I am in a relationship since nine years, including four years of marriage.
Since the day of marriage, I am having regular fights with my wife concerning my mother and sisters.
Of late, I am feeling like I have lost the love between the two of us.
We have stopped talking and are not even getting a chance to spend some time together. Whenever we do, we end up arguing about past mistakes and all. We never talk about the future.
During the second wave of the pandemic, we came to our native place. After spending some good days, she went to her home for some days and now she is not willing to come back.
We recently had a fight over phone and stopped talking. Then I started calling her and talking to her but she does not seem to be in a mood to talk.
Now, I have stopped talking to her.
I am bit worried as I feel like I am left alone.
Despite so many efforts towards her and her family , she finds a reason to get pissed about me.
I am not sure anymore what to do.
If I try to make her understand, then this is again the same situation happening since four years.
If I don’t, then I know she won’t be taking any initiative from her side.
Please suggest.

Ans: Vasudha, The ten institutions where SC cutoffs in 2024 fell below 43.46 percentile—ensuring 100% feasibility in CAP rounds—are Bharati Vidyapeeth COE, Katraj (Pune); D.Y. Patil COE, Akurdi (Pune); Pimpri Chinchwad COE, Nigdi (Pune); AISSMS COE, Shivajinagar (Pune); AISSMS Institute of Information Technology, Kennedy Road (Pune); Sinhgad College of Engineering, Vadgaon Budruk (Pune); Sinhgad Institute of Technology & Science, Lonavala (near Pune); JSPM Narhe Technical Campus, Narhe (Pune); JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering, Tathawade (Pune); and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Kondhwa (Pune).

Recommendation: Considering accreditation strength, specialized labs, faculty expertise, industry engagement and placement consistency, Bharati Vidyapeeth COE and D.Y. Patil COE stand out for their SC-friendly cutoffs and urban Pune locations; Pimpri Chinchwad COE and AISSMS COE follow for balanced infrastructure and corporate partnerships; Sinhgad COE Vadgaon offers excellent lab facilities and internship programs, making these five the top choices for your MHT-CET percentile and Maharashtra domicile.

Management-Quota Seat Options (Just for information & the capitation/donation/tuition fees provided here are approximate. Please check the college websites for accuracy.
For guaranteed non-CAP admission via management quotas, consider Bharati Vidyapeeth COE Pune (capitation ?2.5 LPA, annual fees ?1.5 LPA; branches: CSE, E&TC, ME, CE, EE), D.Y. Patil COE Akurdi (capitation ?3 LPA, fees ?1.8 LPA; branches: CSE, IT, E&TC, ME, CE), MIT World Peace University Pune (capitation ?4 LPA, fees ?2 LPA; branches: CSE, IT, E&TC, ME, CE), JSPM Narhe (capitation ?2 LPA, fees ?1.6 LPA; branches: CSE, IT, E&TC, ME, CE) and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology Kondhwa (capitation ?3.5 LPA, fees ?1.7 LPA; branches: CSE, E&TC, ME, CE, EE). All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: You’ve already built a strong base.

You have the first-year fees covered. You have PPF maturity in 2026. You have Rs 65 lakhs in mutual funds. This is a position of strength.

Now let’s look at your situation with a 360-degree view and create a simple, low-stress education funding plan.

? Know the Payment Timeline for College Education

– Total education cost is Rs 30 lakhs for 4 years.

– First year is already taken care of.

– That leaves Rs 22 to 23 lakhs needed over the next 3 years.

– That will likely be paid in parts—one year at a time.

– So cash flow planning is better than full lump sum withdrawal.

– Avoid selling full amount now just to keep it aside in a bank.

– Instead, match redemptions with yearly requirements.

? Don’t Use Mutual Funds Randomly – Plan Withdrawals Smartly

– You have Rs 65 lakhs worth of mutual funds.

– Don’t rush to redeem it all.

– Instead, identify how much is needed and when.

– Sell only what’s needed each year, not the entire value now.

– Equity mutual funds fluctuate. So redeem 4–6 months before fee due.

– That gives time to handle market volatility.

– You also save on emotional panic.

– Use systematic withdrawal if needed for cash flow.

– Monitor market trends and sell into strength, not weakness.

