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Betrayed After 15-Year Relationship: How to Cope with Trauma and Broken Promises?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
veena Question by veena on Aug 24, 2024Hindi
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hi i have been into relationship with my bf for as long as 15 yrs.. we shared a beautiful relationship but he was never fulfilling his commitment towards marriage almost for 15 years he is just saying he will marry in the coming months but never in any month we got married everytime we use to book n dan he is to cancel the dates saying that he is scared want to wait for sometime... once he told me that due to age difference of 9 yrs (M older to him by 9 yrs) his family will not accept me...but still he is ready to get married to me n i was on his false promises ...But suddenly 4 months back he got married to someone else..and i was not aware of anything because he used to meet me everyday n suddenly one day i saw him as a bride groom getting married to someone.. i dont know now how to cope with this trauma.. i see myself dying everyday..i dont understand to what extent he has committed this crime..& y did he did this.. i used to give choice also to say yes or no but not to cheat in this way...

Ans: Hello Veena,

I understand how painful it can be. Please rest assured you lost nothing. A man like that can be no one's gain. Looking behind will not do you any good. There is no method to this madness; some people do not care if their actions hurt others. You will find no answer to your "why." Now, the only thing you can do is move on gracefully with your life. Make something out of it. It will be painful for some time, I am not going to lie. But every time you think "Why did he leave," just counter it with "Thank god he left." You do not deserve such a man; in fact, no one does. Remember that. It will help you through this tough time.

Best Wishes.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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Hi mam I loved a man who i thought a good guy for 5 yrs later i came to know he is cheating me only for physical not to marry where he told we wil have future together but i made problem and asked him to marry me but his family and he influenced with his moms decision What shal I do i don't know what to do i thought he is my life now his mom plan him to marry someone else.. What should i do
Ans: Hello Lavanya
It's important to take care of yourself and focus on what you need and deserve in a relationship.

Firstly, give yourself some time to process what has happened. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These emotions are natural when someone you trusted has let you down. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned.

Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can be incredibly helpful during this time. They can offer support and a listening ear as you work through your feelings and decide your next steps.

It's crucial to recognize your own worth and what you deserve in a relationship. You deserve someone who respects, loves, and is committed to you wholeheartedly. If this man has shown that he isn't capable of that, then it might be best to let him go, even though it's difficult.

Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you regain your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who support and care for you.

In time, you'll find clarity and strength. Remember, this experience doesn't define you or your future. You deserve a loving and honest relationship, and by prioritizing yourself now, you'll be in a better position to find it in the future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2024
Relationship
In 2023 I had met a boy .We have become friends and later on we developed feeling for each other.Then we decided to get into relationship and that would be temporary because I belong to orthodox family and he was not interested in marriage.We went through physical things and everything was fine until I started getting matches for my marriage.Then we had fight and later on the match got cancelled due to groom's intrest.still I was in relationship.Then I got another match in 2024april.I agreed to the match and said it's time we need to stop our relationship.He didn't agree for that and said I need to stay in the relationship until may or else he will send our private pictures to my family and fiancee family.Due to some reason I couldn't meet him in the may month so he extended upto aug .In between he has tortured me that I should not talk with my fiancee also forced me for physical things .I am extremely devastated and tried to take my life for three times.Later on he increased time until October and I lost my patience told my cousin brother about this in September.He spoke with the guy and said you should move on she is not interested in you now One day he texted my mom about us and I got extremely tensed and worried so I have spoke with his parents also my brother did.They said they will talk with him and I felt it was relief .Then a week later he started txtng me again that I have cheated him and he will commit suicide and write my name as reason .I didn't reply for that .Later on he again sent me message that He loves me and want to marry me .I said I don't want to marry you.Now am feeling extremely scared and tensed as marriage is in November and he would stop my marriage.Please help me I don't know what to do.I don't want him in my life as he has tortured me a lot.I am extremely scared of him now I have lost all my feelings.Also he has all my family contacts and my fiance contracts.Please help me .pleaseee
Ans: What you’re describing is a clear form of manipulation and abuse, and no one deserves to be treated this way. First of all, it’s crucial to recognize that his behavior—using threats, emotional blackmail, and manipulation to control you—is not only wrong, but it's also abusive. This situation is likely causing you a lot of fear, anxiety, and distress, and it’s completely understandable that you feel overwhelmed. But you don’t have to face this alone, and there are steps you can take to protect yourself.

