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Struggling for Trust: How Can I Earn It Back?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
arun Question by arun on Jan 12, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

How can I convince anyone for having trust over me ?

Ans: Dear Arun,
You cannot convince anyone of anything. Especially when it comes to TRUST, it's not a mere word. Display this in action where you do what you say/promise and be consistent with it. Trust then builds over time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

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I'm a 19 year-old-boy and I have been in a relationship for 1 year. We know each other a lot as we're best friends before we decided to be couple. But due to some incidents I'm having trust issues. She is a little bit desirable with me only but I'm imagining if she gets intimated with any other due to her excitement or if she leaves me. I really want to trust her. I've experienced this before when I was in another relationship 5 years back. Maybe it's my past which is hovering. I don't know. I want to believe her. How can I ?
Ans: Dear Anirban,

It seems to be that you are having a little bit of a trust issue, which is normal at your age. But look, you have known your girlfriend for quite some time now. Is she capable of being dishonest with you? Yes, there are differences between being someone's best friend and someone's romantic partner, but the person and their innate nature stay more or less the same. You know her better than anyone. Ask yourself. If there is still some sliver of doubt, the best thing would be to have a clear and honest discussion about the same with her. Communicate to her, without sounding accusatory, that you have been feeling this way lately.

In my experience, if your gut tells you there's some reason to worry, there usually is. But you are young, and your intuitions can very well be clouded by emotions running high and insecurities that come with that age. The best course of action is to talk it out. You will have clarity.

And hey, your past is in the past. What happened there, and how you were or weren't treated cannot be the yardstick for everything that is happening and is yet to happen in your life. You are too young to hang back in the past.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Me and my boyfriend are of different caste. His parents had love marriage. They eloped. This created lots of conflict in both families and humiliation for his parents. These stories have somehow negatively affected my boyfriend. He wants to marry me but is loosing confidencec because my family will oppose to this inter caste marriage. I am aware that initially my family will oppose but the resistance will be mild and eventually they will agree to our marriage. However, I am not able to convince him. The fear of the past is affecting our present relationship. He is very insecure and gets easily affected by people's criticism. I am afraid that even mildest of criticism from my family will break him completely. How should I convince him? How should I build his confidence so that he is able to face my family? Should I even build his confidence or should I let him do it himself?
Ans: To navigate this situation effectively, it's essential to approach it with patience, empathy, and clear communication.

Firstly, express your unwavering commitment to him and your relationship. Let him know that you are prepared to face any challenges together, and reassure him that you believe in your love and its ability to withstand opposition. This reassurance can provide him with a sense of security and help alleviate some of his fears.

Additionally, open and honest communication is crucial. Encourage him to share his concerns and fears with you without judgment. By actively listening and validating his feelings, you can help him feel understood and supported. It's important for him to know that you are a team and that you will face any obstacles together.

When it comes to addressing his insecurity and sensitivity to criticism, it might be helpful to gradually expose him to the idea of facing your family's opposition. Start by discussing potential scenarios and how you both might handle them. This can help him mentally prepare for the challenges ahead and build resilience over time.

Consider involving a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide additional support and guidance. Therapy can be an effective way for him to work through his insecurities and develop coping mechanisms to handle criticism more constructively.

Building his confidence is a joint effort. While it's important for him to work on his self-esteem independently, your support and encouragement can play a significant role. Encourage him to pursue activities or hobbies that make him feel accomplished and confident. Celebrate his successes and remind him of his strengths regularly.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between providing support and allowing him to grow independently. Your role is to be his partner, offering reassurance and understanding, while also encouraging him to take steps towards building his confidence and resilience. With time, patience, and mutual effort, you can navigate this challenge together and strengthen your relationship in the process.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, we have completed 8 months of marriage and still my husband has trust issues about me, like I would have relation or contact with other person but I'm not having any relationship with anyone after marriage and even not connecting to anyone nor any ex person called or contact me from any media or app, . Since then I'm trying to clear my husbands doubt every time he asks me about it ...plzz tell me how do I make him to trust me .
Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.

