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Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2023Hindi
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Dear Anu, I am married for 24 years having two grown up children. Both are studying. My wife is not working. She had been adamant and spendthrift since the beginning of our marriage. Just to maintain peace I was putting up with her undue demands. Than in last decade my business suffered for quite sometime still I sold some property and managed the household expenses. Than in 2017 the business started picking up and it started doing well. but having learned the lesson I became very firm with wasteful expenses. And by end of 2017 she broke all ties with me, and started sleeping with our daughter in her room. Now since last six years we are hardly talking to each other despite living in the same house . Her parents are also hand in glove with her and disconnected with me. I also came to know lot of factors about her family. Her father claimed to be a businessman before marriage and later I learned he was working in subcontracts division of a company and making money by illegal means from vendors. He was a heavy drinker and had relations with many women. I also came to know that her father had thrown his father out of house and that old man had died in a temple. To make matter worse her parents are having one more daughter which they claim to be given to some family member and now they don't have any relationship with that girl or the couple to whom they have given their daughter to. So prima facie they have a child or children which they have hidden from society. We attended marriages of her uncle's daughters out of Mumbai. His uncle and his family attended my marriage and marriage of my wife's only brother. Now after all marriages are over they have broken up with that uncle too. He is real brother of my father in law. Her aunty expired two years back I offered to call her uncle and offer condolences she said no need now relationship with uncle is over. With all these I am able to come to a conclusion that the family doesn't value relationships and once their purpose is served they discontinue the relationship. Due to constant problems my children have also become very adamant and are not concentrating on studies. Kindly suggest what should I do in the given situation. Can the marriage be annulled on the grounds her family concealed vital information before marriage. I offered her to go for marriage counselling and therapy but she refused. Please suggest some suitable solution.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Too much of a mess, yeah?
Why they hid certain facts and what impact that has had on your marriage is something that you are experiencing. Relationships are built on trust and honesty leads to that trust. You possibly feel being misled multiple times over and it will indeed affect the mind state of your children.
Good that you have woken up to this NOW.
Are you sure that you want to end this marriage? Or is there a possibility of saving it?
If you want to end it through a legal recourse, find an able lawyer who specializes in divorce cases. She/he will advise you on annulment or mutual consent divorce or filing for one. These options come to a better choice when you seek an expert in legal matters.
In the meantime, keep your mind in a place where it is calm. Too much of muddle and constant over processing will make you have bitter thoughts and keep you engaged in stress building situations.
Accept what's happening (difficult, I know)...but doing this will enable you to take the right decision not only for your life but also for your children. Also, I suggest spend a lot of time with the children and teach them not to take sides of any parent.
Whatever you decide is going to impact them and they must be prepared anyway. So, talk to them like they are grown ups and let them grow into it supporting you both rather than be caught in the cross fire.
I am sure if you have had the courage to understand what has been happening to you, you can surely take additional steps to safeguard your mind space and do what's right for the children as well.
All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but within 3 months she had medical issues and went to her home for treatment. after informing all her activities now her father is threating me and my family, also making false allegations against me for all her problems. Now he is demanding to go separately from my parents to send her back. if not they will file case against me in the court and make me and my family suffer. Now she was not telling the truth with their parents about her mindset and acting according to their portents guidance that i am the reason for her medical issues and she was not interested in the marriage because i didn't take care of her well. she have depression and anxiety issues from childhood her mother refused to see her face when she was born, as 5th girl child as they expect atleast 1 boy kid she said this to a doctor. she faces refusal and ignorance in her family she said this too the doctor i dont know the truth behind it. she has chronic gastritis also she is under weight (35kgs still at 27years old) and cant increase weight even after trying for 5 years of medication. Doctor suggested for a therapy but she refused to come with because she already had therapy before which we don't know. . even though we lived in same house but she lived in separate room all the days she was with me. Now due to her inability to handle her father she is acting along with them like i was the one who refusing her. Her father even knows about all these matters to hide is fraud he is now threatening me like police case and court. I did nothing wrong in this except married her. what should i do now ?. And I lost hope that she would change here after.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are many cases like yours where men are being trapped with false allegations.
First evaluate:
Do I want this marriage to continue?
If YES, I feel it's time your parents also step in to state your side of the story. It will be an uphill task to bring her back as she clearly had mentioned to you that she was forced into this marriage. Also, how do you plan on working out the home situation given that the condition is that you separate from your parents?

