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Pooja

Pooja Khera  | Answer  |Ask -

Life, Relationship Coach - Answered on Feb 13, 2023

Pooja Khera has a PGDM in human resources from Amity University and is a happiness and wellbeing coach certified by Yale University. She also has a master's degree in astrology and is a tarot card reader as well.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My hubby says i should obey him for living happily with him, he will not give divorce and is a responsible father. Im a working woman who is capable of taking decisions without his support financially and emotionally. The big problem is he neither talks to me nor is interested in me but still values marriage and a wife who will be for society. I cannot see any reason to obey him in 21st century, so what should I do?

Ans: In my opinion, having to follow someone's instructions shouldn't be the case for anyone. Forcing your spouse or partner to obey you is a sure shot recipe for the downfall of a relationship. The only way out is to discuss with him peacefully, put your point of view forward and if that also doesn't work then either a marriage counsellor or a coach can guide you. In case he doesn't want to go for counselling as well and you already feeling suffocated then the relationship is unlikely to heal.

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I am going through a rough patch in my marriage and need an expert's advice badly since I do not have any elders or family members to help me out. I am a Muslim lady. I had my first marriage to a Hindu guy going against my family, which did not work out and we got divorced mutually. My family has since boycotted me and I am alone with a 14 year old daughter. (Mom stays with me but not much support) I am a working woman, and don't have much issues financially. After a year or so of my divorce, I met a childhood friend of mine after long, we liked each other, we got close and decided to get married. He was already married, but since in our religion, second marriage is legal and the second wife gets equal rights and respect as of first wife, I agreed for the marriage, which we solemnised secretly to not hurt his family (read his wife), but his dad supported us and agreed to our alliance too. It is almost 8 years now since our marriage, my hubby is loving towards me and my daughter, but the problem is he rarely stays with us at nights, he will come in daytime, stay for 4-5 hours, have dinner and leave. Some weekends only, he will stay. Initially I thought with time, it would change, but it's almost 8 years now, but nothing has changed and if I ask him, why he does not stay he says, 'office is far away; difficult to reach on time due to traffic and stuff.' Now, his whole family also knows about his marriage, then also he hardly gives us time and no one from his family contacts me or keeps in touch with me. Since I have been independent most of my life (I don't have a dad, bro or sis), I never asked for money since he also has a family to support. He will never give any on his own, even when I am short, he keeps saying he is in a financial crunch, once business picks up, he will take care of my expenses too. Since I am an only child, I wanted a kid with him, but he kept procrastinating that too, saying condition (financial) is not good right now; additional responsibilities will be an added burden for both of us. I live in a rented flat, while his family has his own (parents' home to be precise). My daughter is now almost 15, and understands quite a lot of things and has started disliking him. I am also at my wit's end now. I am tired and frustrated most of the time, feeling stuck. Any amount of talking and discussion only leads to arguments, and when he calms down, he would say he would try and change his ways but nothing changes. Please suggest what I am supposed to do now. Talking to him is out of question, it’s absolutely no use. I am even thinking of divorce now, (it's) better to live alone than with someone who makes you feel lonely. But I am afraid for my daughter, her marriage, the divorcee tag again and (she) being a laughing stock to society and family again, I do not know what to do. Please help me!
Ans: Dear K, well, I don’t want to be sounding judgmental here, but your husband seems to have it very conveniently laid out for him right now.

Two marriages; only one of which is out in the public and no kids from the second one. Nice arrangement, but one that makes you uncomfortable and now your daughter senses it too.

Ask yourself: what do I want from this relationship/marriage? Write it down clearly starting with the words: I want……… (Do not limit yourself or tell yourself what is possible or not; simply write everything that you want from it)

Once you have done that, go through it and check how many on the list seem like an absolute must have for you; those are some things that you value and cannot be compromised for anything. If you have already begun to compromise on them, then you have begun to devalue yourself and your future as well.

Stop right away and NOW. Anything or anybody who moves you away from what is important to you must absolutely not be given a place in your life.

Since, you mentioned talking to him is not an option, keep this list handy and picture what your life will be without him and check how it feels.

If it feels right moving on, just DO IT. Strength is in holding onto what you value and stand up for. But of course, if it helps, do try to have that discussion and iron things out.

