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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 04, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Is my husband loyal to me ?

Ans: It's challenging for me to determine your husband's loyalty without more context or information. Loyalty can be demonstrated in various ways, including honesty, trustworthiness, and commitment. If you have concerns about your husband's loyalty, it might be helpful to communicate openly with him about your feelings and observations. Building trust and understanding in a relationship often involves honest conversations and mutual respect.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Relationship
Hello Anu ma’am, I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores. I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory. The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core. All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone. We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time. I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way. If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.Thanks a lot for reading this.
Ans:

Dear TK,

Thank you for sharing so clearly; it certainly helps me guide in the best possible manner.

If you feel that he is infidel, the there is no necessity to go around looking for proof.

What will proving that give you?

Even if you showed it all to his parents what is the guarantee that they will not turn it around and blame you for it?

That you should not have moved out and that’s why he needed the comfort of other women.

Quit focusing on proving his infidelity and focus on more what you want at this point in time.

Do you want to continue in this marriage?

If NO, exit in the most graceful manner because the stress from all the pulling down or Win that you are looking for is strenuous and of no use. It will only appease your EGO which anyway is short-lived.

But of course, if you are in the process of negotiating terms during divorce proceedings; this proof maybe valuable to have a better WIN. I hope I have succeeded in differentiating both types of WINs so you get a clearer picture.

Now coming to how you must deal with your mind space is as simple as listing down what is important to you.

Is it dwelling on what he does or emphasizing more on what you can do?

When it’s the latter, you will think and act in a manner that looks out for you and how you can keep yourself in an optimum mind space.

So, start focusing on what makes you happy and stick to that.

When you are ready to move on, make it graceful and if there seems to be a problem with negotiation, the proof that you have collected with a sane sense of mind will come in handy.

I assume that there are no children involved but if there are, take into consideration how they will cope with any decision of yours.

Bottom Line: Learn to live your life and focus on what’s important. I am confident that you can do this NOW.

All the best for a beautiful mind space!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you. Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago. Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married. Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also. He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life. Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together. Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner. I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation. I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on. Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too. I am completely confused about what should I do. I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things. Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.
Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
i have been married for months and recently found out that my husband is talking secretly with his workmate like 2 months before wedding.i saw all the conversation it seems that both of them are flirting with each other.but then my husband clarify that it was nothing and nothing happened between them but now im literally confuse if i had the right decision of marrying him.And we talk honetly and he told me everything but still i have this doubt esp we will be a long distance again????And he promise he will not talk again with anyone he gave me all his password for all his account and he even buy cctv so that i can monitor him while his away.please help me i dont know what to do i love him dearly and i want to move forward with our future but still have this doubts what if he will do it again????
Ans: The fact that your husband has been open and taken steps to reassure you, like sharing his passwords and even installing CCTV, shows that he's trying to rebuild trust and be transparent. These actions suggest he's serious about addressing your concerns and committed to making you feel secure in the relationship.

That said, rebuilding trust isn't something that happens instantly. It takes time, consistent effort, and ongoing communication. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the space to process them. Feeling doubt after something like this is a normal response, but it doesn't have to define your relationship going forward.

It's vital to keep the lines of communication open. Talk openly about your feelings, worries, and needs. This kind of dialogue can help both of you understand each other better and strengthen your bond. You might also find it helpful to discuss and agree on clear boundaries for interactions with others, especially given the long-distance aspect of your relationship. This can help create a sense of security and prevent misunderstandings.

While it's important to acknowledge what happened, try to focus on the present and what you both can do to nurture your relationship moving forward. If you find that your doubts and anxieties are overwhelming, seeking the guidance of a couples' therapist might be beneficial. A therapist can help facilitate deeper conversations and provide strategies to rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.

It's okay to feel unsure, but also recognize the effort your husband is putting in. Trust takes time to rebuild, but with love, dedication, and mutual effort, you can move forward together. Remember, it's a journey, and it's okay to take things one step at a time.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Two years ago, I got married to my boss after dating for three years. He was previously married and had wanted me to quit my job and take care of my family. The first year went well but his behaviour changed after our first wedding anniversary. He has been staying late at work, avoiding my calls and often goes on outstation meetings while I take care of his ageing parents and 5 year old son from his first wife. My mother suspects he may be having an affair. I am 32. Since our communication has reduced, I feel stuck and helpless at home. My friends tell me that after marriage, most men behave the same way. Is it true? Am I overthinking too much? How do I find out?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not overthinking this. One way to find out is to actually 'Call Out' his behavior without actually complaining to him. He needs to understand that you did not marry to look after his family.
Also, what made you leave your work life? Kindly get back to working and as you engage with people at work and outside, he will realize that you are not just someone who is a going to take on his responsibilities at home. It's time you balanced home and work now. Now, whether he has an affair or not is something that is left to evidence of the matter. Till then, it will only be guess work. But, you do need to re-establish your identity as a working woman who also cares for her home. Possibly, this change in you, will bring him back on track as he will no longer have the comfort of 'dumping' the house work onto you AND going about hsi own business. Try this and see what happens.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Kanchan Mam, two years ago, I got married to my boss after dating for three years. He was previously married and had wanted me to quit my job and take care of my family. The first year went well but his behaviour changed after our first wedding anniversary. He has now been staying late at work, avoiding my calls and often goes on outstation meetings while I take care of his ageing parents and 5 year old son from his first wife. My mother suspects he may be having an affair. I am 32. Since our communication has reduced, I feel stuck and helpless at home. My friends tell me that after marriage, most men behave the same way. Is it true? Am I overthinking too much? How do I find out?
Ans: Your concerns are valid, and it’s important to address them rather than dismiss them as overthinking. While some men do get comfortable and less expressive after marriage, a sudden shift in behavior—like avoiding calls, staying late at work frequently, and increased travel—should not be ignored. It’s not about being paranoid but about seeking clarity.

