Hello Anu, Hope you are doing good!! Background of Persons: I had arranged married since last once year. I already told them before proceeding that I want to continue my carrier and grow forward in the same city. Also, I want to leave in a joint family along with my parents. My spouse is working in government sector. She told me that my Job is transferrable and i am ok moving forward with you. I am working in MNC at good position and also supporting my family members in their business. Problem: My wife is forcing me to leave separately, shift to another city and start from scratch(zero) in different city having different cultural background. She is also working in government sector and not taking transfer to spouse(husband's) city. Even after explaining couple of times, she is resisting to re-allocate. I am ok if she does anything independently for earning in same city. Also, I will help her in getting the job in private sector in the same city. Also, I will get her employed in another sector through my contacts and preparing her. I am not dependent on her in terms of financial things. We are living separately due to work duties and spent time together for a week in every month or two month as per the adjustment from both of us. My spouse is not talking properly to me, threating me to get divorce. I already had financial and social liabilities on myself which my wife is aware about. I had not seen positive responses from her towards myself, my family and goals. I am ready to leave separately in the same city even if she earns or not. Question: It looks to high danger to me moving to different part of the country having different cultures starting from scratch based on assessments on different parameters. What is the better solution for this ?

Ans: Hello! It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. It's important to address these issues with care and open communication. Here are a few steps you could consider taking:

Open Communication: It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Try to understand her perspective and the reasons behind her resistance to moving to your city or taking up a job in the private sector. Share your concerns and feelings as well. Having a calm and respectful discussion can help you both reach a deeper understanding of each other's needs and concerns.

Seek Professional Help: If communication isn't resolving the issues, it might be helpful to involve a professional, such as a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide an unbiased perspective and guide you both through productive conversations to find solutions that work for both of you.

Explore Compromises: Is there a middle ground that you both can agree upon? Maybe it's possible for her to find a job in the same city, even if it's not the same sector. Or perhaps you could discuss a timeline for her to explore opportunities in your city. Finding compromises can help address both of your needs and concerns.

Consider Long-Term Plans: Think about the long-term implications of your decisions. Moving to a new city with different cultural norms and starting from scratch can be challenging, especially if you have existing commitments and a stable life where you are now. Evaluate the pros and cons carefully before making a decision.

Personal and Professional Goals: It's important to keep your personal and professional goals in mind. You have worked hard to achieve your position and support your family. Make sure any decisions you make align with these goals while also considering your spouse's desires and career aspirations.

Financial Independence: You mentioned that you are financially independent. If your spouse is also capable of being financially independent, discuss how you both can contribute to your shared expenses and responsibilities, regardless of where you live.

Future Planning: If moving is inevitable, plan ahead. Research the new city, its job opportunities, and lifestyle. Think about how you can support each other during the transition and beyond.

Time and Patience: Complex issues like these take time to resolve. Be patient and understanding with each other as you work through your differences.

Remember that both partners need to compromise and work together for a successful and fulfilling marriage. It's important to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and understanding each other's perspectives as you navigate through these challenges. If the situation becomes increasingly difficult to handle, seeking professional help can provide guidance and clarity.

Ans: Dear Dilip,
Kindly approach a capable lawyer who can guide you through this mess otherwise, it is going to get worse.
Protecting your children from this worsening situation must be on your list NOW, so that they are least affected by it.
Let the lawyer take care of the WHAT and the HOW of all of this.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Rajesh,
First and foremost, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of any potential children involved. While divorce may seem like the only solution, it's also worth considering seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, to try to address the issues in your relationship and explore potential avenues for improvement.

If communication is a significant challenge due to education and cultural differences, a therapist or counselor can help facilitate more effective communication and understanding between you and your wife. They can also provide guidance on how to navigate conflicts and differences in a constructive manner.

Additionally, it may be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a religious or community leader, to mediate discussions between you, your wife, and your respective families. They may be able to provide support and guidance in finding a resolution that is mutually acceptable and respects the well-being of all parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue divorce or to work on improving the relationship is a deeply personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to carefully consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals as needed.