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Wife's Past Affair - Should I Be Worried?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Maxxtida Question by Maxxtida on Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello My wife has affair before marriage, she has reveal her self, the relation ship has done before 2019, she said she has not having any physical relation ship, she has trusted me and revealed it, but this matters bothering me. what to do?

Ans: It's understandable that your wife's revelation is bothering you, even though the relationship ended before you got married. The key here is that she trusted you enough to share this with you, which shows her commitment to being honest and open in your marriage.

It's important to remember that everyone has a past, and what matters most is the relationship you both have now. Focus on the trust and bond you share today. If you find that these feelings continue to bother you, it might help to have a calm, honest conversation with her about how you're feeling. Express your emotions without blaming or judging, and work together to reassure each other.

If these feelings persist and affect your relationship, seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist could be beneficial. They can help you navigate these emotions and strengthen your bond.
Asked on - Oct 10, 2024 | Answered on Oct 13, 2024
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Ans: all the best

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

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I have been married from last 20 years. It's arrange marriage and before marriage told me let she had an affair with a har college friend dena hai asked that if any relation physical relation has been done she said no I trusted her and married her but after 4 years of marriage I am notice that she didn't paid any attention or don't love me I always thought that there are some mistakes from my side that's why she behave like this . From last 16 years I was suffering from the situation. Recently I come to know when I saw her mobile accidentally and I come to know that she has the same affair from last 16 years with the same guy when I ask about this she told me that it was by mistake I am sorry I won't do this again after some pressureise she also told me that she did a physical relation with him before marriage and after marriage too. I was shocked cause physically I am fit and capable to satisfy her with all the way still she cheated me. Now she confess me all the things and told me promise me that she won't do any mistake henceforth. But no problem is whenever I am trying to get physical or emotional with her some thoughts in my mind game that she did all the things with another guy and cheating me so I can't make any relation ship with her. How can I trust her again we have to kids 10 year each. Please tell me what to do I am frustrated
Ans: Dear Trade,
You need to decide if you wish to trust her or not. It is difficult obviously with what you have discovered. But if you have chosen to carry on within the marriage, the only way that the mind can be managed is to accept what has happened and work with how things are today.
Give your marriage another chance and only then you can work your work through otherwise you will spend time only thinking about her cheating and what she did with the other person which anyone is not working well for you.
So, are you ready to forgive and move on OR hold onto the past? No decision is right or wrong; it's just what you want and then when you make that decision, make everything else work in favor of that decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1561 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Career
Sir my daughter is doing Btech EEE at BIT Mesra Patna campus , she is securing 8 CGPA there . She is little bit upset due to poor placement there , what to do
Ans: Hello Alok.
Nothing will happen with an upset mood, and there is no point in blaming the institute at this stage. It is better to search for another path while completing the B.Tech. @ BIT Mesra. Here are a few suggestions for your daughter: (1) Start preparing for the GATE exam, which opens the doors for MTech at IITs/NITs or PSU jobs (like BHEL, NTPC, ONGC). (2) Focus on GRE and MBA (3) Join online Platforms: Coursera, NPTEL, Udemy, LinkedIn for advanced learning techniques related with EEE and CSE (4) Focus on Off-Campus Job Preparation, in which she can prepare for Aptitude, Coding, Core concepts etc (5) While in final year, create accounts on LinkedIn, Indeed, AngelList, naukri.com etc/ (5) If possible, join CDAC (Centre for Development of Advanced Computing) offer excellent 6-month PG diplomas with placement support (great ROI).(6) Talk to seniors/alumni for realistic inspiration and off-campus job guidance. (7) Consider a mock placement drive or aptitude training course in the final year.
Best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming bright future.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4453 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2025
Career
My daughter 90percentile in jee mains 2025,and puc board exam 95.6 percentage and kcet is 101 marks we are obc ncl and catgory 1 reservation can we get nit surathkal college for admission or other top 3 college in bangalore and she want to take jee advance 2025 , which branchas scope and high package
Ans: As far as KCET is concerned,? here are the some approximate expected KCET opening and closing ranks for the OBC-NCL category across four top engineering colleges in Bengaluru:?

RV College of Engineering (RVCE)
Computer Science & Engineering: Opening – 2,000 | Closing – 3,000
Electronics & Communication Engineering: Opening – 2,500 | Closing – 3,500
Electrical & Electronics Engineering: Opening – 3,000 | Closing – 4,500
Mechanical Engineering: Opening – 4,000 | Closing – 6,000
Civil Engineering: Opening – 5,000 | Closing – 7,000?

BMS College of Engineering (BMSCE)
Computer Science & Engineering: Opening – 2,500 | Closing – 4,000
Electronics & Communication Engineering: Opening – 3,000 | Closing – 5,000
Electrical & Electronics Engineering: Opening – 4,500 | Closing – 6,500
Mechanical Engineering: Opening – 6,000 | Closing – 8,000
Civil Engineering: Opening – 7,000 | Closing – 9,000?

M S Ramaiah Institute of Technology (MSRIT)
Computer Science & Engineering: Opening – 2,200 | Closing – 3,800
Electronics & Communication Engineering: Opening – 3,500 | Closing – 5,500
Electrical & Electronics Engineering: Opening – 5,000 | Closing – 7,000
Mechanical Engineering: Opening – 6,500 | Closing – 8,500
Civil Engineering: Opening – 7,500 | Closing – 9,500?

Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (DSCE)
Computer Science & Engineering: Opening – 3,000 | Closing – 5,000
Electronics & Communication Engineering: Opening – 4,500 | Closing – 6,500
Electrical & Electronics Engineering: Opening – 6,000 | Closing – 8,000
Mechanical Engineering: Opening – 7,500 | Closing – 9,500
Civil Engineering: Opening – 8,500 | Closing – 10,500?

Note: The above ranks are indicative and based on available data for the OBC-NCL category. Every year, actual cutoffs may vary based on factors like seat availability, reservation policies, and candidate preferences.

?Regarding the chances of getting seats through JEE/JoSAA Counselling, here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Daughter's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Daughter's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Her JEE Main percentile
Her category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Her Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Her Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If your daughter is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select her Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.

Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your daughter's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4453 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2025
Career
I got 98.02%ile in JEE MAINS session 2 . (EWS) Can I get TOP NIT (CSE) ?? EWS RANK 4146
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.

Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

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