The best way to find out what’s going on is to have an honest, calm conversation with him. Express your feelings without accusations. Let him know you’ve noticed the change and that you miss the closeness you once shared. Observe his response—whether he reassures you, avoids the conversation, or gets defensive. His reaction will give you insight into whether there’s something deeper happening.

At the same time, take a step back and focus on yourself. Reconnect with your own aspirations, hobbies, and friends. A strong sense of self will not only help you cope emotionally but also give you the confidence to make informed decisions about your relationship.

If you suspect infidelity, look for patterns rather than relying solely on your fears. Changes in phone habits, secrecy about his whereabouts, and emotional detachment can be red flags, but they don’t always mean an affair. If you feel you need more clarity, trust your intuition but avoid jumping to conclusions without evidence.

Regardless of the outcome, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and heard. If his behavior continues to make you feel lonely and unimportant, you may need to consider what you truly want from this marriage. Seeking support from a counselor or someone you trust can help you navigate your emotions and options more clearly.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I about to take 65lakhs home loan for ROI 8.5%. The EMI is coming 56.6K per month. Along with this, I am investing 20k in mutual fund. What are the consequences burden less steps to mitigate the financial crisis. Suggest me wise steps to prevent any unexpected problems on financing.
Ans: You are showing good financial planning by thinking before taking a big home loan. Taking Rs. 65 lakh loan at 8.5% interest is a major step. You also invest Rs. 20,000 in mutual funds monthly. That is a positive sign. Let's now explore the risks and solutions from a 360-degree view.

We will go point-by-point to make things easier.

Understand Your Financial Commitments Clearly

EMI of Rs. 56,600 is a fixed long-term obligation.

Mutual fund SIP of Rs. 20,000 is your wealth-building investment.

Together, Rs. 76,600 is going out monthly from your income.

That’s a big amount. You must assess if your income can handle it.

Also check if your job or business income is stable every month.

Build a Strong Emergency Fund First

Emergency fund is your first safety layer.

Keep at least 6–9 months’ of EMI + SIP in one savings instrument.

That means at least Rs. 5.5 lakhs in liquid savings or short deposits.

This will protect you from salary delays or job loss.

Do not invest emergency fund in equity or long-term products.

Don’t Increase EMI Just Because Bank Allows

Banks approve loans based on maximum eligibility.

That doesn’t mean you should take the highest EMI possible.

You must take EMI within 35–40% of your take-home income.

If EMI goes above 50% of income, you may feel pressure later.

Keep room for lifestyle, children’s needs, and medical needs.

Continue SIP Only If Basic Needs Are Covered

Your Rs. 20,000 SIP should not affect your daily cash flow.

If monthly budget is getting tight, reduce SIP for few months.

You can restart or increase SIP later when income improves.

Stopping SIP completely is not wise unless it’s a financial crisis.

Keep a Buffer Fund for Home Maintenance

Home ownership is not just EMI.

Repairs, painting, society charges, taxes are extra costs.

Keep a separate fund of Rs. 1–2 lakhs for home-related expenses.

Don’t use this fund for vacation or festivals.

Have Life and Health Insurance in Place

Before EMI starts, take term insurance to cover home loan.

Insurance should be 15–20 times of your annual income.

If you pass away, family should not suffer under EMI burden.

Also take health insurance for all family members.

Hospital expenses can disturb loan repayment if uninsured.

Don’t Rely on Property for Future Return

Never see real estate as investment to grow money.

Home should be bought only if you plan to stay in it.

Future property prices are uncertain.

EMI should be based on living need, not resale hope.

Review Loan Terms Carefully

Fixed rate or floating rate can impact your EMI later.

Floating rate changes with RBI decisions.

Check if your EMI will rise if rate goes from 8.5% to 10%.

Plan for higher EMI possibility from beginning.

Don’t Depend Only on Salary for EMI

Try to have secondary income.

