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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
DIPAK Question by DIPAK on May 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

how i forget my past.....mam

Ans: Dear Dipak,
You can't forget your past, but you can change the way you feel about it, You can change how you react to it.
Firstly understand that what has happened in the past belongs in the past.
If you chose to bring it to the present moment, bring it only to learn from it not to dwell in it and spoil your peace of mind. So, the next time you are confronted by your past: see what valuable lesson you can learn from it and if physically it has begun to affect you, do some deep breathing exercises to calm your mind.

Never look behind, look ahead always...

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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My girl was cheating me 2yrs back .. still we are in a relationship because I can't leave her but I don't forget that duration where she cheat me . Point is whenever I remind that I feel disturbed and become most negative person I'm .. Q. How to avoid that feeling?
Ans: It's understandable that the memory of your partner's infidelity still affects you, even after two years. It's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and valid, and it's okay to need time and space to heal.

One way to avoid these negative feelings is to focus on the present moment and the positive aspects of your relationship. Try to find ways to reconnect with your partner and build trust in your relationship. This may involve having open and honest conversations about your feelings and working together to establish clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship moving forward.

It's also important to take care of your mental health and well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your emotions and develop coping strategies. Additionally, practicing self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques, can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether or not you can move past the infidelity and continue the relationship. It's important to remember that forgiveness is a process, and it may take time to fully heal and trust your partner again. Whatever decision you make, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and do what's best for you.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to overcome from past memories
Ans: Healing from painful past memories is an intimate and deeply emotional journey. It’s not just about forgetting what happened but learning to carry those experiences in a way that doesn’t weigh you down.

Start by honoring your feelings. These memories are a part of your story, and the emotions tied to them are valid. Allow yourself to sit with the pain, the sadness, or even the anger, without rushing to push it away. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the hurt can bring a sense of release.

Mindfulness can be a gentle companion in this process. When the past pulls you back, focus on the present moment. Notice the feel of your breath, the warmth of the sun, or the grounding sensation of your feet on the floor. These small acts remind you that you are here, now, safe and capable of healing.

Embrace self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have scars and that healing takes time. You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. It’s enough to take one step at a time.

Sometimes, letting go means forgiving—not just others, but yourself too. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment and allowing space for peace and growth.

Surround yourself with warmth and support. Lean on those who uplift you, who remind you of your strength, and who offer you love without judgment. These connections can be a soothing balm for the soul.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have days when the past feels heavy again. Trust in your resilience and know that each day, you are growing stronger, finding new ways to hold your memories with tenderness rather than pain. You are worthy of peace, love, and joy in your present and future.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11012 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I'm 38 years old. Currently doing an SIP of 55000 in these funds in 2 separate portfolios (mine and wife's). My risk profile is moderate to high. I'm targeting to keep investing for next 9 years. Currently my mutual fund portfolio corpus is 24 lac. Target corpus is 1.75 Cr to 2 Cr in 2035. Is this achievable? Do I need any step-ups yearly? Portfolio 1: parag parikh flexicap - 12000 hdfc mid cap - 5500 mirae asset large & mid cap - 8000 sbi gold fund - 5000 sbi multi asset fund - 5500 Portfolio 2: invesco midcap - 5500 ICICI multi asset allocation - 2000 hdfc flexicap - 4500 icici pru nasdaq 100 - 6000 axis silver FOF - 1000 Please review and suggest any changes needed.
Ans: You have done very well to start early, invest regularly, and build a sizeable corpus of around Rs.24 lakh by age 38. Investing as a couple, keeping a long-term view, and accepting moderate-to-high risk clearly show discipline and maturity. This itself puts you ahead of many investors.

» Target Feasibility and Time Horizon
– A 9-year horizon is reasonably good for equity-oriented investing, especially when SIP amount is strong and discipline is visible.
– With a monthly SIP of around Rs.55,000 and an existing corpus already in place, the target range of Rs.1.75 Cr to Rs.2 Cr by 2035 is achievable, but it will not happen by default.
– Market returns will not be even every year. Some years will test patience. Staying invested matters more than timing.
– To improve certainty and reduce pressure in later years, annual step-up is strongly advisable.

» Need for SIP Step-Up
– Without increasing SIP, the gap between effort and target may widen, especially if markets give average returns.
– A yearly step-up of even 8% to 10% can make a big difference over 9 years.
– Step-up should ideally match salary growth, bonuses, or business income rise.
– This keeps lifestyle stable while wealth grows silently in the background.

» Portfolio Structure Assessment
– Overall, your asset mix shows good balance across growth-oriented equity, stability-oriented allocation, and some global exposure.
– Splitting investments between spouses is sensible for long-term planning and tax efficiency.
– Exposure to mid-sized companies adds growth, but it also adds volatility. Your risk profile supports this, but allocation must be controlled.
– Flexibility-oriented funds give stability during market cycles and help reduce sharp drawdowns.
– Multi-asset exposure helps in volatile phases, but too many similar allocations can reduce clarity.

