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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Mohan Question by Mohan on Jun 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hellow, Anuji, I m 24, my gf is 25 and her elder sister is of 30. Elder sister was my friend at start and her younger sister proposed me as she loved me by listening to glimpses of mine by her sisters mouth. We r in relationship for a year now, she really loves me and I too. But later on I came to know that, her elder sis loves me too, and she conveyed this to me thru letter. I was too emotional about how I made her sad( elder one), in between, for 2 3 days, we had physical contacts, this came to know to younger sis who I love the most. She is much upset now, feeling broken. What shd I do now

Ans: Dear Mohan,
I am sorry but this is going to sound harsh to you...
What sort of emotions are you talking of that makes you jump from one person to the other?
You have just broken the younger sister's trust. An apology is not going to set anything right and yes, she is broken and maybe should also be upset with you.
What sort of a sister actually does this to her younger sister? The two of you have a lot of explaining to do to the younger sister...
And well, she may very well not be prepared to let go of this for now..Face this...every action has a consequence...
Trust takes time to build and when it's broken, well...wait...she may forgive you both or not! Face her...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2023

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Relationship
I have a girlfriend.. And i proposed a girl for fun i dont have any feelings on her.. Shes my friend and even she knows we are in a relation.. And another.. My girl has some issues with her friends.. They were planning to beat.. Or scold then i stood beside.. Not let them to hit but daid to speak to her.. She got insulted there.. Now my girlfriend broke up saying these reasons.. What should i do ?
Ans: Dear Srujan,

Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

For your second issue, I'd say it was good thinking on your part not to get too involved and yet be there for your girlfriend and stop her friends from resorting to violence. If that has insulted your partner, you can try clarifying your intent, and if she still does not want to pay heed to your side of the story, you don't owe her any more explanation for this particular issue.

If you don't have trust and understanding in your relationship, it's a losing battle, no matter how much you both try to hold on to it. An honest and level-headed discussion is the only thing that can save your relationship at this point.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
To start with i live abroad . I was married in 2009 with 1 kid and divorced later in year 2017 abroad only as i got into a new love relationship and married after 1 yr with no kids my present wife knows about my past and moreover we trying to have baby but due to medical conditions and diabetic myself unable and have to hear negative things she is working well and independent but due to all this i befriended another girl and had developed a feeling towards her and had relationship with her as well she knows about that i am married but cant leave my gf want to marry her we had good communication as well between us but at times we fight due to issues that i am married still not divorced and moreover she doesnot know about my 1st marriage either sometimes i feel embrassing whag ppl will think of me i am tired of my life being the only child of my mom i cant do anything as she is too old 85 yrs and heart patient. I am 42 currently married with wife 41 yrs age but seems lost interest in her and often fight shd doesnt live with me as i am away for 3 years and goes home 1 a year. The new gf is 35 yrs old but dont want to lose her we have been to nany trips together in about 5 to 6 countries . I am having mentally stress what to do sometimes feel to end up my life
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't mean to sound judgemental here...but what exactly are you stressed about? You seem to be hopping about from one relationship to another without working on things when they get stressful.
Did it occur to you that when things sour between two people that it is possible with some effort to work on things? The answer does not lie in running away and jump into the arms of another women.
There's a clear pattern of possible 'escapism' when things get uncomfortable...So, STOP and reevaluate what you are running from, what comfort do you run towards and how is this actually helping your mental state...
Do the right thing for yourself and your wife...take care of your marriage first before jumping into another relationship; you will only find something wrong with that as well...So, please STOP and check what exactly is happening...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Briefly, I am having problem with my sister. Actually She will supposed to be my sister-in-law but I consider her as my own sister. The problem is that, I and her elder sister, both don't like my sister's boyfriend. We have told her several times but she didn't listen to us or didn't answer to our questions. One day, I was trying to make her understand the problem about her boyfriend, before her elder sister on a video call. And like the other day, she didn't reply. After the call ended, She texted me, asking or more specifically chasing me about my faults in life. She is said that, "you always choose good surroundings but why don't you have any friend?" and "Where was your observation when your friends cheated on you!" I told her that we learn only by doing things and I have learnt that the boy is not suitable for you and that's why you should leave her. but she was going on with her argument and was hurting me a lot over chat. At last, I said to her, It was my fault to warn her, And told her not to call me 'DADA' again until she grows respects for me. After that day, she was gradually distancing from me! and 2 or 3 days after, her elder sister finds some bad things in her phone and repeatedly warn her to leave the boy otherwise he'll destroy her. and on that day, she broke up. but, she is still not talking with me! I have written poem for her and even told her SORRY and requested her to come back to me, I really love her as my sister. But, she is still not talking with me or angry with me! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!! I have loosen many in my life and It's like going to loose once again. I can do anything to make her happy or to accept me as his own elder brother again.....I really want to sort things out....
Ans: It sounds like you care deeply for your sister and want to protect her, which is understandable and comes from a place of love. But relationships, especially ones where emotions are involved, can be complex and sometimes require a delicate touch.