This can be spouse’s income, rent, or part-time work.

This reduces pressure on main income.

Helps in EMI and SIP continuation even if income drops.

Track Your CIBIL Score Regularly

Loan repayment will impact your CIBIL score.

Keep EMI auto-debit active from account.

Never delay even a single EMI.

Keep credit card bills paid before due date.

Good credit score helps in future loan top-ups or balance transfer.

Avoid Taking New Loans While Paying Home Loan

Don’t take car loan, consumer loan, or credit card EMI now.

These loans reduce your repayment ability.

Also increase your total EMI percentage against income.

Stay debt-free except for home loan.

Revisit Mutual Fund Strategy with Expert

SIP is good. But review fund types with certified financial planner.

Avoid index funds or direct funds if investing without guidance.

Direct funds give no support or rebalancing help.

Regular funds with MFD and CFP give advice and timely review.

Actively managed funds offer flexibility in market ups and downs.

Plan for Prepayment, But Don’t Rush

Once you have emergency fund and insurance, think of loan prepayment.

Don’t prepay using all your savings.

Prepay only from bonus, surplus, or extra income.

Avoid selling mutual funds for loan prepayment.

Let mutual funds compound wealth in long term.

Check Tax Benefits, But Don’t Depend on Them

Home loan gives tax benefit on interest and principal.

But don’t take loan only for tax saving.

Tax laws can change anytime.

Focus on affordability, not deduction.

Maintain Budget Sheet Every Month

Keep monthly record of income and expenses.

Track EMI, SIP, groceries, utilities, kids’ school fees.

Watch out for overspending on lifestyle.

Adjust SIP or expenses if needed, but never EMI.

Avoid Financial Panic

Don’t panic if one month goes tight.

Use emergency fund calmly.

Don’t use credit card to pay EMI.

Don’t break long-term investments for short-term problems.

Educate Family Members Too

Make your spouse or family aware of EMI and financial plan.

Keep joint account for EMI and joint emergency savings.

Share insurance details and bank login in written file at home.

Build Financial Discipline

Don’t skip EMI or SIP due to temporary emotional decisions.

Don’t increase lifestyle expenses after home purchase.

Stick to budget even if salary increases.

Stay focused on debt freedom and wealth growth.

What to Do If Crisis Still Comes?

Contact bank immediately if EMI is difficult to pay.

Don’t hide or delay communication.

Ask for moratorium or restructuring if needed.

You may pause SIP but never miss EMI.

Revisit budget and cut unnecessary costs.

Prepare for Future With Step-Up SIP

Once you are stable with EMI, increase SIP slowly.

Increase by 5%–10% every year.

This helps in wealth creation for future goals.

Use mutual funds for retirement, child education, and long-term goals.

Finally

You are making a big decision. But you are asking right questions.

Loan of Rs. 65 lakh is not small. But manageable with discipline.

Keep EMI under 40% of income. Keep SIP going if income allows.

Build buffer funds, insurance, and stay calm under pressure.

Always seek expert advice, not emotional suggestions.

Review financial plan yearly to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I'm a single mother,31 years old. Previously didn't take any loans or credit cards. I have no EMIs. I have zero knowledge about loans, interest rates and cibil score. But I am a co applicant for my sister's educational loan. Every month her EMI is deducting from my salary account. I'm a state government employee. Now i want to take home loan. Am i eligible for the loan or not? Somebody said I'm ineligible because of being co applicant . Is that true? Can any one help me? Please guide me in this. TIA!
Ans: You are strong and responsible as a single mother. Being a state government employee also gives you a stable income profile. You are taking care of your sister's education too. That is truly inspiring. Let me guide you step-by-step.

We will look at this from a 360-degree angle.

Your Current Financial Status

You are 31 years old.

You are a single mother with one income.

You are a state government employee with fixed monthly income.

You have never used credit cards or personal loans before.

You have no EMIs under your own name.

You are a co-applicant for your sister’s education loan.

Her EMI is getting deducted from your salary account.

You now want to apply for a home loan.

Understanding Co-Applicant Role in Loan

A co-applicant shares full responsibility of the loan.

Even if loan is for your sister, your name is on it.

If EMI gets delayed, it affects your CIBIL score.

EMI from your salary shows loan obligation on your name.

Banks see co-applicant loan as your financial liability.

It reduces your loan eligibility for new loans.

Will This Affect Your Home Loan Eligibility?

Yes, but not fully.

Being co-applicant does reduce home loan eligibility.

It doesn’t mean you are fully ineligible.

Banks still give home loans if you meet other conditions.

You need good salary, job stability, and repayment capacity.

Co-applicant EMI affects only the eligible loan amount.

It doesn’t completely stop you from getting a home loan.

Understand CIBIL Score

CIBIL score shows your past loan behaviour.

It ranges from 300 to 900.

A score above 750 is good.