The first thing I would advise is to take your power back emotionally. His threats are designed to make you feel like you’re trapped, but the truth is, he’s the one in the wrong, and what he’s doing can be dealt with. I understand that he’s threatening to expose your private photos and contact your family, which feels terrifying, but this is actually a form of blackmail and is illegal. The important thing to remember is that you are not responsible for his actions, nor his threats, and you have every right to protect your life, your dignity, and your peace of mind.

It’s also clear that he’s trying to emotionally manipulate you by saying he will harm himself if you leave. This is another form of abuse, and it’s important to recognize that you cannot control or be responsible for his decisions or behavior. People who make threats like this often do so as a way to trap the other person, but it is not your burden to carry. If you continue to allow his threats to control your decisions, it could lead to further emotional and psychological harm.

Now, I know you’re scared, especially with your marriage coming up in November, and you’re worried that he might do something to sabotage it. This fear is completely valid, but you don’t have to let him hold this power over you. It’s really important to bring in support from trusted people in your life. You’ve already involved your cousin, which was a great step, and you’ve tried to communicate with his parents, but it’s clear that more needs to be done.

At this point, I would recommend involving someone in a position of authority, whether that’s the police, a legal professional, or even a women’s protection organization in your area. In many countries, including India, there are specific laws protecting women from blackmail, harassment, and abuse. If you don’t feel comfortable going to the police on your own, you can ask your cousin, brother, or another trusted person to support you through this process. You can explain that this individual is threatening you with your private photos and trying to manipulate you into staying in a relationship, which is a crime.

On an emotional level, I know how hard it must be to face this kind of stress, especially when you’re preparing for a new chapter in your life with your fiancé. But it’s crucial to not let fear paralyze you. Instead, take it one step at a time. By telling the truth to the right people, such as your cousin or fiancé, you’ll likely find more support than you realize. I know it feels like everything might collapse if he exposes your relationship, but staying silent often gives him more power. The moment you start taking action, you will regain control over your life.

I would also recommend considering some professional emotional support for yourself, like speaking with a therapist or counselor. It sounds like this has taken a heavy toll on your mental health, and you’ve already been pushed to such an extreme point that you’ve considered self-harm. This is a sign that you need emotional support to help you cope with the trauma of what you’ve been through.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi Ravi sir, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Sir, I would like to invest 70 lacs in Mutual funds. Also I would like to go for SWP on this amount for Rs 50000 per month. Please suggest a plan for investment
Ans: Your plan to invest Rs. 70 lakh in mutual funds and withdraw Rs. 50,000 per month through SWP is a smart approach. It allows for both capital appreciation and regular income. A well-structured plan will ensure financial stability and long-term wealth preservation.

Key Considerations for Your Investment
Balancing Growth and Stability
Your investment should generate long-term growth while providing stable monthly withdrawals.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals
A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) should minimise tax impact while ensuring liquidity.

Inflation Protection
The investment should outpace inflation to maintain your purchasing power over time.

Risk Management
A mix of asset classes will provide stability during market fluctuations.

Asset Allocation Strategy
A well-diversified portfolio will help balance risk and returns.

Equity Mutual Funds – 40-50% Allocation

Ensures long-term capital growth.
Helps beat inflation over time.
Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.
Hybrid Mutual Funds – 20-30% Allocation

Provides a mix of equity and debt for balanced growth.
Ensures stability during market downturns.
Debt Mutual Funds – 20-30% Allocation

Provides steady income and capital preservation.
Reduces portfolio volatility.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) Strategy
Start Withdrawals After One Year

Ensures long-term capital appreciation.
Avoids short-term capital gains tax.
Withdraw from Debt or Hybrid Funds First

Ensures equity portion continues to grow.
Reduces volatility risk.
Rebalance Portfolio Annually

Adjust allocations based on market conditions.
Ensure sustainability of monthly withdrawals.
Risk Management Measures
Emergency Fund

Maintain 6-12 months of expenses in liquid assets.
Avoids distress selling during market downturns.
Health Insurance

Ensure adequate coverage for medical emergencies.
Protects investment corpus from unexpected expenses.
Periodic Review

Monitor performance regularly.
Adjust allocations as needed.
Finally
Your investment approach should focus on long-term growth and financial security. A structured SWP strategy will provide stability while allowing your corpus to grow. With the right asset allocation and periodic rebalancing, you can achieve a stress-free and financially secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am 45 years old and plan to retire in the next five years. My financial portfolio includes shares and mutual funds worth ₹65 lakh, a provident fund of ₹30 lakh, a PPF of ₹15 lakh, and gold valued at approximately ₹30 lakh. I also own a house in a metro city and earn ₹18 lakh per annum from my salary, along with ₹70,000 per year in agricultural income. My monthly expenses are around ₹1 lakh. My wife is a homemaker, and we have a child with autism. Given these factors, is my current financial position sufficient for a secure retirement in five years, considering future expenses, inflation, and my family's long-term needs? If not, what steps should I take to strengthen my financial plan?
Ans: You are in a strong financial position. However, with a child who has autism, future expenses may be higher than usual. A structured approach will help ensure financial security for your family.

Current Financial Position
Investments in shares and mutual funds: Rs. 65 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 30 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakh
Gold holdings: Rs. 30 lakh
House ownership: Fully owned in a metro city
Annual salary income: Rs. 18 lakh
Agricultural income: Rs. 70,000 per year
Monthly expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Your total liquid assets (excluding real estate) amount to Rs. 1.4 crore. This corpus needs to sustain you and your family after retirement.

Key Challenges
High monthly expenses: At Rs. 1 lakh per month, you need a large retirement corpus.
Inflation impact: Expenses will increase over time, requiring a growing income stream.
Child’s long-term care: Special care and education may be lifelong commitments.
Single earning member: Your wife is a homemaker, meaning the entire financial burden is on you.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Your current expenses are Rs. 12 lakh per year. Post-retirement, expenses will continue and grow due to inflation. Assuming an increase of 6% annually, you will need a significant corpus to sustain your family for 30+ years.

Steps to Strengthen Your Financial Plan
1. Increase Investments for the Next 5 Years
Your surplus savings should go into investments.
Invest an additional amount monthly to build a larger corpus.
A mix of safe and high-growth investments will be ideal.
2. Create a Separate Health and Emergency Fund
Medical costs rise with age.
Allocate Rs. 25-30 lakh for medical emergencies.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for yourself, your wife, and your child.
3. Ensure a Dedicated Fund for Your Child’s Future
Set aside a separate corpus for your child's lifelong care.
A mix of fixed-income instruments and mutual funds will work best.
Consider setting up a trust or legal arrangement for long-term financial security.
4. Reduce Gold Holdings and Shift to More Liquid Investments
Gold is not an income-generating asset.
Convert some gold into investments that generate steady returns.
Use this amount to strengthen your retirement corpus.
5. Plan for a Reliable Passive Income Post-Retirement
Your portfolio should generate at least Rs. 1.2-1.5 lakh per month post-retirement.
Fixed-income investments should cover a large portion of your monthly expenses.
Dividend-paying funds and debt instruments will help balance stability and growth.
6. Review and Adjust Your Portfolio Annually
Track expenses and portfolio performance.
Adjust asset allocation based on market conditions.
Reduce risk gradually as you approach retirement.
Finally
Your current financial position is strong, but you need additional investments to sustain your post-retirement life. The next five years are crucial. Focus on disciplined savings, strategic investments, and ensuring long-term care for your child. With the right approach, you can achieve a financially secure and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Hi ,I am 33 yr old living in Mumbai in heavy deposit of 8 lac with 6k per month rent and my in hand salary is 63000 per month ,I cannot save money as my 30 k goes to home (rent,food n all) 30k goes to credit card bill. I have PPF account of 32 k and have a SIP account but zero balance in SIP e as earlier I used to invest in there due to debt I am not able to invest anymore. I don't have mediclaim. Main reason I cannot save is my wife as a home loan of 25000 per month and she is not working currently as a housewife for which I cannot save. Kindly suggest how to overcome debt as every month I couldn't save any penny.
Ans: Your total in-hand salary is Rs. 63,000 per month.
Rs. 30,000 goes toward rent, food, and other household expenses.
Rs. 30,000 is paid toward credit card bills.
Your wife's home loan EMI is Rs. 25,000 per month.
No savings are possible due to high fixed expenses.
You have Rs. 32,000 in PPF but no active SIP.
You do not have health insurance.
Immediate Steps to Overcome Debt
1. Prioritise Debt Repayment

Stop using credit cards immediately.
Pay more than the minimum due on your credit card each month.
If possible, convert outstanding dues into an EMI to reduce interest.
Avoid taking further loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.
2. Restructure Household Budget

Reduce discretionary spending such as dining out, subscriptions, and luxury expenses.
Identify ways to cut rent or household costs.
Explore shifting to a slightly lower rental home to save a few thousand per month.
Control grocery, electricity, and entertainment expenses.
3. Increase Cash Flow

Your wife should consider part-time, freelance, or online work.
Even Rs. 15,000–20,000 per month from her side can help manage EMIs.
Sell any non-essential assets like gold, old electronics, or other valuables to clear some debt.
Building Financial Stability
1. Create an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least Rs. 10,000 monthly once debt is under control.
Keep 3–6 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
2. Restart Investments

Once debt is manageable, restart SIPs in mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Prioritise tax-saving options like PPF and ELSS once your financial situation improves.
3. Get Health Insurance

Buy a health insurance policy of at least Rs. 5–10 lakh for you and your wife.
This will prevent future medical emergencies from becoming financial burdens.
Final Insights
Your biggest challenge is high fixed expenses and credit card debt.
Cutting expenses and increasing household income can help reduce financial pressure.
Once debts are under control, focus on savings and investments.
Health insurance is a must to avoid unexpected medical costs.
Implementing these steps consistently will help you achieve financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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I save approx 90 thousand INR per month. Where should I invest it. I don't want to keep it saving account. This I save after monthly SIP of 30000. Please advice.
Ans: You already invest Rs 30,000 per month in SIPs.

You save Rs 90,000 per month after SIPs.

You want better returns than a savings account.

A clear investment plan will help in long-term wealth creation.

Key Factors Before Investing
Emergency Fund
Keep at least six months of expenses in liquid funds.

This ensures financial security in case of emergencies.

Short-Term Needs
Identify any expenses in the next 3 to 5 years.

Use safer instruments for short-term goals.

Long-Term Growth
Invest for wealth creation.

Balance between equity and debt based on risk appetite.

Investment Allocation for Rs 90,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 50,000 per month)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

This ensures long-term capital appreciation.

2. Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 20,000 per month)
Provides stability and diversification.

Useful for balancing equity risk.

Ideal for short-term needs.

3. Gold Investment (Rs 10,000 per month)
Gold helps in diversification.

Protects against inflation.

Invest in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds.

4. Fixed Income Instruments (Rs 10,000 per month)
Use PPF or fixed deposits for stability.

PPF is tax-free and offers long-term benefits.

Fixed deposits provide liquidity and security.

Additional Investment Considerations
Increase SIP Contributions
If your income increases, raise your SIPs.

This ensures long-term wealth growth.

Avoid Unnecessary Risks
Do not invest in stocks without research.

Avoid high-risk derivative trading.

Review Your Investments Regularly
Monitor your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance based on market conditions.

Final Insights
Invest based on goals and time horizon.

Equity for long-term growth, debt for stability.

Gold provides inflation protection.

A balanced approach ensures financial security.

Regular reviews improve investment efficiency.

