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Reuniting with First Love After 55 Years: Should I Move in at 77?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 77 years man. Lost my wife 4 years ago. Accidentally I met my First Love after 55 years. She is currently two time divorces with well settled 2 married children staying independently and separately. I have two well settled children and i stay with them alternatively n they take care of all my expenses. I am happy and spend time with my grandchildren. The question is that NOW my love of 55 years ago want me to shift and live with her. She assures to take care of me completely in all aspects of old age life n ailments. She has her own house n she is stlll working in very high position and is independent. Please advise.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have a good set-up for yourself. The question is: Why would you want to stir things up, move away from what feels comfortable at your age?
Especially when you know that your expenses have been covered by your children, would you be willing to give up a roof over your head, leave your family and move in with her?
She does mention that she will take care of you; my suggestion is...go n experience it for a few weeks for yourself. At 77, there are a few things that you may find difficult to adjust to and you really don't need to mend backwards to adjust. At the same time, it maybe a welcome change for you to have a companion.
Talk to your children; they may resist this at first and reprimand you for having such thoughts but at the end of the day, it's your life...You can tell them that you will try the arrangement for a few weeks and then come to a decision...that will also give the lady an idea whether she is able to take on your responsibility as well. Talking about things and experiencing them are two different things. Just that, you must look ta your comfort and stability in this phase of your life before making any decisions.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
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I'm 77,my wife 74,married for 47 years We are well settled. My wife doesn't like intimacy now because she is secure because of our son who manages family and business very well. I'm retired with just ok income. Family got settled due to my earning for 50 years. I feel neglected and insulted. To find some solace I'm considering to join some old age home. I can manage my expences. Please suggest about my plan.
Ans: Assessing Financial Readiness:
Moving to an old age home is a major financial decision. It’s important to ensure that your current income and savings can comfortably cover all associated costs, including monthly fees, medical expenses, and any additional services. Make sure your financial plan is sustainable for the long term.

Estate Planning:
Before making any major life changes, ensure your estate planning is up to date. This includes having a clear will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives in place. Proper planning will provide peace of mind and ensure your wishes are respected.

Maintaining Financial Flexibility:
Even if you move to an old age home, maintaining a financial buffer is crucial. Ensure that you have liquid assets available for any unexpected expenses. This could include a combination of savings accounts, fixed deposits, and short-term debt funds.

Final Insights
Evaluate your financial situation carefully before deciding to move to an old age home. Ensure your income, investments, and estate plans are in order to support this new phase of life comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
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www.holisticinvestment.in

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi , I am a 42+yrs man ,working in a BPO,dealing with Domestic violence case imposed on me for not paying maintenance(Almost emptied my saving still accused me of that),filed divorce in my defense apart from DV case.daughter of 7yrs. Wife not allowing me to do any savings but she is making savings,Gold,flats ,renovating maternal home .She is not contributing in non-profit expense .she even asked for 30lacs to get relieved from her. I got involved with a 36yr old lady who had a bad breakup and she needed emotional support and I had too due to my personal family issues and no good terms with wife . 55k monthly income TATA AIA 2 Lakhs yearly investement PF 4.5lakhs 2.5 lakh Life insurance investment against return of 5lakhs in 10yrs KVP-5 lakhs(India post) An undivided property. Not sure how to approach retirement financial security with my 69yrs old mother . Please advise an approach in this situation.
Ans: Current Financial Position
You earn Rs. 55,000 monthly. You invest Rs. 2 lakhs annually in TATA AIA. Your Provident Fund (PF) balance is Rs. 4.5 lakhs. You have life insurance with a return of Rs. 5 lakhs in 10 years. Your Kisan Vikas Patra (KVP) is worth Rs. 5 lakhs. Additionally, you have an undivided property. These assets need careful management for future security.

Immediate Financial Needs
Legal Expenses

You are facing legal issues, including domestic violence and divorce cases. Allocate a portion of your savings for legal fees. This ensures you have resources to defend yourself properly.

Daily Living Expenses

Your wife is not contributing to non-profit expenses. It is crucial to budget carefully. Track your monthly expenses and cut unnecessary costs. Ensure basic needs for you and your daughter are met.