If EMI is paid on time, your score stays strong.

If EMI gets delayed, your score drops.

Since EMI is from your account, your score will be affected.

You can check your CIBIL score online once for free.

What Should You Do Next?

First check your CIBIL score online.

Make sure EMI of your sister's loan is on time every month.

If not, talk to your sister and shift EMI from her account.

Talk to your bank and see if co-applicant can be removed.

This can be done if your sister gets a job and takes over.

Till then, EMI should not be missed even once.

Home Loan Application Readiness

Keep your salary slips for last 6 months.

Keep your Form 16 or income tax returns for last 2 years.

Show all bank statements of last 6–12 months.

Maintain a clean account without missed EMI or charges.

Keep a letter from your department showing your employment is permanent.

This increases your trust with banks.

How to Improve Loan Eligibility

Try to reduce other liabilities from your side.

If possible, shift EMI of sister’s loan to her account.

Avoid taking new loans or credit cards now.

Keep your savings steady in bank account.

Build an emergency fund of 6 months’ expenses.

Keep your CIBIL score above 750 through good discipline.

What Home Loan Size Can You Expect?

This depends on income, EMI burden, and credit history.

Since one EMI is already on you, your eligibility is lower.

Some banks may offer 60%–70% of your usual eligibility.

You can still get Rs. 20–25 lakh loan, or more if salary is high.

Try to apply jointly with another earning family member if possible.

Should You Take Loan Now or Wait?

If sister’s EMI is near completion, wait for a few months.

Your score and loan eligibility will improve after closing that loan.

If house need is urgent, you may proceed with reduced loan amount.

Be ready to contribute more from your savings.

Other Things to Keep in Mind

Always take home loan with fixed EMI and term.

Don’t go for variable interest if your income is fixed.

Ask bank to give EMI within 40% of your take-home salary.

Never cross 50% of your salary in total EMIs.

Always buy house for living, not as investment.

Don’t plan to sell it later for profit.

Avoid taking too big loan for a very big house.

Avoid These Mistakes

Don’t apply with too many banks at once.

Each enquiry affects your credit score.

Don’t sign as co-applicant again unless you are fully responsible.

Don’t give blank cheques or sign papers without knowing full terms.

Don’t ignore your CIBIL score ever again.

Should You Take Credit Card?

You may take one credit card now.

Use it for small monthly expenses only.

Always pay full amount before due date.

This will slowly build a better credit profile.

Don’t use credit card for shopping or cash advance.

What If You Are Rejected for Home Loan?

Ask reason in writing from bank.

Apply only after fixing the problem.

Wait 3–6 months and apply again after improving credit score.

Do not panic or feel discouraged.

Good financial behaviour gives second chance easily.

Speak to Bank Official Before Applying

Visit your bank branch and talk openly.

Share about co-applicant status and EMI from your account.

Ask them to pre-check your eligibility before formal application.

They can give better clarity on your chances.

Benefits of Being Government Employee

Job security is a big plus for loan approval.

Banks feel safe to lend to you.

You get lower interest rates than private job holders.

Your loan processing is often quicker too.

Best Approach for You Now

Start with CIBIL check and gather documents.

Keep EMI of sister’s loan regular.

Try to move EMI to her account if possible.

Apply for loan amount based on your current salary.

Don’t aim for too big house if loan eligibility is lower.

Stay patient, plan ahead, and act with confidence.

Finally

You are already doing great by managing home and family.

Your financial discipline will take you ahead.

You can get home loan with planning and right steps.

Co-applicant status affects but does not stop loan approval.

Stay informed, stay cautious and stay positive.

Your journey to homeownership is possible with right guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I am 39 years old with monthly in-hand salary of 1.55 lacs. I have 20 lacs in PPF 17 lacs in 4 mutual funds investing 33 thousand per month. 12 lacs in EPF. 6 lacs in ssy on name of my daughter she is 8 years now. 3 lacs in NPS. My wife is govt teacher earning 90 thousand per month. she has 20 lacs in in NPS, 20 in PPF. We have purchased a builder floor in Delhi in ~2021 for 45 lacs. in 2024 we purchased an office space in Delhi for 86 lacs in year 2024. I am getting 13 thousand as rent from builder floor and 30000 as rent from office space. I want to sell builder floor and purchase a home to move in it cost me around 1.4 CR for this i might have to take a gome loan of 80 lacs i am worried to rake this bug loan. looking at my financial bg what is your opinion and do you suggest me to take this home loan.
Ans: You have done well in building strong financial pillars. This kind of diversified base offers solid long-term stability.

Now let us evaluate your current situation and future decision about the home purchase and possible home loan from a complete 360-degree angle.

Current Financial Snapshot

You earn Rs. 1.55 lakhs every month in-hand.

Your wife earns Rs. 90,000 every month as a government teacher.

You have Rs. 17 lakhs in mutual funds with Rs. 33,000 SIP monthly.