? Don’t Ignore PPF – It’s a Powerful Resource

– Your PPF is maturing in March 2026.

– Maturity value is Rs 23 lakhs.

– You can plan to use it for 3rd or 4th year fees.

– PPF maturity is tax-free. That’s a big plus.

– Use this amount for the last part of the education goal.

– This reduces the burden on your mutual funds.

– Also, keep the money in PPF until it is fully required.

– Don’t withdraw early unless there’s a big gap.

– Redeem mutual funds first if market conditions are favourable.

? Keep One Year Fee in a Safer Parking Option

– Before each academic year starts, move next year’s fees into a safer fund.

– Use a short-term debt mutual fund or overnight fund.

– These are not volatile and keep your capital safe.

– This will help you avoid sudden shocks at the time of fee payment.

– Redeem equity fund gradually and move it to safety bucket.

– Avoid waiting until the last minute.

– Mutual fund NAVs can drop quickly in market panic.

– Lock in gains ahead of time to ensure stability.

? Don’t Take an Education Loan Unnecessarily

– You have enough personal funds.

– Loans should be last option, not first.

– Interest burden will affect your future goals.

– Paying out of your own wealth is much better.

– Avoid the mindset of using loan for tax benefit.

– Tax benefit is small compared to interest cost.

– Also, repaying loans takes away flexibility.

– You’re in a position to stay loan-free. Keep it that way.

? Maintain Your Other Financial Goals

– Don’t divert all money into education planning.

– You may also have retirement or emergency fund needs.

– Keep Rs 5 to 6 lakhs as emergency fund always.

– Don’t compromise on long-term financial health.

– Split your mutual fund portfolio accordingly.

– Allocate only Rs 22 to 23 lakhs for this goal.

– Keep the rest for other life goals.

– Don’t mix long-term and short-term plans in one place.

? Don’t Use Sector or Thematic Funds for Education

– These funds are risky and unpredictable.

– They are not goal-friendly for short timelines.

– Their performance depends on external triggers.

– Education goals need steady, safe growth.

– Choose hybrid or large-cap oriented active funds for withdrawals.

– Use debt funds or liquid funds for near-term parking.

– Don’t hold gold funds or international funds for this purpose.

– Exit such funds in a phased and timely manner.

? Plan Redemptions Tax-Efficiently

– Mutual fund redemptions have tax impact.

– Equity fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

– STCG is taxed at 20%.

– So stagger your withdrawals to reduce tax impact.

– Avoid selling everything in one financial year.

– Plan in such a way that you redeem before March each year.

– Spread the redemption across 3 years.

– This smoothens tax liability and reduces strain.

? Avoid Index Funds and Direct Plans for Such Goals

– Index funds don’t protect downside.

– They just mirror market moves.

– They fall heavily when market crashes.

– No one controls risk in index funds.

– Actively managed funds offer better downside protection.

– They adjust sector weights when needed.

– Your money gets some risk management from the fund manager.

– For important goals like education, control is important.

– Direct plans don’t give you expert guidance.

– At this stage, you need planned redemption, taxation advice, and risk control.

– A CFP offering regular plans gives you goal-linked clarity.

– That support is worth much more than 0.5% saved.

? What You Can Do Now – Simple Action Points

– Identify the exact yearly requirement for your son’s education.

– Tag Rs 22–23 lakhs worth of mutual funds for this goal.

– Review those fund types and categories.

– Exit thematic and volatile funds linked to this allocation.

– Retain large-cap, hybrid or conservative fund types.

– Move Year 2 fees into a short-term debt fund now.

– Plan Year 3 redemptions in early 2025.

– Keep Year 4 for PPF maturity in March 2026.

– Rest of your MF portfolio can stay invested for long-term growth.

– Track your fund performance every 6 months.

– Don’t get affected by short-term news or market noise.

– Use a Certified Financial Planner to re-check portfolio alignment.

? Balance Emotion with Practicality

– Education is a deeply emotional goal.

– But don’t let fear or urgency drive decisions.

– Structured planning gives better outcomes.

– You already have most resources available.

– Just aligning timing, tax, and safety will give you success.

– This is not the time to chase high returns.

– This is the time to protect and use wealth wisely.

