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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravi Question by Ravi on Feb 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello,Mam Good day to you I have recently gone through your answers to various queries of several people so thought to ask you something which is pinching my heart daily. I married to a girl in April 2019 as an arranged one.I work on board merchant ships & have to stay away from home for several months(6-7) months & also being Manglik as per my horoscope details hence was finding difficult to get someone agreed for the marriage.However at the age of 32 years,I got married in 2019 without considering & giving much thought as I was frustrated with talking to so many families & denied by most of them due to above stated reasons. After marriage,I found her not been capable to take the responsibilities at home and much interested towards house chores or helping my parents at home.Many things were concealed by their parents & were just being hided.She is not able to cook food for the family,not able to read,write Hindi, English properly.My parents gave her enough support & tried to teach her & learn but even after 4 years of marriage she is unable to take her responsibilities at home.She now also shows some unexpected behaviour like laughing unnecessarily & speaking to herself most of the times while working or sitting at any public place, shop etc which makes me very embarassing. After seeing all this,I took her to the Hospital (Medical College in Lucknow) for check up where the doctors told me that she has Scheophrenia ( mental depression) for which medication will continue for a long time which has a deep rooted shock to me. She stayed twice with her parents 6-7 months in a year when I was at work on board merchant ships. Now again she is staying with her parents as we are unsure if anything goes wrong with her then her family will blame us. I want to give her divorce but don't know how to go for it ? At this age of 36 years will I get someone else or not is what coming in my mind ? Both of us are not talking neither our family members with each other. We don't have any child ,my father is handicapped senior citizen,mother also being old & makes difficult to manage at home. Can she ask for any alimony if I proceed for divorce now ? Please reply Thanks.

Ans: Dear Ravi,
Yes, it has been a very challenging time for you indeed; I can only imagine what you must be going through.
But when Empathy calls, you must realize that your wife is going through a very difficult life too. Living with Schizophrenia is hard for her and for her caregivers as well and the symptoms must be managed lifelong.
But what I don't understand is: Why did her family keep this fact away from you?
This could have been a decision point before the marriage was arranged. It is obvious that their job was to get her married at all costs; even if it meant LYING to you.
Anyway, I am not going to get into what she can and can't do as basic life skills as severe mental ailments can decapacitate the person from easy and obvious usual functions that a human being is expected to perform.

If you have decided on separation. kindly seek the advice of a good lawyer who can check every angle that is fair to you and your wife. And take care of your mental health by not focusing on what could have happened but what can now happen. Kindly proceed on these lines.
Best wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2023

