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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Manali Question by Manali on Oct 28, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I am 30 and have not been able to find a partner.
So have agreed to look at bridegrooms my parents suggest and consider an arranged marriage.
What kind of questions do you think I should ask the men I meet on our ‘arranged dates’.
Thank you,
Manali

Ans:

Dear Manali,

Arranged or not, there has to be some initial attraction or interest when you meet all these would-be Romeos.

The manner of a person matters; how well-spoken he is, how open, honest, good-humoured.

You could ask what expectations he has of marriage and a life partner, for a start? Personal beliefs, religious beliefs, political affiliations... all of these are important when you're considering spending the rest of your life with a person.

Speak freely, and know that conversation is the way to go, not a QnA session Kaun Banega Crorepati style!

And most importantly, do not settle for someone. Please note, I'm saying it again -- some kind of spark should be there in order to pursue things.

 

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Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

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