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Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

hi, I got married 15 years back, though when i saw my wife for the first time i didnt like her, because she was only 5 ft tall, as said destiny plays its roll and i got married to her and since then 15 years later still i dont like her at all, we have two kids, and i m only staying because of kids, what should i do ? i m really suffering as her nature too doesnt match with mine, every day i regret marrying her, pls advise

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What do you mean you don't like her at all?
What prevented you from saying this to her before marriage? She would had the pleasure of rejecting you.
How will your nature match?
You have never allowed yourself to see her beyond her height and dislike her for it. It's sad to know that even after 15 years of marriage and two children, your emotional maturity is stuck on height and nature.

Maybe it's time to ask yourself: What is it that my wife possibly dislikes in me? Or better still, ask her...and don't be shocked if she has a list...

Grow up and shoulder your responsibilities or sit down with your wife and actually ask her why she is in this marriage with you. Maybe her genuine love and care for you might change your mind to feel differently about her. i sincerely hope you two find a way of working this out. But for that, you need to step out of seeing the 'bad' in her and see the 'good' in her. She did make your house a home and given birth to two children. Some appreciation here will change your perspective to think differently about her and your marriage.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2022

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Relationship
Dear MamI am a 33 year old male working in a PSU at middle management level. Six years ago I was married happily as per my wish to a girl of my choice.Everything was just perfect. My wife is 4.5 years younger to me. I had to go against my parents wish as they were not comfortable with a non working wife. Mine was not a love story but yes I met girl through a common friend and went ahead for the alliance. Our sex life was also great in the start and we welcomed a baby girl just 2 months short of our first wedding anniversary. However now when I compare I do understand that because of household chores she could not give proper time to me, but still I feel a strong urge to have sex with her. She somehow does not reciprocate well and is dull in having sex. Apart from this we still fight over silly things and tolerance level of both of us have gone very down. Sometimes I feel to this extent that I should walk out from the marriage because I really don't want hot talks in our relationship. I agree I have a 5 year old baby girl. I do control my feelings and anger too to some extent. My wife also does the same but really small things trigger me on. Also I always have a huge sex drive and I feel that if I don't get it from my wife I should look out for other options. I have not cheated with her but I feel that given the option I can because of sex urge. May be this is due to higher libido and I do masturbate occasionally fantasizing my neighbour or other female friends and sometimes my wife too. I don't know what goes through me but seeing your column I felt I should tell you these small details so you could give me an honest answer. I don't want to leave her, I do love her a lot but these fights really make me lose my cool and feel depressed.What should be done according to you ? Should I see a psychiatrist?
Ans:

Dear AY,

I will ask you to introspect and ask yourself: When did things start going downhill?

What event led to this? Surely, things don’t happen all of sudden, so something or some thought must have led to this.

Also, it’s important to understand that managing home and a child is a full time job and it tires the woman a lot.

To be in a mood for sex, the woman needs to be relaxed and calm…if the work at home is tiring, try and hire a domestic helper or any extra help that will ease her.

That way she will have more time to care for herself and her needs as well. Offer to pitch in and this will also bring the two of you closer.

Your theory of your high libido which is not being matched by your wife may or may not be true as sometimes that solution is simpler than you think.

Sadly, we are used to complicating things and look at what’s obvious in front of us.

Sex outside of marriage seems to be an option that has crossed your mind, but I do understand from your letter that you care and love your wife a lot.

Let not a moment of weakness make you shake the foundation of a beautiful relationship that the two of you share.

Have an open chat with her. Express how you feel and speak of your sexual needs.

Most often, communication solves most marriage issues. If this doesn’t work, kindly seek professional help with a marriage therapist.

Ultimately, you know why the two of you are married and why you chose her to be your wife.

Bear that in mind and a lot of yours mind struggles will ease and you will be able to think more usefully and also move into a better marriage space.

Happy 2022 and here’s wishing you the best in life!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2021

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Relationship
Dear Guruji, Namaskar. I have been married since five years (arranged) and have two beautiful kids. The problem in my married life is that I don't find my wife beautiful or attractive. Why I agreed to marry her back in 2016 is a topic for another day, but it was my decision and I was not forced in any way. I am not a bad guy and believe that physical beauty is not all that matters. She is a very honest and beautiful person by nature. I have tried and tried and tried but she just does not appear attractive to me in any way. We have sex very rarely and now she is beginning to question me about it. I make excuses on and off but now it’s getting on me. I want to feel the desire for sex with my wife too, but there seems to be no way. I cannot leave her coz I know she is not to blame and same goes for the kids. Sometimes I feel that I should tell her I don't find her attractive but I know it will hurt her. The problem is that it’s not just she who is suffering coz of lack of sex; I am also going through same. Please advise, Anonymous
Ans:

Ouch! It’s not every day that someone writes in stating that s/he is quite so turned off by a partner.