Relationship
**JAY*JAGANNATH**, Wishing You For **HAPPY*ANANT-CHATURDASHI**, I'm based in Mumbai, but lives in Puri, Odisha, because of **LORD*JAGANNATHA**, Since, I'm a Business Analyst,, not yet Started my Practice,, i had a arrange marriage in my own caste with rest was OK, after reading some of Your advises and type of case,, i became enthusiast to know YOUR UNPARALELED PRECIOUS OPINION about my personal disturbances in my family.,for which We live Separate with my Only 18+Son, Studying & Preparing for his Entrance Test via Online.., she is in Guwahati,, working under at a Private Retail Management co., ME & MY FAMILY Severally attempted & requested her and her family too, to Come back & Join to my family for living together,, but when failed,, i encourage her OK live there,, as because after failing an attempt of school transfer due to language issue for a subject like Marathi in Upper classes,, Thus, i stopped disturbing her as well as my son's study. During initial level of Separation,, their family (ELDERS) requested me will handover my family (wife & Son),, if i Pay them(wife& Son) their expenses for a Full Year., that was happened when i reached for an attempt to Convince My Wife and their family to adjoin with me & with my family activity, that was Probably in 2010-11 somewhere in between,, i was Hr. Manager in a Cement Co. in Meghalaya. I agreed too & and Provide as per for a Year. But, while passing a year they became Silent.., not hardcovered my family. till as on date,, i am alone..! She & Elder Sister & the brother-in-law Says they won't divorce nor will allow to handover,, i said why..! The Starting of a Quarrel was with a Issue of Changing my Mental Perception,, while they tried to Implement me with Saying a FALSE PLAN,, but, i Caught their Such Attempt,, MY Mrs. later She admitted that, they tried it because of if I get my Changes in me & to take my decision well for my Next career. Since, i born & brought up in Guwahati, i had a Soft corner for North-East always,, which was happened after 15yrs of long Struggle in Mumbai,, i Stand on my own feet with My Own Struggle & a house for my Stability etc. After Marriage of a Assam Lady only it was a Scope again to Reach Assam.. So, i thought, if i can Start Something a great Project with in & around of North-East. But, that became a bad experience for me as on till. I arrived Recently too, to Convince her,, Come & Join me,, Rest all Hurdle i will Handle,, Now, No more My father also expired, a Retired. Rly Officer,, Parents too visited Severally Assam to Convince them but failed,, I always feel i am alone,, what to do with,, I am a family Oriented Person,, love to keep Relation Well with either Side Well. But, not happening. What to Do Now,, But, I LOVER HER & MY SON VERY MUCH,, BY ANY MEANS AS ON.., I HAVE NO PLAN TO LEAVE THEM ALONE & THEIR STRUGGLE TO..! BUT, I STILL, A HELPLESS, WHOM TO GO & CRY FOR THEM..!?! Kindly tell Your PRECIOUS Opinion on this,, I am Ready to Take Your Nobly too, Recently, I took little advise from a Legal Family Court Councillor at Guwahati, & their one of Next Door Reputed Lady Neighbour(Who Co-ordinated & Represent too for the Local area of their & for their Constituency during Elections & their any function of their Locality,, a well known in their Locality for a Good behaviour too),, I meet & Spoke to her Severally,, She herself Visited too & found My Wife Not behaving Normally & Cool,, a Raugh behaved Lady, She found & She Said, a disrespected Lady means not Gentle,, i Personally Visited Mumbai at her elder Sister's home too,, during yr.2015,, while in entrance,, the brother-in-law resisted me NOT to Enter,, from the door only i came back. Not meet even & had NO Talk,, while after little a distance i covered from their residence,, i found they again recalling me to Come & Visit. But, I found myself very off mooded, & not visited till as on & till date,, because. they only Created the False Nuisances' with their Plan,, which not became A Success.. they Caught. But, they were Proposer of Our both Relation. But, I want a Justice with this,, Since, I am a Simple & Honest,, Very Straight forwarded with Cut to throat Person..in my Nature,, Soft & Spiritual. Since, Many Years Now Connected to Krishna Consciousness too,, that is why for love & affection i am here at PURI. Kindly, Let me Know Your Precious Opinion by which I can Come out with my Loneliness. **HARE*KRISHNA** Thanking you, With Regards, Surajit Bhattacharjee, In Case if You have a Plan to Visit Puri, Odisha,, Kindly, Let me Know Your Date & Place to See **MAHABAHU**JAGANNATHA*,, You may Send by Your family & friends too with Prior Advance & info.
Ans: I understand that you are going through a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you care deeply for your wife and son and want to find a resolution to the issues that have led to your separation. However, I am not a legal expert, and my responses are not a substitute for legal advice. It's essential to consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in your jurisdiction for guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

Here are some general steps you might consider taking:

Consult with a Family Law Attorney: Seek the advice of a qualified family law attorney in your area who can help you navigate the legal aspects of your situation. They can provide guidance on divorce, custody, and any other legal matters that may arise.
Mediation: Mediation is often a more amicable and less adversarial way to resolve conflicts related to divorce and separation. A trained mediator can help facilitate discussions between you and your wife to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Child Custody and Support: Given your son's involvement, it's crucial to ensure that his best interests are protected. Discuss child custody, visitation, and child support arrangements with your attorney and potentially through mediation.
Therapeutic Intervention: If communication and emotional issues are at the core of your problems, consider involving a family therapist or counselor. They can help facilitate productive discussions and address underlying emotional concerns.
Keep Records: Document any interactions or communication you have with your wife or her family. This can be useful in legal proceedings and may help support your case.
Stay Connected with Your Son: Continue to provide emotional support and be involved in your son's life as much as possible, even if you are physically separated.
Explore Community Resources: Look for local support groups or community resources that can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time.
Remember that every situation is unique, and the best course of action may vary depending on the specific details of your case. Seeking professional legal and therapeutic guidance is crucial in navigating complex family issues. Additionally, it's important to remain patient and persistent in your efforts to find a resolution while prioritizing the well-being of your son throughout the process.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am working in a central psu and my wife works for state govt and both are 48 yrs. We are married for 20 yrs and have 2 sons (20 &16). She is never expressive nor vocal, because of this our marital relationship have not seen even a single day of happiness. Her parents never ever made her realised that problem can be from her side too nor asked me even a single time whats is bothering me. She is over ambitious in her job and neglects everything in the personal life. This negligence started from the day 1 of the married life. She never try to understand the problem and reasons behind and just ignore and move ahead. This makes life miserable and likewise 20 yrs passed.. Its like when sons are moving out of home, I feel very much alone and sometimes feels to runaway from life...She dont show any emotions, giving the reasons that its her nature...She says loves me, but whats that love which is not felt by me for a single day...I wanted a wife not a nurse.. What to do....I lost my hope of life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure there is an issue that you are facing BUT to generalize it as: because of this our marital relationship have not seen even a single day of happiness.
Are you sure that has not been a single day or a single moment of feeling some joy? DO NOT indulge in this kind of belief as it only makes the issue look bigger than what it maybe.
If you feel alone, talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel. It's your marriage as well; do something to stay in it.
If there is a reason for her to be the way that she is, that needs to be addressed. Also, by complaining rather than facing the issue together, you are alienating yourself from the marriage. Give this a fair chance and deal with it in a mature way. Talking about it helps more than complaining; as she will bring her list of complaints and then it just gets into a loop.
- have an honest conversation
- make space for a back and forth conversation
If she refuses to talk, then possibly there is a need for a professional to intervene. She will also need to understand what hurts you and work on it, so that the marriage moves on smoothly. Marriage is a two-way dance.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5732 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