Emergency Fund

Create an emergency fund. This should cover at least six months of living expenses. Given your legal situation, this fund is essential. It will help you manage any unforeseen expenses without financial strain.

Investment Strategy
Review Current Investments

You have significant investments, but they need reevaluation. The TATA AIA investment and life insurance policy might not yield the best returns. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to explore better options.

Kisan Vikas Patra (KVP)

KVP is a safe investment but offers moderate returns. Assess if this aligns with your long-term goals. It might be beneficial to diversify your investments for better growth.

Undivided Property

This property can be a valuable asset. Evaluate its potential for sale or rental income. This can provide additional financial support.

Future Financial Security
Retirement Planning

At 42, it is vital to plan for retirement. Start by estimating your retirement needs. Consider inflation and future living expenses. Increase your PF contributions if possible. Look into diversified mutual funds for better growth.

Mother’s Financial Support

Your mother is 69 years old. Ensure she has adequate financial support. This includes healthcare and living expenses. Set aside funds specifically for her needs.

Education Fund for Daughter

Your daughter is 7 years old. Start an education fund for her. Consider child education plans or mutual funds. This ensures her future education expenses are covered.

Dealing with Personal Issues
Emotional and Legal Support

You are dealing with significant personal stress. Seek professional legal and emotional support. This can help you manage the situation better. Join support groups or seek counseling for emotional well-being.

New Relationship

Your new relationship should be approached with caution. Ensure it does not complicate your legal issues. Prioritize resolving your current family situation first.

Investment Advice
Actively Managed Funds

Avoid index funds due to their limited flexibility. Actively managed funds, with a Certified Financial Planner’s guidance, offer better growth potential. They are managed by experts who make informed decisions, aiming for higher returns.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds

Direct funds might seem cost-effective but lack professional guidance. Regular funds, managed by a CFP, ensure expert handling of your investments. This can lead to better performance and peace of mind.

Final Insights
Your situation is complex, involving financial, legal, and personal issues. Prioritize legal and daily living expenses. Build an emergency fund and plan for future security. Consult a CFP for personalized investment advice. This ensures a 360-degree approach to managing your finances and securing your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Hi,my son has got 96% in his icse class 10 exams this year.he is not inclined towards a career in sciences (b.tech/med).he has thus opted for commerce and maths.with an initial inclination towards finance and mathematics we have shortlisted ipm and law and enrolled him for a coaching for ipm.would he be able to prepare for clat as well along with ipm.and with 96 % how are his chances to clear both ?
Ans: Yes, your son can prepare for both CLAT and IPM exams simultaneously, especially given his ICSE score. With a 96% score, he has a strong chance of success in both exams. CLAT and IPM share some common ground, which could make preparation more manageable.
Preparation for both CLAT and IPM:
CLAT:
CLAT requires a strong foundation in English comprehension, logical reasoning, quantitative reasoning, and legal reasoning. IPM exams also test similar skills.
IPM:
IPM exams focus on quantitative ability, analytical reasoning, and verbal reasoning. CLAT also assesses these skills.
Overlap:
The core skills tested in both exams, such as quantitative reasoning, verbal reasoning, and logical reasoning, provide common ground for preparation. Your son's coaching for IPM can help him develop a solid foundation in these areas.
Legal Reasoning:
CLAT specifically requires legal reasoning, which is not part of IPM. Your son can focus on preparing for this section separately.
Scheduling:
Balancing preparation for both exams requires careful planning. He can allocate specific time slots for each exam's preparation.
Chances of Clearing Both:
IPM:
With a 96% ICSE score, your son has a strong chance of clearing IPM exams. His high marks indicate a strong aptitude for quantitative reasoning and problem-solving.
CLAT:
CLAT is a highly competitive exam, but with his current scores, your son has a very good chance of clearing CLAT.
Factors affecting success:
Preparation efforts, effective time management, and consistency in studying will play a crucial role in determining success in both exams.
Tips for Preparation:
Structured Approach:
A structured study plan that includes regular practice, mock tests, and detailed analysis of mistakes will be beneficial.
Mock Tests:
Regular mock tests for both CLAT and IPM will help him assess his progress and identify areas for improvement.
Time Management:
Developing effective time management skills is crucial for balancing preparation for both exams.
Focus on Fundamentals:
Ensure he has a strong foundation in the core subjects of both exams.
Practice:
He should solve a variety of questions and practice problems to build confidence and improve his speed and accuracy.
Best of luck. Professor

