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11454 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2026
Money
From the Past 10 Years ,I am Holding the REGULAR MF -Frankline ELSS,ICICI Value Discovery Fund,HDFC Mid cap .Since this fund are perfoming well but my Concernt is my Return is Regulary Eaten away by the Commision by MF Agest since its a Regular.I feel in long term for next 10-15 years , I am Unnecassary Dimising my Return due to Commision. What can i Do Now to save the Commision, what best strategy can i use to Switch the Fund from R to Direct type.
Ans: » Your concern is valid

You have already held these investments for around 10 years.
Long-term discipline is a major strength in your portfolio.
Your concern about regular-plan costs is also reasonable.
However, switching blindly to direct plans may not improve your outcome.

» First, understand the commission

Regular plans include distribution expenses within their expense ratio.
This cost indirectly reduces the returns earned by investors.
The cost continues as long as you remain invested.
Direct plans have lower expenses because distribution costs are absent.
Therefore, direct plans can have a cost advantage over long periods.

» But regular plans provide useful services

A good MFD provides portfolio monitoring and transaction support.
They can help during market corrections and difficult periods.
They can also help maintain proper asset allocation.
Tax-related transaction planning can also be supported.
Behavioural mistakes can be reduced through proper guidance.
These services can be valuable during a 10-15 year journey.
So, the commission should be viewed against services received.

» Direct plan has some disadvantages

You must monitor the portfolio yourself.
You must decide when to rebalance your investments.
You must assess fund performance independently.
You must handle purchase, redemption and switch decisions.
Tax implications also need your attention.
Most importantly, you must avoid emotional decisions during market falls.
Lower cost alone does not guarantee better investor returns.

» Do not switch immediately

Your existing funds have already created substantial long-term capital gains.
Moving from regular to direct is not always a simple switch.
A switch is generally treated as a redemption and fresh purchase.
This can create capital gains tax consequences.
Exit loads may also apply in some situations.
Therefore, first calculate the tax and transaction impact.
Then compare that cost with future expense savings.

» A better strategy for you

Keep the existing investments under review first.
Check the current value and purchase cost of each holding.
Check the unrealised capital gains before making any switch.
Review whether each fund still suits your financial goals.
Avoid changing a good fund merely because it is regular.
Fund quality should come before expense ratio.

» For future investments

You can consider direct plans if you can manage everything yourself.
But do this only after understanding the responsibilities involved.
Alternatively, continue with regular plans through a good MFD.
The right choice depends on the service you actually receive.
Do not select direct plans only because the expense is lower.

» A possible transition approach

Do not convert the entire portfolio in one transaction.
First identify funds where the future cost saving is meaningful.
Check the capital gains and applicable taxation.
Consider future investments separately from existing holdings.
Existing units can be reviewed based on tax efficiency.
New investments can follow your chosen investment structure.
This gives you flexibility without disturbing the entire portfolio.

» Important point about your three funds

Since you have held them for around 10 years, review is essential.
Do not judge them only by their past performance.
Check consistency across different market cycles.
Check portfolio concentration and investment style.
Check whether the funds still fit your goals.
Also review whether you have too much exposure to mid-cap stocks.
Your overall asset allocation matters more than one fund.

» Tax point while switching

Equity mutual fund taxation must be considered before switching.
LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh is currently taxed at 12.5%.
STCG on equity mutual funds is currently taxed at 20%.
A switch can therefore trigger taxable capital gains.
The tax cost should be compared with future expense savings.
This is especially important after a 10-year holding period.

» My preferred approach

First, prepare a complete portfolio statement.
Include purchase dates, purchase values and present values.
Identify the capital gains in each holding.
Review the portfolio allocation and fund suitability.
Then compare regular and direct versions of suitable funds.
After that, decide which holdings need action.
Avoid making a blanket switch simply to save commission.

» Final Insights

Your concern about long-term costs is financially sensible.
But cost saving should not be the only decision factor.
A good regular-plan relationship can provide meaningful value.
Direct plans can work well for disciplined and knowledgeable investors.
The best choice depends on your ability to manage the portfolio.
With a 10-15 year horizon, proper portfolio review is more important.
A phased approach can reduce unnecessary tax and investment disruption.
Your existing 10-year discipline gives you a strong base for the future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |131 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Sep 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2026
Career
My mother-in-law is constantly creating misunderstandings between my husband and me. She often says or does things that lead to arguments, but then pretends to be innocent, making it difficult for my husband to see what is happening. She is emotionally manipulating my husband and son against me. This has started affecting our relationship and my peace of mind. How can I deal with this situation without creating more conflict in my marriage?
Ans: Hi!!

Being a wife and a daughter-in-law is not an easy job. Over and above that, having a difficult or manipulative mother-in-law can sometimes feel like too much to handle.

She is your husband’s mother, and therefore, she deserves your respect, regardless of how she behaves.

The relationship between a husband and wife is sacred. It has to be built on mutual love, respect and trust. If your relationship is built on these principles, whatever your mother-in-law may do to create misunderstandings between you and your husband, it will not be easy for her to break the bond you share. I am very sure of this.

But first, check yourself. Be truthful, honest, loving and respectful towards your husband and towards everyone around you. You really have to practise these qualities and believe in their strength. When you know that you have been genuine in your relationship, you will have the inner strength and confidence to deal with difficult situations.

Most importantly, value your happiness and peace at all costs. Learn to let go of the small things for the sake of the bigger picture. Not every situation needs a reaction. Choose your battles wisely and, in this situation, be the smarter one.

And most importantly, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband. Choose the right time—a time when both of you are calm, emotionally receptive and in the right frame of mind to discuss the situation as true partners.

Do not approach the conversation as “your mother versus me.” Approach it as “we are a team, and we need to protect our relationship.”

Remember, you and your husband are on the same team. When there is love, trust, respect and open communication between the two of you, outside influences have far less power over your marriage.

That, I believe, is the way forward—without creating more conflict, and while protecting both your marriage and your peace of mind.

...Read more

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