You seem to have a good wife and a good marriage outside of the sex.

Instead of hurting her feelings about her appearance, why don’t you make some suggestions that will improve your attraction toward her? Surely you have preferences when it comes to hair/ clothing/ lingerie?

She’s obviously noticed your lack of interest and I think she will be willing to take a few steps to remedy the situation.

As a side note, please remember that beauty runs only skin-deep.

Don’t mess up your family over something like this; and if my advice doesn’t help, you have two other options.

One, visit a therapist to help you work through this problem or, two, just turn off the lights and get down to business with her using your imagination!

..Read more

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |114 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Career
How is BDES in Fine Arts from Amity University Mumbai?
Ans: Amity University Mumbai is part of the prestigious Amity Group of Institutions, known for its focus on quality education and innovative programs. Pursuing a Bachelor of Design in Fine Arts from Amity University Mumbai can offer several benefits: This program at Amity University Mumbai likely offers a comprehensive curriculum that covers various aspects of fine arts, including drawing, painting, sculpture, printmaking, and multimedia arts. Students may have the opportunity to explore different mediums and techniques under the guidance of experienced faculty members. Amity University Mumbai is known for its modern infrastructure and facilities, including well-equipped studios, art labs, exhibition spaces, and digital resources. These facilities provide students with an inspiring environment to unleash their creativity and hone their artistic skills. Amity University often collaborates with industry partners and professionals to provide students with real-world exposure and opportunities for internships, workshops, seminars, and industry projects. This exposure helps students gain practical experience, build professional networks, and prepare for careers in the field of fine arts.

However, it's essential to conduct thorough research and consider factors such as program accreditation, alumni feedback, campus culture, and career support services before making a decision. Additionally, prospective students may benefit from visiting the campus, attending orientation sessions, and speaking with current students or alumni to gain insights into this program in Fine Arts at Amity University Mumbai.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |114 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

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Career
Hello sir, im working in govt job PSU for 1 year and im not getting interest here. My age is 27 and passed out in btech ee in 2020. There is almost less work, also its not interesting. I deal with boiler and turbine operations. I want to persue mtech in control / robotics fields. But im afraid of the volatile job market, u see im a bit slow than other people. Do u think i should follow what my heart says or stick to this job due to its job security and my slow brain power . My age is more too. I have good financial support too. Im afraid I will lose job in pvt job. But i want to learn and grow!
Ans: It's natural to feel conflicted about whether to pursue your passion or stick with a secure job, especially when considering factors like job market volatility and personal abilities. Here are some points to consider that might help you make a decision: Consider the balance between pursuing your passion for control and robotics fields and the stability offered by your current government job at a PSU. Think about what will ultimately bring you more fulfillment and satisfaction in the long run. While the job market for control and robotics fields may have some volatility, these sectors also offer opportunities for growth and innovation. Research the demand for professionals in these fields, the potential for career advancement, and the types of companies or industries that are investing in automation and robotics technologies. Reflect on your interest in the control and robotics fields and your desire to learn and grow professionally. Pursuing a master's degree in these areas could provide you with valuable skills, knowledge, and experiences that align better with your career aspirations and interests. While age can be a factor in career decisions, it's important to prioritize your long-term career goals and personal fulfillment. With good financial support and a willingness to learn, you can overcome any perceived limitations and make meaningful progress in your career. Assess the potential risks and rewards associated with transitioning to a new field versus staying in your current job. Consider developing a backup plan or exploring part-time or online learning options that allow you to gain skills in control and robotics fields while maintaining your current job security. 