Career
Sir, My daughter scored 93 percent marks in CBSE board 2025. She is a resident of Ghaziabad. Is it good to do class 12 from Delhi or from the same school. She wants to opt PCM in class 12 and wants to do b tech
Ans: With 93% in CBSE Class 10 and aspirations for PCM/B.Tech, your daughter’s decision hinges on balancing academic rigor, entrance exam preparedness, and environmental stability. Ghaziabad’s top CBSE schools (e.g., DPS Indirapuram, Amity Ghaziabad) offer robust PCM curricula aligned with NCERT, with 85–90% board pass rates and integrated support for engineering entrance preparation. These schools provide continuity, reducing relocation stress, and maintain strong track records in engineering entrances (e.g., DPS Indirapuram’s 95%+ qualification rate in major engineering exams). Conversely, Delhi schools (e.g., DPS RK Puram, Vasant Valley) boast 95.18% CBSE pass rates (2025) and superior exposure to national-level competitions, but entail intense peer pressure and higher costs. While Delhi has many structured exam preparation hubs, Ghaziabad’s branches deliver comparable quality without displacement. Recommendation: Prioritize Ghaziabad CBSE schools with proven support systems (e.g., Amity’s industry partnerships, DPS Indirapuram’s 300+ annual tech placements) to maintain academic consistency and mental well-being. If opting for Delhi, target Sanskriti School or Bal Bharati for balanced rigor and holistic development. For backups, enroll in online preparation platforms or hybrid models combining local schooling with weekend Delhi workshops, ensuring cost-effective, stress-optimized preparation. All the BEST for your Daughter's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURURS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8781 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

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Money
Good evening. Me and my wife ate both 42 years old. Both are working professionals. We have combined income around 4 to 4.5 lakhs per month. Average total monthly expenses for family around 85k(total 5 members). Investment- Shares- 1.45 Cr(present value) MF- 82 lakhs(present value) Monthly Sip- 22 k running(small cap,multicap,flexicap) Health insurance- 25 lakh floater woth 1 Cr super top up. Term plan- 2 crore for each Apartment cost - 90 lakhs(loan closed) Own home price- around 65 lakhs 10 years old daughter i have. Planning for future studies after 6 years- around 60 lakhs(inflation not calculated). Would like to retire at 58 to 60 years of age. Considering moderate lifestyles, how should I plan further? Thanks
Ans: You have five family members. Your spending pattern is moderate.



You own equity shares worth Rs. 1.45 crore.



Mutual fund investments are worth Rs. 82 lakhs.



Running SIPs of Rs. 22,000 in small cap, multicap, and flexicap funds.



You have a home costing Rs. 90 lakhs. Loan is fully paid.



You also own another house worth Rs. 65 lakhs.



Health insurance of Rs. 25 lakhs floater + Rs. 1 crore super top-up.



Term insurance of Rs. 2 crore each for you and your wife.



Daughter is 10 years old. Need Rs. 60 lakhs after 6 years for education.



Planning to retire between age 58 and 60.



Appreciation and Positives

You have created strong asset base at an early stage.



Your insurance coverage is very good.



Loan-free status and regular SIP show great discipline.



Moderate expenses reflect financial maturity.



Suggestions for Daughter's Education

Education goal is within 6 years.



Equity shares and small cap MFs are high-risk for short-term goals.



Please move required Rs. 60 lakhs in staggered manner.



Shift to low-volatility hybrid or short-duration debt mutual funds.



Start switching now and complete it within next 3 years.



This will reduce volatility risk and protect capital.



Retirement Planning Evaluation

Retirement in 16 to 18 years is a medium to long-term goal.