If NO, will you be able to prove all the allegations put on you are false? Hire a good lawyer, because you will surely need one. Tread carefully and make very calculated moves in terms of what you say (even if it's on a text message) as everything can be held against you. Your lawyer will advise you on this.

So, time to think what is the best option...lay all the cards on the table and play this very carefully...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 47 years old. I have started investing in mutual fund (SIP) only since last one year due to some financial obligations. Currently I am investing Rs.33K per month in various SIPS. The details are: Kotak Mahindra Market Growth (Rs. 1500), Aditya BSL Low Duration Growth (Rs. 1400), HDFC Mid-cap Growth (Rs. 12000), Nippon India Large Cap Growth (Rs. 3000), Bandhan small cap (Rs. 5000), Motilal Oswal Flexicap Growth (Rs. 5000), ICICI Pru Flexicap growth (Rs. 5000). I have also started to invest Rs. 1,50,000 per year in PPF since last year. Can I sustain if I retire by the age of 62?
Ans: I can help you with your retirement planning.
You have given a very detailed picture of your investments.
You have also shown strong intent to build wealth at 47.
This itself is a big positive start.

Your Current Efforts

– You started late due to obligations.
– That is understandable.
– You still took charge.
– You now invest Rs.33K every month.
– You also invest Rs.1,50,000 a year in PPF.
– You follow discipline.
– You follow consistency.
– These habits matter the most.
– These habits will help your retirement.
– You deserve appreciation for this foundation.

» Your Current Investment Mix

– You invest in various equity funds.
– You also invest in one low duration debt fund.
– You invest across mid cap, large cap, flexi cap, and small cap.
– This gives you some spread.
– You also invest in PPF.
– PPF gives safety.
– PPF gives steady growth.
– This mix creates balance.

– Please note one point.
– You hold direct plans.
– Direct plans look cheaper outside.
– But they are not always helpful for long-term investors.
– Many investors pick wrong funds.
– Many investors track markets wrongly.
– Many investors redeem at wrong times.
– This affects returns more than the saved expense ratio.
– Regular plans through a MFD with CFP support give guidance.
– Regular plans also help you stay on track.
– Behaviour gap is a major cost in direct funds.
– Thus regular plans with CFP support work better for long-term investors.
– They can correct mistakes.
– They can help with asset mix.
– They can help you stay steady during market drops.
– This gives higher final wealth than direct funds in most cases.

» Your Retirement Age Goal

– You plan to retire at 62.
– You are 47 now.
– You have 15 years left.
– Fifteen years is still a strong time line.
– You can allow compounding to work well.
– Your corpus can grow meaningfully by 62.
– You can also improve your savings rate during this time.

» Assessing If Your Current Plan Supports Retirement

– There are many parts to assess.
– You need to look at your saving rate.
– You need to look at your growth rate.
– You need to look at your future lifestyle cost.
– You need to look at inflation.
– You need to look at post-retirement income need.
– You need to see if your present plan matches this.

– Right now, your total yearly investment is:
– Rs.33K per month in SIP.
– That is Rs.3,96,000 per year.
– Plus Rs.1,50,000 in PPF each year.
– So your total yearly investment is Rs.5,46,000.
– This is a good number.
– This can help your retirement journey.

» Understanding Equity Funds in Your Mix

– You invest in mid cap.
– Mid cap can give good growth.
– Mid cap also carries higher swings.
– You invest in small cap.
– Small cap is the most volatile.
– It can give high returns if held for long.
– But it needs patience.
– You invest in large cap exposure.
– Large cap gives stability.
– You invest in flexi cap.
– Flexi cap funds adjust strategy.
– Flexi cap funds give managers more control.
– Active management is useful in Indian markets.
– Fund managers can shift between market caps.
– They can pick good sectors.
– This improves return potential.
– This is a benefit that index funds do not have.
– Index funds just copy the index.
– Index funds do not avoid weak companies.
– Index funds cannot take smart calls.
– Index funds also rise in cost whenever the index churns.
– Active funds can protect downside.
– Active funds can find better opportunities.
– This is helpful for long-term wealth building.
– So your move towards active funds is fine.

