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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |583 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 24, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hii, I am a married man aged 54 years. My wife is aged 50 years. she has undergone menopause about a year ago. Since then her sexual desire has finished and she is not at all interested in sex. On the other hand, I am sexually active having urge for sex. We have't had sex for last more than six months. I am now getting restless. My friend has suggested that I should go for paid sex to satisfy my urge, but I feel it will be like cheating on my wife who has been faithful to me for the whole life. I am in a fix. Please advice,

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your situation is challenging and can be emotionally difficult. It's important to approach such matters with sensitivity and communicationTalk to your wife openly and honestly about your feelings and desires. It's crucial to have a calm and non-confrontational conversation. Express your needs and concerns while also being empathetic to her perspective. Menopause can lead to changes in a woman's libido due to hormonal shifts. It may be beneficial for your wife to consult with a healthcare professional to discuss her symptoms. There could be medical interventions or lifestyle changes that may helpWhile sex is an important aspect of a relationship, intimacy can take many forms. Explore other ways to connect emotionally and physically that don't necessarily involve sexual activity. This may help strengthen your bond with your wife If you find it challenging to cope with your own feelings and desires, seeking individual counseling for yourself could be beneficial. A counselor can provide support and help you navigate your emotions. If both you and your wife are open to it, you might discuss the possibility of finding a solution that respects both of your needs and boundaries. This could involve finding a compromise or an arrangement that works for both parties Remember, every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to communicate openly, seek understanding, and work together to find a resolution that respects both partners' feelings and needs.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |583 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2023

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Relationship
im 62 yrs old have no urge for sex but my wife interested
Ans: It's not uncommon for individuals to experience changes in their sexual desire as they age. A decreased libido can be influenced by various factors, including hormonal changes, stress, medical conditions, medication side effects, and relationship dynamics. It's important to remember that everyone's sexual desire is unique, and what's most important is open and honest communication with your partner to navigate this situation.

Here are some steps to consider:

Communicate: Talk to your wife openly and honestly about your feelings and concerns. Let her know that it's not a reflection of your feelings for her, but rather a natural change that you're experiencing.
Seek medical advice: It's a good idea to consult a healthcare professional to rule out any underlying medical issues that might be affecting your libido. They can offer guidance on potential treatments or lifestyle changes.
Counseling or therapy: Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual issues or relationships. They can provide guidance and strategies for improving your sexual relationship and communication.
Lifestyle changes: Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, and managing stress, can positively impact your overall well-being, including your sexual health.
Intimacy: While you may not feel the same level of sexual desire, you can still nurture emotional and physical intimacy with your partner through cuddling, hugging, kissing, and spending quality time together.
Experimentation: You and your wife can explore new ways of being intimate that don't necessarily involve sexual intercourse. Finding what works for both of you and focusing on mutual pleasure can be a fulfilling alternative.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to changes in sexual desire, and it's essential to be patient and understanding with yourself and your partner. If you both are willing to work together and communicate openly, you can find ways to maintain a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

..Read more

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Money
Sir, I wqnted your advise, regarding an investment. My building is going for re-development, there is a additional flat sale for about 1cr, which will be ready in about 3 years. Please can you advise is it worth to invest 1cr in additional flat, i have savings of about 1cr, or should i keep the 1cr as Fixed Deposit. I do not have knowledge about investment in mutual funds or SIP. Thanks to advise.
Ans: It's commendable that you're considering the best investment route for your Rs. 1 crore savings. Let's evaluate the options you've mentioned and explore a comprehensive approach to wealth creation.

Understanding Your Investment Options
1. Investing in the Additional Flat

Illiquidity Concerns: Real estate investments are typically illiquid. Selling a property can take time and may not fetch the expected price.

Maintenance and Other Costs: Owning an additional flat comes with recurring expenses like maintenance charges, property taxes, and potential renovation costs.

Market Volatility: Property prices can fluctuate based on various factors, including economic conditions and government policies.

Rental Income Uncertainty: If you're considering renting out the flat, rental yields in many Indian cities are relatively low compared to the property's value.

2. Keeping the Amount in Fixed Deposits (FDs)

Low Returns: FDs offer fixed returns, but these may not outpace inflation, leading to a decrease in real purchasing power over time.

Tax Implications: Interest earned from FDs is taxable as per your income slab, which can further reduce the net returns.

Lack of Flexibility: Premature withdrawal from FDs can attract penalties, limiting liquidity.

Exploring Mutual Funds as an Alternative
Given that you're new to mutual funds and SIPs, it's essential to understand their potential benefits:

Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced fund managers who make investment decisions based on thorough research.

Diversification: By investing in a mutual fund, your money is spread across various assets, reducing risk.

Liquidity: Most mutual funds offer high liquidity, allowing you to redeem your investment when needed.

Potential for Higher Returns: Historically, mutual funds, especially equity-oriented ones, have offered higher returns over the long term compared to traditional instruments like FDs.

Tax Efficiency: Mutual funds can be more tax-efficient, especially with the benefits available under certain sections of the Income Tax Act.

Recommended Approach
Considering your current situation and the pros and cons of each investment option:

Avoid Investing in the Additional Flat: Given the illiquidity, associated costs, and potential market volatility, investing in another property may not be the most efficient use of your funds.

Limit Exposure to FDs: While FDs offer safety, the returns may not be sufficient to meet long-term financial goals, especially after accounting for inflation and taxes.

Consider Mutual Funds for Wealth Creation:

Start with a Lump Sum Investment: Allocate a portion of your Rs. 1 crore savings into mutual funds, focusing on a mix of equity and debt funds based on your risk appetite.

Initiate SIPs: Set up Systematic Investment Plans to invest a fixed amount regularly, benefiting from rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Given your unfamiliarity with mutual funds, seeking guidance from a certified professional can help tailor an investment strategy aligned with your financial goals.

Final Insights
Your initiative to seek advice before making a significant investment decision is commendable. By steering clear of additional real estate investments and limiting exposure to low-yield instruments like FDs, you can explore avenues like mutual funds that offer the potential for higher returns and greater flexibility. Engaging with a certified financial planner can further ensure that your investment strategy is well-aligned with your long-term financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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