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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

i am going through lot of depression and anxiety. It has made me violent. i feel like killing my father . he has done 2nd marriage and has kept no assets/property for me. I am worried someday i will take law in my hand and will be behind bars or may get injured in the fight. I am 41. From last 13 years staying away from family and living on my own. Presently my health is also not well, going through lot of mental and physical illness.after thinking about the future, I think I will be on streets in future and the reason is my *b**as**rd father. Please advise how do i control my anger and depression.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Focus on what you can control and manage and in your case, it's your anger.
It is destroying you and eating away your peace of mind.

Can you change the way your father is?
Is he going to transfer his property to you?
Why should he transfer what he has earned to you?
Are you not capable of standing on your feet?
What will you get by taking law in your own hands other than have a case against your name?
What is all this anger costing you healthwise?

You know the answer to each, but this anger and disappointment within is forcing you to blame your father (even if he solely to blame), but when you can;t do anything to change, that's the time to accept, else it has begun to destroy you.

Kindly work with an expert who can help you channel your anger into something more productive and in the meantime, focus on a lot of physical activities that help displace anger. Also spend time in Nature that helps you calm the mind. And yes, seek professional help NOW!
Best wishes!

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I am 52 years handicapped with a good govt. job. I have been married for 27 years now. My son also married recently and he is in USA. I dont know where to start. Mine was arranged marriage. But my husband and his family cheated us regarding his job. He was jobless after our marriage. I had a son in the first year of our marriage. I stayed with him for only 2 months then I was send to my fathers house for delivery. He never visited me during this time nor he had called me. As he was jobless, I tried hard to build my carrier for sake of my son. I had managed all these years financially. I never received any financial support or emotional support from him past 27 years. We had fought badly accusing each. He will physically abuse me every time. He is addicted to alcohol and watching prone movies. My son once saw his mssg to call girls and other such women in his mobile. I was shocked too. Later I discovered he had many such connections. He had been spending his merger salary for all this self enjoyment and never shared anything for HL or son education. However, I had stayed with him for social security and status. Now I have completed all my duties. My son is safe and far from him. Even after my sons marriage, he behaved violently after consuming alcohol. I am really fed up with him. I have my income and properties. But I have no one to share my emotions as my son also has left and busy with his life in USA. I don't need any physical needs but need emotional support for rest of my life. I am in total depression for all I have undergone for 27 years. I currently having my father who is 80 years with me in the house. My husbands behaviour towards my father is very bad. Now my fathers health is getting affected because of my husbands shouting. I have no other friends or relations to relate to. My health also is getting slowly affected and I my mobility is very much restricted. Sometimes I was having succidal ideas. I have no life goals now. I have achieved all my goals. I have completed all my duties now. What should I do now?
Ans: Hats off to you my dear lady. You need to file for divorce and get this vile man out of your life and home once and for all. You have the means and the economic upper hand as well — consult a strong divorce lawyer and kick him to the curb! And there is life, love and companionship out there for you, so don’t give up on finding your own happiness — 52 is not old, you have a lot of years ahead with the potential to fulfill your happiness. Go for it!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, I have a very toxic environment at my house, my mother is depressed because my father is 55 years old and looks around other woman in the village, my mother warned him many times but he don't listen to my mother, actually my father is an army retired so during his job they had very little time together, and after retirement there are lots of fights between them, I think my father is such an animal that one day he asked my mother to let him sleep with her friend, so my mother's friend stopped coming in our house, and my mother is short tempered, controlling personality, she wanted to control each and every person in the house, even after my marriage my mother want to control me and my wife, she pulls out our strings , Can I change them ? Or should I leave the house and start living away from them, as I said she is very controlling personality so she will not allow us to live at some other place because she puts a society pressure on us that what people will think, actually I don't care about other people saying but she emotionally blackmail us that she has done a lot of things for me , don't leave me alone in this house like this, I don't know what could be the right step. Should I leave the house and start living on my own or there is some way by which I can change them . Please help me take decision
Ans: Navigating such a complex and toxic family environment is incredibly challenging. It's important to recognize that while you may deeply care for your parents and want to help them, changing deeply ingrained behaviors and dynamics within a family, especially those involving control and emotional manipulation, is extremely difficult. Your mother's controlling nature and your father's inappropriate behavior are significant issues that likely require professional intervention, such as therapy, which they may or may not be willing to pursue.

Given the emotional toll this environment is taking on you, it is crucial to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Establishing boundaries is key. If you and your wife are constantly subjected to a controlling and toxic atmosphere, it can severely impact your relationship and personal happiness. Moving out and living independently could provide the necessary space to foster a healthier and more peaceful life. While this decision might be met with resistance and emotional blackmail from your mother, it's important to remember that your responsibility is first to yourself and your immediate family—your wife and, if applicable, your children.