» Understanding PPF in Your Mix

– Your PPF adds stability.
– It gives assured growth.
– It also gives tax benefits.
– It builds a stable part of your retirement base.
– It reduces overall risk in your portfolio.
– It works well over long years.
– You have also chosen a steady long-term asset.
– This is beneficial for retirement.

» Gaps That Need Attention

– Your funds are scattered.
– You hold too many schemes.
– Each additional scheme overlaps with others.
– This reduces impact.
– It also becomes hard to track.
– You can reduce your scheme count.
– A more focused mix can give smoother progress.
– Rebalancing becomes easier.
– You can keep fewer funds but maintain asset spread.
– You can also map each fund to a purpose.

– You also need clarity about your retirement income need.
– Many investors skip this.
– You must know how much money you need per month at 62.
– You must add inflation.
– You must add health needs.
– You must also add lifestyle goals.

» Your Future Lifestyle Cost

– Your cost will rise with inflation.
– Inflation affects food, transport, medical needs.
– Medical inflation is higher than normal inflation.
– Retirement planning must consider this.
– You also need to consider family responsibilities.
– You must consider emergencies.
– You must also consider rising cost of daily life.
– This helps estimate the required retirement corpus.

» Your Future Corpus From Current Savings

– Without giving strict numbers, you can expect growth.
– You invest steadily.
– You invest for 15 years.
– Your equity portion can grow better over long time.
– Your PPF gives predictable growth.
– Your mix can create a decent retirement base.
– But you will need to increase your SIP over time.
– You can raise your SIP by 5% to 10% each year.
– Even small increases help.
– This builds a stronger corpus.
– Your final retirement amount becomes much higher.

» Need for Periodic Review

– Markets change.
– Life situations change.
– Your goals may shift.
– Your income may rise.
– Your responsibilities may change.
– Review every year.
– Adjust as needed.
– A Certified Financial Planner can help.
– This gives clarity.
– This gives structure.
– This gives confidence.
– You can reduce mistakes.
– You can follow proper asset allocation.

» Asset Allocation Approach for Smooth Growth

– You must decide your ideal equity percentage.
– You must decide your ideal debt percentage.
– If you take too much equity, risk increases.
– If you take too little equity, growth reduces.
– You must keep balance.
– It must match your risk comfort.
– It must support your retirement goal.
– Right allocation brings discipline.
– Rebalancing once a year helps.
– Rebalancing controls emotion.
– Rebalancing increases long-term returns.
– Rebalancing keeps your portfolio healthy.

» Importance of Staying Invested During Market Swings

– Markets move up and down.
– Swings are normal.
– Equity grows over long time.
– Equity needs patience.
– People often fear drops.
– They exit at wrong time.
– This hurts long-term wealth.
– You must stay steady.
– You must trust your long-term plan.
– You must follow guidance.
– This improves retirement success.

» Avoiding Common Mistakes

– Many investors pick funds based on recent returns.
– This is risky.
– Fund selection needs deeper view.
– Fund must match your risk.
– Fund must match your time horizon.
– Fund must have consistent process.
– Fund must show reliable pattern.
– Avoid sudden changes.
– Avoid chasing trends.
– Stay with a disciplined plan.
– This ensures better results.

– You must avoid mixing too many categories.
– Focused mix works better.
– Smaller set makes control easy.
– This reduces confusion.

– Do not rely on direct funds for long-term goals.
– Direct funds lack guided support.
– Behavioral mistakes cost more than the lower expense ratio.
– Regular plans help you stay invested.
– They help avoid panic.
– They help during reviews.
– They help create proper asset allocation.
– They help you use the fund in the right way.
– Investment discipline is more important than low cost.
– Regular plans with CFP support deliver this discipline.