Your existing corpus of Rs. 2.27 crore (Shares + MF) is strong.



SIP of Rs. 22,000 may not be enough for your target retirement.



Retirement corpus needed could be Rs. 6 crore to Rs. 7 crore approx.



You may need to increase SIP gradually to Rs. 50,000 or more.



Focus more on multicap and flexicap funds.



Avoid small cap for retirement corpus due to volatility.



Use active funds with good long-term track record.



Avoid index funds due to lack of downside protection.



Direct vs Regular MF Investing

Investing directly is not suitable for goal-based planning.



Direct plans lack handholding and review.



Regular plans through MFD + Certified Financial Planner offer continuous tracking.



Helps optimise portfolio and rebalance when needed.



Real Estate

No new investment is needed in real estate.



Real estate is illiquid and gives poor inflation-adjusted returns.



Holding two homes is enough.



Life Insurance

Term cover of Rs. 2 crore each is good.



Please review sum assured every 3 years.



Increase cover if income increases substantially.



Health Insurance

Rs. 25 lakh floater and Rs. 1 crore top-up are excellent.



You have good protection against medical expenses.



Estate Planning

Please write a Will for both of you.



Nominate each other and your daughter in investments.



Create a basic estate plan for smooth transition of assets.



Tax Planning

Track capital gains from equity MFs.



LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.



STCG taxed at 20%.



Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab.



What Needs Focus Now

Prioritise daughter’s education goal. Begin reallocation today.



Review and increase retirement SIP amount steadily.



Avoid direct and index funds.



Continue regular review of term cover, health cover.



Do not invest in annuities or real estate now.



Rebalance equity portfolio. Prefer diversified and actively managed MFs.



Finally

You are financially stable and secure.



You need few tactical shifts to optimise your plan.



Focus on structured goal-based investing.



Follow 360-degree approach for financial well-being.



Engage with a Certified Financial Planner regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8781 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2025
Money
I am 52 years old. My wife, son and my father are dependent on me. My monthly income is 3.5L and my investment/savings are 10% of my income. I am living in my own home on which there is no liability. I have taken a loan of 75L for a second home for which the EMI will be around Rs.80,000/-. I have a portfolio of 50L in equities, 5L in MFs, 10L in FDs, 7L in PPF and 20L in physical gold. My father's home (worth 80L) is in my name, though I don't intend to sell it now. My biggest expenses are higher education for my son abroad and his marriage. I will want to work till atleast 65 years of age. How much will I need for my retirement and what should be my investment strategy. Please advise.
Ans: You are 52 now. You want to work till 65.

You have 13 more earning years. You are thinking about retirement planning. That is timely.

You also have dependent family members. You also have big goals like son’s education and marriage.

Now let’s build a 360-degree view and give a clear action plan.

Understanding Your Current Financial Profile
Your monthly income is Rs. 3.5 lakhs. That is a strong income.

Your current savings rate is only 10%. That is Rs. 35,000 per month.

You are living in your own house. There is no loan on it. That is a strength.

You have taken a loan of Rs. 75 lakhs for a second house. EMI is Rs. 80,000.

You already have assets in many categories. Let’s list them below.

Your Asset Distribution Today:

Equity portfolio: Rs. 50 lakhs

Mutual Funds: Rs. 5 lakhs

Fixed Deposits: Rs. 10 lakhs

PPF: Rs. 7 lakhs

Physical Gold: Rs. 20 lakhs

Father’s home (in your name): Rs. 80 lakhs (Not for sale now)

Immediate Observations on Current Strategy
Your debt EMI is around 23% of your monthly income. That is on the higher side.

Your overall investments are diversified, but need better allocation.

Your gold holding is 20% of your investment value. That is too high.

You have very low exposure to mutual funds. That needs to be increased.

Your equity value is high. But need to check the quality and risks.

You are saving only 10% of income. That needs to be doubled.

Your Key Goals Identified
Retirement at age 65. You have 13 years to plan.

Son’s higher education abroad. It is a near-term high-cost goal.

Son’s marriage. This will also need large funds.

Managing your father’s needs. It needs regular cash flow.

Regular income for wife in your absence. This must be secured too.

Retirement Fund Planning
Let’s first plan for retirement. That is your most important long-term need.

You are 52 now. You want to retire at 65. So, 13 years of saving time.

After 65, you may live for 25 more years. So plan for at least 25 years.

You may need Rs. 80,000 per month (in today’s value) during retirement.

Due to inflation, this will grow. You may need over Rs. 2 lakhs monthly at retirement.

So, you must create a retirement corpus of at least Rs. 4.5 to 5 crores.

This includes both lifestyle expenses and healthcare.

