Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hellow, I'm retired 77.My wife never liked me but pretended well for 47 years. I have only one son who is well settled in his business. I had givn enough money to my wife and son, keeping some money for my survival. Fed up with my wife's behaviour I joined Old age home. My all requirements are borne by my son. He, his wife and children respect and love m. One old lady in the old age home approached me for companion ship. I'm depressed without a sincere partener. Shall I accept the offer?

Ans: After many years in a marriage where you didn't feel truly loved, it’s natural to feel apprehensive but also hopeful about forming a new connection.

Given your current situation, accepting the companionship offer from the lady at the old age home could be a positive step towards finding the sincere partner you’ve been missing. Before making any decisions, reflect on your own feelings and what you truly seek in a relationship. Take your time to get to know her better. Share conversations and moments to see if this companionship brings you joy and comfort. It's important to move forward at a pace that feels right for you, ensuring that the relationship is built on mutual respect and genuine care.

Remember, it’s okay to desire companionship and to seek happiness. Your past experiences shouldn’t hold you back from exploring new, fulfilling connections. Given your supportive family, it might also be helpful to share your thoughts with your son and seek his perspective, as he knows you well and might provide valuable insights.

Embrace the opportunity to build a relationship that aligns with your needs and brings you happiness. It's never too late to find meaningful companionship.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Sir. After 2 unwanted marriages, the first fiXed by my 2nd half-brother and then my mother i am now staying alone for the last 20 years and am 72 going on 73. The thing is that i need a lady companion to ease my remainang years...how should i go about the companion thing. I am fit and hale and normal built happy. Ride a Honda Hornet to get aroung and i love riding bikes and gave up my car mobility when i left the gulf job.. Thanks
Ans: It's wonderful that you're looking for companionship to add joy to your life in your later years. Here are a few steps you could consider taking to find a compatible companion:

Social Activities: Engage in social activities that align with your interests. This could include joining clubs, groups, or hobby-related gatherings that involve activities you enjoy, such as biking clubs, book clubs, or local community events. Participating in these activities can help you meet like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Online Platforms: There are various online platforms designed to help people connect and find companionship. You could explore senior-specific dating sites or social networks that cater to individuals in your age group. Be cautious and take your time getting to know people before making any commitments.

Local Community: Attend events and activities in your local community. This could include attending workshops, classes, lectures, or volunteering opportunities. These events provide opportunities to meet new people and strike up conversations.

Mutual Friends: Your existing circle of friends and acquaintances may have connections to individuals who are also looking for companionship. Don't hesitate to express your interest in finding a companion to those around you.

Travel and Adventure Groups: Since you enjoy biking and adventure, consider joining travel or adventure groups that focus on activities you're passionate about. This can be a great way to connect with others who share your interests.

Be Open and Approachable: When you're out and about, be open to striking up conversations with people you meet. A friendly and approachable demeanor can make it easier for others to approach you.

Take Your Time: Finding the right companion is important, so don't rush into anything. Take your time to get to know people, their interests, and their values before considering a deeper connection.

Stay Safe: While seeking companionship, be cautious and prioritize your safety. Be mindful of sharing personal information too quickly and meet new people in public places initially.

Communicate Clearly: When you start forming connections, communicate openly about your intentions, expectations, and the kind of companionship you're seeking. Honesty can go a long way in building meaningful relationships.

Friendship First: Focus on building a foundation of friendship before moving towards a romantic relationship. Companionship can come in various forms, and starting as friends can lead to deeper connections.