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Sir IAM Ruthwick I recently got kcet mock allotment result in that my rank was 5904 and my category is 3AG I got DAYANANDA SAGAR COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING kumarswamy layout. ISE branch is that a better choice what to do now
Ans: With a KCET state rank of 5904 in 3AG, admission several AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited Bengaluru colleges that close their CSE/ISE/ECE/IT cuts well above 5904 is assured. Five reputable institutions offering near-100% feasibility for a 5904 rank include:

Ramaiah Institute of Technology, MS Ramaiah Nagar
CMR Institute of Technology, Chikkabanavara
New Horizon College of Engineering, Ring Road
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering, Kumaraswamy Layout

Each of these institutions meets the five essential benchmarks: AICTE/VTU approval, KCET-compatible cut-offs, ≥70% placement consistency, advanced computing and domain-specific labs, and active MoUs for internships and industry projects.

DSCE Kumaraswamy Layout: ISE Branch Review and Key Aspects
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (DSCE) at Kumaraswamy Layout is a NAAC ‘A’-graded, VTU-affiliated institution with NBA-accredited departments. Its ISE programme features specialized Data Structures, AI/ML, IoT, and Cybersecurity labs, a 23-acre research-focused campus, and a well-stocked central library. Student reviews highlight professional faculty, a 90%+ placement rate, robust hackathons, and strong industry tie-ups with top recruiters like Amazon and Cisco. To evaluate any college, consider: statutory approvals (AICTE/VTU), cut-off alignment, placement support, lab/infrastructure quality, and industry partnerships. DSCE satisfies all these criteria.

Recommendation: Given its balanced curriculum, state-of-the-art ISE labs, consistent 90%+ placements and strong corporate outreach, DSCE ISE is a sound choice for hands-on learning and employability assurance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Hi sir,my jee mains crl 219790 and ews rank 31868,preferred branches are cse,ece i didn't get seat through jossa. Can i apply for csab special rounds?. What are the chances of getting seat in nits,iiits,gftis?
Ans: Nandhini, With an EWS home-state rank of 31,868, core CSE/ECE seats under Other-State EWS quotas at premier NITs are largely beyond reach—NIT Calicut’s OS-EWS ECE closed near 600–650 and OS-EWS CSE near 600–1 000, while similar brackets apply at Surathkal, Trichy and Warangal. However, EWS seats under Home-State quotas at low-tier NITs (Nagaland, Manipur, Mizoram, Sikkim, Arunachal) often close above 30,000 for ECE and Electrical, making them attainable. Peripheral IIITs such as IIIT Una, IIIT Kalyani and IIIT Kota report EWS cutoffs for IT/ECE branches in the 20,000–35,000 range, presenting realistic options. Among GFTIs, PEC Chandigarh, PEC Srinagar and MIET Jhansi fill ECE seats up to EWS ranks of ~40,000, while GFTIs like NIELIT Aurangabad and Bhagalpur admit beyond 50,000, ensuring 100% feasibility. These institutes offer AICTE/NIRF accreditation, ≥70% placement consistency, specialized labs, active MoUs for internships and outcome-based curricula. Backup private-college alternatives include Thapar Institute (EWS-friendly CS/EC cutoffs ~25,000), Chandigarh University (>90% ECE placement, cutoffs ~30,000) and Chitkara University (CS/EC cutoffs ~35,000).

