Hello ma'am, I am 44 year old man married for 18 years with two children aged 15 and 12. My wife and I have no physical relationship for last 8 years and we basically live like roommates. There is no abuse or fight, just no love left. Now I met someone at office who understands me and I have feelings for her. Should I divorce my wife at this age with teenage children? I am emotionally suffering but worried about children's future and society.

Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Divorce can most times lead to a lot of bitterness and loneliness. Fights can be a sign of emotional breakdown in any relationship. Communication needs to be focused on and this is difficult, I understand given how things are now within your marriage.
Give your marriage a new life and for that you need to focus not on divorce but on how to rebuild it. That seems to be a good way to go; you lose nothing but gain everything.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. This is a very sensitive matter and must be handled carefully. While I can’t tell you what to choose, I can tell you that any decision that hurts your children will not give you peace. The best approach is to take baby steps. They are against this marriage, so for now, stop pitching that to them. Have a conversation and ask them what it is that they are against. It is important to hear them out; their emotions are valid. It will also help them understand that their opinions matter to you. Next, request them to meet your partner. Tell them if they do not like her at all, you will reconsider the whole thing. Again, they will see that their happiness is important for you. See where things go from there.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear R,
Did something trigger this inside of her for her to start suspecting her? Is it that you spend more time outside of home or more at work than at home? Has she been hanging out more with women who are working? Is she burned out with a lot of household chores?
The reasons can be one and many...instead of thinking of a divorce, why not see how you can help or figure out what can help her come out of this loop? At least then you would have taken a step towards making the marriage better, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/