Hi. I recently got married in an arranged setup. 
I feel like my wife -- who is the youngest of the lot among her five sisters -- is quite emotionally distant from me. She neither likes to talk to me much nor engages with my parents. But as I noticed, she is constantly on call/text with her sisters and mother. It also occurred to me that she shares all the nitty-gritty of our relationship with her family -- which felt like an invasion of my privacy. I don't want my parents to worry about this as they are old, so I assured them it will be alright. She, on other hand, said that things are just ok as they are. This left me bumfuzzled. I am worried if I made a mistake marrying this person. 

I am from mechanical background and work as an engineer. My wife is an IT professional. We got married in 2014 by finding through matrimony site and same caste. I belong from Haryana and she is primarily from UP and we have grown in different cities. She has one sister (IT professional) who got divorced in 2012 and married again in 2014 after our engagement. Everything was fine. The story started after the engagement. I noticed she used to talk her jija (PG guest house renter) and I showed him caution since she did not attend my call in between. I again noticed her commanding behaviour when we were selecting the menu selection (food) for the upcoming function that was to happen at my place but I ignored it. Honeymoon was in Singapore where his brother played a role for ticket arrangement and agency where I paid her half the amount as per her wish. In the honeymoon also, I noticed she use to go to the bathroom and keep sending information to her family members which I ignored. By now I was of a view that she use to share thick and thin with her family members. After we married, I was supposed to go to Pune for two nights and she was alone in our flat. When I came back, I asked the security guard to share visitors list and saw her jija’s name (might be with her sister). I took a photo and went to the flat. I asked her anyone had come and she lied to me. Then it turned to be a hell fight and in the morning she put herself on her knees and said sorry and said it will not repeat. But this did not stop here. My and her office was in Gurgaon and sometimes she said please come for pickup. I went to her office two hours prior to her given time and caught her again with her jija and her sister. This kind of stuff I noticed two-three times. Once, we were roaming in a craft mela and we came across her jija and her sister. She used to go her home without telling for how much time she is going and all. This resulted in no stuff shared by me also. Her parents never called me and I also never connected with her parents and brother or her family. Whenever any fight happens, she shouts loudly to attract attention and she uses sex as a tool to forget every matter and move on. On the festival front, she carries on with her ways and has never accepted our ways. She always mentions, ‘Tum logon ko puja bi nahi karni aati.’ Her brother and parents visited only five-six times in seven years. They have a big time connection with elder jija. We have never take any penny from her salary till now because, on many occasions, I found her of ill-mentality. With God’s grace, we have two flats and our financial background is good. Whenever I try to ask her about her bank balance, she never gives answers. I tried to convince her that you pay my loan, I will give you EMI, but she always said she will think about it. I have four sisters. After we married, we visited them. She never gave them a penny and would always ask me; she would also say that I don’t have khulle paise. On one occasion she said, “Mere paise chori ho gaye.” It was the initial stage so we ignored it. But after that my shirt went missing and some stuff went missing. We also noticed a few times that our money was also stolen. We suspect her but are not sure about her behaviour. My sisters stay in the village and they came once in a year so there is no disturbance from my family. My mother is 75 years old and a very polite lady. She stays with us and interferes nothing in matters. We have two kids now. One of our kids is just ignoring her and the second kid is somewhat going with her and when I am at home he also usually spends time with me. She is never kind of playing and mixing person with kids and my behaviour is to mix and that’s the reason both kids connect well with me. Her parents stay in Dhanbad. She had gone there one year back but the kids refused to go. She put the blame on me. I told her that I can come along with kids to which she said big joke. After coming back from home, I notice she started saying no to everything -- like going our second home in the village or to attend any ceremony or saying no to sex, etc. Though I am a through gentleman, we ignore her but recently she provoked me and I said blah, blah, blah since she also use blah, blah, blah and recorded and called her brother and mother at our home. They use her father only for calling. Her father called and said, ‘Why are you using bad language?’ I said the same was used by her. They came my house twice for meeting. Her brother was quiet and mother overspoke. My wife used to threaten me three-four time for divorce and I kept ignoring her words. I mentioned this to her mother. Her mother in that meeting she will be here with taunting. She did the same thing to provoke second time and this time her mother use to never stop shouting along with my wife. Her brother also used abusive language and they brought one retired inspector. However, that retired person talk genuinely. He was from Haryana and, on many points, he mentioned festivals have family traditions. I never like her food in seven years not due to the bad reflection but due to her making recipe. I tried to change it in initial days, but she always tries to be heavy on me once I approach kitchen. So I left that and started eating. After two recent fights, there are no talks and I have kept one maid to cook my food. Now she used to go in the market/bank /her family frequently to disturb the atmosphere of the family. The big disconnect I found is she is full with backbiting and negative approach behaviour and never gives heed to positive behaviour. Either she will be quiet or she will be loud and attach no midway to discuss and debate. After all this, what I concluded is that my wife is totally hacked mind and adopted ill tactics to down me. Her family members are playing smartly and may be using her money also at the same time I observe that she don’t want to break with me. They want to put pressure on me by emotion/threaten means for the gaps (kids are not connected with her or her family). My thinking is time is a big healer and I have large mind to digest the situation comings. Please suggest me what can be best interest of this situation. Thanks