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Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
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Hello sir, I'm a DASA student applying to IIITH for the 2025-26 batch. My current curriculum is the NSW HSC from Australia, which includes Mathematics and Physics but not Chemistry. IIITH requires Maths, Physics, and Chemistry for DASA eligibility, and I need to figure out how to add Chemistry.I've been looking into taking Chemistry through NIOS (National Institute of Open Schooling), AP or IB board but I'm concerned because IIITH's brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed "outside India". I've emailed IIITH for clarification, but I'm still waiting for a response. Is this acceptable for DASA?
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NIOS and IIITH:
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AP or IB Chemistry:
You could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry through a foreign board to fulfill the requirement for Chemistry. These are often recognized as international qualifications.
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Dear Sir, My age is 33 year now. I was working in financial sector for 5year as a recovery agent. I have done intermediate in Arts and Diploma in mechanical engineering. Passed out in 2012. Now i want to change my job sector to technical line. I have no experience before in technical line. Please guide me which technical job will be best suitable for me And What Salary Range Should i expect?.
Ans: For you AMIE ( Mechanical) will be the best option. You will be equivalent to B.E./B.Tech Mechanical. The details are given below.
The AMIE (Associate Member of the Institution of Engineers) exam is a professional qualification in engineering, equivalent to a B.E./B.Tech. degree. It's conducted by the Institution of Engineers (India) (IEI) and is offered as a distance learning program. The exam is held twice a year, in June and December.
Exam Structure:
Stage I (Section A): Focuses on fundamental engineering subjects.
Stage II (Section B): Covers a specific branch of engineering like Civil, Electrical, or Mechanical.
Eligibility:
Educational Qualification:
Candidates must have completed a recognized course of study in engineering or technology.
Age:
No upper age limit, but candidates must be at least 18 years old on the first day of the examination.
Other:
Indian citizens or foreign nationals with at least two years of residence in India.
Exam Pattern:
The exam is based on multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
It can be taken online (CBT) or offline (PBT).
Benefits:
Becoming a graduate engineer with the same qualification as a B.E./B.Tech. degree.
Recognized by government and private sectors.
Least expensive compared to traditional degree programs.
Application Process:
Download the application form from the IEI website.
Fill out the form and attach the required documents.
Pay the application fee.
Submit the application form along with the fee.

But since you did the recovery work in Finance sector you are totally detached from Mechanical Engineering. So it is not possible to say what kind of job you will get and what will be your salary.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |393 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 14, 2025

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I'm preparing for Neet and wanted to take a drop but my parents wanted me to do something with it like a partial Drop......And right now I'm totally confused what to do and what not.........i think I should take BSC zoology in private colleges , can anyone suggest me something..........
Ans: Hi Prirhvi,

Based on your query, there are two main issues to consider:

1. You want to take a break (which may be partial or full).
2. You want to pursue a BSc in Zoology.

Before making any decisions, take some time to think and analyze your situation.

Firstly, evaluate your marks in the HSC and your recent NEET exam scores (if you have appeared for NEET 2025). If you have completed both exams, focus on turning your weaker subjects into strengths. Be prepared to answer any questions someone may pose. Without this preparation, taking a break may not be effective.

Secondly, if you decide to take a gap year, you should not also consider studying another course concurrently, as this could divert your attention and hinder your main goal. Remember, undergraduate courses are semester-based, meaning you will need to manage both NEET preparation and your regular UG courses (including internal exams, semester exams, etc.). Juggling both can be quite challenging.

If you believe it is possible to manage both, I suggest that instead of choosing Zoology for your UG, you consider subjects like Chemistry or Physics. These subjects are foundational and can be better understood through regular UG coursework. Therefore, you should not worry too much about that particular subject. However, it’s not advisable to select Zoology and take a break for NEET preparation at the same time. If you have doubts in Physics or Chemistry, you can seek clarification from your lecturers.

In summary, my suggestion is to concentrate on one goal and work towards achieving it.

BEST WISHES.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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