Hello mam, I have done intercaste marriage... Its been two years my father has not accepted it... And annoying and using foul language to my mother... His ego is more important than his daughter.. He is sooo abusive and some time get voilent tooo... I dont know how to deal with him... He never loved my mother hence i choose to do love marriage... I tried to convince him alot before getting married... But he didnt listen to me once... What to do with him

I have a relationship,he is a good guy, understanding,caring,and perfect at every aspect howI want my partner to be.But my father isn't agreeing to the marriage ,just because he earns less,and eant delay marriage by two years.My boyfriend is trying is trying his oevel best to cope up ,even had agreed to talk to my parents,also comvinced his family. The only problem lies is with my father. What shall I do?

will soon be 25 yrs old but havent got a job yet and my partner is 29 yrs old. We know each other for the past 7-8 years and we are in a very healthy relationship so much happy with each other. We hv told about us in our families. They are willing to let their son marry the girl of his choice and in my family except my father everyone is happy for us. My mom likes him so much. He met my mom few times even came to home but havent met my father yet. I hv told my mom about us since march & my father in july. Since then me and my father are having heated arguments whenever i am trying to explain why i cant marry anyone by his choice. And i wish to marry this person. His issues are- Patriarchal thinking that how can a girl choose a guy for her marriage, its their parents job. Who told me to find a guy on her own. Secondly, Him being a maharashtrian. We belong to UP but living in mumbai for more than 25 years and my father has plans to shift back in UP after his retirement which is after 4 years. So he doesnt want me to leave here all alone by myself. Also he doesnt like maharashtrians, not even a bit. Thirdly, he is doing a private job but he is earning 70-80k monthly since my father is a govt employee. Hence he has got issues. What issues i am facing- he is giving all kinds of threats he can to stop me fir even dreaming about to get marry this person. He says even if the earth ends tomorrow i will not let you marry the person of your choice. It is our job to find a groom not yours. My elder brother who is 4 years older than me and my sister who is one year younger than me both are studying in delhi. It is just me and my mom and my younger brother who is in 8th std living here. And none of our relatives lives here. So he is verbally and physically abusing us. Even threatened me to put my partner and his family behind bars if they forces us to get marry. Since our (my and my mom) convincing and explaining to him is falling on deaf ears , we (my & my partner) are willing to take drastic step and get married in court. We are hoping that now only police intervention can help us to be with each other. But we are not taking this step right now cz many things are holding me back but we are willing to take if things goes even more worse later. Since we are not finding it worth to wait for his approval. Nor he wants to listen why i want to marry this person and what are my reasons to refuse any guy my father chooses for me. Neither willing to see or meet my partner. My mother is on my side. She even asked my partner to meet some of our relatives and family friends everyone liked him and us. Its just my father who is having and creating so many issues. Everyone wants to hlp us but jst because of my father's nature (him being a true narcissist perdon) all are hesitating about how to even start a conversation with him unless he doesnt talks abt this with them. My father is also avoiding to talk about this situation with anyone since it will bring down his reputation, what will the society and relatives think about us. Noone will marry my siblings if they get to know about this that their sister has forcefully left the house to marry the guy of her own choice. Please suggest me something what else i can do to make him understand and should i stop making efforts and do whatever i want to not now but after sometime. Take drastic step and leave the house. I also know what will be the consequences of my actions but can i do if he doesnt want me to see me happy or believing in my decisions. Atleast he should listen and see him personally that what i saw in this person. But he doesnt want. Please guide me.

Okay. Thankyou mam. What bothers him.... He is against the whole idea of love marriage. Bcz he thinks guys leave after fake promises. 2. Choosing guy on my own. Its the parent's job. 3. Since I kw him for many years he thinks that I was doing only this thing i.e. finding a guy rather than studying knowing that I was topper. 4. Guys, if refused for marriage they try to harm the grl. He feels specially this happens in maharashtra. I had told him it is happening all over the world not jst here absolutely not only amongst maharashtrians. And those who do such things have different mentality not all ppl does this. Also he is making this an issue of UP vs Maharashtra. 5. He thinks if he allowed me for this marriage then my other siblings will do the same. That he doesnt want at any costs. Also my sister doesnt want to marry a guy of his choice. I dnt kw what will he think when he get to know abt this. 6. He wants me to marry and settle in UP wants to keep me nearby. Not this far since noone can come occasionally or when it is required. I told him we will come by plane if required u dnt need to come rather we will come there. He isnt satisfied with that too. There are many more concerns like this. I am not saying these are very small things. But we have solutions for it. And are ready to make him understand. We initially thought once I will tell my father then I will let my partner meet him. Bt after seeing his reaction my mom n me both are hesitating. What if my father insults him badly or hit him. Bt at the same time we know in person toh milana hi padega..for how long we can avoid it. At the end of the next month my father is planning to meet directly his family. He is saying he will take police along with him. Though I kw he will not do such thing. But he will create tamasha n if he went really then he will insult them badly ..them n also us. Bohat gadbad hojayega. What if dono side se argument hone lg gye. Ek baar k liye ldka sunn bhi lega bt how can his parents. For now..we are waiting patiently how things will turn out..after meeting his family. N when if really my father wants to meet them. Also elder brother who is not having good relations with me nor with my sister and also not with father. And my partner was his classmate during school tym. So he is already against this bcz he is his classmate that's it. For now he is in delhi and Probably he will come back next year. When he will return he is going to make things even difficult for me.