I am 59 & i want to be in relationship with some good lady . I am married & having two children. How can you help me?

Ans:

I have a friend who's sailing in the same boat as you.

She's a newly single mom and was very worried during her divorce that she would never find love again. Her husband had already taken up with another woman before their paperwork was finalised.

So I'm going to give you the same advice I gave her -- stop looking.

She did and, a year later, she's in a new but happy relationship.

The guy she's with is someone she always knew as an acquaintance. Post her divorce, they became close and he is fond of the child as well.

There may be challenges ahead but the point is, as soon as she let life take over instead of this obsession to find someone else, a relationship came up unexpectedly and out of nowhere.

So breathe, recover from old wounds and let things happen as they must. Stop planning a second marriage right away. 

 

Ans: Dear Yazdi,
I have answered your question here on Jul 20:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/gurus-logo-yazdi-patel-sign-out-healthhealth-moneymoney-relationshiprelationship-careescareer/5141831

If you are unable to view it through the link, here was my response:

From the information that I have come across, there are a couple of Apps that cater to seniors only. You might want to try one of those.
Also I see that you seem to like being outdoors and there are travel start-ups that cater to the young at heart (seniors). The internet should give you information on this. They organize trips and adventures that might meet your level of adventure and incidentally you might meet like-minded people too. That may give you a good avenue to connect and build an association not only with a lady but many others as well.

All the best!

Ans: Hello Deepak,

I understand your concerns. You can always try dating apps, since they are known to help with making friends and finding love, and makes the process much easier and seamless. Make sure to mention that you want a long-term relationship when you set up your profile, in order to wasting your time on meaningless connections. When you meet a woman, I suggest you tell her about your intentions to get married at the very beginning. In case, she only wants a relationship, you both can save your time and energy.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

Ans: I understand that you may be facing a challenging situation, but it's essential to approach this issue with empathy and sensitivity, especially considering your wife's health issues. Communication and mutual understanding are key in such situations. Here are some steps to consider:

Open and Honest Communication: Start by having an open and honest conversation with your wife. Discuss your feelings, needs, and concerns while also listening to her perspective. It's essential to maintain a respectful and understanding tone during this conversation.
Seek Professional Help: If your wife's health issues are affecting her desire for intimacy, encourage her to consult with a healthcare professional. Medical issues can sometimes be treated or managed, and discussing this with a healthcare provider may help improve her situation.
Marriage Counseling: Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist. They can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your wife, providing guidance on how to navigate these sensitive issues.
Self-Care: While addressing these challenges, it's crucial to take care of your own emotional and physical well-being. Engage in hobbies, activities, and practices that bring you joy and reduce stress.
Patience and Understanding: Remember that it may take time for both you and your wife to work through these issues. Be patient and understanding of her needs and feelings, as well as your own.
Explore Intimacy Alternatives: If your wife's health issues make traditional intimacy challenging, consider exploring alternative ways to maintain physical and emotional closeness. This may include cuddling, holding hands, or even seeking advice from a therapist on how to adapt your intimacy in a way that suits both of you.
Support Groups: Look for support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who are going through similar situations. Sharing experiences and advice with others can be comforting and helpful.
Remember that it's crucial to prioritize the emotional well-being and consent of both partners in any intimate relationship. Be respectful of your wife's feelings and boundaries, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Seeking professional guidance can be particularly helpful in navigating these sensitive issues