» Inflation Protection Through Growth Assets

– Equity protects from inflation.
– PPF adds safety.
– Balanced mix protects your purchasing power.
– Retirement needs this balance.
– Long-term equity portion helps create a healthy corpus.
– This allows you to meet rising living cost.

» How to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan From Now

– Increase SIP every year.
– Even slight hikes help.
– Be consistent.
– Avoid stopping during market drops.
– Do a yearly check-up.
– Reduce scheme count.
– Keep a clear structure.
– Assign each fund a purpose.
– Build an emergency fund.
– This will protect your SIP flow.
– Continue PPF.
– It gives stability.
– It protects your long-term needs.

» Possibility of Sustaining Life After Retirement

– Yes, you can sustain.
– But it depends on three things:
– Your future living cost.
– Your total corpus at retirement.
– Your discipline during retirement.

– If you continue your present saving, your base will grow.
– If you raise your SIP each year, your base will grow faster.
– If you keep a proper asset mix, your base will grow safely.
– If you avoid emotional mistakes, your base will stay strong.
– If you review yearly, your plan will stay on track.

– So sustaining life after retirement is possible.
– You just need stronger structure.
– You also need steady guidance.
– This ensures confidence.

» Retirement Income Planning After Age 62

– Your retirement income must come from a mix.
– Part from equity.
– Part from debt.
– Part from stable instruments.
– Do not depend on one source.
– Plan your withdrawal pattern.
– Take small and stable withdrawals.
– Keep some equity even after retirement.
– This helps your corpus last longer.
– Do not shift everything to debt at retirement.
– That reduces growth too much.
– Balanced approach keeps your money alive.
– This supports your life for long years.

» Health and Emergency Preparedness

– Health costs rise fast.
– You must plan for it.
– Keep health insurance active.
– Keep top-up if needed.
– Keep separate emergency money.
– Do not depend on your investments during emergencies.
– Emergency fund protects your retirement portfolio.
– This keeps compounding intact.
– You can handle shocks with ease.

» Tax Awareness

– Be aware of mutual fund tax rules.
– Equity long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh per year are taxed at 12.5%.
– Equity short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt funds are taxed as per your slab.
– Plan redemptions wisely.
– Do not redeem often.
– Keep long-term horizon.
– This reduces tax impact.
– This helps wealth building.

» Summary of Your Retirement Possibility

– You have a good start.
– You have a workable time frame.
– You have a steady contribution.
– You must refine your portfolio.
– You must increase SIP yearly.
– You must reduce scheme count.
– You must follow asset allocation.
– You must stay disciplined.
– You must get yearly review from a CFP.
– If you follow these, you can reach a healthy retirement base.

» Final Insights

– You are on the right path.
– You have taken the key step by starting.
– You can still create a strong retirement corpus even at 47.
– Fifteen years is enough if you stay consistent.
– Your mix of equity and PPF is good.
– With discipline and structure, your future can stay secure.
– With yearly guidance, you can avoid mistakes.
– With increased SIP, you can boost your corpus.
– You can aim for a peaceful and confident retirement at 62.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10878 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2025

Money
I am 43 yrs old, have sip in Nifty 50 - 3500 Nifty next 50 - 3000 Nippon large cap - 3500 Hdfc midcap - 2500 Parag Flexicap - 3000 Tata small cap - 1300 Gold sip - 500 Hdfc debt fund - 700, lumsum of 10000 in motilal midcap and 20k in quant small cap. accumulated around 2.30 lakhs, started from June, 2024. But overall xirr is very less 3.11. Should I continue the above sips or which sips should be stopped?
Ans: You have started early in 2024, and you already built Rs 2.30 lakhs. This shows discipline. This shows patience. This gives you a good base for your future wealth.

Your XIRR looks low now. This is normal. You started only a few months back. SIPs show low return in the start. Markets move up and down. Early numbers look flat. They look small. They look discouraging. But they improve with time. They improve with longer SIP flow. So please stay calm. The start is always slow. The finish is always strong.

