Hi! I am married now for 4 years and have a 18 months old child. My wife is having Borderline Personality Disorder and often talks about ending the marriage but when she is normal, she credits me for such an understanding husband. She doesn't acknowledge that she has such disorder from before marriage. I am very disallusioned about what step to take more so because of my daughter. Shall I go for divorse? Please advice.

Hello, I am married for the last 15 years with 2 kids. All though for entire period of this 15 years has been a roller coaster in the relationship, All of a sudden since the last 7 months the relationship has detoriated with my wife sleeping with the kids, not talking to me, cutting my social circles. Have tried talking to her directly and through some common links, but she does not talk & infact has cut all the channels. i have tried being home all the time and do all the house hold cores, take care of the children, but no impact on her. She is a deperession patient and refuses to consult the doctor. I feel i had enough and want to look options for seperation. Kindly advise

Hi Ms. Anu, I need some different way of looking at the mess I am in. We are a very well educated couple married since past 16 years and very well settled (financially) abroad. We married after a courtship with blessings of both families and we do have a kid who is doing well atleast academically. The marriage has been a mess all these years starting within a couple of years after marriage. I do come from a very close knit middle class with a mentality/ upbringing to carryon whatever the odds are for wellbeing of kid also the spouse. My wife come from a pretty broken family where none of the family members are staying together or on routine talking terms. I do strongly feel that she has a borderline personality disorder which she refuses to atleast seek help available even to confirm or reject it. She has no good friends and her relations are very superficial with lot of white lies. Living with her is like walking on needles not knowing when she goes off. It has literally made me and my kid apprehensive every other minute dealing with her. She has given up her career in India and is a home maker here and I do respect that a lot but she is also very apprehensive to try out anything over here in spite of so many opportunities .I really don’t have any problem with it as we don’t have any financial need for it. She has best of everything we have/ earned over here, I never question her regarding even routine needs and try to work around her choices. We are like roommates living in a big house in separate rooms bringing up kid in best possible way. It sort or drains me out both mentally and physically and even affects my professional progress. Every attempt to discuss amicably ends with a fight. She has no social support to even fallback or ask for help. For me I don’t want to divorce her as I do know she won’t be able to survive alone over here or in India also I don’t want this to even put a small mental scar on my kid. I am trying out the best possible way I can but I do fear I might breakdown some day or the other leaving them in bad position. I dont have any affairs, I don’t even drink/ smoke/ gamble. I am just a simple person trying to live comfortably and bringing up the kid in best possible was as every other person.

Hi, Me and my wife both are of same age. We had an arranged marriage and are married for 8 years. We have two kids. She has ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ and its very difficult to live with her. I am giving her meds without her knowledge since 8 years with which its just manageable and going along. But life has become very troubled. All my dreams and goals remain unfilled. Also if somehow one day meds are not given, it becomes like hell. because of this i am almost completely isolated from my parents and siblings. Talking to her is not a solution and getting expert advise from psychiatrist is also impossible as she wont go to psychiatrist or psychologist. She also has less insight. How to come out of this mess?

Hi Anu Madam, I am in age of 44 and my wife also same 44. We both married for 15 years and having daughter with age 14. My wife having some mental health issue where she started hating all the people (me, our parents, neighbors, friends). She not talking to anyone and also having fight with all the people she is meeting. Tried some mental health counseling sessions and visited mental health doctors in last 2 years. But she is not willing to accept that she is having mental health issue and also not supporting for treatment. She is connecting all with my daughter and scolding with bad words. this is impacting our daughter's life. Considering future of our daughter, thinking of separating and but wanted to understand whether it is good idea to divorce in the age of 44. Please advice how I can come out of this situation and what will be the impact if I do diverse at this age.