– Avoid surprises by preparing early for each year’s need.

– You don’t have to sell more than needed.

– Peace of mind is more valuable than percentage returns.

? Finally

– You’ve done the hard work already.

– You’ve created wealth. You’re ready for your son’s future.

– Now just match withdrawals with goals.

– Keep your mutual fund redemptions phased and tax-smart.

– Use PPF maturity with a clear timeline.

– Avoid loans, panic-selling, or overexposure to risk.

– Stay guided, focused, and balanced.

– A Certified Financial Planner can help map this in detail.

– Education is a noble goal. You’ve built the base. You just need smart execution now.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Arijit, I have already answered your question. Anyway, please note, NIT Rourkela’s Electronics & Instrumentation combines rigorous instrumentation, control, and process automation labs with strong industry linkages, achieving approximately 95 percent placement consistency over the last three years and an average CTC of ?19.08 LPA. Its Electrical Engineering programme offers comprehensive power-systems, machines and high-voltage labs, recording similar placement rates near 95 percent with an average package of ?13.62 LPA. At NIT Trichy, Instrumentation & Control Engineering provides advanced sensors, control systems and process instrumentation facilities, securing around 86.7 percent placement in 2024 and benefiting from the institute’s overall median UG package of ?14.35 LPA. All three programmes are AICTE/NBA-accredited, delivered by PhD-qualified faculty, feature modern infrastructure, maintain active recruitment drives, and support strong alumni networks, differing mainly in domain focus, specialization depth, and average compensation.

Recommendation:
Considering cutting-edge instrumentation curriculum, highest average packages, and robust core-sector placements, NIT Rourkela’s Electronics & Instrumentation Engineering emerges as the top choice. For balanced power systems expertise with strong recruitability, NIT Rourkela’s Electrical Engineering follows, and NIT Trichy’s Instrumentation & Control Engineering ranks third for its solid but slightly lower placement consistency. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Jindal Global Business School's Integrated Programme in Management (IPM) is a five-year programme blending BBA (Hons.) and MBA degrees, featuring a comprehensive curriculum with core business fundamentals, specialized tracks in Marketing, Finance, Human Resources, Operations & Supply Chain, and Business Analytics. The programme achieved a 92 percent placement rate in 2023 with 69+ corporate recruiters, securing average packages for Integrated BBA (H) + MBA students at ?7.45 LPA, with the highest international package reaching ?23 LPA. JGBS is accredited by NAAC with A grade and maintains membership in the Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business (AACSB), with a distinguished faculty comprising over 540 members from prestigious institutions including IIMs, IITs, Harvard, and Oxford. The programme has been ranked India's #1 BBA programme by Outlook-ICARE Rankings for two consecutive years (2023-2024), scoring 845.12 points out of 1000 across five key parameters: Academic & Research Excellence, Industry Interface & Placement, Infrastructure & Facilities, Governance & Admissions, and Diversity & Outreach. TAPMI Bangalore's BBA (Hons) is a four-year programme with exit flexibility after three years, offering specialized tracks in Finance, Marketing, Operations, Analytics, Human Resources, and Strategy, supported by three mandatory internships, international immrishti Manipal Institute for creativity development. TAPMI holds dual international accreditation from AACSB and AMBA, positioning it among the top 5 percent of global business schools with this prestigious recognition. The BBA (Hons) programme reports dedicated placement assistance during the sixth semester with comprehensive career guidance, achieving internship statistics with average stipends of ?21,000 per month and highest stipends reaching ?32,000 per month. Both institutions excel in essential benchmarks—robust accreditation, experienced international faculty, modern infrastructure, strong industry linkages, and reliable graduate outcomes—yet differ in programme structure, with JGBS offering integrated dual-degree flexibility and established ranking supremacy, while TAPMI provides specialized international exposure through its global university network and proven track record of academic excellence.

Recommendation: Considering India's #1 BBA ranking for two consecutive years, superior placement statistics with 92 percent success rate, comprehensive integrated dual-degree structure, and exceptional research-driven faculty from global institutions, Jindal Global Business School's IPM programme emerges as the optimal choice for holistic business education and career prospects. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Yes, it’s possible this is a rough patch. The transition from being partners to parents often shifts emotional energy toward caregiving, survival, and responsibility. Many couples go through seasons where intimacy takes a back seat—due to stress, exhaustion, resentment, unspoken hurts, or even changing hormones. But six months of no sexual intimacy, especially when one partner is still trying, is not just a phase to wait out. It’s a signal—something deeper may be going on emotionally, physically, or relationally with your husband.