» Observations on Equity Allocation
– There is overlap in categories across both portfolios, especially in flexi and mid-cap styles.
– Too many funds in similar categories do not always improve returns; they often dilute conviction.
– A slightly more streamlined structure can improve monitoring and discipline.
– Growth funds should remain the core, but risk concentration must be watched as the goal year approaches.

» Gold, Silver, and Overseas Exposure
– Limited allocation to precious metals is fine as a stabiliser, not as a return driver.
– Keeping this allocation capped avoids drag on long-term growth.
– Overseas equity exposure adds diversification and currency hedge, but it should not dominate the portfolio.
– Periodic review is important as regulations and valuations change.

» What Changes Can Be Considered
– Reduce duplication across similar equity styles between both portfolios.
– Keep one clear growth-oriented core and one stability-oriented support structure.
– Gradually increase allocation to relatively stable equity styles after age 42–43 to protect accumulated corpus.
– Ensure each fund has a clear role; if the role is unclear, the fund may not be needed.

» Risk Management and Goal Alignment
– As the corpus grows, protecting gains becomes as important as chasing returns.
– Around the last 3 years, volatility management should take priority over aggressive growth.
– Periodic rebalancing is essential, especially after sharp market rallies.
– Emergency fund, health cover, and term protection should be adequate so investments are never disturbed mid-way.

» Tax Awareness While Investing
– Equity mutual fund gains held long term are taxed only beyond the exempt threshold, which supports long-term discipline.
– Short-term exits are costly from a tax point of view and should be avoided unless absolutely necessary.
– Asset allocation discipline reduces unnecessary churn and tax leakage.

» Finally
– Your goal is realistic, your discipline is strong, and your starting point is solid.
– Annual SIP step-up is not optional; it is the key enabler for reaching the upper end of your target.
– Simplification, role clarity of funds, and periodic review will improve outcomes without increasing stress.
– Staying invested with patience will matter more than reacting to short-term market noise.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11012 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2026

Money
I applied for Jeevan Akshay plan, 75 yr old and gave Rs 10 lacs, for monthly payment (option a). What is amount to be paid by LIC
Ans: You have taken a decisive step to secure fixed monthly income at an advanced age, and that shows clear intent for stability and peace of mind. At 75, income certainty matters more than growth, and your question is very valid.

» Understanding the Monthly Payout
– For a single premium of around Rs.10 lakh at age 75, under the life-long monthly income option without return of purchase price, the payout is on the higher side compared to younger ages.
– The expected monthly income works out to roughly in the range of Rs.6,200 to Rs.6,500 per month.
– This amount is paid for life, as long as the annuitant is alive.
– There is no maturity value or return of capital under this option.

» Why the Amount Is in This Range
– Higher age means higher annuity rate, because the expected payment period is shorter.
– Monthly payout is lower than yearly mode, as monthly payments involve higher administrative adjustment.
– Once the policy is issued, this income is fixed and will not increase with inflation.

» Important Practical Points to Keep in Mind
– The income starts after policy commencement, usually from the next payout cycle.
– The pension received is taxable as per your income tax slab.
– There is no liquidity; the capital cannot be withdrawn later.
– The policy can be cancelled only during the free-look period, if still applicable.

» 360-Degree View on Retirement Income
– Fixed pension gives mental comfort, but inflation slowly reduces its real value.
– Medical costs tend to rise sharply after 75, so adequate health insurance and liquid savings are equally important.
– Other family members should be aware that there is no death benefit under this option.

» Finally
– Expect a monthly pension of around Rs.6,200–6,500 from the Rs.10 lakh invested.
– The income is stable, predictable, and lifelong, but it does not grow.
– Review overall family cash flow and medical preparedness so this income supports, not restricts, your lifestyle.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1849 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am ready to stand against my parents for the boy I love, but he isn’t willing to stand up to his family. We are both Hindus but our customs, language and rituals are very different from each other. Since the time we started dating, I have tried to give up on my choices for the sake of our happiness. He proposed to me last year after dating for 12 years. I said yes. Now he wants me to convince his parents. He is 29, the eldest son of the family but he feels his parents will not agree for our marriage. His entire family is against us. His mother won't even look at me, forget sit down and talk. I told him we'll have a court marriage and live separate but he wants me to convince his family. If he doesn't take responsibility now, how can I expect him to stand up for me in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you serious? He happily got into a relationship with you BUT now wants to hide when it's time to talk to his parents.
He's 29 and as a mature adult you must learn to understand that until marriage it's his responsibility to not just talk to his parents but also find a way to make you and his parents meet.
Instead, he chooses to hide or he's scared? Do push him gently into his responsibilities and if you catch him delaying talking to his parents, then understand that he has a personality that avoids conflicts especially with his parents. Do imagine what it can be for you once you are married into that house.
Have an honest chat with him; love is not always roses and candles...straight and honest talk is always better before taking that big step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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