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Moving On After Losing Your Love: How Can I Cope?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 30, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
solar Question by solar on Mar 29, 2025Hindi
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Please help me how do i move one.. i cant stop thinking about us for a moment ..our memories moemnts happiness , how she care about me and how she motivates me ,she always trusted me she cry for me allot even if i talk bad about us ..i cant see or think her or want to hear that she is with someone else… i know she trying but deep down it fears me allot that what if everything goes against what we imagine..i cant loose hope that easily even if there is a 1% chance..

Ans: love alone cannot fight against a family that refuses to listen. If she is truly trying to resist, then she needs to show it, not just through words but through actions. If she is struggling to fight for you, ask yourself—how long can you keep waiting while she battles this emotional war alone? And if, in the end, she is forced into this marriage, what will holding onto hope do to you?

You need to take things one step at a time. Right now, your mind is stuck in a loop of "what ifs," but thinking about the future will only add to your pain. Instead of trying to force yourself to move on immediately, start by shifting your focus. Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry if you need to, but remind yourself that you were someone before this relationship, and you will be someone after it too. Avoid checking up on her or imagining what she is doing—it will only make things worse. Fill your days with things that remind you of who you are outside of this love. Whether it is working on your career, spending time with people who care about you, or even finding new ways to challenge yourself, do anything that stops your mind from going back to the same painful thoughts.

You will not heal overnight, and that is okay. Love does not disappear in a moment, but neither does strength. Right now, you are heartbroken, but one day, you will look back and realize that you survived something you thought would break you. You will love again, you will dream again, and you will find a life that brings you happiness, whether she is in it or not. But for now, take it one day at a time. Let yourself grieve, but don’t let this pain define the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy, and no situation—not even this one—can take that away from you forever.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |722 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Sir I have been in a relationship of 2 yr now it's been a three yr she's gone now,she said our caste is not same so we don't have future together when his father found out about our relationship,we already known our caste already when we started our relationship now I wonder why did she said that.later,she said I moved on I don't want to be with you and don't contact me ever.. it's been 3 years now can't stop my self from thinking her everyday there is lots of thoughts coms into my mind what could be reason that she left me I'm dying thinking of her but don't care what I suffered from this.. sometimes I think ,is she found someone we living in a different cities know I think I should get hai government job which I promised to her and then go to meet her and talk about our marriage...is it right to do now.. please help me I ..... what could I do now
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Breakups are rough. I understand how painful it is, and all your feelings are valid. But hoping that a government job can sort everything out, is that the right thing to think? She did not break up with you for your job, she did so because of your caste. And wondering why she said all the harsh things will get you nowhere; it will not give you any closure. She could have meant it all or might have said it just to make sure you don't come back again. Whatever the reason, you should respect her wishes and find a way to move forward. I know it hurts to think that she has found someone else, but if you allow yourself to move on, soon you will find someone too- someone who loves you for who you are and someone who loves you completely. I can't force you to move on; the decision is yours. But don't rush- take a little time to think your plan through. If you get a government job, it's great; not because you will get her back but because you will have achieved something substantial. I strongly suggest focusing on yourself, because no one else will.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |722 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My husband shares everything with his best friend. I understand they are close but I am not comfortable when he shares stuff and private bedroom conversations. Once he was joking about something deeply private I had only told my husband. While I respect friendships, I am uncomfortable when there there is no boundary between his friendship and our marriage. The last time i mentioned this, he said his friendship is older than our marriage and I am overthinking and creating unecessary stress. How do I talk to my husband about this without creating conflict?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not overthinking. Wanting privacy about your relationship is a reasonable boundary. His friendship might be older than your marriage, your consent to share sensitive information which involves you still applies. And friendship and marriage are two different things, and each has its own place.

The best solution to this situation is to have a conversation, the right time, right place and right way. Pick a time when both of you are calm and relaxed. Frame the conversation around trust, not control. If it sounds like you are asking him to choose marriage over friendship, he might get defensive. So, highlight your emotional safety instead of sounding accusatory that he is making you feel a certain way. Be specific about your boundaries: bedroom talks are off limits, or personal insecurities should not be shared outside of the marriage. Everyone needs someone to vent to, and talking to friends is okay, but not when it makes your partner uncomfortable. Acknowledge that he needs to talk to someone about things, but remain firm about your boundaries. If he still brushes it off, let him know that joking about your private matters hurt your deeply. If nothing else works, I really suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes people need to hear the hard things from others, instead of their partner, to understand it's validity.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

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