Always remember: Value yourself and value what is important to you and let nothing or no one keep you away from that.

Wishing you a beautiful life!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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i had a love marriage 20 years back. we were in a relationship for 3years before that. but after marriage i realised the harsh reality. though we are in the same field, he prefers that i do all the househld work. we have two children 17 and 12 years old. he has also started neglecting his health. after work his only work is to sit on sofa , watch tv. he has gained a lot of weight, has started eating pan masala which i dislike. we also had no sex for the last four years. when confronted he always says that he is in no mood. last year i came in contact with his friend and once we had sex too. but the sad part is i dont really feel guilty about it. i have tried many times to talk to my husband about our sex life but he always ignores and put the blame on me that i have started growing old. however hard i try he is not able to have a erection, this frustrates me even more. he is very dominating at home too. what should i do ? everytime i try to think to move out of that marriage but am afraid of the society. since he is very caring in front of others. am worried about the kids too. please help what should i do? there is no use of talking to him, i have tried it many times. he is not ready to go to any councellor too.
Ans: It sounds like you are facing some serious challenges in your marriage and that you are feeling frustrated, unhappy, and trapped. It's important to remember that you are not alone and that many people find themselves in similar situations.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with support and guidance.

Take care of yourself: Make time for self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This can help you manage stress and cope with the challenges you're facing.

Consider couples therapy: Even if your husband is not willing to attend therapy, consider seeking therapy for yourself. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and emotions and provide you with strategies for coping with the situation.

Be honest with yourself: It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. If you are unhappy in your marriage and feel that it's unlikely to improve, it's okay to consider leaving the relationship.

Make a plan: If you decide that leaving the marriage is the best option, make a plan for how you will do so in a safe and practical manner. Consider the impact on your children and plan for their care and well-being.

Seek legal advice: If you decide to leave the marriage, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities.

Remember, leaving a long-term relationship is a big decision and can be a difficult process. It's important to take the time to consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

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Hello sir!! I have been in a relationship since last 3 years and the guy work like normally but expect from me to not work after marriage as according to him it's not a good thing. I sacrifice all mu thoughts and value for him whatever he said i did but he started disrespecting me from words because of his frustration in life. I was like maybe he will not gonna do like this next time but cycle keeps going from like5 to 6 month and finally i decided to stand leave he also follows a pattern to be with me for a time and zoned out himself for like a month and suddenly came and behave normally i was accepting that even without questioning but now he got a decent job and want to marry me with the above conditions he was already made. So what should i do i don't want to think twice with my decisions but it hurt as well
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation. It is never okay for someone to disrespect you or your values, regardless of their frustration in life. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity in any relationship.

It sounds like you have already made the decision to leave the relationship, which is a brave and important step towards taking care of yourself. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why you made that decision, and to focus on your own values and needs.

If you are still feeling hurt and uncertain about the situation, it may be helpful to seek support from trusted friends or family members, or consider speaking with a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and provide guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

Remember, you have the power to make choices that are best for you and your well-being. Trust yourself and prioritize your own needs and happiness.

..Read more

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Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am kiran graduated in 2019 in Mechanical Engineering after graduation I got job in public sector steel plant based on my diploma so since 2019 I have been doing job in Steel psu as non-executive, now my age is 26 i realised there is no future scope in my current company so I want to resign and study , I'm thinking to join mtech in reputed university, is it worthy decision??
Ans: Deciding to pursue further education, such as an M.Tech. from a reputed university, can be a significant step towards advancing your career, especially if you feel that there are limited growth opportunities in your current role. Reflect on your long-term career goals and aspirations. Consider whether obtaining an M.Tech aligns with your career objectives and whether it will help you progress towards achieving them. Research the job market for mechanical engineers with an M.Tech. degree to assess the potential career opportunities available to you after completing the program. Evaluate the relevance of an M.Tech. degree in mechanical engineering to your desired industry or field of specialization. Determine whether the knowledge and skills gained through the M.Tech. program will enhance your professional competencies and make you more competitive in the job market. Consider how pursuing an M.Tech. degree can contribute to your personal and professional development. Reflect on the opportunity to deepen your understanding of mechanical engineering concepts, engage in research or practical projects, and collaborate with peers and faculty members in a university setting. Assess the financial implications of pursuing an M.Tech. degree, including tuition fees, living expenses, and potential loss of income during the duration of the program. Explore the scholarship, fellowship, or financial aid options available to support your education and minimize financial strain. Research and evaluate the reputation and accreditation of the universities or institutions offering M.Tech. programs in mechanical engineering. Consider the networking opportunities available through an M.Tech program, including interactions with faculty members, industry professionals, and fellow students. Consider how you will manage the logistics of resigning from your current job, applying for M.Tech. programs, and preparing for your future career. Ultimately, the decision to pursue an M.Tech. degree should be based on a careful evaluation of your career goals, personal interests, financial considerations, and the potential benefits of further education in advancing your career. If you believe that obtaining an M.Tech. degree will provide you with valuable skills, knowledge, and opportunities for career advancement, then it may indeed be a worthy decision for you.