The most important thing now is to move from subtle hints to open-hearted conversation. Not confrontation, not blame. But a real, calm moment where you say something like:

"I’ve been feeling increasingly distant from you—not just physically, but emotionally. I know life has been exhausting and we’re both stretched. But I miss being close to you. I miss feeling wanted, seen, connected. Can we talk about what’s going on between us? Not to pressure or fix it overnight, but just to understand where we are?”

You're not asking for sex. You’re asking for honesty, presence, and partnership. And if your husband is emotionally closed or dismissive, it may help to involve a couple’s therapist—someone neutral who can help unpack any barriers between you two.

This isn’t just about sex. It’s about closeness, and the quiet loneliness that’s creeping in despite being married and sharing a home and child. Don’t keep absorbing that pain in silence. You deserve connection, not confusion. And your marriage deserves a chance to heal, not just survive.

You're not overreacting. You're paying attention—and that’s the first step toward change.

Ans: The longer you avoid the situation, the more painful it will become for both of you. Ghosting him may feel like self-protection, but to him, it’s abandonment—especially after the emotional bond you both developed. And more than anything, that silence feeds his worst fear: that he is unlovable.

So, what can you do? You begin with honesty, not by confessing everything at once, but by taking responsibility gently. You can say something like:
"There’s something very difficult I need to share, because I value the connection we’ve had and the kindness you’ve shown me. When we first started talking, I didn’t expect it to mean so much. I used a different name and didn’t realise who you really were until recently. That discovery shocked me, and I’ve been scared—of your reaction, of mine, of the consequences. But I also feel immense guilt, because the connection was real for me. You’ve been someone I admire deeply, and I didn’t want to disrespect or mislead you."

This is not about asking him to forgive you or continue anything. This is about closing the gap between who you were and who you are now—with courage, clarity, and care.

He may feel betrayed. He may take time to process it. He may even need space. But you will have done the right thing by coming clean. And regardless of what happens next—whether the connection continues or not—you will walk away knowing that you chose truth over fear.

Also, give yourself grace. You’re human. We all make decisions that seem easier in the moment but become difficult to carry later. What matters now is how you handle the truth—not just for him, but for your own growth and peace.

Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.

Ans: You’ve already taken some wise steps.

You’ve invested. You’ve questioned the value received. You’ve paused, not withdrawn. That’s mature thinking.

Let’s build a 360-degree response, based on your needs and plans ahead.

? Regular Plan vs Direct Plan – Your Experience Matters

– You had over 13 mutual funds under regular plans.

– You didn’t get any guidance from those associated with the fund houses.

– That’s a genuine disappointment and very valid concern.

– But this is not a problem with regular plans themselves.

– The issue lies in choosing the wrong distributor or agent.

– Regular plans offer one big benefit: personalised advisory.

– But only if it comes from a Certified Financial Planner with accountability.

– If the CFP is involved, they guide you, monitor your portfolio, and advise proactively.

– Direct funds remove the support system.

– They expect you to do research, reviews, and rebalancing yourself.

– This is risky unless you’re experienced and emotionally detached from markets.

– So don’t judge regular plans as bad.

– Choose the right person behind the plan instead.

– A MFD with CFP certification gives goal-based strategies, not product pushing.

? Why 13 Mutual Funds is Excess

– Investing in too many funds leads to portfolio overlap.

– You may have five funds holding the same stocks.

– That kills the purpose of diversification.

– It adds confusion and dilutes tracking.

– Also, too many funds don’t always mean better returns.

– In fact, performance gets harder to monitor.

– Ideally, 5 to 7 funds are enough for most goals.

– Fund count depends on goals, not market fear or FOMO.

– Less funds with proper allocation perform better than a scattered portfolio.

? Fear of Mid and Small Caps – Your Caution is Logical

– News mentions overvaluation in mid and small caps.

– It’s partially true, especially in short-term perspective.