A structured investment plan will help you grow wealth efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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HELLO SIR, SOME PEOPLE TAKE LOANS AGAINST MUTUAL FUNDS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET OR AGAIN IN MUTUAL FUNDS SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? THANKS.
Ans: Taking a loan against mutual funds and investing in stocks or mutual funds is risky. It can amplify gains, but it also increases losses. A structured approach is necessary before considering such a move.

Understanding Loan Against Mutual Funds
A loan against mutual funds allows borrowing against existing investments.

The lender provides funds based on the fund’s value.

Interest is charged on the borrowed amount.

The loan amount depends on the type of mutual fund.

Equity funds get a lower loan amount due to volatility.

Debt funds get a higher loan amount due to stability.

Key Risks of This Strategy
Market Risk
If markets fall, the value of mutual funds decreases.

The lender may ask for additional funds.

If unable to pay, the lender may sell mutual fund units.

Interest Burden
Interest charges reduce overall returns.

If investments do not perform well, losses increase.

Returns must be higher than the loan interest to make gains.

Liquidity Issues
Mutual funds remain pledged with the lender.

In an emergency, withdrawal is not possible.

This creates financial stress.

Compounding of Losses
Borrowing to invest increases risks.

If new investments lose value, losses multiply.

Debt burden increases if market returns are negative.

Potential Benefits (Only If Used Carefully)
Can provide liquidity without selling investments.

May work if investments give higher returns than loan interest.

Useful if markets are at a strong growth phase.

Suitable for short-term liquidity needs if repayment is quick.

Alternative and Safer Approaches
Use Emergency Fund Instead of a Loan
Always keep at least six months’ expenses as an emergency fund.

This avoids unnecessary borrowing.

Avoid Borrowing for Stock Market Investments
Investing with borrowed money is risky.

A market downturn can wipe out capital.

Never invest with money that is not owned.

Increase SIP Instead of Taking a Loan
A disciplined SIP approach creates wealth.

It avoids unnecessary interest payments.

Long-term investing in equity mutual funds provides better risk-adjusted returns.

Who Should Completely Avoid This Strategy?
Investors with no stable income.

Those with existing high-interest loans.

People without an emergency fund.

Investors with low risk tolerance.

Those new to stock markets or mutual funds.

Final Insights
Borrowing against mutual funds is a high-risk strategy.

Interest costs can reduce or wipe out potential gains.

It is only suitable for short-term liquidity needs.

Safer investment approaches provide better financial stability.

Building wealth through consistent savings and investing is a better strategy.

Avoid unnecessary risks and focus on sustainable wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir, I am a US Citizen with age 54.5 . Two kids , daughter already graduated and working with no education loan, Son is studying in IIT Chennai 2nd year. I have not invested in any stocks or MF. Current saving is US$1.0 million, with average returns of 5.5%, 3.5 Cr NRE FD with 7.5% return. Have around INR 40.0 L in ULIP plan. Around INR 2.0 Cr in term insurance with yearly payment of INR 1.3 L per year. Have two property in India giving me rent of INR 50,000/- per month. INR 1.0 CR in High value return ( 1.55 L/month). Have liability of 1.2 Cr. US$1.3 Million in 401(K) (as of today and I expect to grow 10% per year) . Real estate (Land/plots/commercials) investment in India is close to US$5.0 Million. My wife is already retired. I am planning on returning to India for good and do not wish to work anymore (My health is not permitting me any more) . My monthly expense is around INR 1.5 L/month and I already have a house fully paid in India. I do not wish to take lot of risk. Kindly suggest how should I manage my finance.
Ans: You have done well in building your wealth. Your financial assets and income sources are strong. You also have a well-settled daughter and a son studying at IIT Chennai.

Your total investments and assets provide stability. You have built a mix of USD savings, Indian fixed deposits, insurance, and rental income. You also have a large real estate portfolio.

Your goal is to return to India and live a financially stress-free life. You do not want to take high risks. Your monthly expenses are well covered, but financial planning will help optimize your assets.

Optimizing Your Existing Investments

Your financial assets generate steady returns. However, some areas need better allocation.

Your NRE FD of Rs. 3.5 crore earns 7.5%. This is a stable income source. Continue this but monitor rates.