This corpus must be built step by step from now.

Strategy for Retirement Corpus
Start saving 25% of your income every month for retirement. That is Rs. 87,500.

Increase your mutual fund allocation for long-term goals.

Use actively managed funds. Do not use index funds.

Index funds lack fund manager skill. They just copy the market.

In market downturns, index funds may fall harder.

Actively managed funds help manage risk better.

Also, do not invest in direct mutual funds.

Direct plans may save cost but offer no personal advice.

Instead, invest via MFDs who are guided by Certified Financial Planners.

You get personalised planning and continuous review.

Review asset allocation every year with help of your planner.

Education Planning for Son
This goal is coming soon. You will need a big amount.

Find out the total cost of his course. Include tuition, living, travel.

Start a dedicated SIP for this goal.

Use low-duration funds if the goal is less than 3 years away.

If you need funds within 2 years, avoid equity.

For 3-5 years horizon, use balanced allocation funds.

Don’t use FDs for long horizon goals. FD returns are not inflation-beating.

Also avoid gold for education goals. Gold is not predictable.

Use mutual funds with steady performance.

Rebalance quarterly if possible. This reduces risk.

Marriage Planning for Son
Set a budget for the wedding.

You still have time for this goal.

Use long-term mutual fund SIPs to build the marriage fund.

Choose good performing diversified funds.

Don’t stop SIPs midway.

Review once a year to check target progress.

Avoid investing in real estate for this goal.

Real estate has low liquidity and high entry cost.

Your EMI and Real Estate Strategy
EMI of Rs. 80,000 per month is fixed now.

That is around 23% of your monthly income.

Try to prepay this home loan faster.

Make annual part-payments if possible.

Reduce the interest outgo and loan term.

Don’t buy another property now.

Real estate has high cost and low flexibility.

Also, selling a property takes time and effort.

Instead of more properties, focus on mutual funds.

Mutual funds offer better liquidity and professional management.

Also, no maintenance cost like in property.

Optimising Your Investment Portfolio
Let’s optimise your current investments. Below are ideas:

Equities (Rs. 50 lakhs):

Review portfolio quality and sector allocation.

Exit high-risk or non-performing stocks.

Diversify better across sectors and themes.

Avoid too much exposure to small-cap or penny stocks.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for portfolio review.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 5 lakhs):

This is very low compared to equity. Increase it step by step.

Add SIPs in actively managed funds.

Avoid NFOs and trendy sectoral funds.

FDs (Rs. 10 lakhs):

These give low returns after tax.

Keep only for emergency fund or 1-year goals.

Rest should be reallocated to better products.

PPF (Rs. 7 lakhs):

Continue yearly contributions till retirement.

This gives tax-free and safe returns.

Max out yearly limit for compounding benefits.

Gold (Rs. 20 lakhs):

This is 20% of your portfolio. That is too high.

Reduce it to 10% slowly.

Avoid physical gold. Instead shift to Sovereign Gold Bonds.

Physical gold has storage, wastage, and purity issues.

Family Protection Strategy
Life Insurance:

You must have a term plan of 15 to 20 times annual income.

This covers your family’s future if something happens to you.

Don’t buy investment-linked policies.

If you hold LIC or ULIP or endowment plans, surrender them.

Reinvest that amount in mutual funds.

Health Insurance:

Ensure separate cover for all family members.

Include your father and son too.

Corporate cover is not enough. Take individual policy.

Also add critical illness cover.

Estate Planning and Father’s Home
Your father’s home is in your name.

You don’t plan to sell now. That is fine.

Keep all documents clear and updated.

Make a registered Will. Mention distribution wishes clearly.

Nominate your wife and son in all financial instruments.

This avoids legal issues later.

Action Plan Summary
Increase your monthly saving to 25% of income

Use mutual fund SIPs to build retirement, education, marriage goals

Avoid index funds and direct plans. Use active funds via MFDs with CFP help

Reduce exposure to real estate and gold

Review equity portfolio with professional help

Prepay second home loan gradually

Secure family with term insurance and health cover

Rebalance portfolio yearly

Create Will and update nominations

Finally
You have strong income and some assets. That is a good start.

But current savings and portfolio allocation need changes.

Real estate and gold are high. Mutual fund exposure is low.

You need to shift slowly from fixed assets to liquid investments.

You also need goal-based planning. Separate funds for each goal.

Your retirement corpus target is Rs. 4.5 to 5 crores.

With 13 working years left, it is possible with discipline.

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner to build and monitor your plan.

Stay invested regularly. Review yearly. Protect your family always.

This approach will bring financial peace and clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Vivek

Vivek Lala  |317 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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