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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |366 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024
Relationship

Hello I'm 20 years old I have being in love with my neighbor for like 4 years....in beginning he said that he sees me has his sister but has time passed his actions changed towards me and now he also flirts with me. But he is in a relationship with someone, I wanted to confess to him has his actions changed but when i came to know that he is in a relationship i didn't coz i don't want to be a troublesome in their relationship. But he still flirts with me, sometimes his actions and words make me feel that he also wants me, i am not able to move on has he is my neighbor i have to face him on a daily basis, I was planning to confess him my feelings and i really don't expect anything in return i just want him to know and i think that confessing him will give him a closure that he should stay away from me and then this way i guess i can move on. I am so stuck between this please help me get out of this I am not able to bare this feeling anymore please just answer my one question should i confess him or not????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If he is truly in a relationship and yet he flirts with you, I don't think he has strong moral values. But I must also point out that you do not have any verbal confirmation of his interest in you; while body language can indicate a lot, let's not take that as confirmation.

If you think admitting your feelings to him would give you closure, you can, but it comes with the risk of ruining his relationship. But it would not be your fault; it would be his. If your feelings ruin his relationship, then it wasn't strong to begin with. I can't tell you to go ahead and confess or not do it at all, but I will recommend you not pursue a relationship with him in case he suggests anything on that line. You deserve better.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1220 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants her to get married. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for her and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.
Ans: Dear P,
It is unfortunate that you had to snoop around and find out about your husband's affair.
And it is understandable that you are trying to ease the pain but HOW?

The way the mind responds is to immediately move away from pain to feel better. But that doesn't mean you jump into another relationship. It is not healthy. This person from your past can be a good friend who can support you as you go through your marriage challenges and decisions that you might eventually make. take time to get to know each other. Who you knew him in the past, may not be the person who he is now. Priorities change, situations change.
Do not assume the same attraction till you have given each other the time and space with each other to gauge this. Even a bit of care and attention will seem like attraction especially when you have a husband who is being just the opposite.
So, my suggestion is to start on a friendly note and see how it grows first before thinking of a committed relationship AND don't forget you have a child too. Your friend will have to understand that if he accepts you, he also needs to be willing to take responsibility to treat your son as his. So, go slow and don't let this connection become a mere distraction. You will both end up spoiling it and you would not done anything to fix your marriage as well.
Does this make sense? You probably wanted a better response from me to get a go-ahead. I can't do that as it will just bring you more heartbreak. Close one door to be able to walk through another one confidently.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1220 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love, respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion I decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him . I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in but now its became very difficult for me to continue these married life. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.
Ans: Dear P.
Never use a current situation to justify a new relationship. You are simply using the new relationship as a distraction from the old unsuccessful one.
Any reason why you had decided to accept your husband's affair?

You have not moved past your marriage to be able to handle another relationship. First things first...
1. What happens to your son in this confusion?
2. Have you decided to separate/divorce your husband before pursuing the new person?
3. Is the new person willing to accept your son and understand that he is a part of all this?
4. Are you living some unfulfilled dream with this man from your past?
5. Are you running away from the pain of your marriage and seeking solace in the new person?

Kindly answer these questions before you jump from one relationship to another. It will save you a lot of heartache and trouble.
Relationships are not something to be used to escape from and into BUT something to be grown into and grown from.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |368 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants her to get married. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do
Ans: Dear P
Dear P

Big hugs

It sounds like you are in a very difficult and complex situation. Your husband's behavior towards you is not acceptable, and it is understandable that you feel hurt and unsupported in your marriage. It is also understandable that you have feelings for someone from your past who has always been respectful of your marriage and who now wants to be with you.

However, it's important to remember that any decision you make will have consequences, and it's important to carefully consider all the potential outcomes before making a choice. It's also important to think about what is best for you and your son, as well as for the other people involved.

Here are a few things to consider:

Talk to a professional: It may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor to help you sort through your feelings and make a decision that is right for you. A professional can provide an objective perspective and help you explore your options.

Think about your priorities: Consider what is most important to you in your life. Do you want to prioritize your own happiness and pursue a relationship with the person you love, or do you want to prioritize your family and the stability of your current living situation?

Consider the impact on your son: Think about how any decision you make will impact your son. Will he be able to adjust to a new living situation, and how will he be affected by your decision to leave your current marriage?

Talk to your husband: If you haven't already, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with your husband about how his behavior has made you feel and what you need from him in order to feel supported and respected in your marriage.