Living separately doesn't mean abandoning your parents. You can still support them from a distance, visiting regularly and offering help when needed. This arrangement can also give your mother the opportunity to address her issues with your father without involving or impacting you and your wife directly. It's about finding a balance between being there for your parents and protecting your own well-being.

Ultimately, moving out could lead to healthier relationships all around, as distance might lessen the daily tension and allow everyone to develop more respectful and less intrusive ways of interacting. This decision requires courage and clear communication. Discuss your plans with your wife, ensure you are both on the same page, and approach your parents with empathy but firmness about your need for independence. While you can't change your parents, you can change how you interact with them and set boundaries to create a healthier environment for yourself and your future family.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I hope you are doing well. I am not willing to disclose my name. I hail from a nuclear family comprising my parents and myself. I am 28. I was hesitating at first but I am suffering from severe mental agony. The cause of this is my father. My father is extremely volatile, getting aggressive and verbally violent in the smallest and most random of issues. I am an extremely peace loving person as my job as a teacher is demanding. My mother is very demure and prefers to do things hus way to maintain peace in the house. Whenever aggravated situations like this arise, and I have a debate or argument with my father, I generally keep my voice calm but hands and legs tremble and I have palpitations. I lose my semblance and become unable to place my opinions. When I see my father like this, I feel scared to the core. I start remembering the violent childhood beatings that I used to get for not able to cope with studies. I respect him but have realised that my love for him is long gone. The words that he spews verbally, add to my scar and trauma. My mother asks me to remain silent and let him calm down on his own. But the words scar me. I am increasingly becoming distant from my father. I am at a phase in life where I am earning but am not stable. Moreover I worry for my mother as I love her dearly. Can you suggest me how to cope with such a difficult situation? I am earnestly looking forward to your suggestions. Regards MR
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's little that you can do to change the dynamics of the relationship between your mother and father. Your mother chooses to be submissive and your father has also got used to being the decision maker and things work between them. So leave it at that.
Now, when it comes to you; you have a choice of going through it or doing something about it. You are 28; so what if you are not earning well...maybe stepping out of home will help you re-think and move to something better that lets you earn better as well. At times in life, strong decisions like these are life-changing and they must be made. Is this going to change the relationship between you and your father? No, it wont; but at least you have a chance at a life that you can build for yourself. It's time you grew into your own skin and at this moment if you don't do that for yourself, the rest of your life you will be playing the role of a victim and blaming your father for things not going well for you. You have a choice!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
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Money
Considering the current market conditions, I'm trying to decide whether it's wiser to invest in real estate or to continue investing in mutual funds. I already have some experience with mutual funds and have seen moderate returns, but I'm also attracted to the idea of owning a tangible asset like property, which could offer appreciation and rental income. I want to understand which option real estate or mutual funds is likely to offer better returns over the next 5 to 10 years, especially given the current economic environment, interest rates, inflation trends, and market volatility. How do factors like liquidity, maintenance, taxes, and risk compare between the two? Should I shift some of my investments into real estate for diversification, or is it more prudent to stay invested in mutual funds and possibly increase SIP contributions? I'm looking for a long-term strategy that helps with both capital growth and financial security.
Ans: Hello;

It is difficult to give an advice without knowing specifics of the case.

I would ideally recommend to include both in your portfolio but if it has to be a choice between the two, I would recommend real estate, as a general advice.

Liquidity, Maintenance, property tax are hassles and costs in real estate but asset price and monthly rentals are generally flat or headed northwards over time unless it is some odd case.

MFs holdings are highly liquid, No maintenance charges and efficient tax treatment. But it is subject to market vagaries.

Consult an investment advisor or a certified financial planner to seek more clarity and firm up your decision.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
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Career
i got 86.02 percentile in jee mains, i am under SC category from WEST BENGAL. can i get NIT DURGAPUR CSE BRANCH or any other branch
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
What are the chances to get admission for my son in NIT Trichy or Surathkal or Warangal if he gets around 149 marks in the Apr session of JEE mains 2025. We are from general category & would like to pursue for either Data Science or Electronics of Chemical Engineering. If not these institutes what are the chances for other govt institutes.
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Listen
Career
My son got 94.56 percentage in jee mains in OBC category.he passed 12th delhi school.his residency in gurugram haryana.which college he can gwt
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I've recently lost my job and I'm in the process of looking for new opportunities. While I manage my job search, I'm also facing a situation where my father is in the hospital, and I need to manage both my finances and care for him. I have some savings, but I'm unsure how to balance my financial needs with the hospital expenses and ongoing bills. How can I manage my finances in the short term while looking for a job and dealing with hospital-related costs? Should I use my emergency fund for these expenses, or should I prioritize keeping that fund intact for more severe emergencies? I'm concerned that if I use too much of my savings, I may not be able to cover my basic living expenses if the job search takes longer than expected.
Ans: I’m truly sorry to hear about your current situation. It is tough to manage job loss and a family medical emergency at the same time. You’re showing great strength by trying to plan wisely. Let us now work through this together, step by step, with a simple and balanced plan.

