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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello. I am about 61 or so, have a few flats, plots, hefty FDs, bank, balance, gold, silver, etc, all in my wife’s name. My father developed Parkinsons when he was about 64-65, my uncle had the same problem. My mother and aunt cared for their husbands, devotedly, and never allowed anyone to mock them. My wife is different. She is very scared and ashamed that I will end up feeble and doddering like them, and that she will have to babysit me. All love is gone, there is only scorn and humiliation, and gradual isolation as I am asked to stay at home. I have started getting the symptoms, hands shaking, forgetfulness, inability to remember names and faces, standing in the same place for minutes, and then wondering what I am doing. Initial diagnosis by my friend who is a doctor said that this is the early stage and it will progress in a couple of years. Both my daughters completed their BE/ MS and well settled in US. They listen to her only and are ashamed of what I will become. My wife went abroad for five months and did not take me as I would be a burden. I stayed alone, the maid servant cooked. I do not blame my wife, as times change. Staying in a care home will mean that all will come to know, and this is a stigma. I can still move and still earn as a writer. I know you cannot help, just wanted to communicate with someone as it is lonely. I am thinking of ending this misery. Stay blessed.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for reaching out...Yes, I cannot help but I can surely suggest a few things to you and hope that it eases your mind and your situation.
Times do change and I really appreciate that you are making alternate plans to care for yourself which in the current circumstances seem the right thing to do. But, I would also appeal to your good sense to call for a family meeting and let your children know of your condition and what you plan on doing.
Also, how secure are you financially as you have mentioned that most of the assets are in your wife's name. Can you manage with whatever money that you have that takes care of you in terms of health as well. If not, you need to come to some sort of an arrangement with your wife (I am sure you can figure this one out).
I don't understand what makes you play into the 'stigma' thing. In societies, anything can become a stigma provided it has been given power to become one.
Retain your power within you and create the future the way that you wish to. People will talk today and forget it all tomorrow...that's how it plays out! So, if you have a chance to make a living as a writer, then do just that! It can become an example for anyone who is in your position to push their boundaries. Keep inspiring!

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 81 yrs old, married for the last 52 yrs. living in a joint family. Have had good working life in Indian and foreign companies for almost 45/50 yrs. Facing health problems for the last 18 yrs. Had angioplasty three times and open heart surgery once. Son and his wife looked after me so well and gave me another lease of life. Wife did not bother much because she is mostly either talking to her mother, who is 93 yrs old, and is not taken care of by her daughter in law because of their lack of understanding for the last many years. Both of them always live in their past and are in the habit of ruining their present My wife is always inclined towards her sisters and mother and never had good relations with her daughter in law and would always find fault with her. My daughter in law is a working professional and is very much sincere and devoted and took care of me always during my post many surgical operations. Kindly suggest what to do and change thinking of my wife at this late period of my life and live peacefully for the remaining period of my life.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your family life. It's understandable that you would like to live peacefully during the remaining period of your life. While changing someone's thinking and behavior can be difficult, there are a few steps you can consider taking to address the situation:

Open and honest communication: Arrange a calm and private conversation with your wife where you express your feelings and concerns. Let her know that you value her and your daughter-in-law, and that you wish for a peaceful and harmonious family life.
Seek professional help: If the communication between your wife and daughter-in-law has been strained for many years, it might be beneficial to involve a professional mediator or family therapist. A neutral third party can help facilitate discussions and provide guidance on resolving conflicts.
Encourage empathy and understanding: Try to foster understanding and empathy between your wife and daughter-in-law by encouraging them to see things from each other's perspectives. Emphasize the importance of family unity and the positive aspects of their relationship.
Focus on positive experiences: Remind your wife of the care and support she has received from your daughter-in-law over the years. Highlight the positive moments and express gratitude for the love and attention you've all received.
Encourage shared activities: Suggest engaging in shared activities or hobbies that can help strengthen the bond between your wife and daughter-in-law. This could be something as simple as going for walks together or participating in a hobby that they both enjoy.
Promote family harmony: Reinforce the importance of family unity and encourage everyone to work towards a peaceful and harmonious living environment. This may require compromises and understanding from all parties involved.
It's important to remember that change takes time and effort, and not all situations can be completely resolved. However, by fostering open communication, seeking professional guidance, and encouraging empathy, there is a possibility of improving the relationships within your family.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm 77,my wife 74,married for 47 years We are well settled. My wife doesn't like intimacy now because she is secure because of our son who manages family and business very well. I'm retired with just ok income. Family got settled due to my earning for 50 years. I feel neglected and insulted. To find some solace I'm considering to join some old age home. I can manage my expences. Please suggest about my plan.
Ans: Assessing Financial Readiness:
Moving to an old age home is a major financial decision. It’s important to ensure that your current income and savings can comfortably cover all associated costs, including monthly fees, medical expenses, and any additional services. Make sure your financial plan is sustainable for the long term.

Estate Planning:
Before making any major life changes, ensure your estate planning is up to date. This includes having a clear will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives in place. Proper planning will provide peace of mind and ensure your wishes are respected.

Maintaining Financial Flexibility:
Even if you move to an old age home, maintaining a financial buffer is crucial. Ensure that you have liquid assets available for any unexpected expenses. This could include a combination of savings accounts, fixed deposits, and short-term debt funds.

