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Shalini Singh |138 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2023Hindi

Hi Madam, I am 36 yrs old girl, working in central govt, I lost my parents long back, all my siblings are elder & busy in their family, brothers doesnt even talk to me, so there is no one who is seriously finding boy for my marriage, I tried through matrimonial apps, it didnt work. Based on my colleague advise, I tried through dating apps but nobody is genuine there, most of them are looking for hook up. Finally I found one guy who is 3 years elder than me but come to know within 3months that he too married but we are in touch through calls & msgs from past 6 years, since I stay alone at quarters, he met me more than 30 times at my place, even spent nights with me but never forced me for anything that I dont like. I love him a lot but he is married so I dont want have physical relationship with him but I too have biological urges but I am scared of getting pregnant or even loosing virginity which might affect my marriage, at the same time I dont have any hopes left on my marriage. This guy has lots of patience , we meet, drink together , do all things except intercourse , could you pls advise me whether I should have sex with him? also I stopped using dating apps as I love this guy.

Ans: I read your question a few times...I will respond it in 3 parts
Part 1:
Current relationship with someone who is not available - You are 36 and are smart to take life decisions. You can do as you wish but incase you get intimate - keep it to that only. Do not let your emotions come to play and get used to him - treat this relationship as a casual relationship which it is already. As for getting pregnant - take precautions, but more than pregnancy you should be worried about STD's hope this man is clean. As for you stopping your search because of this man - Remember - He is NOT AVAILABLE - so rethink why are you being available for someone who is not available to you. You and only you are responsible for your current situation. You have the mind to decide if you wish to continue to know or him or stop this relationship.

Part 2:
Finding someone compatible/ likeminded can become easy if you are (a) not in a hurry (b) know your dealbreakers and negotiables (c) feel confident and good about yourself...if you have these things in place then you would need patience and with that you will find your person - online or offline.

Part 3:
Its unfortunate you lost your parents - a virtual hug coming your way. While parents and sibling do help in introducing their people to others its wrong to Expect them to help - its your relationship and its ok to find your person, in fact its awesome to do so.

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Anu Krishna |1321 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Question by SSV - Sep 12, 2022Hindi

Dear AnuMyself is widow. But I am in a physical relationship with a guy who is a divorcee. He made me feel that he will marry me after a few years. He never expressed his love but was good in bed.I like another guy who is married but not happy. Daily we chat till 3 am. He too likes me. He doesn’t want any physical intimacy from but likes to touch my hands.I am confused what to do.Please help.

Ans: Dear SSV,

I guess you need to ask yourself: What is it that I want in my life?

Marriage or a casual relationship? Both require mindsets that involves different priorities and a different set of behaviours.

Honestly, it is quite possible that you might find someone who is not just interested in a physical relationship but also might be willing to progress into marriage if that’s what you want as well.

So, please clear your mind before complicating your life any further.

There are a lot of dating apps for you to find someone interesting, attractive and with a similar mindset once you know what you truly want.

Best wishes!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2024Hindi

Hi Gurus, I am 40yrs Female. I have 2 kids. Daughter is 12yrs and Son is 11 yrs. Because of kids we hardly have sex 1-2 times in a month. My husband is a nice person and he is ok in bed(sometimes satisfying and sometimes not). Since 5 yrs I have been chatting with my Ex-colleague who is 28 yrs unmarried. Recently he proposed me for sex. I said ok but I am afraid of getting caught. Please Gurus suggest me what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Running away from discomfort into the arms of a person who gives you the illusion of attention isn't going to help you or your marriage.
Focus on your family and marriage and work on ways and means if spicing up your sex life instead of giving into the charms of this young man. You know what's at stake and also that after the initial craze with you, he might just hop onto the next woman who will catch his attention...You will not just get caught, the guilt perhaps will eat into you and seep into your marriage.

Do what must be done to spice things up with your husband...start with a simple conversation. Also, your children are old enough to be taken care of by a relative or a friend for an evening of fun with your husband.

Of course, the decision is still yours to make...but know what's at stake here and tread carefully. What's done can never be undone!

All the best!

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