Remember that finding the right companion takes time and effort. Be patient and enjoy the process of meeting new people and forming connections. Keep an open heart and mind, and you might just find a wonderful companion to share your interests and experiences with in your later years.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 02, 2023

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 77 years man. Lost my wife 4 years ago. Accidentally I met my First Love after 55 years. She is currently two time divorces with well settled 2 married children staying independently and separately. I have two well settled children and i stay with them alternatively n they take care of all my expenses. I am happy and spend time with my grandchildren. The question is that NOW my love of 55 years ago want me to shift and live with her. She assures to take care of me completely in all aspects of old age life n ailments. She has her own house n she is stlll working in very high position and is independent. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have a good set-up for yourself. The question is: Why would you want to stir things up, move away from what feels comfortable at your age?
Especially when you know that your expenses have been covered by your children, would you be willing to give up a roof over your head, leave your family and move in with her?
She does mention that she will take care of you; my suggestion is...go n experience it for a few weeks for yourself. At 77, there are a few things that you may find difficult to adjust to and you really don't need to mend backwards to adjust. At the same time, it maybe a welcome change for you to have a companion.
Talk to your children; they may resist this at first and reprimand you for having such thoughts but at the end of the day, it's your life...You can tell them that you will try the arrangement for a few weeks and then come to a decision...that will also give the lady an idea whether she is able to take on your responsibility as well. Talking about things and experiencing them are two different things. Just that, you must look ta your comfort and stability in this phase of your life before making any decisions.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8859 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I'm 77,my wife 74,married for 47 years We are well settled. My wife doesn't like intimacy now because she is secure because of our son who manages family and business very well. I'm retired with just ok income. Family got settled due to my earning for 50 years. I feel neglected and insulted. To find some solace I'm considering to join some old age home. I can manage my expences. Please suggest about my plan.
Ans: Assessing Financial Readiness:
Moving to an old age home is a major financial decision. It’s important to ensure that your current income and savings can comfortably cover all associated costs, including monthly fees, medical expenses, and any additional services. Make sure your financial plan is sustainable for the long term.

Estate Planning:
Before making any major life changes, ensure your estate planning is up to date. This includes having a clear will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives in place. Proper planning will provide peace of mind and ensure your wishes are respected.

Maintaining Financial Flexibility:
Even if you move to an old age home, maintaining a financial buffer is crucial. Ensure that you have liquid assets available for any unexpected expenses. This could include a combination of savings accounts, fixed deposits, and short-term debt funds.

Final Insights
Evaluate your financial situation carefully before deciding to move to an old age home. Ensure your income, investments, and estate plans are in order to support this new phase of life comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |45 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jun 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025
Money
Hi I am 32 years old working in IT, I want to retire from IT. I have a monthly expenses of 50k, 10L in bank and 12L in stocks. My question is: 1) what is the corpus amount to meet my monthly expenses? (Generate a revenue to cover my monthly expenses while corpus being invested in FD. considering inflation, and with the life expectancy 70 years) 2) at what age I can safely retire?
Ans: Hi,

Your current savings/investment of 22L will support your expenses for only a few years at this time.

Today if you wish to retire, you will need over 2 crores in FD earning 7% returns to last for your life expectancy of 70 years.

I recommend you focus on saving and investing across different asset classes to maximize your corpus over time. Different asset classes like equity, debt, gold etc can provide you well diversified option to generate wealth and provide stability and liquidity.

FDs are a safe option but its safety net if not going to cover your whole corpus if the bank fails.

Understand the potential, risk and returns of different asset classes and considering the long time period you have, you can save over the next 10-15 years and then plan retirement once your retirement corpus is accumulated.
Mutual funds are a good option to consider as they cover few asset classes and are easy to manage and track.

The retirement corpus depends on the time period post retirement and the expense you plan to cover from it. Accumulating that corpus also needs a plan and commitment to save/invest on a regular basis.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8859 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2025
Money
I am a retired person age 63. I need financial assistance as to how to use my funds. I have sold an property in July 2024 and kept an amount of Rs. 35L in capital gain account. As per inflation rate calculation, I have sold this properly in loss and there should be no tax deduction. Can I withdraw this fund and use in some other means Please advice. I have other savings. Approx. 34L are there in MF, I have a monthly SIP of Rs.16K. I have a PPF savings of Rs. 28L. I have approx. 7L in SB account. I have a LIC policy for which I shall get a lumpsum amount of approx. 12L in 2028. I have a plan to purchase a property in Delhi for Rs. 90L-1Cr. I also need some monthly income for monthly expenses. Please advice how I can use these funds for better benefits etc. and a monthly return for daily hope expenses.
Ans: You have built a respectable portfolio post-retirement. It shows you have taken prudent decisions in the past. Now the focus should be on creating monthly income, managing risks, and making sure your funds are used wisely without stress. Let us go step-by-step to build a clear plan for you.

Capital Gains Account – What You Can and Cannot Do
You deposited Rs. 35 lakhs in a capital gains account in July 2024.

You believe the sale was at a loss after adjusting for inflation.

Capital Gain Account Scheme is meant only for buying or constructing a house.

Funds must be used within 2 years (for purchase) or 3 years (for construction).

If you don’t use the amount within the allowed time, it is treated as capital gain.

You may be taxed on it in the year when the deadline ends.

Even if you made a loss, the income tax department needs documentation to accept it.

If you wish to withdraw this money for other uses, you must close the account formally.

You must submit Form G to your bank, explaining why you want to withdraw.

If you do not use this money for property purchase, it may be taxed.

Please speak to a chartered accountant for exact tax impact before withdrawal.

Avoid using this fund until you have tax clarity and proper documentation.

Your Monthly Income Requirement – First Focus Area
As a retired person, your priority is monthly income and capital safety.

Let us assume you need Rs. 35,000–40,000 per month for living expenses.

This amount must come from interest or investment income, not from selling assets.

You currently have SIP of Rs. 16,000/month and Rs. 34 lakh in mutual funds.

You can start a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from these mutual funds.

Start with Rs. 25,000 monthly withdrawal for the next 6–12 months.

The SIP can continue at Rs. 16,000 if cash flow allows.

Top up the balance Rs. 10,000–15,000 monthly from your savings account.

If needed, use PPF interest, which is tax-free, to manage shortfall.

Your Savings Account – Ideal Usage Strategy
Rs. 7 lakh in your savings account is good but should not stay idle.

Shift Rs. 4 lakh to a short-term debt mutual fund or liquid fund.

Keep Rs. 3 lakh as emergency fund in savings for medical or urgent needs.

Don’t keep all in one bank. Use 2 banks if needed for safety.

Mutual Funds Portfolio – Core Strategy and Monthly Income
Rs. 34 lakh in mutual funds is a strong base.

Continue with only regular plans via MFD who is also a CFP.

Avoid direct funds. They don’t provide guidance or timely review.

You need periodic rebalancing based on your retirement age and market cycle.

Use actively managed balanced advantage and hybrid funds.

These provide equity growth with stability and lower downside risk.

Withdraw using SWP from these funds to generate regular income.

Start with 4–5% annual withdrawal. Increase slowly if needed.

Avoid index funds. They just copy the market and offer no risk control.

In falling markets, actively managed funds protect capital better.

Your Certified Financial Planner can guide which funds to choose and exit.

PPF – How to Use the Rs. 28 Lakhs Safely
You have Rs. 28 lakh in PPF. It is 100% tax-free and safe.

Do not withdraw unless very urgent.

PPF earns steady interest every year without risk.

You can extend PPF in 5-year blocks with or without fresh contributions.

Use it as a reserve to support health care or large expenses.

Don’t touch this for property investment unless no other option exists.

LIC Policy – Planning the Maturity in 2028
You will receive Rs. 12 lakh in 2028.

This can be a good future buffer for medical or long-term care.

LIC returns are usually lower than mutual funds.

Once you receive the maturity, shift the amount to mutual funds.

Start a fresh SWP from this amount in 2029, if needed.

Don’t invest this lump sum again in insurance products.

Real Estate Purchase Plan – Review It Carefully
You are planning to buy a property worth Rs. 90 lakh to Rs. 1 crore.

Please think twice before locking big money in real estate.

Real estate gives zero liquidity and high maintenance cost.

Selling real estate later can be slow and stressful.

Rental income is not guaranteed and is often low compared to invested corpus.

You will be forced to withdraw from mutual funds or PPF for down payment.

This will reduce your income-generating assets.

Instead of buying, consider staying on rent.

This will keep your money free, accessible, and invested.