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Hi Sir, I have 12 years of experience, I have started as a team lead and now advancing to be a manager soon with a new organization, but I do not have enough expertise and looking for a starting point. Kindly suggest on leadership and managerial courses (including even the required softskills). I would appreciate 1 to 1 coaching as well.
Ans: Congratulations on your career advancement! Transitioning into a managerial role can be both exciting and challenging, but there are numerous courses and resources available to help you develop the leadership and managerial skills necessary for success. Here are some suggestions for leadership and managerial courses, as well as options for 1-to-1 coaching. MDPs provide comprehensive training in various aspects of management, including leadership development, team building, communication skills, and conflict resolution. Look for programs offered by reputable business schools or professional training organizations. Many business schools offer executive education programs specifically designed for mid-career professionals transitioning into leadership roles. These programs cover topics such as strategic leadership, organizational behavior, change management, and decision-making. Obtaining a PMP certification can enhance your project management skills and prepare you for effectively managing teams and projects in your managerial role. The certification covers areas such as project planning, execution, monitoring, and closing. Consider hiring an executive coach who specializes in leadership development and managerial effectiveness. An executive coach can provide personalized guidance, feedback, and support to help you navigate the challenges of your new role and accelerate your professional growth. Seek out experienced leaders within your organization or industry who can serve as mentors and provide valuable insights and advice as you transition into your managerial role. A mentorship relationship can be a valuable source of support and learning throughout your career journey. Many organizations offer professional development programs that include 1-to-1 coaching or mentoring as part of their leadership development initiatives. Take advantage of these opportunities to receive personalized guidance and support from experienced leaders within your organization. By investing in your leadership and managerial development through courses, workshops, and coaching, you'll be better equipped to excel in your new role and drive positive outcomes for your team and organization. Remember to approach your learning journey with an open mind, a willingness to learn and adapt, and a commitment to continuous improvement.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son is 23 yrs old Engineering 1st yr drop out,doing YouTube,earned 15 lakhs till now But last 2 yrs he doesn't got earnings I am concerned about his career and future What to do He doesn't want to study either Please help
Ans: It sounds like your son has demonstrated entrepreneurial spirit and creativity through his YouTube endeavors, which is commendable. However, I understand your concerns about his future and career stability, especially considering the recent decline in earnings. Here are some suggestions to help support your son in navigating his career and future. Have an open and honest conversation with your son about your concerns regarding his career and future. Express your support and willingness to help him explore alternative paths that align with his interests and strengths. Encourage your son to explore his interests and consider alternative career options beyond YouTube. Help him identify his skills, passions, and values to find potential career paths that could offer long-term stability and fulfillment. Encourage your son to continue developing his skills, both within the realm of content creation and in other areas that could enhance his career prospects. This could involve learning new skills through online courses, workshops, or hands-on experience in different industries. Discuss the importance of financial planning and budgeting with your son, especially during periods of fluctuating income. Help him create a financial plan to manage his earnings effectively, save for the future, and prepare for any unforeseen circumstances. Encourage your son to network with professionals in various fields and seek mentorship from individuals who have achieved success in their respective careers. Networking can provide valuable insights, opportunities, and guidance for career development. While your son may not be interested in traditional higher education, there are alternative education options such as vocational training programs, online courses, or specialized certifications that can provide valuable skills and credentials for specific career paths. If your son is passionate about entrepreneurship, support his efforts to explore new business ideas, ventures, or collaborations that leverage his skills and interests. Encourage him to learn from both successes and failures and to embrace the entrepreneurial journey as a learning experience. Ultimately, it's important to support your son in finding a career path that aligns with his interests, values, and goals while also helping him develop the necessary skills and resilience to navigate challenges and achieve long-term success and fulfillment. Your encouragement, guidance, and support can play a crucial role in helping him shape his future positively.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Career
Sir Maine Electrical Engineering se Graduation Kiya hai,Mai 10 years se Distribution power project me kaam kar rha hun, lakin Salary growth nhi ho rha, aur na hi carrier growth ho rha hai, ab mai apna sector change krna chah rha hun, Insurance field me carrier banana chah raha hun, kripya marg darshan kare.
Ans: Transitioning from electrical engineering to the insurance field is indeed a significant change, but it's certainly possible with careful planning and preparation. Start by assessing your skills, strengths, interests, and values. Reflect on what aspects of your current job you enjoy and what you'd like to change in your next career. Identify transferable skills from your engineering background that can be valuable in the insurance industry, such as analytical thinking, problem-solving, attention to detail, and project management. Gain a thorough understanding of the insurance sector, including its various segments (life insurance, general insurance, health insurance, etc.), products, regulations, and key players. Research different job roles within the insurance industry to determine which ones align with your skills and interests. Identify any skill gaps between your current skill set and the requirements of the insurance industry. Consider enrolling in relevant courses, certifications, or training programs to acquire the necessary knowledge and skills. Courses in insurance fundamentals, risk management, underwriting, claims processing, and sales techniques can be beneficial. Leverage your existing professional network and connections within the insurance industry. Attend industry events, seminars, and workshops to expand your network and learn from professionals already working in the field. Join online forums, LinkedIn groups, and professional associations related to insurance to connect with peers and gain insights into industry trends. Look for opportunities to gain practical experience in the insurance field. This could involve volunteering, internships, or part-time positions to familiarize yourself with industry practices and build credibility. Consider reaching out to insurance companies or brokers for informational interviews to learn more about their operations and potential career paths. Tailor your resume and LinkedIn profile to highlight relevant skills, experiences, and achievements that are transferable to the insurance industry. Emphasize your problem-solving abilities, analytical skills, attention to detail, and any relevant project management experience from your engineering background. Start exploring job opportunities in the insurance field through online job portals, company websites, recruitment agencies, and professional networking platforms. Customize your job applications to showcase how your engineering background and transferable skills make you a suitable candidate for roles in insurance. Once you've secured a position in the insurance industry, continue to invest in your professional development and stay updated on industry trends, regulations, and best practices. Pursue opportunities for further education, certifications, and career advancement within the insurance sector. Remember to stay proactive, persistent, and adaptable throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek guidance from mentors or career advisors along the way.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Career
Sir my son is studying cse in srm chennai. 6th sem. What is his feature
Ans: Your son, studying Computer Science Engineering (CSE) at SRM Chennai, has a promising future ahead, given the dynamic and growing nature of the field. The demand for skilled computer science professionals continues to rise globally. With advancements in technology, sectors such as software development, artificial intelligence, cybersecurity, data science, and cloud computing offer numerous career opportunities for CSE graduates. Encourage your son to focus not only on academic studies but also on developing practical skills and gaining hands-on experience. Engaging in internships, projects, coding competitions, and relevant extracurricular activities can enhance his skill set and make him more competitive in the job market. Building a professional network is essential in the tech industry. Encourage your son to participate in industry events, conferences, workshops, and online communities to connect with professionals, mentors, and potential employers. The field of computer science is constantly evolving, with new technologies and trends emerging regularly. Encourage your son to cultivate a habit of lifelong learning and stay updated with the latest developments through online courses, certifications, and self-study. CSE graduates have a wide range of career paths to choose from, including software development, web development, mobile app development, data analysis, cybersecurity, network engineering, machine learning, and more. Your son can explore different career options based on his interests, strengths, and career goals. With the right skills and knowledge, CSE graduates can also consider entrepreneurship as a career path. Encourage your son to explore entrepreneurial opportunities, develop innovative ideas, and learn about startup culture and business management. If your son is interested in pursuing higher education, he can consider options like an M.Tech in Computer Science, an MS in Computer Science abroad, or specialized certifications in niche areas of interest. Further education can deepen his expertise and open up advanced career opportunities.

