Love Marriage Against Dad's Wishes: Torn Between Family and Love

Hi, I love my parents a lot & the same way is for them, but in my family there are people who might say ill words against my father if he agreed to my decision, its really been 5 years I am trying to convince my father and even my grandfather also convinced him, but still my father is on the same point that I will not let this happen & if you want to do you go ahead but you will never come back here. I know the love and worry he have for me but there are many people ( one pandit) out of nowhere they are coming and askiing me to leave the guy and get marrieg in same caste. How the rules are changed if they know that my relationship is now 16 yrs & now I am making a tough decision of getting court marriage done. But suggest me will there be any tiny hope where I can still ask my father to be on my side. Apart from that he agreed for cousin marrigae in same cast but he will not attend that marrirage for mine atleast he can give me blessing. I was a good bacha for him which really made him hurt and he didnt expected this from me, tell me how can i make them agree

will soon be 25 yrs old but havent got a job yet and my partner is 29 yrs old. We know each other for the past 7-8 years and we are in a very healthy relationship so much happy with each other. We hv told about us in our families. They are willing to let their son marry the girl of his choice and in my family except my father everyone is happy for us. My mom likes him so much. He met my mom few times even came to home but havent met my father yet. I hv told my mom about us since march & my father in july. Since then me and my father are having heated arguments whenever i am trying to explain why i cant marry anyone by his choice. And i wish to marry this person. His issues are- Patriarchal thinking that how can a girl choose a guy for her marriage, its their parents job. Who told me to find a guy on her own. Secondly, Him being a maharashtrian. We belong to UP but living in mumbai for more than 25 years and my father has plans to shift back in UP after his retirement which is after 4 years. So he doesnt want me to leave here all alone by myself. Also he doesnt like maharashtrians, not even a bit. Thirdly, he is doing a private job but he is earning 70-80k monthly since my father is a govt employee. Hence he has got issues. What issues i am facing- he is giving all kinds of threats he can to stop me fir even dreaming about to get marry this person. He says even if the earth ends tomorrow i will not let you marry the person of your choice. It is our job to find a groom not yours. My elder brother who is 4 years older than me and my sister who is one year younger than me both are studying in delhi. It is just me and my mom and my younger brother who is in 8th std living here. And none of our relatives lives here. So he is verbally and physically abusing us. Even threatened me to put my partner and his family behind bars if they forces us to get marry. Since our (my and my mom) convincing and explaining to him is falling on deaf ears , we (my & my partner) are willing to take drastic step and get married in court. We are hoping that now only police intervention can help us to be with each other. But we are not taking this step right now cz many things are holding me back but we are willing to take if things goes even more worse later. Since we are not finding it worth to wait for his approval. Nor he wants to listen why i want to marry this person and what are my reasons to refuse any guy my father chooses for me. Neither willing to see or meet my partner. My mother is on my side. She even asked my partner to meet some of our relatives and family friends everyone liked him and us. Its just my father who is having and creating so many issues. Everyone wants to hlp us but jst because of my father's nature (him being a true narcissist perdon) all are hesitating about how to even start a conversation with him unless he doesnt talks abt this with them. My father is also avoiding to talk about this situation with anyone since it will bring down his reputation, what will the society and relatives think about us. Noone will marry my siblings if they get to know about this that their sister has forcefully left the house to marry the guy of her own choice. Please suggest me something what else i can do to make him understand and should i stop making efforts and do whatever i want to not now but after sometime. Take drastic step and leave the house. I also know what will be the consequences of my actions but can i do if he doesnt want me to see me happy or believing in my decisions. Atleast he should listen and see him personally that what i saw in this person. But he doesnt want. Please guide me.