Final Insights
Evaluate your financial situation carefully before deciding to move to an old age home. Ensure your income, investments, and estate plans are in order to support this new phase of life comfortably.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello, I am a 52-year-old man. I have never been married and I live with my mother. I recently lost my job and I am currently not working. I often feel lonely and do not have much to do. As I grow older and weaker, I worry that no one will be there to care for me. Do you have any advice for living alone and planning for the future? Should I think about booking a place in a care home in advance?
Ans: You Have Taken a Very Important First Step

You have shared your situation honestly.
That itself shows your clarity and courage.
Many people avoid facing these life questions.
But you are thinking about your future early.

That is not weakness. That is strength.
You want to plan better, live with dignity, and stay independent.

Let us now explore how you can move forward.

Emotional Health Is as Important as Financial Health

Feeling lonely is not a personal failure.
This happens to many people, especially in later stages.

But loneliness can affect your health, confidence and energy.
So emotional well-being must also be planned.

Here are some steps to take for emotional stability:

Join community-based senior citizen clubs or men’s support groups.

Volunteer in social or religious organisations nearby.

Spend more time in parks or public libraries.

Attend free local workshops, health camps, or senior hobby circles.

Join digital groups where people share similar life stories.

You can also try to reconnect with old friends or classmates.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist.
You may get clarity and courage to move forward with strength.

Mental peace is your foundation.
Every other area will build better if your mind is clear.

Income Loss Needs Calm Planning, Not Panic

Job loss can feel heavy.
It creates fear about future income and expenses.
But worry will not help. Proper planning will.

Let’s assess your situation with these key questions:

Do you have any emergency savings?

Do you have PF, gratuity, or old investments?

Is your mother financially dependent on you fully?

Are you receiving any rental or pension income?

Do you have any LIC or traditional policies?

If you hold LIC or ULIP or investment-insurance policies,
Those should be reviewed immediately.
Surrendering those and reinvesting in mutual funds may be wise.

A Certified Financial Planner can help analyse that for you.
You need a structure that gives monthly income and liquidity.

Don’t delay this review. You need clarity to act.

Your Mother’s Care Also Needs to Be Protected

You are staying with your mother.
She must be elderly now.
Her health and care will also need some preparation.

Here are some points to check:

Does she have health insurance now?

If not, you must protect her with basic medical fund.

Keep Rs. 1 lakh separately only for her emergencies.

If she is eligible for government schemes, do enrol her.

Also, try to simplify her banking and mobile usage.
Digital tools can help you track and manage her needs.

If possible, keep one trusted neighbour or cousin informed.
That one person can be a backup support if needed.

Don’t carry the whole burden silently.
Even a small circle can be helpful.

Start Thinking of Your Own Medical and Long-Term Needs

Age 52 is the right age to start preparing for old age.
You are not too late. But don’t wait more.

Think about your personal health and mobility:

Do you have any current medical issues?

Are you insured with a good health policy now?

Is your health insurance individual or employer-provided earlier?

If you had employer cover, that will now be inactive.
You need your own health policy as early as possible.

Start with a basic policy, then increase later.
Premiums rise with age. So earlier is better.

Also, start creating a medical emergency fund of Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs.
Keep this in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.

Health events can come anytime.
With insurance + fund, you are protected.

Thinking About Senior Care Homes and Assisted Living

Your concern about future care is valid.
Being alone during old age can be hard.

Booking a care home now is not necessary.
But understanding options early is smart.

Here’s how to approach it:

Visit senior homes in your city or nearby areas.

Understand their admission process, fees, services and reviews.

Make a short list of 2–3 places that feel reliable.

Keep a folder ready with documents and preferences.

Do not pre-book unless needed.
But do keep your research ready and saved.

Also keep your close relatives or executor informed about your wishes.
Keep a Will and a Letter of Instruction ready for the future.

That gives you peace of mind.
Your future care will be on your terms.

Investing for Monthly Income and Stability

Without a job, you need a reliable source of income.
This can come from mutual fund income plans.

These funds are actively managed and adjust based on market cycles.
They work better than bank FDs or index funds.

Index funds just follow the market blindly.
They don’t protect during down periods.

Actively managed mutual funds, under CFP guidance,
Give better returns with risk protection.

Also, avoid direct mutual fund plans.
Direct plans may seem low-cost.
But you lose expert guidance and timely reviews.

Investing through Certified Financial Planner under regular plan
Gives you goal-based strategies, rebalancing and personal support.

At this stage, regular plan is safer and more useful.
Peace of mind is more important than tiny cost savings.

Start a plan that provides a monthly payout from your capital.
You can choose SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) through mutual funds.
This provides income while your money keeps growing.

Your financial plan must be 360-degree:

Health planning

Emergency buffer

Monthly income

Retirement fund

Estate planning

Don’t look for just one solution.
A full system will keep you secure.

Other Important Steps to Take Now

Create a file of important documents: Aadhaar, PAN, passbook, insurance, medical reports.

Make a nomination for all accounts and investments.

Write a basic Will even if assets are small.

Avoid loans or liabilities unless for emergency.

Cut unnecessary expenses until income stabilises.

If possible, try part-time, freelance or online projects.

You can also teach tuitions, do typing work, or sell skills online.
Any small income brings energy and confidence.
Keep trying different options till something works.

Finally

Your future is still in your hands.
Age 52 is not the end. It is a beginning of the next phase.

You have taken the first step with courage.
Now move ahead step-by-step with planning.

Keep your mind strong, your routine simple and your support circle active.
Financial discipline, medical readiness and emotional peace – these three must be your focus.

Care homes are one part of planning. Not the only part.
Start building your self-care system today.

And get expert help through a Certified Financial Planner.
That will make your journey smoother, structured and peaceful.

You deserve a safe, strong and independent future.
That is 100% possible with proper planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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