Right now, your sister might be feeling hurt and defensive. Even though your intentions were good, the way you and her elder sister approached the situation may have felt overwhelming or critical to her. When she lashed out, it was likely out of pain and feeling cornered.

Sometimes, people need time to process their feelings. Respect her need for space and give her some time to cool off and reflect. When you do reach out, acknowledge her feelings without defending your actions. Let her know that you understand why she felt hurt and that you’re sorry for the way things were handled. Make it clear that your concern came from a place of love and that you still see her as your sister. Assure her that your relationship with her is more important than any disagreement about her choices. Healing takes time. Keep the door open for her to come back to you when she’s ready. Sometimes, a little patience can do wonders.

Remember, what’s important now is rebuilding trust and showing her that you care for her unconditionally.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I'm a 33-year-old male, in a relationship for the last 4 years. I have an elder unmarried sister who is 39 years old, and an elder brother who is also unmarried but might get married next year. My concern is about my relationship. Initially, everything was fine, but after two years, things started to get messy. In 2022, during Diwali, my girlfriend visited my home. After that, she began to take issue with many small things related to my mother and sister and complained to me about them. Now, things are getting worse day by day. She constantly taunts me, saying, "As long as your sister is in that house, no one will want to marry their daughter into your family." My mother gave her a gold coin as a Diwali gift, which she has now returned to me, asking me to give it back to my mom with the message, "Find someone else for your son and see how many proposals you get." I always try to meet her demands, but she never seems to understand my perspective. Now, I feel angry and negative toward my family. I love her very much and can't leave her, but I know she doesn't understand my situation and always tries to prove she is right in every way. Please help me understand what I should do..???
Ans: Dear K,
It's clear you're in a difficult situation, feeling torn between your love for your girlfriend and your loyalty to your family. It's essential to acknowledge both your emotions and your needs, as well as those of your girlfriend and family.

First, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend. Share how her comments and actions are affecting you and your relationship with your family. It's crucial that she understands your perspective and the importance of family in your life. Approach this conversation with empathy, making it clear that you value her feelings but also need her to respect your family's role.

Additionally, consider discussing boundaries and expectations. Every relationship requires compromise, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your mental and emotional well-being. If your girlfriend is unwilling to see things from your point of view or continues to create tension, it might be necessary to reassess the relationship's dynamics.

Seeking guidance from a relationship counselor could provide a neutral ground for both of you to express your concerns and work towards a solution. A professional can offer tools and strategies to navigate these challenges, ensuring that both your relationship and family bonds are respected.

Remember, a healthy relationship should uplift and support you, not create constant conflict and negativity. Balancing love and family can be challenging, but with clear communication and mutual respect, it is possible to find a path that honors both.

..Read more

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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Money
I wanted to invest in SIP, but I dont have much of knowledge in it. Can anyone suggest some good funds and details aboit how to select the funds.
Ans: Investing in SIPs is a great choice for building wealth. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds.

Evaluating Fund Options

Choosing the right funds is crucial. You should aim for a balanced portfolio with various fund types.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds are handled by experts. These funds often perform better than index funds. The professional management helps in optimizing returns and reducing risks.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require more knowledge and active management. They lack professional guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures better decisions and better portfolio management.

Steps to Select Good Funds

Assess Your Goals: Understand your financial goals. This will help in choosing the right fund types.

Risk Appetite: Know your risk tolerance. Different funds have different risk levels.

Performance Track Record: Look at the fund's historical performance. Consistency over the years is key.

Fund Manager: Check the experience and track record of the fund manager. Experienced managers often deliver better results.

