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Enjoying life and finding the perfect match at 65

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |358 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
ASHOK Question by ASHOK on Aug 05, 2024Hindi
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Dear Ma'am Ms Kanchan I am 65 and still working on senior position getting very handsome salary plus perks ,having own pent house at Noida own car and with lavish life but my wife is no more she died last year and i have two adult married children's and well settled in NCR . please advise how can i have good life and what is the procedure i should adopt to get a match lady without children's and stay with me as excellent life partner .

Ans: Ashok Ji,
First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Losing a spouse is incredibly difficult, and it's a positive step that you're looking to find companionship again. Your desire for a life partner who can share your lifestyle and provide mutual support is completely understandable.

To start this journey, consider what qualities and values are most important to you in a partner. Reflecting on your past relationship experiences can help you identify what worked well and what you might want to avoid this time around. Understanding your own needs and preferences will guide you in finding someone who is truly compatible with you.

Given your professional standing and lifestyle, you may want to explore avenues where you can meet like-minded individuals. Networking within your social and professional circles can be a good start. Friends and colleagues might know someone who is also seeking companionship.

Online platforms specifically designed for senior dating could also be helpful. These sites allow you to specify your preferences, such as looking for a partner without children, and can connect you with potential matches who share similar interests and values.

Another option is engaging in social activities, clubs, or groups that align with your interests. Whether it's a hobby, a sport, or a community service group, participating in these activities can naturally lead to meeting new people who share your passions.

When you meet someone who seems like a potential match, take the time to build a genuine connection. Open and honest communication is key. Share your thoughts, feelings, and expectations for the future, and encourage your partner to do the same. Building a strong emotional bond and mutual understanding will lay a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

Lastly, be patient with yourself and the process. Finding the right person can take time, but maintaining a positive outlook and being open to new experiences will make the journey more enjoyable.

If you feel comfortable, seeking guidance from a relationship coach or counselor could also provide personalized support and advice as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi Madam. I am married from last one and half years now, there has been numerous fights in between small and big ones both. In between this time I have become a mother, and, my baby is 7 months old now. My husband does nothing, did nothing in past one and half years. He is only occupied with his work all the time, he goes to office everyday mostly. Right now my baby is 7 months old and from last 7 months me and my parents are taking care of the baby. And, he absolutely shows no understanding when it comes to looking after the baby. Am also a working person. Moreover I pay all the bills when it comes to getting household stuff, paying rent, all the expenses related to baby. He is so shameless that he just doesn’t care too, when I pick these topics or raise concerns about handling the baby he gets abusive. I am not sure what to do now! How insensible can a person get if no one sees my husband would never feel that person like him exist in this world. I feel like filing a divorce petition now. He was the one who wanted to have baby so soon. I was never ready. Now when I have the baby I am the only person along with my parents and sister looking after the baby.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband wants a family without responsibilities and that's why neither is he interested in the baby nor in paying the bills...This is not just insensitivity but lack of emotional immaturity and the unwillingness to take on responsibilities head on...Approach a senior male member within the family who is someone that has been a role model to others in terms executing family responsibilities and is also caring and affectionate. This person can appeal to your husband and talk some sense into him.

If there's no one that fits the bill, the only option is to go to a professional for Couples Therapy. There's a reason why your husband avoids his duties as a husband and father and that needs to be uncovered and sorted out. It will also help the two of bond and connect better. Make this attempt before jumping into divorce; separating is a whole different world that comes with its own set of challenges and with the baby now in the picture, work at the marriage and putting things together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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