Rs. 20 lakhs in PPF under your name.

Rs. 12 lakhs in EPF corpus.

Rs. 6 lakhs in Sukanya Samriddhi for your 8-year-old daughter.

Rs. 3 lakhs in NPS.

Wife has Rs. 20 lakhs in NPS and Rs. 20 lakhs in PPF.

You earn Rs. 13,000 rent from builder floor.

Rs. 30,000 rent from office space.

Office space was bought for Rs. 86 lakhs in 2024.

Builder floor was bought for Rs. 45 lakhs in 2021.

You are now planning to sell this builder floor.

Planning to buy a house for Rs. 1.4 crore to live in.

You might need Rs. 80 lakh loan for this new house.

Real Estate Exposure Assessment

You already own an office space.

You also own a builder floor.

Real estate already forms a significant part of your portfolio.

Rental yield from both properties is quite low.

Current builder floor gives just Rs. 13,000 rent per month.

Office gives Rs. 30,000, which is acceptable but still below 5% yield.

Please note, capital appreciation in real estate is not assured.

Unlike mutual funds, real estate lacks liquidity and diversification.

Any property resale also involves high transaction cost and time.

Avoid viewing real estate as an investment option going forward.

Loan Burden Analysis

You are considering an Rs. 80 lakh home loan.

Your net family income is Rs. 2.45 lakhs per month.

Current rental income is Rs. 43,000 in total.

A loan of Rs. 80 lakh over 20 years could mean EMI around Rs. 70,000–75,000 monthly.

This will take 30% of your monthly income directly.

That will reduce cash availability for investment, education and emergencies.

EMI pressure can limit future financial flexibility and stress your budget.

You already have good passive income sources and strong savings.

Investment Portfolio Review

Your mutual fund investments of Rs. 17 lakhs are well managed.

Monthly SIP of Rs. 33,000 is a good sign of discipline.

Avoid investing directly in mutual funds without guidance.

Regular funds through MFD with Certified Financial Planner offer better value.

Direct funds can create confusion and poor exit strategy.

A well-guided regular plan keeps emotions and wrong timing out.

Continue mutual fund SIP and increase annually if possible.

Your PPF, EPF and SSY are secure and tax-efficient debt components.

NPS offers long-term benefit, but only for retirement planning.

Avoid depending on NPS for medium term goals.

Family Goal Planning

Your daughter is 8 years old.

You will need funds for her higher education in next 8–10 years.

House EMI for Rs. 80 lakh will reduce your ability to save for her.

Buying a bigger house now may delay wealth creation for future goals.

Stay focused on education, retirement and medical security first.

Options to Reduce Loan Size

Consider using part of your investments to reduce loan size.

Selling builder floor can give you approx. Rs. 45–55 lakhs.

Use that as down payment to reduce loan to Rs. 60–65 lakhs.

Liquidate only what is not long-term goal linked.

Do not touch PPF, EPF or SSY for home down payment.

If required, pause SIP for 12–18 months, but resume early.

Also consider partially using NPS if allowed after 60 years of age.

Emergency Fund and Contingency Review

Do you have 6–9 months of expenses saved as emergency fund?

With EMI of Rs. 70,000, you must have Rs. 3–5 lakhs as cash or liquid funds.

Keep this amount safe for job loss, health emergencies or family needs.

Emergency fund is the most ignored but crucial safety net.

Cash Flow Insight

Monthly in-hand income is Rs. 2.45 lakhs from both of you.

Rent adds another Rs. 43,000.

This makes Rs. 2.88 lakhs income per month.

Monthly SIP is Rs. 33,000.

Proposed EMI will be around Rs. 70,000.

This leaves enough for lifestyle and other expenses.

Still, it is always better to avoid unnecessary big EMI burden.

Suggestions Before Buying Home

Wait for 6–9 months if possible.

Save more for bigger down payment.

Try to bring loan down to Rs. 60 lakhs or less.

Avoid touching investments made for retirement or daughter.

If selling builder floor gives Rs. 50+ lakhs, go ahead with plan.

Compare ready-to-move house vs. under-construction options.

Do not rush just because property prices are rising.

Mental Peace vs. Financial Logic

Owning a house gives mental satisfaction and stability.

But, it should not disturb other goals.

You are already doing very well financially.

Adding Rs. 80 lakh loan may disturb this healthy balance.

Take a house loan only if it fits into your life, not to match society.

You should feel free, not stuck, because of EMI pressure.

Risk Checkpoints

Are you adequately insured for life and health?

Do you have term insurance covering 15–20 times of your salary?

Are you and your family covered under good health insurance?

These are non-negotiable before taking any big home loan.

Tax Angle Awareness

Home loan interest gives tax benefit under section 24.

Principal repaid is allowed under section 80C.

But benefits should not be the only reason to take loan.

