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Neglected and Feeling Unwanted at 77: Should I Move to a Retirement Home?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7363 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
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Money

I'm 77,my wife 74,married for 47 years We are well settled. My wife doesn't like intimacy now because she is secure because of our son who manages family and business very well. I'm retired with just ok income. Family got settled due to my earning for 50 years. I feel neglected and insulted. To find some solace I'm considering to join some old age home. I can manage my expences. Please suggest about my plan.

Ans: Assessing Financial Readiness:
Moving to an old age home is a major financial decision. It’s important to ensure that your current income and savings can comfortably cover all associated costs, including monthly fees, medical expenses, and any additional services. Make sure your financial plan is sustainable for the long term.

Estate Planning:
Before making any major life changes, ensure your estate planning is up to date. This includes having a clear will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives in place. Proper planning will provide peace of mind and ensure your wishes are respected.

Maintaining Financial Flexibility:
Even if you move to an old age home, maintaining a financial buffer is crucial. Ensure that you have liquid assets available for any unexpected expenses. This could include a combination of savings accounts, fixed deposits, and short-term debt funds.

Final Insights
Evaluate your financial situation carefully before deciding to move to an old age home. Ensure your income, investments, and estate plans are in order to support this new phase of life comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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I am 77 years man. Lost my wife 4 years ago. Accidentally I met my First Love after 55 years. She is currently two time divorces with well settled 2 married children staying independently and separately. I have two well settled children and i stay with them alternatively n they take care of all my expenses. I am happy and spend time with my grandchildren. The question is that NOW my love of 55 years ago want me to shift and live with her. She assures to take care of me completely in all aspects of old age life n ailments. She has her own house n she is stlll working in very high position and is independent. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have a good set-up for yourself. The question is: Why would you want to stir things up, move away from what feels comfortable at your age?
Especially when you know that your expenses have been covered by your children, would you be willing to give up a roof over your head, leave your family and move in with her?
She does mention that she will take care of you; my suggestion is...go n experience it for a few weeks for yourself. At 77, there are a few things that you may find difficult to adjust to and you really don't need to mend backwards to adjust. At the same time, it maybe a welcome change for you to have a companion.
Talk to your children; they may resist this at first and reprimand you for having such thoughts but at the end of the day, it's your life...You can tell them that you will try the arrangement for a few weeks and then come to a decision...that will also give the lady an idea whether she is able to take on your responsibility as well. Talking about things and experiencing them are two different things. Just that, you must look ta your comfort and stability in this phase of your life before making any decisions.

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I have lost money around 8 lakhs in gambling now i want to restart my life fresh i need to settle my debts and loan with bank and NBFCs is it possible to settle money at 70 percent waived off
Ans: Restarting your life after financial setbacks is possible with a disciplined approach. Settling your debts with banks and NBFCs requires a strategic plan, negotiation, and commitment. Here's a 360-degree approach to help you resolve your situation:

Assess Your Current Financial Position
List All Debts: Create a detailed list of all outstanding loans and debts, including principal, interest, and penalties.

Identify Income Sources: Calculate your monthly income and any other sources of funds.

Evaluate Essential Expenses: Identify non-negotiable expenses such as rent, food, utilities, and transport.

Determine Negotiable Debts: Focus on debts with higher interest rates or legal implications.

Negotiating with Lenders
Possibility of Settling at 70% Waiver
Banks and NBFCs Are Open to Negotiation: They prefer recovering some amount rather than declaring a loan as non-performing.

Settlement Terms Vary: Each lender may have unique policies. Some might agree to 70% waiver, but others may not.

Present Your Case Transparently: Show proof of your financial hardship. Explain your inability to pay in full.

Request a One-Time Settlement (OTS): Offer to pay a lump sum of the waived-off amount to close the debt.

Steps to Negotiate Effectively
Reach Out to the Right Department: Contact the collections or recovery department of your lender.

Seek Professional Help: A certified financial planner or debt resolution expert can negotiate on your behalf.

Prepare a Settlement Plan: Propose a realistic amount you can pay. Mention the sources for this payment.

Ask for Written Confirmation: Ensure the lender provides a formal agreement on the waived-off amount.

Negotiate for Reduced Interest and Penalties: Request removal of penalties and reduction of interest rates.

Managing Your Financial Obligations
Repayment Strategy
Prioritise High-Interest Loans: Focus on clearing loans with higher interest rates first.

Consolidate Debts: Consider consolidating multiple loans into one with a lower interest rate.

Use Liquid Assets Wisely: If you have savings or assets, use them to reduce your debt burden.

Building a Fresh Financial Foundation
Avoid Gambling and High-Risk Activities
Adopt Healthy Habits: Seek professional help if gambling is an addiction. Join support groups like Gamblers Anonymous.

Focus on Financial Literacy: Learn to manage your money effectively through courses or books.

Create a Budget and Emergency Fund
Track Income and Expenses: Use apps or spreadsheets to monitor your financial activity.

Save for Emergencies: Set aside 3–6 months of expenses as a safety net.

Restart Investments Gradually
Start with SIPs: Begin investing small amounts in mutual funds. Avoid direct stock trading initially.

Build a Retirement Corpus: Plan for long-term financial security systematically.

Final Insights
Rebuilding your life after a financial setback takes effort but is achievable. Focus on negotiating your debts transparently and settling them systematically. Learn from past mistakes and adopt disciplined financial habits. Restart your journey with renewed confidence and a commitment to avoid risky behaviours. Seek professional guidance when needed to make informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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