Your effort is strong. Your SIP list is wide. Your savings habit is good. You started at 43 years, but you still have good time to grow your wealth. Every disciplined month builds confidence. Your choices show that you want growth. You want stability. You want balance. This is a good sign.

» Current Portfolio Snapshot
You invest in many groups.

– You invest in Nifty 50.
– You invest in Nifty Next 50.
– You invest in a large cap fund.
– You invest in a midcap fund.
– You invest in a flexicap fund.
– You invest in a small cap fund.
– You invest in gold.
– You invest in a debt fund.
– You put lumpsum in a midcap and small cap fund.

This looks wide. But wide does not mean effective. You hold too many funds in similar areas. That gives duplication. That reduces clarity. That reduces control. You need sharper structure. You need cleaner lines.

» Why Your XIRR Is Low
Your XIRR is only 3.11%. This is normal. Here is why.

– SIP started in June 2024. Very new.
– SIP amount spread across many funds.
– Market volatility in 2024 made early returns look low.
– SIP returns always look weak in early days. They grow with time.

Low short-term return is not a sign of failure. It is not a sign to stop. It is only a sign of market timing. SIP is for long periods. Not for few months.

» Problem of Index Funds in Your Portfolio
You invest in Nifty 50 and Nifty Next 50. Both are index funds. Index funds follow a fixed rule. They copy the index. They do not use research. They do not use fund manager skill. They do not adjust during bad markets. They do not protect much in down cycles. They lock you into index ups and downs.

In India, active fund managers add value. They find better stocks. They exit weak stocks faster. They manage risk better. They use research teams. They use market cycles well. They often beat index returns over long periods.

Index funds look simple. But they lack decision power. They lack flexibility. They lack protection. They give average results. They track the market exactly. They cannot outperform it.

So index funds are not the best choice for your long-term goal. Active funds give more control and more upside over long years.

» Problem of Too Many Funds
You hold too many funds across the same categories. This creates overlap. Two different schemes may hold same stocks. You think you diversify. But you repeat exposure. This weakens your plan.

Too many funds also keep your attention scattered. It reduces discipline. You waste time comparing each fund. You feel lost. You feel uncertain.

Better to keep fewer funds but stronger funds.

» Problem of Direct Funds
If any of your funds are in direct plans, please take note. Direct plans look cheaper because they have lower expense ratio. But they do not give guidance. They do not give personalised strategy. They do not give support during market falls. They do not give behavioural guidance.

Many investors make wrong moves in market dips. They stop SIPs. They redeem at the wrong time. They switch funds too often. They chase returns. This reduces wealth.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner keep you disciplined. They give structure. They give long-term guidance. They reduce errors. They reduce behaviour risk. This helps more than small cost savings.

Regular plans also offer better hand-holding for asset mix, review and goal clarity. This adds real value.

» Fund-by-Fund Assessment
Let me now look at each SIP.

Nifty 50 – This is an index fund. It is passive. It is rigid. Active large-cap funds do better in many years. You may stop this over time.

Nifty Next 50 – Another index fund. Very volatile. Very narrow. You may stop this too.

Nippon large cap – This is active. This is fine. It can stay.

HDFC midcap – This is active. Good long-term category. You can keep this.

Parag flexicap – Flexicap is versatile. Useful for long-term. You can keep this.

Tata small cap – Small caps can grow well. But they need patience. They also need limited allocation. You can keep, but maintain control.

Gold SIP – Small gold SIP is okay for safety.

HDFC debt fund – Debt brings stability. Small SIP is fine.

Lumpsum in midcap and small cap – Keep these invested. They will grow with cycles.

The two index funds are the most unnecessary parts of your plan. These can be stopped. These can be replaced with good active funds already in your system.

» Suggested Structure
You need a cleaner layout.

Keep one large cap active fund.

Keep one midcap active fund.

Keep one flexicap fund.

Keep one small cap fund.

Keep one debt fund.

Keep a small gold part.

This is enough. This gives balance. It gives clarity. It gives growth. It avoids overlap. It avoids confusion.

» SIP Continuation Guidance
Here is the simple view.

Continue your large cap SIP.

Continue your midcap SIP.

Continue your flexicap SIP.