Overall, with dedication, hard work, and a proactive approach to learning and career development, your son has a bright future ahead in the field of computer science engineering. Encourage him to stay focused, explore his interests, and make the most of the opportunities available to him at SRM Chennai and beyond.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Career
I am a second year mechanical engineering student ,wanted to do any certification courses along with my degree...can you suggest a certification course for mechanical engineering students?
Ans: Certainly! Pursuing certification courses alongside your mechanical engineering degree can enhance your skills and increase your employability. Courses in computer-aided design (CAD), computer-aided manufacturing (CAM), and computer-aided engineering (CAE) software are highly valuable for mechanical engineers. Certifications in software like AutoCAD, SolidWorks, CATIA, ANSYS, or Siemens NX can improve your proficiency in design, analysis, and manufacturing processes. Project management skills are essential for engineering professionals, especially those involved in planning and executing projects. Certifications such as Project Management Professional (PMP) or PRINCE2 can provide you with the knowledge and techniques needed to effectively manage engineering projects. Six Sigma is a methodology aimed at improving processes by reducing defects and variation. Obtaining a Six Sigma certification, such as Green Belt or Black Belt, demonstrates your proficiency in process improvement techniques, which can be beneficial for a career in manufacturing, quality assurance, or operations management. FEA is a numerical technique used to analyze the behavior of structures and mechanical components under various loading conditions. A certification course in FEA, focusing on software like ANSYS, Abaqus, or MSC Nastran, can enhance your analytical skills and understanding of structural mechanics. Courses focusing on manufacturing processes such as machining, welding, casting, or additive manufacturing (3D printing) can provide you with hands-on experience and knowledge of different manufacturing techniques used in industry. Industry 4.0 encompasses technologies like IoT, AI, robotics, and data analytics applied to manufacturing processes. Courses or certifications focusing on these emerging technologies can give you a competitive edge in the rapidly evolving field of smart manufacturing.