Focus on net wealth creation after EMI and opportunity cost.

Final Insights

You are financially disciplined and have built solid base.

Buying a home is a personal decision.

But taking Rs. 80 lakh loan now is not ideal.

Try to reduce loan by higher down payment.

Prioritise daughter’s education, retirement and financial freedom.

Continue mutual funds SIP and avoid real estate-based investing.

Talk to a Certified Financial Planner for customised step-by-step execution plan.

Focus on long-term compounding with stability and peace of mind.

You are on the right track. Just be careful not to over-leverage.

Smart financial choices today will give more peace tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Hello I am 36 years old, married blessed with 2 daughters. My wife is also earning, she is taking care of kids education currently. I have an ongoing home loan with current outstanding loan of 70L. My current EMI is close to 63K per month. Remaining Tenure 205 months. My take home in-hand salary is around 1.7L per annum. So apart from EMI, house expenses+ giving money to the family comes to around 50K per month. I have started investing around 45k per month as SIP. My current investments into SIP is around 15L. My aim is to be debt free . Is it good idea to reduce the loan with this SIP investment?
Ans: You are 36 years old, married, and father of two daughters. Your wife is working and currently managing the children’s education. You are repaying a home loan with Rs. 70 lakh outstanding. The EMI is Rs. 63,000 per month, and the tenure left is 205 months. Your monthly in-hand salary is Rs. 1.7 lakh. After EMI and family expenses of Rs. 50,000, you are still investing Rs. 45,000 per month as SIP. Your total SIP corpus is Rs. 15 lakh.

You want to become debt-free. You are wondering if it is a good idea to use your SIP corpus to reduce the loan.

Let us evaluate your situation from all angles.



Income and Expenses Review
You have Rs. 1.7 lakh monthly salary. That is a decent and stable income.



Rs. 63,000 goes as EMI. Rs. 50,000 for household and family support.



This leaves you with Rs. 57,000 per month.



Out of this, you are investing Rs. 45,000 SIP per month.



That means you are managing well and maintaining savings discipline.



Excellent financial behaviour. Most families cannot save this much.



SIP Investment Progress
You already built Rs. 15 lakh through SIPs. That’s a great start.



You are in the habit of regular saving. This is your biggest strength.



SIPs are long-term wealth creators. The key is consistency.



If you stay invested, this corpus will grow significantly over time.



But you are now considering redeeming it to reduce home loan.



Let us understand both sides clearly.



Home Loan Status
Rs. 70 lakh loan outstanding. 205 months remaining. EMI is Rs. 63,000.



This is a long-term liability. But it is a structured one.



You are not struggling with EMI. That is important to note.



Home loans come with tax benefits. Interest and principal both give deductions.



It helps reduce your taxable income.



Reducing this loan sounds good emotionally, but may not be best financially.



Should You Use SIP Corpus to Prepay Loan?
Let us evaluate this carefully.



Using Rs. 15 lakh from SIP to reduce loan will bring down EMI or tenure.



But it will stop the compounding of that Rs. 15 lakh.



SIP in mutual funds has potential to deliver higher returns than loan interest.



Over long-term, equity mutual funds grow faster than the cost of a loan.



So keeping SIP invested gives better wealth growth.



You will also lose liquidity if you prepay loan. That’s a risk.



In case of job loss or emergency, you can’t get money back from loan.



But SIP corpus is accessible if really needed.



So using SIP to reduce loan is not advisable at this stage.



Your loan EMI is not hurting your budget. So you can continue as is.



What Can Be Done Instead?
You can follow a balanced and flexible strategy.



Continue your Rs. 45,000 SIP. Do not stop it.



Split this SIP amount into growth-oriented and hybrid mutual funds.



Use actively managed funds. Avoid index funds. Index funds follow market blindly.



In down markets, they fall equally. No protection during correction.



Actively managed funds aim to reduce downside and find better growth.



Choose regular plans via a Certified Mutual Fund Distributor working with a Certified Financial Planner.



Direct funds don’t offer advice or review. You will miss strategic help.



Regular plans come with personalised support and ongoing monitoring.



That is more valuable than slightly lower expense ratio.



Use part of your growing SIP corpus later for home loan prepayment in 4-5 years.



This way you benefit from compounding and debt reduction.



Debt Freedom Goal – A Step-by-Step Plan
You want to become debt-free. That’s a powerful goal. Let’s plan for it.



Don’t aim to close full loan immediately. Plan for a staged prepayment.



Every 3 to 5 years, use part of your corpus to reduce principal.



This shortens loan tenure and reduces interest burden.



At the same time, keep investing parallelly.



Maintain a clear balance between long-term investment and debt reduction.



Avoid emotional decisions. Focus on long-term financial logic.



Reinvest bonuses or surplus into mutual funds. Use them later for bulk prepayment.



Avoid pulling SIP corpus unless you have a shortfall in emergencies.



