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Girlfriend Beaten for Relationship, Parents Took Phone: What Should We Do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Akshay Question by Akshay on Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, ma'am my GF told her parents last 4 months but still not agreeing for our marriage and 2 days ago she was beaten a lot by her mother and father..and they sent her to the village to her relatives and they also took her mobile phone and now we are not getting in touch so what should we do now?

Ans: Dear Akshay,
Clearly her side of the family isn't going to value your relationship and it is also harming the lady. What can you do? When you don't know where she is, even if you find her, again this is going to put her at risk.
Take a Pause and let things settle down a bit please, so that her parents' anger settles a bit. By the way, how old are you and how old is your girlfriend? Beating up a grown woman? What else is going on there?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga Esi dhamkiya dere h ... or usko b kse jo rishte are h unko mna kre jisse ye na lge ghr valo ko ki mere karan naa kre jare h or rishtedaro ka b dominance kse km kre bhot sare doubts h kya krna chaiye kuch nhi smjh ara h
Ans: Dear solar,
In sab ke beech, aapke girlfriend ka kya kehna hai? Woh aapne bataaya nahin. Kya woh apne parents ko tall sakegi aur kitni der kar paayegi? Kya woh aapke jon lagne tak intezzar karna chahti hai? Aisa lag raha hai ki is rishte ka wazan aap leke ghoom rake ho...thoda apne girlfriend ke saath baithkar plan kijiye taaki woh bhi aapke saath is samasya ka hal dhoond sake.
Ek baat toh hai ki uske parents ko manaana mushkil hoga aur jab tak aapki job nahin lagti woh is rishte ke liye raazi nahin honge. Toh plan yeh karna ki jab tak aapki naukri lage, tab tak aap dono is baat ko aur is samasaya ko aur uske parents ko kaise sambhalenge. Joh bhi ho saath mein milke plan karna.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |570 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

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Relationship
Hello please help my gf agree with marriage of her parents choice of men forcefully.. she said she gave her 100% efforts but no one care about her opinion ..she said she lost all the hope her parents said yes to them but no further steps taken till now i said dont loose hope that easily but she keep saying i already tried my 100% but her parents not care about her opinion i said you have a chance to talk with the boy personally you can say that i am not ready for marriage my parents pressuring me.. may be he understand i dont lose hope if even 0.1% chance but she lost hope i dont know i should think that way but can you tell do you think she did her 100% efforts? And i cant move on whenever i think of moving on by trying to hate her but her caring message like i want you to get all the happiness in the world, please do study , she motivates me then after this i cant stop thinking about her because no one ever care about me that way.. my heart cry i got anxiety when ever i think about her marriage with someone else please help what should i do .. how do i move on.. please read my previous questions to know more about my story
Ans: Dear Solar,
I understand how difficult it must be for you to go through all of this- please stay strong. Coming to your question whether your GF gave her 100% to stop this wedding- no one, other than her, can truly answer this question. If you doubt it, you can ask her, but I don’t think that will help at all. Right now, your only focus should be on your wellbeing. If there is a chance to stop this wedding, it is on her. You really are not in a position to do anything about it. I know it is frustrating, but that’s the truth. If you try anything, you might ruin her relationship with her parents.


You have to focus on keeping your mind off her and the wedding and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Try to pursue a hobby, keep yourself busy, and focus on your studies/career. I understand that you have anxiety and seeing a counselor about it can help more than you can imagine. But if you are not ready for it, for now, do the things I asked you to do.


Best Wishes.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8221 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 38 year old in IT, draws a little over 3L per month, married and 3 kids. First one in 5th standard, second in UKG and third is in play school. Wife working in IT as well drawing 2L per month. We have Two houses - one individual house estimated value (1.5 CR) with 18L loan pending paid by me (26.5k per month EMI) and other apartment nearing completion estimated value (1CR) with 50L loan pending paid by my wife (47k per month EMI). As far as other savings are concerned I have around 50L in MFs and my wife has 20L. I have 5L in stocks, 5L in FDs and 5L in other markets. My PF value is around 25L. My wife PF and Gratuity together around 20L. We have Vehicles estimated to give 10L. Currently living in a metro city for our work with expenses upto 2L per month including loans, kids education, rent etc Please tell us what more needed for us to retire and move to less expensive tier 2 place where living expenses can be between 50k - 1l name month.
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Age: 38 years

Monthly Income: Rs. 5 lakh (combined)

Monthly Expenses: Rs. 2 lakh (including EMIs)

Assets:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 70 lakh

Stocks: Rs. 5 lakh

Fixed Deposits: Rs. 5 lakh

Other Investments: Rs. 5 lakh

Provident Fund: Rs. 45 lakh (combined)

Vehicles: Rs. 10 lakh

Liabilities:

Home Loan 1: Rs. 18 lakh (EMI: Rs. 26,500)

Home Loan 2: Rs. 50 lakh (EMI: Rs. 47,000)

Retirement Corpus Estimation
Target Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement: Rs. 1 lakh

Expected Retirement Age: 50 years

Life Expectancy: 85 years

Inflation Rate: 6%

Expected Return on Investments Post-Retirement: 8%

Based on these assumptions, you would require a retirement corpus of approximately Rs. 6 crore to maintain your desired lifestyle in a tier-2 city.