– These funds give higher growth, but come with sharper falls.

– Since you’re planning to buy a house, you need safer growth.

– You cannot afford capital loss when you need liquidity.

– So you’re right in avoiding these for now.

– Your awareness shows maturity. That’s a strength.

? Current Funds in Direct Plan – Key Observations

– You mentioned investing in Gold Savings and Manufacturing funds.

– Both are sector-focused or thematic in nature.

– Gold fund tracks international gold prices indirectly.

– Manufacturing fund is theme-based and comes with high sector risk.

– These are not ideal for short-term or house-linked goals.

– These should not be your core portfolio.

– You should avoid thematic or sector funds unless you have other base funds.

– Since real estate purchase is likely, shift your focus to hybrid funds now.

– These offer balance between growth and safety.

– Also, they handle short-term volatility better.

? Balanced Fund Category – Ideal for Your Current Need

– You need a mix of growth and capital safety.

– Hybrid funds (also called balanced funds) offer this mix.

– They combine equity and debt in one product.

– There are types of hybrid funds: conservative, balanced, aggressive.

– Choose based on your time frame and risk comfort.

– A certified planner can help fine-tune this selection.

– These funds adjust exposure based on market mood.

– They help protect you from big shocks at redemption.

– They also reduce emotional panic during market noise.

– For home-related goals, hybrid is a sensible category to start.

? Large Caps – Don’t Judge Them on Recent Performance

– Many feel large caps are underperforming.

– But their role is different from mid or small caps.

– They bring stability, not excitement.

– In market correction, large caps fall less.

– That’s why they remain core part of any smart portfolio.

– Don’t remove them completely. Use them with right expectation.

– If you chase returns only, you’ll move portfolio every year.

– That hurts wealth creation.

– Stick with proven active large cap funds chosen via proper research.

– A fund’s past one-year return is not the right way to judge.

? Keep Your Investment House-Goal Ready

– You said you might need funds for buying another house.

– So you must avoid funds with high equity exposure now.

– Any money needed within 3 years should not go into pure equity.

– Use conservative hybrid funds or short-term debt funds instead.

– These give low-to-moderate growth with limited volatility.

– That helps you when you redeem the funds later.

– You won’t get any major shocks.

– Capital safety becomes more important than chasing returns.

– Once house purchase is done, you can take higher equity exposure again.

? Mutual Fund Portfolio Structure – Keep It Clean

Equity allocation: Choose 2 or 3 diversified active equity funds.

Hybrid allocation: Choose 1 or 2 based on time frame.

Debt allocation: If goal is near, add 1 short-term or dynamic debt fund.

Avoid sector funds, international funds, NFOs, and FOMO-driven launches.

No need to hold more than 5–7 mutual funds.

Keep one fund per category. Don’t duplicate.

Stick to regular plans only via a committed CFP.

Review every 6 months. Don’t overreact to news or media noise.

? Avoid Direct Plans – Especially When Goals Are Emotional

– Direct plans offer low expense ratio. But there is no support.

– It suits those who study markets, monitor funds, and know asset allocation.

– But most investors don’t have that time or bandwidth.

– When goals like buying a house or child education come, panic starts.

– Direct plans offer no guidance at that stage.

– A CFP helps you with exit planning, taxation, rebalancing, and goal alignment.

– Paying a little extra gives clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.

– With regular plans via CFP, you gain professional handholding.

– That is more valuable than 0.5% savings in expense ratio.

? Final Insights

– You’ve done more right things than you give yourself credit for.

– You paused SIPs. You questioned your old strategy. You stayed invested.

– That itself shows you are thinking wisely now.

– Rebuild your portfolio with 5–7 active funds only.

– Avoid direct plans. Choose regular route with a Certified Financial Planner.

– Exit from sector or thematic funds slowly, if they don’t match your goals.

– Shift towards balanced hybrid or short-term debt options for near-term goals.

– Don’t chase return percentages. Chase risk control and goal alignment.

– You will create wealth by staying invested, reviewing smartly, and getting expert support.

– Avoid being your own advisor in complex times.

– Take help. Grow steady. Stay confident.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Hello Nishesh
Prefer ECE; from, KCET, or COMEDK college in Bangalore over SKIT Jaipur

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam