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Neglected and Feeling Unwanted at 77: Should I Move to a Retirement Home?

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7720 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi

Money

I'm 77,my wife 74,married for 47 years We are well settled. My wife doesn't like intimacy now because she is secure because of our son who manages family and business very well. I'm retired with just ok income. Family got settled due to my earning for 50 years. I feel neglected and insulted. To find some solace I'm considering to join some old age home. I can manage my expences. Please suggest about my plan.

Ans: Assessing Financial Readiness:
Moving to an old age home is a major financial decision. It’s important to ensure that your current income and savings can comfortably cover all associated costs, including monthly fees, medical expenses, and any additional services. Make sure your financial plan is sustainable for the long term.

Estate Planning:
Before making any major life changes, ensure your estate planning is up to date. This includes having a clear will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives in place. Proper planning will provide peace of mind and ensure your wishes are respected.

Maintaining Financial Flexibility:
Even if you move to an old age home, maintaining a financial buffer is crucial. Ensure that you have liquid assets available for any unexpected expenses. This could include a combination of savings accounts, fixed deposits, and short-term debt funds.

Final Insights
Evaluate your financial situation carefully before deciding to move to an old age home. Ensure your income, investments, and estate plans are in order to support this new phase of life comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.

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i am 65 years old person religious active in pvt services getting handsome salary my wife expired in may 23 and i am along living in big house at noida having own property and car lavish life but no use . i have cook and maid servant part time . looking living relation adjustable lady loving nature without issue can take care . my children are married and living in faridabad and gurgaon coming oftenly . please advise

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
What you are looking for is something people used to put out as an ad in the newspaper...well, you might try your luck through the old route as well.
Another place that I see 60+ individuals find like-minded people is exclusive trips organized for senior citizens. You can go onto the internet to get more information on this. This will enable you to travel and see places and also connect with similar people with similar interests.
You can also join organizations like Rotary where people meet and who knows you might come across someone who shares your thoughts and views.
There are also Dating apps for the older population which again you can try and figure out if that is the place that you want to explore.
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Question by Shankar - Jun 03, 2024Hindi

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Thank you for the suggestion. But I havs decided to join a old age care centre where I will find my category people. My savings and pension can take care of my expences. I completed my commitments and responsibilities by giving my bungalow, money vehicle etc to my wife and son No point in living with a wife who is not willing for any type of compromise but wants all my earnings and comfortable housse

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The decision is obviously yours to make.
Just make whatever decision you wish to after considering 'what next and how will it be after this'?
Also, have you found out if your wife is also making some compromise in this marriage? Life is not one dimensional, you know...Just saying!

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I am 77 years man. Lost my wife 4 years ago. Accidentally I met my First Love after 55 years. She is currently two time divorces with well settled 2 married children staying independently and separately. I have two well settled children and i stay with them alternatively n they take care of all my expenses. I am happy and spend time with my grandchildren. The question is that NOW my love of 55 years ago want me to shift and live with her. She assures to take care of me completely in all aspects of old age life n ailments. She has her own house n she is stlll working in very high position and is independent. Please advise.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have a good set-up for yourself. The question is: Why would you want to stir things up, move away from what feels comfortable at your age?
Especially when you know that your expenses have been covered by your children, would you be willing to give up a roof over your head, leave your family and move in with her?
She does mention that she will take care of you; my suggestion is...go n experience it for a few weeks for yourself. At 77, there are a few things that you may find difficult to adjust to and you really don't need to mend backwards to adjust. At the same time, it maybe a welcome change for you to have a companion.
Talk to your children; they may resist this at first and reprimand you for having such thoughts but at the end of the day, it's your life...You can tell them that you will try the arrangement for a few weeks and then come to a decision...that will also give the lady an idea whether she is able to take on your responsibility as well. Talking about things and experiencing them are two different things. Just that, you must look ta your comfort and stability in this phase of your life before making any decisions.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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