In case of emergency or health issues, liquid investments help more.

Buying property now will break your cash flow and lower monthly income.

Think from a cash flow view, not emotional attachment.

Suggested Investment Allocation from Available Corpus
Rs. 35 lakh: Keep in CGAS till you get tax clarity.

Rs. 34 lakh in Mutual Funds: Keep 75% in hybrid and 25% in large-cap funds.

Rs. 28 lakh PPF: Keep untouched. Extend for 5 years post-maturity.

Rs. 7 lakh in SB: Keep Rs. 3 lakh in savings. Shift Rs. 4 lakh to debt funds.

Rs. 12 lakh LIC maturity: Plan to move to mutual funds in 2028.

Emergency and Health Safety – Must for Seniors
Health costs are unpredictable.

Ensure you have a health insurance of Rs. 10–15 lakh with good hospitals covered.

Don’t depend only on savings for health expenses.

You can keep Rs. 5 lakh in liquid funds only for health emergencies.

Also keep one family member informed of your accounts and investments.

Key Investment Mistakes to Avoid at This Stage
Don’t invest in ULIPs, endowment plans, or pension-linked policies now.

Don’t go for annuity schemes. Returns are very low and taxable.

Avoid fixed deposits for long term. Interest is taxable and eroded by inflation.

Don’t follow friends’ tips or invest in trends blindly.

Do not invest based on emotions or fear of missing out.

Focus on regular monthly return and capital safety, not risky growth.

Finally
You have done well in building assets before retirement.

The next goal is to convert your assets into reliable monthly income.

Do not rush into buying real estate. Keep cash flow strong and flexible.

Focus on mutual fund-based SWP for income and keep PPF as reserve.

Use a Certified Financial Planner to manage fund review and tax planning.

Avoid unnecessary complications and risky options.

Stay invested wisely. Protect your retirement with safe, planned income.

Regular check-ins and fund reviews every 6 months will help adjust your plan.

With good planning, you can enjoy peace, safety, and dignity in retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Janak

Janak Patel  |45 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jun 05, 2025

Money
I AM 80 YEARS OLD AND STILL WORKING AS A Consultant AND EARNING RS.1.5 LAKHS PER MONTH. I HAVE A CORPUS OF 182 LAKHS CONSISTING OF MF/ FD/ AND STOCKS. I CONTEMPLATE RETIRING IN 6 MONTHS. REQUEST PL.SUGGEST IF MY CURRENT CORPUS WILL SUFFICE UNTIL AGE OF 95. MY MONTHLY EXPENSES ARE RS.50000.00. I HAVE NO LIABILITY AND MY WIFE IS THE ONLY DEPENDENT. SELF AND WIFE ARE CO.VERED UNDER MEDICLAIM.AWAITING UR VALUED OPINION
Ans: Hi Sivaramakrishnan,

Congratulations on having an active working life at the age of 80.

For your monthly expenses of Rs 50000 and assuming an inflation of 7% over the next 15 years, you require approx. Rs 85 lakhs (today).

You already have Rs 182 lakhs (not including any further savings over the next 6 months) invested across MF/ FD/ and STOCKS.

I recommend you have a systematic withdrawal plan from your investments for your annual expenses.
Depending on how you have spread your investments, you can decide on the approach.
For MFs - its simple to do a SWP for an amount each month.
For FDs - you may need to liquidate them, so instead of breaking them, plan to use them at their maturity if its within six months of your requirement. if the maturity is long term, and you have a need then you may need to liquidate. Also check if there is an option to make them Sweep-in type FD, which means that when your account has less balance, it will move money from FD to account. Discuss with your bank on options available to you.
For Stocks - You can decide when to liquidate them. If you wish to move away from stocks, then you can consider investing in so hybrid Mutual fund schemes considering your time horizon.

Overall you will be looking to grow approx. Rs 1 crore over the next 15 years and this can grow to an amount of Rs 3 crores at 8% returns.

So your current corpus is more than sufficient and even if you increase your monthly expenses, you will have a surplus after 15 years.
Happy retirement and a healthy life ahead.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x