Think about the long-term: Consider the long-term implications of any decision you make. How will it impact your financial situation, your relationships with family members, and your own emotional well-being?

Ultimately, the decision about what to do is yours, and it's important to make a choice that feels right for you. Just remember to take your time, think carefully, and seek support from those you trust.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |554 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Career
Sir, my son is a student of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Bhubaneswar. He is interested intership program in Germany or France. Please guide me.
Ans: Hello Soumitra,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to know that your son is interested in pursuing an internship program in Germany or France. However, I would like to tell you that studying overseas frequently offers easier visa options, such as student visas, which can result in post-study employment opportunities. Therefore, instead of directly going for an internship program, he can consider pursuing higher studies first. Both Germany and France are renowned for their top-notch education and research centres, and thus, pursuing a Master's degree in Mechanical Engineering or an associated field in any of these countries is an ideal choice. RWTH Aachen, TU Munich, and École Polytechnique are renowned universities that provide specialized courses. Your son should also think about contacting academics in his area of interest and participating in academic conferences or workshops, which can assist in establishing connections and result in possible internship or research possibilities. In Germany, he can locate internships and research possibilities via platforms such as DAAD (German Academic Exchange Service), which frequently entail financing options. Likewise, in France, your son can explore the CAMPUS France website, which offers information on internships and study programs that are open to overseas students. I wish him the very best for all his future endeavors.

For more information, you can visit our website: www.edwiseinternational.com

You can also follow us on our Instagram page: edwiseint

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6690 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Money
I am 23yo Male, I have started monthly SIP in Parag parikh flexi cap fund -Rs. 2000, HDFC Index fund BSE Sensex plan - Rs. 2000 and Tata small cap fund - Rs. 2000. How much corpus can I achieve with this investment after 15 years. And if I increase my investment in each of the funds upto Rs. 5000 then how much corpus can I achieve in next 15 years?
Ans: At 23, you're taking a positive step towards wealth creation with your SIPs. Long-term investing in mutual funds can provide you with compounding benefits and generate substantial returns over time. Let's evaluate how your current SIPs and future increases could shape your financial journey over the next 15 years.

Expected Corpus with Current Investment
Right now, you're investing Rs 6,000 per month across three funds. Over 15 years, this consistent approach can generate a substantial corpus, but it's important to manage expectations. Mutual funds, especially in equity, can be volatile, but historically they have offered returns ranging from 10% to 12% over the long term. Here’s what you can expect:

Assuming an annual return of around 10%, your investment of Rs 6,000 per month could grow significantly. While it's hard to predict exact numbers due to market fluctuations, you may end up with an impressive corpus after 15 years.

Your current SIP could help you reach anywhere between Rs 22-24 lakhs, depending on market conditions. This growth is mainly due to compounding and consistent investments. But do remember, this is an estimate, and actual results can vary.

Corpus with Increased Investment
If you increase your SIP to Rs 15,000 per month (Rs 5,000 in each fund), your potential corpus will rise significantly. Assuming the same annual return of around 10%, this approach would result in much higher wealth creation:

Your new SIP of Rs 15,000 per month could help you accumulate a corpus of approximately Rs 55-60 lakhs after 15 years, depending on the market. The increased investment will take advantage of compounding to a greater extent, amplifying your returns.

Analytical Insight on Different Funds
Actively Managed Flexi-cap Fund
A flexi-cap fund gives you the flexibility to invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies. Since these funds are actively managed, the fund manager can adjust the portfolio as market conditions change. This flexibility could help in generating higher returns over the long term compared to index funds, which are passive.

Actively managed funds provide room for better returns due to expert fund management. The fund manager's discretion allows for navigating volatile markets and taking advantage of emerging opportunities, which can potentially outperform index funds.

Flexi-cap funds, being diversified across market caps, reduce the risk of over-exposure to any one sector. This balanced approach can help you achieve consistent growth in the long term.

Small-cap Funds
Small-cap funds focus on smaller companies with high growth potential. These companies may be volatile in the short term, but they can offer substantial returns over the long term. Your choice to invest in small-cap funds reflects a more aggressive risk-taking approach, which can work in your favor given your young age.

While small-cap funds can deliver higher returns, they are also more prone to volatility. Therefore, it’s important to have a long-term horizon, as you do. Over 15 years, this investment may reward you with considerable gains, especially if the small-cap companies grow rapidly.

