20 Years Married with No Physical Connection: Should I Fight for Divorce?

Ans: I am so very sorry to know your situation which is very challenging It's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and patience.Take some time to reflect on how you communicate with your wife. Are there ways you can improve your communication style? Focus on expressing your feelings and needs without placing blame as this is very sensitive time.Communication is a two-way street. Make sure you actively listen to your wife's concerns and feelings. Understanding her perspective is crucial in finding common ground and working towards resolution. Given the mention of divorce threats, it may be wise to seek legal advice to understand your rights and options. However, keep in mind that legal proceedings can further strain relationships, so it's best approached with caution. Remember that resolving complex relationship issues takes time and effort from both parties involved. Professional assistance can be instrumental in navigating these challenges. If your wife remains unresponsive, it might be worthwhile to focus on your own well-being and personal growth while keeping the lines of communication open for potential reconciliation.

Ans: Dear Rajesh,
First and foremost, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of any potential children involved. While divorce may seem like the only solution, it's also worth considering seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, to try to address the issues in your relationship and explore potential avenues for improvement.

If communication is a significant challenge due to education and cultural differences, a therapist or counselor can help facilitate more effective communication and understanding between you and your wife. They can also provide guidance on how to navigate conflicts and differences in a constructive manner.

Additionally, it may be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a religious or community leader, to mediate discussions between you, your wife, and your respective families. They may be able to provide support and guidance in finding a resolution that is mutually acceptable and respects the well-being of all parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue divorce or to work on improving the relationship is a deeply personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to carefully consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals as needed.

Ans: It's clear that your love and affection for your wife have always been genuine. However, doubts and insecurities can sometimes cast shadows even in the strongest relationships. Here are some steps to help you navigate this challenging situation and possibly mend the relationship:

1. Understanding the Root Cause
Reflect on what led to your doubts. Was it a specific incident, a pattern of behavior, or perhaps a deeper insecurity within yourself? Understanding the root cause can help in addressing the issue more effectively.

2. Open and Honest Communication
Sit down with your wife and have a candid conversation. Share your feelings and insecurities without placing blame. Listen to her perspective as well. Communication is key to rebuilding trust.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeing a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work on the underlying issues. A professional can offer strategies and exercises to improve your relationship dynamics.

4. Rebuild Trust
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Show her through your actions that you are committed to change. Be consistent, transparent, and reliable. Trust takes time to rebuild, so be patient.

5. Focus on Yourself
Work on your own emotional health and self-esteem. Engaging in activities that make you feel confident and fulfilled can help reduce insecurities and make you a better partner.

6. Respect Her Wishes
If she wants to be friends at this point, respect her wishes. Show her that you value her as a person and not just as your spouse. Sometimes, relationships can be mended when there is less pressure and more mutual respect.

7. Create Positive Experiences Together
Spend quality time together as friends. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that can bring you closer. Positive shared experiences can rekindle feelings of love and affection.

8. Focus on Your Daughter
Your daughter needs both of you, regardless of the nature of your relationship. Co-parenting amicably and showing a united front can have a positive impact on her well-being. This, in turn, can bring you and your wife closer as you work together for your daughter's best interests.

9. Give It Time
Healing and rebuilding a relationship take time. Be patient and give each other the space needed to process emotions and experiences. Don't rush the process.

10. Accept the Possibility of Change
While it's important to work towards saving your marriage, also accept that the outcome may not be what you hope for. Sometimes, relationships change form, and it's essential to be prepared for all possibilities.

Remember, the journey of mending a relationship requires effort from both sides. By demonstrating genuine change and understanding, you may create an environment where love and trust can flourish once again.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously she never healed from the break-up and you came into her life only to live away that has not helped your marriage.

Right time to seek professional help. Do appeal to her that Divorce only causes a lot of turmoil especially when there is a child involved in the equation. Your wife needs someone to tell her that she has to act like a grown-up. Running away from a marriage and playing the past events isn't going to help and Divorce is only going to accentuate it. Now, if you say this to her, she will most likely call you a villain. So, ASAP go to a marriage therapist...give it a chance...A lot of marriages are saved through this process and your child does deserve a loving home and loving parents.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/