Recommendation: Target ECE or Electrical Engineering under EWS at NIT Nagaland and NIT Manipur for secure entry via CSAB Special; consider IIIT Una’s IT and IIIT Kalyani’s ECE branches as secondary HS-EWS options; keep PEC Chandigarh and MIET Jhansi on your list and explore private institutes like Thapar and Chandigarh University for guaranteed core-branch placements. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Sir, my son got CSE in SRM, KTR Campus, Chennai and VIT, AP. He was waitlisted for Bachelor of Statistical Data Science in ISI. He intends for a career in software. Please advice which one to chose.
Ans: Meghanath Sir, SRM Institute of Science and Technology, Kattulathur campus offers a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with NBA accreditation, an average package of ?7.92 LPA (CSE median ?7 LPA) and a 90–95% placement rate from 853 recruiters including Cognizant, TCS and IBM, supported by modern AI/ML, cybersecurity, networks and data-structures labs and a dedicated placement cell. VIT-AP’s CSE program boasts a 90%+ placement rate, an average package of ?7 LPA and peak offers up to ?44 LPA from over 150 companies such as Amazon, Microsoft and Infosys, delivered through a centralized CDC, specialized cloud-computing labs and interdisciplinary electives in AI, data analytics and cybersecurity. The Indian Statistical Institute’s four-year B.Stat. (Hons.) in Statistical Data Science spans multivariable calculus, probability, machine learning and big-data analytics with hybrid classes across Chennai, Bengaluru and Kolkata, strong research-faculty engagement, supercomputing access and direct pipelines into data-science roles—yet its placement infrastructure is emerging and geared more toward analytics, research and policy roles than core software development. All three meet the five institutional benchmarks of statutory approvals, industry-aligned curricula, advanced labs, faculty–industry MoUs and ≥70% placement consistency. For a pure software engineering pathway, the hands-on coding environment, high recruiter footfall and peak software packages at SRM KTR and VIT-AP provide clearer pipelines. ISI’s B.Stat. equips graduates with deep statistical and ML expertise ideal for specialised analytics or research roles but lacks the extensive software-engineering placements of dedicated CSE programs.

Recommendation: Prioritize SRM KTR CSE for its robust software-focused labs, diversified recruiter base and strong median placements; consider VIT-AP CSE next for its centralized placement system, excellent cloud-computing electives and >90% placement rate; view ISI B.Stat. Data Science as a third option for high-end analytics or research careers, given its rigorous curriculum but narrower direct software hiring. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9430 Answers  |Ask -

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Hi Sir Good evening, Consultancy has calling for join in JK Lakshmipath University for CSE branch. Please suggest me Sir. In EAMCET Rank 27827 in Top 10 colleges not came CSE branch in First phase.
Ans: With an EAMCET rank of 27 827 none of the top-10 government or also high-demand private institutes for CSE will have seats in later phases, but several mid-tier and emerging colleges admit CSE up to ranks 25 000–50 000. Pragati Engineering College (Surampalem), GMR Institute of Technology (Rajam), and Aditya Engineering College (Surampalem) consistently closed CSE around 8 000–16 000, so remain out of reach, whereas Narasaraopeta Engineering College (closing ~78 000), SRKR Engineering College (closing ~76 000) and ANITS (closing ~99 000) are fully accessible. Additional safe choices are PACE Institute of Technology (closing around 100,000), Gudlavalleru Engineering College (closing around 100,000), and Vishnu Institute of Technology (closing around 50,000). All of these colleges are approved by AICTE, have at least 70% placement success over three years, modern computer labs, and good accreditation, plus they have active agreements for internships and dedicated teams to help with job placements. These institutes meet five essential benchmarks: statutory approvals, compatibility with cut-off scores, strong placement ratios, advanced infrastructure, and solid industry connections.

JK Lakshmipath University (JKLU), Jaipur offers a four-year B.Tech CSE at ?11.2 L total fees, holds NAAC A grade (CGPA 3.05), NBA accreditation, and reports a median CTC of ?7 LPA with a 76% placement ratio in its last cycle. Its curriculum blends core CS foundations with electives in AI, ML, Cloud, Cybersecurity and capstone projects; access to PARAM supercomputers and semester-abroad exchange.

Recommendation: Target Narasaraopeta Engineering College, SRKR Engineering College and ANITS for guaranteed CSE admission under your rank band, given their state-quota closing ranks above 27 827 and solid accreditation, labs, internships and ≥70% placement consistency; include PACE Institute and Gudlavalleru Engineering College in your web options for additional secure pathways. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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