Hello ..please help me ...i was with someone for 4years.i had tolerated everything .the slangs the slaps ..domestic violence and abuse was all over there ...and after all of this i had said him that i dont want to be with him anymore...and after 2 3months i was with someone else ..everything had ended with him ..and he is coming now and saying he will show the personal pics of ours to my parents ..what should i do now ..please suggest...my parents are very strict ...

Ans: Dear Neha,
When it has come to blackmailing, I suggest kindly involve your Dad. He knows how to protect his daughter and he will do so. But if you don't feel comfortable or you feel awkward, confide in a family member who is old enough to deal with this 'creep' who definitely seems to get a kick out of all this. If he is underage, his parents will have to be involved to drive some sense inside of him and if he is an adult, the cops giving him a warning can put him in his place.
DO NOT FEAR. Creeps like these are weak and simply prey on girls who crumble under their pressure. Put up a brave front...Also, do not speak with one-on-one OR meet him alone ever. Keep a record of all your text messages and record any future voice conversations. It will help to push him back and again: DO NOT FEAR...Feeling power within you will reach him and he will think before acting hastily...Involve an elder family member ASAP PLEASE...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very clear that the Ex did have a way with him and his mother. They seemed to have some sort of a bond that is still strong and they make no move to loosen it knowing that there is a new person now...

How is it the son and mother haven't had an inkling that their cozying up to the Ex, can prevent a new relationship from growing?
It's a nice thought to be all mature about the Ex, but only when such a conversation has happened before.
Did your boyfriend not think that this might cause issues in his relationship with you?
Did he not think that a conversation that he is in touch with his Ex should come up?

What is a red flag here is the fact that he assumes that his action will be okay with you...Isn't that taking you for granted?
It is easy to skim over this as nothing and maybe it is really nothing, but if you have felt triggered, do not shove this under the carpet. What feels uncomfortable to you, must be addressed by your boyfriend. What he does or doesn't will have a direct impact on you and your relationship with him. So address it ASAP before it grows branches and trees in your mind.
And of course, there is no way of preventing what his mother does. You might have to ignore it as she is her own person and has the right to maintain her relationships even if is with her son's Ex...it will be uncomfortable for you, but do let it be...
Trust is one of the pillars in any relationship and if any action or inaction disturbs that trust, address it immediately. Please have that chat with your boyfriend and acknowledge that there is a RED FLAG. Also, discuss your future...if he has reservations settling down, I am sure you know what to do...It's your life, make wise choices...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 18 when you are still emotionally immature and financially not yet stable, what else do you expect your parents to do?
They are doing what they think is the right thing for you to keep you safe. My suggestion would be to focus on what must matter to you most at this age; your studies...put down your goals and stick to them...
As cruel as it may seem to you that the whole world is against your association with the boy, remember that you have a life ahead of you that will give you the necessary space for such a relationship...so work towards yourself first, so that when you actually get into a relationship, you know that it is right for you!
Right now, you know that your parents may very well pull you out from studies and there goes your dreams of a better future...So, please stop being foolish and step up for yourself and do what's right for you!

All the best!