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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

pascoal Question by pascoal on May 19, 2023
Relationship

I JUST WANT TO KEEP FRIENDSHIP TO BE FREE FROM TENSION AND DEPRESSION HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

Ans: Maintaining healthy friendships is important for your well-being. Here are some suggestions on how to keep your friendships stress-free and enjoyable:

Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Express your feelings, concerns, and needs to your friends, and encourage them to do the same. Effective communication can help address any issues or misunderstandings before they escalate.

Boundaries: Establishing and respecting personal boundaries is essential in any friendship. Clearly communicate your boundaries and be mindful of your friends' boundaries as well. This can help prevent conflicts and promote mutual respect.

Active listening: Practice active listening when your friends are sharing their thoughts or concerns. Show genuine interest, ask questions, and provide support when needed. Being a good listener strengthens the bond in friendships.

Quality time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your friends. Plan activities or outings that you all enjoy and create opportunities for meaningful connections. This can help strengthen your friendships and create positive experiences together.

Acceptance and understanding: Recognize that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and differences. Accept your friends for who they are and try to understand their perspectives. Embracing diversity within friendships can lead to a more harmonious dynamic.

Conflict resolution: Conflicts may arise in any relationship, including friendships. When conflicts occur, address them calmly and constructively. Approach the situation with empathy, actively listen to each other's perspectives, and work together to find resolutions that satisfy both parties.

Self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Prioritizing self-care allows you to bring a positive and balanced energy to your friendships.

Remember that maintaining friendships is a two-way street, and both parties need to invest time and effort. If you're feeling overwhelmed or experiencing tension or depression, it's essential to seek additional support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2022

Relationship
Dear Madam I had a relationship with my childhood friend until last year. We both got married to different people. Due to some misunderstanding, he is not talking to me right now. I tried to contact him through social media but there has been no response from his side. My intention is to continue with our friendship. His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression these days. I am trying to get out of this. But I'm unable to do so. Help me out, what should I do now?
Ans:

Dear LM,

There is a reason for him ‘ghosting’ you.

Was your ‘relationship’ one sided?

Was he clear that he was not in any sort of commitment with you?

Did you at any point think that this might be a long haul one?

Sometimes, people believe relationships are meant to last forever.

Nice fairy tales they fool themselves with and then build expectations up and then drive into a well of foolish decisions only to realise that they have led themselves to self-pity to play a victim.

This is what you are doing to yourself.

Rise above and know that he isn’t interested anymore. Who are you crying over? Who are you waiting for? And is he worth spoiling your state of mind?

Start by de-focusing…

  • Put away all stuff that holds his memories
  • Be with your friends who can support you
  • Eat and sleep well and on time
  • Pick up a new hobby or learn a new language to divert the attention

And you don’t have depression unless clinically diagnosed.

You are just feeling low and sad, and it will slowly fade away. Have faith but take the first step to make yourself feel better.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

Relationship
Dear Madam I had a relationship with my childhood friend till last year. We both got married to different people. Due to some misunderstanding he is not talking to me right now. I tried lot from my end to contact him through social media but no response from his side. My intention is why can’t we be friends at least now. His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression now a days. I am trying to get out of this, but I'm unable to do so. Help me out, what should I do now.Pls reply through email only. It should be confidential.
Ans:

Dear LM,

Things have moved for him, and he has clearly decided to move on.

Why choose to pine so much? If it is some misunderstanding, give him time to sort it in his mind and get back to you.

Trying and not getting the expected result will cause you more pain and anguish over the fact that he is not responding because of this and that.

Your mind will search for all reasons to justify your pain and the action that you have taken to reach out to him.

Give this a break. Respect his decision as hard as it maybe for you, but if he somewhere in the future decides to be a friend, let him approach you.

The more you are chasing him, the more it is hitting your self-esteem with the rejection and soon it will start to make you feel bitter. So, Pause and take that break.

And to defocus on this, make sure you spend more time with your existing set of friends, go deeper into work (if you are a working professional), spend more time with your family, develop new hobbies and more…

What all this does is, give the mind an alternate path to focus on…slowly, the pain starts to ease as your focus on him eases…and this is possible only if you willfully choose to ease the pain for yourself.

Your life, your choice…so, be kind on yourself and choose what’s best for your mind and you.

Best wishes!