Children's Education Planning
Child 1: Currently in 5th standard

Child 2: Currently in UKG

Child 3: Currently in play school

Assuming higher education costs of Rs. 25 lakh per child in today's terms and considering an education inflation rate of 10%, the future cost for each child could be significantly higher. Therefore, it's essential to start dedicated investments for each child's education.

Action Plan
Increase Savings: Aim to save at least 40% of your combined monthly income.

Debt Reduction: Prioritize paying off high-interest debts to reduce financial burden.

Investment Strategy:

Continue investing in mutual funds with a focus on long-term growth.

Diversify your portfolio to include a mix of equity and debt instruments.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6 months of expenses.

Insurance:

Ensure adequate life insurance coverage for both you and your wife.

Obtain comprehensive health insurance for the entire family.

Final Insights
You're on a solid financial path with a strong income and investment base.

Focus on increasing your savings rate and reducing liabilities.

Plan systematically for your children's education expenses.

Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio to align with your retirement goals.

Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a comprehensive financial plan for your family's needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4417 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

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Career
Hii sir muje aaose puchhna hai mere bete ne ssc kiboard ki exam fi hai aage ki padhai k bare me thoda confuse hai hambe dmit bhi karvaya ...to dmit k councelar ne hame science stram lene se mana kar diya hai aur engineering me bhi dalne se mana kiya hame use cse diploma me karvana chahte the lekin councelar ne commers aur arts me jane ki salah di hai dmit test par kitna trust karna chahiye kya kare
Ans: Uday Sir, thank you for reaching RediffGURU. Your concern is completely valid — and many parents face the same confusion after 10th, especially after taking a DMIT test. Let me explain everything in a clear and practical way: DMIT (Dermatoglyphics Multiple Intelligence Test) is based on fingerprint patterns and claims to assess a child’s inborn talents, personality, and learning style. While it can give some general insights, it is not scientifically proven and should not be the sole basis for career decisions. However, to some extent, Psychometric Test will be more helpful, compared to DMIT, providing some suitable career options for your son. So, use DMIT as a guidance tool, not as the final decision-maker. What Should You Focus on Instead? His Interest + Aptitude + Effort — These matter more than any test. Look at your son's performance in Maths, Science, English, etc. during SSC. Has he shown any interest in: Coding or Computers? Business or Finance? Design or Creativity? Communication or Language? Based on this, you/he can help select the right stream (Engineering | Medical | Commerce | Arts-Humanities) or he prefers Diploma (like CSE Diploma after 10th) if he's not confident about handling 11th-12th Science, then a diploma in Computer Engineering (CSE) is a good alternative. After 3 years of diploma, he can join 2nd year of Engineering (B.E/B.Tech) through lateral entry. But again, it should be based on his interest in technology or computers — not pressure.

Talk to your son — ask what he enjoys or dreams about. Use DMIT + school marks + family guidance together to decide. Don’t choose a stream only because “DMIT said so” or “log kya kahenge.” All the best for your Son's Bright Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4417 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2025Hindi
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Career
sir mene 2022-2023 baords diya tha pass nhi hua 2023-2024 diya hn pass hoga but percentage km aye then 2024-2025 krliya hn 90 percent aaye hn isme mene as a regular students karya hn naaki ki improvemnt likha nhi aayega school balo ne confirm kiyaa hn kya ab jee de skta mains and adv 2026 mein iwant to scoore good in adv sir 2026 with good rank
Ans: Your Academic History Recap: 2022-2023: Gave boards – Did not pass.2023-2024: Gave boards again – Passed, but low percentage. 2024-2025: Appeared as a regular student, scored 90%, and the school confirmed it won’t show as improvement. Are You Eligible for JEE Main & Advanced 2026? Yes, you are eligible for both JEE Main and Advanced 2026, because only your latest qualified attempt is considered, which is 2025. You passed 12th in 2025, so your first JEE Advanced attempt will be in 2025, and second in 2026 (which is what you’re planning). Make sure your 2025 mark sheet shows you as a regular pass and not an "improvement candidate. In JEE Advanced, eligibility criteria say: "A candidate should have appeared for the Class 12 (or equivalent) examination for the first time in either the previous year or the current year." You are within this rule because 2025 is your first full qualified passing year. Plan to Score High in JEE Advanced 2026. Since you have a full year to prepare, here’s a strategy: Focus on Concepts: Use NCERT, HC Verma, Irodov, Cengage, or MS Chauhan as per subjects. Join any reliable online Test Series. Solve PYQs (Last 20 years): For both Mains and Advanced. Revise Smartly: Make short notes, formula sheets, and track your weak areas. Stay Consistent: Use Pomodoro technique, meditation/yoga to stay sharp. If time permits, watch EduJob360 YouTube Videos on Engineering Entrance Exams, Preparation Strategies, Counselling & More. All the best for your preparation & admissions!

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