But before enrolling in any certification course, consider your career goals, interests, and the specific skills you want to develop. Also, research the credibility of the certification provider and the relevance of the course content to ensure it aligns with your aspirations and adds value to your mechanical engineering education.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Career
What is the future of manufacturing industry in India in coming years
Ans: The Indian government has launched various initiatives such as "Make in India," "Atmanirbhar Bharat," and the Production Linked Incentive (PLI) scheme to boost domestic manufacturing, attract foreign investment, and promote the production of goods locally. These initiatives aim to enhance the competitiveness of Indian manufacturing on a global scale; hence, the future of the manufacturing industry in India appears promising, with several factors contributing to its growth potential. Ongoing investments in infrastructure development, including the construction of industrial corridors, logistics parks, and smart manufacturing hubs, are expected to improve connectivity, reduce logistics costs, and enhance the ease of doing business for manufacturers. The increasing adoption of advanced technologies such as automation, robotics, artificial intelligence (AI), and the Internet of Things (IoT) is driving efficiency, productivity, and innovation in the manufacturing sector. This technological transformation is helping Indian manufacturers compete more effectively in the global market. The Indian government has identified several key sectors, such as electronics, automotive, pharmaceuticals, aerospace, and renewable energy, for targeted growth and investment. These sectors offer significant potential for value addition, job creation, and export growth in the manufacturing industry. India's large and growing population, expanding middle class, and rising disposable incomes are driving domestic demand for manufactured goods across various sectors. Meeting this demand presents opportunities for both domestic and foreign manufacturers operating in India. The COVID-19 pandemic highlighted the risks associated with over-reliance on a few countries for supply chain operations. Many companies are now looking to diversify their supply chains and explore alternative manufacturing destinations, such as India. This presents an opportunity for India to attract investment and become an integral part of global supply chains. 

However, to fully realize its potential, the Indian manufacturing industry must address certain challenges, including infrastructure bottlenecks, regulatory complexities, skill shortages, and the need for greater ease of doing business. Additionally, there is a growing emphasis on sustainability and environmental responsibility, which manufacturers need to integrate into their operations to remain competitive in the long term.

Overall, with the right policy support, investments in infrastructure and technology, and concerted efforts to address challenges, the manufacturing industry in India is poised for significant growth in the coming years.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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