Hi, Warm Greetings!! Myself Rushabh (30) and my wife (29) -- she is an adopted child as her mother passed away while giving birth to her and her sister. They are twins with a minute's gap and her father got married to another woman. Later in 2012, her stepfather died and she was living with her stepmother. We both come from middle-class families. We being prospects for marriage our families were going through multiple biodatas every week. In this process, we shortlisted each other and decided to meet in person. Initially, we both met only once where I was impressed with her personality, optimism, communication skills, her matured behaviour, and decision-making skills. Post the first meeting we told our decisions to our families. Then both the families met and they decided the next course of action, i.e., our engagement date. In July 2021 we got engaged during COVID-induced lockdown. Considering my job and the distance we lived at, we could only meet on Sundays and used to have 2 to 3 hours long phone calls every night. Either way, she barely spoke to me and made me speak all the time and I told her everything about me. As she wasn't speaking much, my family thought that she might be an introvert and a bit hesitant to talk so we ignored it. We got married in November 2021. Now, it has been 2½ months since we got married. For the first 15 - 20 days we didn't bother her and allowed her to get settled in her new life and new home. Then eventually my mom started giving her small chores, which she couldn't perform, which is fine since she has not done any chore before. But now based on her behaviour I think she does not want a change or learn anything new. Honestly, we were not aware of her behaviour with her mom, nor of management skills and, her routine at her maternal home. Her behaviour is not like any normal girl of her age. She behaves like a child and gets amused by silly and normal things. When the whole family is hanging out together she doesn’t talk at all. When we talk about general things she takes it negatively on herself, she doesn’t even eat properly, nor speak about her likes and dislikes in any aspect with even me. She never expresses herself in any way and rather takes everything negatively, which has made us more cautious and worried as to what to speak in front of her or what to tell her. So we individually (I, my mom, dad and sister) started to confront her gently and guide her in everything from scratch (like we teach a toddler) but she is not responding at all.We don't know whether she is doing this intentionally or not. On top of it when she talks to anyone apart from the 4 of us she speaks in a very mature and practical manner that no one can ever second guess her behaviour with us. Considering our ages, I am afraid that our relationship might be jeopardized because of her behaviour. She had thought multiple times to end her life or to call a meeting with all elders and get separated (she gave me an indirect hint). This is much worrisome for all of us as nobody can cope with the situation in the hand.I will be able to explain everything in much more detail if we can connect over a phone call or we can meet virtually/in-person.

I got married in the year 2013 and it was an arranged marriage planned by my parents. I have only one sister who got married in the year 2012. My wife has some issues with my mother and my sister few months after I got married. The primary issue was that my mother and my sister do back biting about her on mobile phone. Although I always denied it and asked my wife to don't focus too much on it. However, last year my wife got call recordings from my mother's phone where my sister was talking meanly about my wife which even I did not like it. I called my wife and brother in law to my place to resolve the differences and it resulted in a better relationship. We recently moved to our newly built house and on the day of the function, my wife saw from a distance my mother and my sister talking to each other in a low tone. She thought they were again talking about her and she got angry. However, my mother denied it and said they were talking about some other issues. My sister came to our place few days after the function and my wife did not talk properly with her. That made my mother angry and she in turn did not talk well with my mother in law who came to our house just recently. Now my wife and mother don't talk to each other and the vibes are quite bad when I enter the house. What can I do to make these complex relations work better?