Continue your small cap SIP.

Continue gold SIP.

Continue debt SIP in small proportion.

Stop the Nifty 50 SIP.

Stop the Nifty Next 50 SIP.

Move those two SIP amounts into your existing active funds. This gives you better long-term power.

» Behaviour and Patience
Your returns will not show big numbers for now. You need time. You need patience. You need consistency. SIP is not a race. SIP is a habit. SIP grows slowly. Then it grows big.

Do not judge your plan by the first few months. Judge it after many years. That is where SIP wins. That is where compounding works. That is where discipline shines.

» What Matters More Than Fund Names
The biggest cornerstones are:

Your discipline.

Your patience.

Your time in market.

Your stable SIP flow.

Your emotional stability.

These matter more than any fund selection. You are building them well.

» Asset Mix Guidance
Your mix of equity, debt and gold is good. But you should review this once a year. As you move closer to retirement, increase debt slowly. Reduce small cap slowly. This protects you. This stabilises your progress.

A Certified Financial Planner can help align your asset mix to your goals. This adds real value. This gives stronger structure.

» Taxation View
If you redeem equity funds in future, then keep the current rule in mind. Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakhs per year are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, both gains are taxed as per your income slab.

This will matter only when you redeem. For now, your focus should be growth, not selling.

» Your Long-Term Wealth Path
You have good earnings years ahead. You have strong potential for growth. Your SIP habit is strong. You only need to clean your portfolio. You only need better structure. Then your money will grow well.

You can grow a meaningful corpus if you stay steady. You can even increase SIP when income grows. This gives faster results.

» Emotional Balance
Do not check returns every week. Do not check every month. Check once in six months. Check once in twelve months. SIP is a long game. Treat it like a long game.

Your small XIRR today does not decide your future. Your discipline decides it. You already have it.

» Step-by-Step Action Plan

Step 1: Stop Nifty 50 SIP.

Step 2: Stop Nifty Next 50 SIP.

Step 3: Keep all the remaining SIPs.

Step 4: Shift the stopped SIP amount into your existing large cap and flexicap funds.

Step 5: Continue gold and debt in small amounts.

Step 6: Review once a year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Step 7: Increase SIP amount slowly when income grows.

Step 8: Stay invested for long term.

Step 9: Do not judge returns too early.

Step 10: Keep your patience strong.

» Finally
Your foundation is strong. Your habit is disciplined. Your mix only needs refinement. Your returns will grow with time. Your portfolio will gain strength with consistency. Your path is steady. Your plan will reward you if you follow it with calm and clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |180 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi. I have been in a long distance relationship since 6 months,and i have known my boyfriend since 10 months. He is very understanding, caring,and honest person. He had already told everything about us for his parents and their parents agreed. We both are financially independent. I told my relationship to my parents and they are against it as my boyfriend is from lower caste, different region, not done his degree from a reputed college but a local engineering college, and his status. They are thinking about relatives, and society what will they say, about their pride, status, and all the respect they have earned uptill now will vanish because of my decision. My parents are very protective of me and have given me everything and like me a lot.They are saying its long distance you might have met only 15 times you don't see this person daily to judge his character. If you have known this person for atleast 2/3 years, with u meeting him daily it would be different. But the person i met is honest from the start. They are hurting daily because of my decision. I cant go against them and be happy.
Ans: 1. It is wonderful you have met someone special and in last 10 months you have met him 15 times which averages to meeting him 1.5 times a month. Is it possible to increase this and meet over every second weekend. Can you both travel once.

2. Parents are parents they worry and all parents are protective of their children as are yours. But if they are declining you because of caste etc then please question them asking them to give you an assurance that if they marry you to someone of their choice things will work - In reality there can be no assurance given for any relationship - found by you or introduced by parents as relationships need work by both...both need to grow up, both of you need to be happy individuals for relationship to work + if colleges were the deciding factor then we would not see divorces of those who married in the same caste or are from Stanford, MIT, IIT, IIMs, Inseads of the world.

Here is a suggestion/ recommendation
- meet his family
- get him to meet your parents
- let both set of parents meet

all the best

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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