Betrayed After 15-Year Relationship: How to Cope with Trauma and Broken Promises?

Hi Anu, I'm unable to decide what to do with my life like I'm totally stuck emotionally...I am having a 1.5 years relationship but I'm confused in that relationship to go forward or end....last year everything was ok...my boyfriend had a past which he shared me before starting of our relationship only...i accepted his past and only continued to move forward in our relationship....but his ex was in touch with him...when I was out of station they planned a team out with their mutual friends and I came to know after seeing their pics...he have explained the situation and I agreed that ....but somehow I couldn't accept the that...and it continuously triggered me...later his mother took the help of that girl for her personal things ....like she used to come to his house and I was not aware of it....when I questioned that he said it was his mom's choice she said the same to him when he asked his mom.... sometimes I had physical with him...from past 4 months we are not having any physical not even a kiss or touch ........my family is pressuring for marriage and he is still in career settling process....I'm unable to decide what to do ....i cannot trust any man further and I don't know I would be able to accept any man in future and start a family with.... please guide me correctly.... express your pov

Hai Anu I am a 40 year old woman living separate from my husband ,divorce proceedings ongoing after a long 12 years of believing his lies of making our life beautiful..now last two years he cheated me and my mother financially..he pledged my car without my permission to two people at a time and finally now I lost the car..he has built himself a large debt of nearing 1 crore..this was never forget me or my two girl kids ..we don't own a house nor did he buy us a car ..car I am using now is the one I have purchased on loan..I'm a Bank manager myself..my life is very frustrating and there was less physical relationship and finally he has asked me to use my fingers ..and after getting to know he has even borrowed money from my colleague I filed for divorce and already two hearings are over . I can never ever trust such a fraud who dared to put my signature in stamp paper while pledging my car.. and in the court I have made it very clear my decision of not going back to him but he keeps calling me and my colleagues daily and finally i had to block him.even in my office phone also he calls and i blocked him there also..I'm a person who wanted a beautiful partnership and family.this man destroyed everything..he don't even have a decent job and it was me who gave for his livelihood also ,then also he cheated me without any regret..now the situation is I had a class mate who is already divorced and he was a pillar of support for me during this crisis and eventually i fell for him and confessed my love for him..now he don't believe in marriage and I want a marriage.either him or no one else is my line of thought..what can I do to get him believe in marriage institution again..he too have confessed his feelings for me..after divorce I need a supportive partner ,I don't want to be alone in life..Anu please advise am I correct in my approach to life or not?

My boyfriend of last 2.5 years who is 25 years old and has a 11 years age gap with me has decided to get married to someone else as per families choice. I am writing to understand few things: we started of casually where i proposed to him. He initially hesitated and after thinking for few days, also wanted to start the relationship. Later time went by we became involved at deeper levels. We spent majority of the times together, have shared goals, we lookout for each other. He doesn't state his feelings very often. He takes care, enjoys spending time, we planned tris together, we know our families but not that we are involved. He takes care of many things and it was almost like a live-in. Now and then he used to come up and tell we should stop, I'll be like give us time when rhe thing about marriage comes we will see. Now the thing is initially when he wanted to leave he was telling we are like Radha and Krishna, now when i am standing my ground that i can't see him with another girl, he is telling i was never in love with you. He never tells i love you and i have accepted it that way. Now he is telling me that it was my thoughts that we are in love but he was never in love. Im a person well established in my field and holding 3 degrees , pursuing further Higher Education. He needed me during his studies, ive told it to him multiple times that you needed me when you had work. Ive inspired him to do things he never thought of. But now it is firing back. I was a mentor, a friend, a girlfriend, a cook, an everything. Where did i go wrong to think that it is love? What do i do? I feel jealous to see him with anyone. Please guide

Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.

I was in a relationship of 10 years.We both are from different states.Doing group a job in own psc.I was waiting to get married with him.There was a problem on him side that his elder brother not married due to no govt job still.And he is preparing.but I m the eldest sister among my 4 siblings,All are Waiting my marriage,after that they will marry . I am 34 still waiting for him.He told me to wait for him since last 10years.Everything was fine. But now I knew that he is physically with another girl.We faught alot .He said sorry alot and he said there was no sex between that girl ,only hug,forehead kiss and lip kiss.But the other girl is saying many times we have done sex.So what should I believe.?he told it will not happened again,but I can't tolerate that how he could be with others.i told this matter to her elder married sister only on his family.We both from hindu family but the new girl is from muslim community.I told my bf to talk with my parents about marriage assurance as he this elder sister told that it's not possible to marriage now before the boy elder brother till not get married after such betrayed.His sister told me to give one chance to her brother.and told again await 2 to 3 year for marriage.so I said talk to my parents for assurance because they are always tensed due to me.my age already crossed the marriage time,and still I m refuse to get married with others.but his family talked with my parents,and directly told to wait for minimum 2years,and told also we don't have problem for marriage if his son will agree,but it was confused statement that for my family and for me also,if after 2 years his son will not agree,then what will happen to me,I already wasted my important time for him(about 10 years),also his family told to our family u should disturb each two years,What's the meaning of this,I couldn't understand this,and also told you both are from different state,after marriage how both will manage?I m not saying to left your job,but you should have to job in Bihar govt.and his family also told that after marriage u both will suffer due to long distance,try to understand reality.etc etc.After all conversation in phone call I tried to convince them in different way.But they put all this thing in the name reality.My parents also said all this problem to me ,but I managed then everything before.And they also think it's about my child happiness,they never discussed the problem once in front their family.We he came to this relationship,he knew everything,so why such statements are coming during assurance to my family.It was not felt like the are assuring,that looked like they are indirectly saying not to get married.I m confused after 10 years of relationship,he betrayed.Whats the chance after 2-3years,he will marry to me ,what will happen if he refused to get marry to me.My life already spoiled due to him.He is now not calling once after that day,it's being 1 month ,three days.What should I do?my age already gone to get finding a good match.A lot of good proposals came before,but I refused.I couldn't understand and tolerance all this thing happened to me.How he became so selfish,never thinking once about my family feelings.My parents also told to their family,we can do hidden court marriage or engagement but they told no it's not possible?What should I do?