Expense Ratio: Lower expense ratios can lead to higher returns. But, ensure it doesn’t compromise on quality management.

Recommendations

Seek Professional Advice: Consult a CFP. They can guide you in selecting the best funds based on your goals and risk appetite.

Diversify: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds. Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.

Final Insights

Investing in SIPs is a smart way to grow your wealth. Choose actively managed funds for better performance. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investments align with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4821 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Money
Seeking Advice for a Well-Diversified Portfolio with a Take-Home Salary of 1 Lakh per Month** Hi everyone, I'm looking for some guidance on how to diversify my investment portfolio based on my current financial situation. Here are the details: - My take-home salary is 1 lakh per month. - My monthly expenses are around 30k. - I have a gold loan for 3 lakhs. - For the past year, I have been investing 5k in Paragh parik Flexicap, 3k in UTI Nifty 50, 3k in UTI Nifty Next 50, and 5k in Motilal Oswal Microcap. - Recently, I increased my SIPs from 5k to 10k in Flexicap, and from 3k to 5k in UTI Nifty 50 and UTI Nifty Next 50. -Recently added Tata small cap fund in my portfolio with 5k sip - My wife is working on a 6-month contract role and has 20k in savings. I would appreciate any advice on how to further diversify my portfolio to ensure long-term financial stability and growth. Thank you!
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Take-home salary: Rs. 1 lakh per month
Monthly expenses: Rs. 30,000
Gold loan: Rs. 3 lakhs
Wife’s savings: Rs. 20,000
Existing Investments
Flexicap Fund: Increased from Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000 monthly SIP
UTI Nifty 50: Increased from Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP
UTI Nifty Next 50: Increased from Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP
Microcap Fund: Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP
Small Cap Fund: Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP
Debt Management
Gold Loan
Focus on repaying the gold loan. This will reduce your interest burden and improve your financial stability.

Emergency Fund
Create an emergency fund. Aim for 6 months of expenses. This will cover unexpected situations. Save Rs. 20,000 monthly until the fund is complete.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Balanced Approach
Your current investments are heavily skewed towards equity. Diversify to balance risk and returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Consider adding debt mutual funds. They offer stability and lower risk. Invest Rs. 20,000 monthly.

Equity Mutual Funds
You already have exposure to large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Maintain this diversification.

Gold Investment
Invest in Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) or Gold ETFs. This adds stability and diversifies your portfolio. Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly.

Long-Term Goals
Child's Education and Retirement
Start investing in child-specific mutual funds. Plan for your children's education and your retirement. Consider a mix of equity and debt funds. Allocate Rs. 30,000 monthly.

Final Insights
Prioritize repaying your gold loan. Build an emergency fund. Diversify your investments with debt mutual funds and gold. Plan for long-term goals like children's education and retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4821 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir, I am 38 years old, happily married and working in as IT professional. My monthly take home is around 92K. My current personal loans are having an balance around 9 Lakhs and an hand loans around 4 Lakhs. My current EMI cut off is around 85K due to bad financial planning in last few years due to personal emergencies, i have been incurring losses and unable to save salary. Personal loans will finish by February 2025, but unable to cope with the monthly EMIs and due to this it is having negative impact in cibel score. Could you please suggest me on how to plan things for short term and also on long term.
Ans: You are 38 years old, happily married, and working in IT. Your monthly take-home salary is Rs. 92,000. You have personal loans with an outstanding balance of Rs. 9 lakhs and hand loans of Rs. 4 lakhs. Your current EMI cut-off is Rs. 85,000. Personal loans will be cleared by February 2025.

Immediate Steps for Debt Management
Prioritize High-Interest Loans
Focus on clearing high-interest loans first. These are costly and impact your finances. Prioritizing them will ease financial pressure.

Negotiate with Lenders
Talk to your lenders. Request for lower interest rates or extended payment terms. This can reduce your monthly EMI burden.

Consolidate Loans
Consider consolidating multiple loans into a single loan. This can lower your overall interest rate. It simplifies payments and reduces stress.

Cut Unnecessary Expenses
Identify and cut unnecessary expenses. This will free up funds to pay off debts. Focus on essential expenses only.

Mid-Term Planning
Emergency Fund
Start building an emergency fund. Aim for 3-6 months of expenses. This provides a safety net for future emergencies.

Financial Discipline
Stick to a strict budget. Avoid unnecessary expenses. Ensure timely payment of EMIs to improve your CIBIL score.