You can use part of SIP corpus to prepay loan when it crosses Rs. 25 to 30 lakh.



Emergency Fund and Liquidity
Do you have an emergency fund? If not, create one soon.



Keep 6 months’ expenses as reserve. Use liquid or ultra-short-term funds.



Do not invest emergency fund in equity. Keep it separate.



Emergency fund gives peace and safety. Never use it for loan prepayment.



Child Education and Family Planning
Your wife is handling kids’ education. That gives you flexibility.



In a few years, education costs will rise. Plan early.



Use goal-based investing for each child’s milestone.



SIPs should be mapped to each goal. Use separate folios if needed.



Review each goal with a Certified Financial Planner once a year.



Do not mix children’s education fund with loan prepayment plans.



Keep goals separate for clarity and better management.



Insurance Protection Check
Do you have a term life cover? Make sure it’s 10x your yearly income.



Home loan is big. Your family needs safety if anything happens.



Do not rely on ULIPs or endowment plans. They give poor cover and low returns.



If you hold such policies, consider surrendering. Reinvest that money in mutual funds.



Health insurance is a must for you and family.



Even if your employer provides cover, keep personal cover too.



It helps after job switch or retirement.



Tax Planning Insight
You can claim Rs. 1.5 lakh under 80C for home loan principal.



Claim interest up to Rs. 2 lakh under section 24.



SIP in ELSS mutual fund also gives 80C benefit.



But don’t invest just for tax saving. See overall returns too.



Keep documentation ready for all claims.



Final Insights
You are already on the right track. You are managing EMI, expenses, and still investing. That shows discipline.



Using SIP corpus now to reduce loan is not the best decision.



Continue investing. Let compounding build your wealth. Use partial corpus in future for prepayment.



Stay invested in regular mutual fund plans through Certified MFDs associated with CFPs.



Avoid index and direct funds. They lack guidance, risk control, and personalised support.



Build a strong base with emergency fund, term insurance, and goal-based SIPs.



You are young. Your income is growing. Let time and planning work for you.



You can become debt-free and financially secure within 8 to 10 years.



Stay focused. Review once a year. Avoid panic or shortcuts.



You are doing great. Just stay steady.



Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Money
Sir, I am single earning mother aged 54 years government job earning take home salary 1.20 lacs. Son 24 years studying. He will take another two years for completion. I am having a total loan of 35 lacs i.e personal loan and home loan. Took a personal loan for puchase of land. I feel I made a mistake by taking huge loan and paying emi. Is my decision right or I should not have opted for taking loan. Rather I should have invested. At present I don't have any savings. But I will get a good amount of pension. Is my decision right
Ans: You are a single mother, 54 years old, working in a government job, and earning Rs. 1.20 lakhs take-home every month. You are managing your son’s education and a Rs. 35 lakh loan that includes a personal loan for land purchase and a home loan. You have no savings currently but are expecting a decent pension.

This shows your strong commitment and sense of responsibility. You have already supported your child up to age 24. That is a great achievement.

Let us go step-by-step and assess your current situation fully, and work on how to improve it.



Income and Expense Structure
You earn Rs. 1.20 lakhs per month. This is a stable government salary.



A part of this goes to EMI. Remaining is spent on household and child’s needs.



You currently have no savings. This puts some stress on your financial safety.



You will have a good pension. That is a major strength.



Loan Analysis
You have a total loan of Rs. 35 lakhs. This includes a personal loan and a home loan.



Personal loans come with high interest. This can affect your cash flow.



Using personal loans for land purchase is not ideal. Land does not give regular income.



But the decision is already made. So now, focus on the next best steps.



Your loan is not a failure. It is a learning. You acted for your family.



What You Can Do Now
Let us plan from a 360-degree perspective. We will try to improve your financial life step by step.



1. Expense Management and Budgeting
List your monthly fixed expenses, EMI, household costs, and child-related costs.



Find areas to reduce or control expenses. Even Rs. 5,000 per month saving helps.



Avoid impulsive expenses. Say no to non-urgent purchases.



Build a clear budget and track it monthly.



Use a simple notebook or app to write down expenses.



2. Emergency Fund Creation
This is your first priority before investing.



Start saving Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 per month if possible.



Build an emergency fund equal to at least 3 to 6 months of monthly expenses.



Keep this fund in a liquid form. Use savings account or low-risk instruments.



Never touch this fund for regular expenses.



3. Loan Repayment Strategy
Focus on clearing the personal loan first. It has higher interest.



Do not try to pre-close the home loan unless cash flow allows.



Consider discussing with your bank if a restructuring option is possible.



If you get any bonus or arrears, use it for part pre-payment.



Never miss any EMI. Your credit score should stay strong.



4. Investment Planning
Once emergency fund is ready, and loan EMI is manageable, start investing small amounts.



Start SIPs in mutual funds through regular plans using an experienced MFD who works with a CFP.



