Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2021
I am in a relationship since nine years, including four years of marriage.
Since the day of marriage, I am having regular fights with my wife concerning my mother and sisters.
Of late, I am feeling like I have lost the love between the two of us.
We have stopped talking and are not even getting a chance to spend some time together. Whenever we do, we end up arguing about past mistakes and all. We never talk about the future.
During the second wave of the pandemic, we came to our native place. After spending some good days, she went to her home for some days and now she is not willing to come back.
We recently had a fight over phone and stopped talking. Then I started calling her and talking to her but she does not seem to be in a mood to talk.
Now, I have stopped talking to her.
I am bit worried as I feel like I am left alone.
Despite so many efforts towards her and her family , she finds a reason to get pissed about me.
I am not sure anymore what to do.
If I try to make her understand, then this is again the same situation happening since four years.
If I don’t, then I know she won’t be taking any initiative from her side.
Please suggest.
You have left out one very important piece of information. Do you and your wife live with your mother and sisters?
I know in-laws are a bone of contention in most households at some point, but it comes to such an extreme only when people are forced to cohabitate with them. And if this is the case, you need to change the living arrangements pronto.
Never mind whether your wife is right or your family is right; if you want to save your marriage and improve relations between your family and your wife, move out. Immediately.
I’d like you to write in again and tell me exactly what’s going on. And this is for both of you -- if you don’t let go of the past and forgive each other’s past mistakes, you’ll never move forward.
The idea is not to repeat them and fall into old patterns of behaviour.
You need to make a promise to each other that, when having a discussion, neither will rake up past fights unless they have an extreme bearing on the current scenario.
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