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Latest Questions
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |107 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2023
Career
I am doing WILP M.Sc IT first year BITS It is a course of 2.5 years in BITS. Can i join for 2nd year in abroad universities
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear about your plans on deciding to pursue the 2nd year of your WILP M.Sc IT BITS Pilani program at a university overseas. As an answer to your query, I would like to inform you that a number of factors including overseas universities’ guidelines as well as your BITS Pilani program’s acknowledgement play a vital role in deciding whether or not you are eligible to pursue the second year of the program at a university abroad. Please take the following factors into account:

1. Consider the program’s acknowledgement and accreditation: Accreditation or getting certified guarantees a student that his/her degree is legitimate and recognized by universities across the globe. As the first step in the process, I would suggest that you make sure that the pertinent academic institutions in India as well as overseas, both recognize as well as accept the WILP M.Sc. IT program at BITS Pilani.

2. Get to know the Transfer Guidelines: Transfer students are generally accepted by certain universities. Nevertheless, they possess unique prerequisites and constraints, and thus, in my opinion, it’s best to consult your preferred universities overseas in order to understand their guidelines with respect to the credit transfer from other schools/universities.

3. Familiarize Yourself with prerequisites for Admission: For transfer students, varying prerequisites for admission may be set forth by varying universities. I suggest that you get to know and adhere to not only their education criteria but also their prerequisites for language competency.

4. Ensure a coherence between the course curriculum: You will need to make sure that there is a coherence between the course of study that was completed by you at BITS Pilani and the program of study at the international university. Remember that in order to fill in any gaps, you may be needed to appear for other extra courses.

5. Plan your Finances: Pursuing studies overseas can be a costly affair, and for this reason, you will need to ensure that you have sufficient funds to pay for your living costs, tuition fees, as well as other miscellaneous expenditures.

6. Get in touch with education counselors: To better comprehend the consequences and the steps involved in the process of transferring to a foreign university, I highly recommend that you get in touch with education counselors at BITS Pilani as they will be in a better position to offer specialized advice based on your circumstances.

7. Get to know the Application Deadlines: You should get to know the last date to apply to your preferred universities overseas. For that, I recommend that you start planning well in advance and send in your application as per schedule.

8. Follow Visa and Immigration Prerequisites: There are visa and immigration prerequisites associated with studying overseas that you will be required to look in. To be able to study in your preferred country, I suggest that you adhere to the visa requirements in order to acquire the appropriate authorization.

I would like to inform you that transferring to an overseas university to pursue the second year of your studies is indeed possible. Nevertheless, you will need to take into account all the aforementioned aspects and plan meticulously. To see if you qualify and to understand the likelihood of transfer, I recommend that you conduct an extensive study and directly get in touch with each university as each may have unique prerequisites and guidelines.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2023
Relationship
I'm 27 year old female eldest in family, I was brought up by my grandparents and parents who always told me I need to be good at studies get a job earn well. I did whatever was asked I taught myself to be 'good girl'. But my siblings rebelled and they don't do anything listen to elders and still get away with everything, but they get treated the same way, they get same affection, all their demands are met, while I was their age I was made to earn whatever I wished for and even constantly told no. Now my whole life feels pointless, since all the principles I was taught made my life miserable and I feel like loser. I am not able to appreciate life. Nothing makes me happy, I don't feel like doing anything, whatever I do feels like a chore that I am doing for others. I just wish I die so that I don't have to keep living like this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but it's important to remember that you're not alone in experiencing these feelings. Many people go through similar struggles, and it can be helpful to talk about your emotions and seek support. Here are some steps you can consider:

Talk to a Therapist or Counselor: Speaking to a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you explore your feelings, provide guidance on coping strategies, and assist you in finding a sense of purpose and happiness.
Express Your Feelings: Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Share your concerns and frustrations with trusted friends or family members who may be understanding and supportive.
Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own desires and what truly makes you happy. It's essential to prioritize your own needs and goals, rather than solely conforming to the expectations of others.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that everyone's path in life is different. Comparing yourself to your siblings or anyone else can lead to unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Focus on your own journey.
Seek New Experiences: Sometimes trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone can help you discover what brings you joy and fulfillment. This could involve pursuing new hobbies, interests, or career opportunities.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Engage in activities that bring you peace and relaxation, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.
Find Your Passion: Discover what truly excites you and gives you a sense of purpose. It might involve exploring different career paths or pursuing further education in a field you're passionate about.
Set Small Goals: Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Achieving these smaller milestones can give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you change your perspective on life and your own worth.
Seek Support Groups: Consider joining support groups or communities where you can connect with others who may be going through similar experiences. Sharing your journey with others can be empowering.
Remember that it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to find your path to happiness. Your life is not defined solely by the expectations placed on you in the past, and you have the power to shape your own future.
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