Your USD 1.0 million savings generate 5.5% returns. This is reasonable, but consider diversifying some funds into low-risk Indian debt instruments.

Your ULIP worth Rs. 40 lakh may have high charges. Evaluate surrendering it and reinvesting in more efficient investment options.

Your high-value return investment of Rs. 1 crore provides Rs. 1.55 lakh per month. Ensure its safety and sustainability.

Your 401(K) of USD 1.3 million has strong potential growth at 10% annually. This should be retained for long-term wealth preservation.

Managing Your Liabilities

You have a liability of Rs. 1.2 crore. Clearing this should be a priority.

Use a portion of your savings to pay off the liability gradually.

Avoid withdrawing large sums from your 401(K) due to tax implications.

If the liability has a high interest rate, clearing it faster will improve cash flow.

Generating Stable Passive Income

Your current passive income sources include rent and high-value return investments. You need to strengthen this further for long-term stability.

Rental Income: Rs. 50,000 per month is useful. Ensure tenants are reliable and rent payments are timely.

Fixed Deposits: Continue keeping some funds in FDs for stable returns. However, diversify into other low-risk options.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your savings in well-managed debt mutual funds. These offer liquidity and steady returns.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) and RBI Bonds: Once eligible, you can allocate a portion of your funds to SCSS for secure interest income. RBI Bonds also provide stable earnings.

Reallocating Investments for Better Growth

Your portfolio is largely in fixed-income assets and real estate. This ensures stability but limits long-term growth. A better allocation will help protect your wealth while generating steady returns.

Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your USD savings and NRE FD maturity into actively managed mutual funds. These provide professional management and inflation-beating returns.

Balanced Allocation: A mix of conservative debt funds and well-managed equity mutual funds will ensure both safety and growth.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds provide average returns and do not adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted growth.

Gold ETFs: If interested in gold, opt for gold ETFs instead of physical gold. These are safer and avoid storage concerns.

Evaluating Insurance Coverage

Your term insurance cover of Rs. 2 crore is sufficient. However, the premium of Rs. 1.3 lakh per year should be reassessed.

If your dependents are financially secure, reducing coverage can free up funds.

Check if there are more cost-effective term insurance plans available.

Avoid insurance plans with investment components, as they have high costs and low returns.

Building a Medical Emergency Fund

Your wife is already retired, and your health is a concern. Medical expenses should be well covered.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have a strong health insurance policy covering hospitalization and critical illnesses.

Medical Emergency Fund: Keep at least Rs. 50 lakh liquid for medical emergencies. This can be in a fixed deposit or a liquid mutual fund.

Long-Term Care Planning: Consider plans that cover assisted living or home healthcare needs.

Tax Planning for NRI to Resident Transition

Your tax situation will change once you return to India permanently. Planning ahead will avoid unnecessary tax burdens.

NRE FDs: Interest earned is tax-free only while you are an NRI. After returning, they become taxable. Consider shifting funds accordingly.

Tax on Rental Income: Rental income in India is taxable. Utilize deductions like municipal taxes and standard deduction of 30%.

401(K) Withdrawals: Understand tax implications before withdrawing funds. Consult an expert to minimize tax liability.

Capital Gains on Real Estate: If selling property, plan reinvestment or capital gains exemption options wisely.

Estate Planning for a Secure Future

You have built significant wealth across different assets. Estate planning will ensure smooth transfer to your heirs.

Will Creation: Draft a clear will to distribute assets as per your wishes.

Nomination Updates: Ensure all bank accounts, mutual funds, and insurance policies have updated nominees.

Power of Attorney: If needed, assign a trusted person to manage finances in case of health issues.

Trust Formation: If required, consider a trust for seamless wealth transfer and tax efficiency.

Finally

You have created a strong financial foundation. With proper planning, you can enjoy a secure and stress-free retirement in India.

Your passive income sources largely cover expenses. A few adjustments will further strengthen financial security.

Managing liabilities, reallocating investments, and ensuring medical coverage are key priorities. With the right approach, your wealth will last for generations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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