Index Funds: Some Drawbacks
Index funds, while offering diversification, have certain limitations. Since these funds are passively managed, they cannot beat the market but simply follow it. They may provide decent returns, but they often miss out on opportunities to outperform, especially during volatile market conditions.

Lack of Flexibility: Index funds strictly follow the market index. Even during a downturn, they continue holding the same stocks, which may not be ideal for an investor looking for growth in a changing market.

Missed Opportunities: Active funds, on the other hand, can adjust their portfolio to benefit from undervalued stocks, thus offering higher returns compared to index funds.

Lower Performance Potential: Index funds have a cap on potential returns, as they are not actively seeking out high-growth opportunities. While they are low-cost, this passive approach might not suit investors seeking substantial growth.

In contrast, regular funds through a certified financial planner can offer personalized advice and flexibility in selecting better opportunities. The expertise of a professional can result in better portfolio management and timely adjustments based on market dynamics.

Benefits of Regular Funds with Certified Financial Planner
While direct funds might seem cost-efficient, investing through regular funds and leveraging the expertise of a certified financial planner offers several advantages:

Professional Management: Certified financial planners provide a structured approach to investments. Their advice can help balance risk and ensure the selection of suitable funds for your financial goals.

Customized Financial Planning: Instead of following a one-size-fits-all approach, a financial planner tailors investment strategies to your personal goals, risk appetite, and time horizon. This ensures better-aligned returns with your life goals.

Active Monitoring: Regular funds through a certified financial planner offer better portfolio management. They consistently monitor your investments and rebalance your portfolio when necessary, optimizing your returns.

Long-term Strategy: Certified financial planners create a roadmap for your financial goals, ensuring you're on track to reach your desired corpus. They can adjust the strategy based on changes in your life or market conditions.

Tax Implications
It's important to keep in mind the tax implications on your investments:

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term capital gains (LTCG) over Rs 1.25 lakh, the tax rate is 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Rebalancing and Taxes: When you work with a certified financial planner, they can ensure that any rebalancing is done in a tax-efficient manner, reducing your overall tax liability.

SIP as a Wealth-building Tool
SIPs are a powerful tool for wealth building because they instill financial discipline and take advantage of rupee cost averaging. Here’s why your SIP strategy works well:

Consistent Investments: Regular contributions to SIPs help you stay invested through market ups and downs, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Rupee Cost Averaging: This strategy lowers the average cost of your investments over time, which is particularly useful in volatile markets. You buy more units when the market is low and fewer when it's high, leading to better long-term returns.

Compounding Growth: The power of compounding ensures that even small amounts invested consistently can grow significantly over time. As your SIP grows, so does your investment, thanks to the reinvestment of returns.

Increase Your Contributions
You’re already on the right path, but increasing your SIP amounts will amplify your wealth creation potential. As your income grows, make it a point to increase your SIP contributions proportionally. This will help you reach your financial goals faster.

By consistently increasing your SIPs as your financial situation improves, you’ll be able to achieve greater compounding benefits, ensuring a stronger financial future.

Diversification Across Fund Types
Your portfolio has a healthy mix of fund types, which helps manage risk while taking advantage of growth opportunities. But remember:

Balanced Approach: While small-cap funds offer high growth potential, they can be risky. Balancing them with more stable, large-cap or flexi-cap funds helps ensure steady growth with a cushion during market downturns.

Risk Management: Diversifying your SIPs across different types of funds ensures you aren't overexposed to a particular sector or market cap. This can protect your investments from excessive volatility.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Portfolio
Your SIP investments should not be a “set it and forget it” approach. It’s important to review your portfolio regularly, at least once a year. Markets change, your financial situation might change, and it’s crucial that your portfolio evolves to keep pace with these changes.

Annual Review: With the help of a certified financial planner, you can assess your portfolio’s performance annually. This ensures that your investments are aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.

Rebalancing: As market conditions shift, it may be necessary to rebalance your portfolio. A certified financial planner can help you make these adjustments to optimize returns without incurring unnecessary tax liabilities.

Final Insights
Your commitment to SIPs at such a young age is commendable. This disciplined approach will help you build a strong financial future. Increasing your contributions will amplify your wealth creation and ensure that you achieve your financial goals sooner.

Remember, while mutual funds can offer substantial returns, it’s important to stay invested for the long term and not be swayed by short-term market volatility. Work with a certified financial planner to make the most of your investments and stay on track toward your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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