Long-Term Financial Planning
Investing in Mutual Funds
Once debts are cleared, start SIPs in mutual funds. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. This will help in wealth creation.

Retirement Planning
Start saving for retirement. Consider PPF and NPS for long-term benefits. Regular contributions will ensure a comfortable retirement.

Children’s Education
Plan for your children’s education. Start investing in child-specific mutual funds. Ensure their future is financially secure.

Final Insights
Focus on clearing high-interest loans first. Negotiate with lenders for better terms. Build an emergency fund. Plan for long-term goals with disciplined investing.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4821 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir I am 47 year old and planning to retire by 55.i have sips in MF for 1.5 lacs and my current portfolio is 75 lacs.started investments in sip from year 2021 and hoping to continue till 55 with at least 10% stepup.In addition , i have an FD of 1.4 crores and employee gratuity of 1 crores which will be received at retirement.i have 2 real estate properties an apartment and a small home where my parents are staying presently.what action can be done futher to make my investments 10cr at the age of 55. Thank you Regards Kumar
Ans: You are 47 and planning to retire at 55. Your SIPs total Rs 1.5 lakhs monthly, with a current portfolio of Rs 75 lakhs. You also have an FD of Rs 1.4 crores and will receive Rs 1 crore in employee gratuity at retirement. You own two real estate properties.

Goal Evaluation

Your target is to have Rs 10 crores by age 55. With a structured investment plan, this goal can be achieved.

Investment Strategy Analysis

Your monthly SIPs with a 10% step-up are commendable. The current portfolio shows good growth potential. However, to meet the Rs 10 crore goal, further optimization is needed.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require constant attention and expertise. Regular funds managed by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional advice and better returns. This ensures your investments are well-aligned with your financial goals.

Recommendations

Increase SIPs Gradually: Continue with your SIPs and increase them by at least 10% yearly.

Professional Management: Invest through regular funds managed by a CFP. This offers better portfolio management and aligns with your goals.

Diversify Portfolio: Ensure a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds. This diversification reduces risk and maximizes returns.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio with the help of a CFP. This keeps your investments on track to meet your goal.

Final Insights

Your goal to reach Rs 10 crores by 55 is achievable with disciplined investing. Gradually increase your SIPs, diversify your portfolio, and seek professional management. Regular reviews and adjustments will help you stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4821 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir I have invested in ELSS fund by monthly Sip of Rs 1000 in 2018 for 5 years the amount is now Rs 1.69 lakh.I want to redeem the amount and again invest to lumsum ELSS for 5 years is this a good decision to invest in ELSS fund.
Ans: You are 40 years old, happily married with two daughters aged 7 and 3. You have real estate worth Rs. 1.50 crores, including two houses (one valued at Rs. 85 lakhs with a monthly rental yield of Rs. 30,000). You have a ULIP with a monthly contribution of Rs. 18,000 for 5 years, with 19 months completed and a corpus of Rs. 4 lakhs. You have just started investing Rs. 50,000 in mutual funds. You can invest Rs. 1.50 lakhs monthly now.

Investment in Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are essential for long-term growth. They provide high returns over time. You can invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are less risky. Mid-cap and small-cap funds offer higher returns but come with higher risks.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds provide stability to your portfolio. They invest in bonds and government securities. They are less volatile and offer regular returns. You can consider short-term and long-term debt funds based on your investment horizon.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt. They balance risk and return. They are suitable for moderate risk takers. They provide stability with some growth potential.

Tax-saving Mutual Funds
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C. They have a lock-in period of 3 years. They offer good returns and help in tax planning. You can allocate a portion of your investments to these funds.

Selling the House and SWP
Selling the house worth Rs. 85 lakhs can provide a lump sum. You can invest this in a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). SWP offers regular income from mutual funds. It provides flexibility and better returns compared to rental income. Ensure to consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to align this with your financial goals.

Investment Strategy
Increase your SIP contributions to Rs. 1.50 lakhs monthly. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Review your portfolio regularly to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Professional Guidance
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can provide a tailored financial plan. Professional guidance helps achieve your financial goals efficiently.

Final Insights
Focus on long-term growth with equity funds. Maintain stability with debt funds. Balance risk and return with hybrid funds. Consider tax-saving ELSS funds. Review your portfolio regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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