Do not choose direct plans. They may seem cheaper but come with no guidance or help.



Direct plan investors miss rebalancing and timely action during market ups and downs.



Regular plans through MFDs give you advice, access to portfolio review, and strategy.



Also, avoid index funds. They copy the market. But they don’t manage risk in bad times.



Actively managed funds by professionals aim to protect value in market falls.



Invest slowly and steadily. Focus on long-term compounding.



Start with Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 SIP once emergency fund is ready.



5. Child’s Education Planning
Your son is 24 years old. He will complete studies in 2 years.



Until then, he is financially dependent. Plan your expenses around this timeline.



Once he starts earning, your monthly cost burden will reduce.



Encourage him to take responsibility for small costs soon.



Share your situation honestly with him. He will understand.



6. Retirement and Pension Planning
You are nearing retirement in a few years. So building post-retirement safety is key.



Your government pension is a great advantage. It gives income for life.



Even after pension starts, keep investing part of it in mutual funds.



Avoid traditional insurance-based investments. They offer low returns.



If you hold any ULIP or traditional endowment policy, review and consider surrendering.



Shift the surrendered amount into mutual funds in a staggered way.



Never buy products that promise returns with insurance. They do not beat inflation.



7. Insurance Protection
Ensure you have a term life insurance policy until your son becomes independent.



If not, take one now. Term plan is low-cost and gives high cover.



Once your son becomes financially independent, you may not need life insurance.



Maintain your health insurance even after retirement. Renew it without break.



Ensure the policy has enough sum insured. Top-up if needed.



8. Future Asset Management
Once your loans are cleared and pension starts, shift focus to asset creation.



Monthly SIPs should continue even after retirement. This keeps your money growing.



Use a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and hybrid mutual funds.



Review your portfolio once a year with a CFP.



Invest with goal-based approach. Short-term needs in safe options. Long-term goals in equity.



Do not chase high returns. Focus on balance between safety and growth.



9. Legal and Estate Planning
Make a simple Will. Mention your assets and your son as nominee or heir.



Ensure your bank accounts, insurance, and investments have proper nominations.



This helps in smooth transfer and avoids future disputes.



10. Emotional and Mental Peace
Money issues can feel heavy. But you have already done a lot.



Be kind to yourself. You have raised your son with full commitment.



Every step from now should be calm and planned.



You don’t need to compare with others. Your life is unique.



Even small savings from now can grow big in few years.



Finally
You have taken a bold step in raising a child single-handedly while handling job and loans. That alone shows your strength. While taking a personal loan for land may not have been ideal, your intent was to secure the future. Do not feel regret. Use the lessons and focus on financial recovery.

Start with small consistent savings. Reduce personal loan burden first. Avoid new debt. Begin SIPs once emergency fund is ready. Use only actively managed mutual funds via regular plans with a certified mutual fund distributor who works with a CFP. Build your confidence again.

Remember, it’s not too late. Financial peace is still possible. Plan, act, and stay steady.



Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8493 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I am 28 M single, have a salary of 40k,how would I go about making a saving so that I am settled at 35-38 years of age.I am not fully knowledgeable of stocks and other options, personal spending is around 20k per month out of the 40k on the salary.
Ans: It's commendable that you're thinking ahead about your financial future. At 28, with a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 and personal expenses around Rs. 20,000, you have a solid foundation to build upon. Let's explore a comprehensive approach to help you become financially settled by the age of 35-38.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Income and Expenses: You have a surplus of Rs. 20,000 each month after expenses.

Age Advantage: Being 28 gives you a 7-10 year horizon to plan and invest.

Financial Goals: Aiming to be financially settled by 35-38 is a realistic and achievable goal.

Building a Strong Financial Foundation
Emergency Fund: Aim to save at least 3-6 months' worth of expenses, i.e., Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 1,20,000.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health coverage to protect against unforeseen medical expenses.

Life Insurance: Consider term insurance if you have dependents or plan to have in the future.

Strategic Savings and Investments
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): Start with a monthly SIP of Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000 in diversified mutual funds

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Invest Rs. 1,500 to Rs. 2,000 monthly for long-term, tax-free returns.

Recurring Deposits (RDs): Allocate Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 3,000 monthly for short-term goals.

Enhancing Financial Literacy
Educational Resources: Read books and articles on personal finance to deepen your understanding.

Workshops and Seminars: Attend financial planning workshops to gain practical insights.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Seek professional advice to tailor a plan specific to your goals.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan
Regular Reviews: Assess your financial plan every 6 months to ensure alignment with your goals.

Adjust Contributions: Increase your investment amounts as your income grows.

Stay Informed: Keep abreast of market trends and adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Final Insights
By consistently saving and investing wisely, you can achieve financial stability by 35-38. Starting early and staying disciplined are key to building wealth over time. Remember, financial planning is a continuous process that adapts to your evolving life circumstances.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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