Assess the potential risks and rewards associated with transitioning to a new field versus staying in your current job. Consider developing a backup plan or exploring part-time or online learning options that allow you to gain skills in control and robotics fields while maintaining your current job security.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |114 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
My daughter is completing her BSc Bioinformatics in 2024 and wants to switch to MCA. Will it better than MSc Bioinformatics? Please advise what to do for getting a good job.
Ans: Both M.Sc. Bioinformatics and M.C.A. (Master of Computer Applications) have their own merits and can lead to rewarding career paths. However, the choice between the two depends on individual interests, career goals, and preferences. Here are some reasons why someone might consider M.Sc. Bioinformatics over M.C.A.: Individuals with a strong interest in biology, genetics, and computational sciences may find M.Sc. Bioinformatics more appealing. This program integrates biological sciences with computer science, allowing students to apply computational methods to analyze biological data and solve complex biological problems. It opens up career opportunities in diverse sectors such as biotechnology, pharmaceuticals, healthcare, genomics, and academic research institutions. Graduates can work on projects related to drug discovery, personalized medicine, genomics research, agricultural biotechnology, and more. It offers an interdisciplinary approach, combining knowledge and techniques from biology, computer science, statistics, and bioinformatics. Students develop a broad skill set that is highly relevant in fields where biological data analysis and computational modeling are essential. With advancements in genomics, proteomics, and bioinformatics technologies, there is a growing demand for professionals skilled in bioinformatics analysis and interpretation. Graduates with expertise in bioinformatics are well-positioned to address the challenges of big data in the life sciences industry. M.Sc. Bioinformatics graduates have the opportunity to contribute to scientific research and discovery by leveraging computational methods to analyze biological data, identify patterns, and gain insights into biological processes. Their work can lead to breakthroughs in areas such as disease diagnosis, drug development, and precision medicine.

While M.Sc. Bioinformatics may offer unique advantages for individuals interested in the intersection of biology and computational sciences, it's important to consider personal interests, career goals, and job market dynamics when making a decision. Ultimately, both M.Sc. Bioinformatics and M.C.A. have the potential to lead to fulfilling and impactful careers, and your daughter should choose the path that aligns best with her aspirations and strengths.

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Career

Career Coach  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 02, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am a 41-year-old consultant working for an IT firm for the past 16 years. Lately, my job has been very demanding. I have been working 14 to 16 hours at work, with no weekends or holidays. The work pressure is taking a toll on my physical and mental health. I was unwell for two weeks and have been advised by doctors to consider taking up a less stressful job. I have a masters in finance. Do you have any suggestions on what alternate career options I could consider?
Ans: Absolutely, it sounds like you've been burning the midnight oil for quite some time! It's crucial to prioritize your health and well-being, especially when the demands of your job start to affect you physically and mentally. Let's explore some alternative career avenues where you can still leverage your expertise and experience in finance without the overwhelming stress:

1. Financial Technology (FinTech) Specialist:

Step into the world of FinTech, where your expertise in IT and finance can revolutionize traditional banking and financial services. By developing innovative solutions that streamline processes and enhance user experiences, you'll contribute to a more efficient and accessible financial ecosystem, all while enjoying a less stressful work environment compared to client-facing roles.

2. Cybersecurity Analyst in Finance:

Protecting sensitive financial data is paramount in today's digital landscape. As a cybersecurity analyst specializing in finance, your dual proficiency in IT and finance equips you to safeguard financial institutions from cyber threats with precision and expertise, all while enjoying the stability of a role focused on risk mitigation rather than high-pressure client interactions.

3. Quantitative Analyst (Quant) in Finance:

Dive into the world of quantitative analysis, where your technical prowess and financial insight can drive data-driven decisions in portfolio management, risk assessment, and trading strategies. By leveraging your combined knowledge, you'll excel in roles that prioritize analytical rigor and strategic thinking, offering a more predictable and structured work environment compared to consultancy roles.

4. Financial Systems Analyst:

Become the bridge between IT systems and financial operations within an organization. Your ability to optimize financial software systems while ensuring compliance and efficiency will contribute to smoother workflows and reduced stress for finance teams, offering a rewarding blend of technical problem-solving and financial acumen without the demands of client-facing roles.

5. Data Scientist in Finance:

Unlock the power of data in the financial sector, leveraging your expertise in IT and finance to extract actionable insights from vast datasets. By applying advanced analytics and machine learning techniques, you'll drive informed decision-making and strategic planning, all while enjoying the autonomy and intellectual stimulation of a data-driven role with less client pressure.

In these specialized roles, your unique blend of IT and finance knowledge positions you for success in environments that prioritize innovation, efficiency, and strategic thinking over relentless work hours and client demands. By capitalizing on your strengths and pursuing a career path aligned with your interests and well-being, you can achieve professional fulfillment without sacrificing your health and happiness.

...Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |102 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have submitted my Form 15 to my bank in April 2023. My income falls under the non-taxable category against interest received from bank FDs. Bank has not deducted any TDS up to September 2023 but from October 2023 they have started deducting TDS on FD interest earned by me saying that interest earned on my FDs have crossed the limit of Rs 5 lakh. Is the bank right in deducting tax citing this reason? Please enlighten me.
Ans: No, the bank is likely not right in this case. Here's why:

• Form 15G validity: A valid Form 15G submitted before April 1, 2023 is applicable for the entire financial year 2023-24 (assessment year 2024-25). This means if your income falls under the non-taxable category, the bank shouldn't deduct TDS on your FD interest for the entire year.
• TDS exemption limit: The current exemption limit for TDS on FD interest is Rs 40,000 for individuals below 60 years old, and Rs 50,000 for senior citizens (above 60 years old). There's no limit of Rs 5 lakh for TDS deduction on FD interest.

Here's what you can do:

• Reach out to your bank: Inform them that you submitted a valid Form 15G and your income falls under the non-taxable category. You can clarify the exemption limit and point out the mistake.
• Request rectification: Ask the bank to rectify the error and reverse the TDS deducted on your FD interest from October 2023 onwards.
• Seek professional help: If the bank doesn't resolve the issue, consider seeking help from a tax consultant or financial advisor. They can guide you further on how to claim a refund for the deducted TDS.

Additional points to consider:

• Ensure you have a copy of the Form 15G submission acknowledgement for your records.
• Keep a record of any communication with the bank regarding the TDS deduction.

By following these steps, you should be able to resolve the issue with the bank and avoid unnecessary TDS deduction on your FD interest.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1298 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Money
Hi, my age is 29. Married. My daughter is 8 months old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.33L PM. Monthly expense - Rs. 35,000 Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 43,535 (8 months completed. 30 years tenure) Term Insurance - 1cr (Annual premium - Rs. 36,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 75,000. Investing Rs. 15,000 pm SSY - Rs. 12,500 pm. APY - Rs. 409 pm I'm planning to save for Emergency Corpus Fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 20 lakhs within 4 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughters UG education, wedding, retirement at 55 years. I took investment risk test and Im an aggressive investor and planning to invest more on equity. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class.
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach to financial planning! With your solid income and clear goals, here's a suggested plan:

Emergency Corpus Fund: Aim for 6-12 months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergencies.
Medical Insurance Floater Policy: Ensure adequate coverage for your family's healthcare needs, including your daughter.
Short-Term Goal - House Expenses: Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for potential growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Long-Term Goals - Daughter's Education, Wedding, Retirement: Continue investing in equity through mutual funds or stocks for higher returns over the long term. Also, explore options like PPF, NPS, and diversified funds for diversification across asset classes.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Remember, financial planning is dynamic. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your unique circumstances and aspirations. With discipline and strategic investing, you'll be well-positioned to achieve your financial dreams.

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |437 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Career
I completed bams a year ago. I passed 12th in 2014 and prepared for neet 2 times but couldn?t get seat because i was not serious about my career at that time. I had no clearity. I was so confused that I couldn?t focus. Even my parents and relatives were scolding me and not helping me . So I wasn?t thinking roperly focused. Then i gave bams entrance for the first time and got seat. I feel like if they wouldn have helped me or asked me what do i feel then i must not have been in the same place as am today. I feel i have ruined my life. Am currently working in delhi as a physician in a very renowned ayurvedic institute. But i feel like I don?t have passion for ayurveda. Am 26 years old. Everytime i feel like failure as I couldn?t get mbbs. Still my teenage to final year of my college i used to be so confused about my career. As now at 27 am having clearity that i want to be a cardiac surgeon, i feel like it?s too late to restart again. I feel depressed, failed and guilty. I don?t know if its a good decision to appear for neet again or not. I feel like defeated. I dont Feel happy. This time i have a lot of passion for becoming a cardiac surgeon but i am not able to decide this thing myself. I feel helpless. I feel guilty that I couldn?t clear neet exam. On the other hand there are some of my friends who never ever appeared for neet and did bams from private colleges are really happy and don?t have any complaints from this career. Why do i only feel defeated and unhappy.
Ans: Hi,
I cannot help you psychologically. But yes if you are really serious & want to restart give it a second thought that whether you will be able to give another 10 years into study. Plus NEET has become more competitive now as almost 24L+ students are writing this year. Again you won't make it there you will be more depressed. Other option would be MBBS abroad then. But still the question is will you be able to give your next 10 years into study?

...Read more

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