Let’s focus on protecting your savings, handling current bills, and preparing for the next 3–6 months with a calm approach.

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Review All Financial Resources First

• List your current savings, emergency fund, and other funds in bank accounts.

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• Note all monthly expenses like rent, groceries, bills, and hospital costs.

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• If you have any fixed deposits or investments, mark which ones can be broken easily without penalty.

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• Avoid withdrawing from long-term mutual funds unless there is no other option.

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• Create a written note of how long your money will last without any income.

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Emergency Fund: Yes, Use It – But Mindfully

• Emergency fund is made for times like this. You can use it now.

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• Use it first for medical and basic monthly needs only.

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• Avoid spending it on non-essential expenses or lifestyle extras.

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• Try to keep at least 1–2 months’ worth of expenses in reserve even now.

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• You can refill this fund later once you are employed again.

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Cut Down on Non-Essential Spending

• Pause or reduce spending on entertainment, subscriptions, and non-urgent items.

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• Avoid buying anything on EMI or credit during this phase.

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• Inform your family gently about the need to cut back temporarily.

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• Cook at home, reduce travel, and delay purchases like gadgets or clothes.

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Talk to Hospital About Payment Options

• Some hospitals allow part payments or give discounts for cash or insurance claims.

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• Ask them clearly if any help is available for people in financial stress.

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• If your father has any insurance cover, submit all bills properly.

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• If any relatives can support temporarily, accept it as a short-term help.

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Temporarily Pause Long-Term Investments

• If you have SIPs or recurring investments running, consider pausing for now.

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• Most SIPs allow you to stop for a few months without penalty.

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• It is better to pause SIPs than to take a loan or credit card advance.

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• You can restart all investments later once income restarts.

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Prioritise Monthly Essentials First

• Make a list of top priority expenses – rent, groceries, electricity, transport, medicines.

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• Pay these without delay.

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• Delay or reduce less-important expenses like personal shopping, dining out, or travel.

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• If any credit card bills are due, pay minimum amount to avoid penalty.

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Job Search: Stay Active But Calm

• Spend at least 3–4 hours daily on job search and networking.

?

• Update your resume, contact ex-colleagues, register on portals.

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• Tell friends and well-wishers that you're open to short-term freelance work too.

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• Any side income like part-time teaching, writing, or consulting will reduce pressure.

Plan For 3 Months, Then Review

• Make a plan for the next 3 months based on the funds you have now.

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• List expected income (even if zero), known expenses, and gaps.

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• Revisit your plan monthly and adjust as the situation changes.

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• Keep written records of expenses. This will help you manage better.

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Avoid Taking Personal Loans or Credit Advances

• This is not a good time to take a new loan.

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• Personal loans or credit card EMIs will add stress later.

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• Use your own cash reserves or ask for trusted family help before using credit.

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Once Job Resumes, Rebuild Step by Step

• Start rebuilding your emergency fund first.

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• Then restart your paused SIPs.

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• Set small financial goals like clearing any dues or saving for 1 month’s expenses.

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• Slowly get back to normal pace without rushing.

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Emotionally Stay Stable and Rest When Needed

• This is a tough phase but it will pass.

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• Take help from friends, counsellors or support groups if stress gets heavy.

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• Take care of your health, sleep, and food. You need energy now.

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• Talk to your child simply and gently. Kids understand more than we think.

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Finally

You’re already doing the right thing – asking for help and planning ahead.

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This phase will test your strength but also show your courage.

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Use the emergency fund wisely. Cut extra expenses.

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Pause investments, keep job search active, and stay calm.

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Even small income during this time will help manage better.

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Once the job returns, you can rebuild everything with more clarity.

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You are not alone. Take support wherever you find it.

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Your family is lucky to have you managing so carefully and wisely.

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Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I plan to buy a property in the next 3 years, either for personal use or investment. I currently save 20,000 per month and have RS 5,00,000 saved up for the down payment and related costs (registration, taxes, interiors, etc.). Given the current market conditions, should I keep my savings in low-risk options like a high-interest savings account or fixed deposits, or should I invest in mutual funds or debt funds for higher returns? How should I balance safety and growth? Also, how much should I budget for the additional costs involved in buying property? With other financial responsibilities (like a home loan EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses), how can I prioritize saving for this property while managing everything else? Lastly, should I plan for future property-related expenses like maintenance once I buy the property?
Ans: Your clarity of thought and saving habit of Rs 20,000 per month is a big strength. You already saved Rs 5,00,000 for the down payment, which is a good head start. Let’s now create a clear and simple 360-degree plan to help you buy the property while handling all other financial priorities.

Let us now understand where to park your savings, how to budget for additional costs, how to balance EMI and education, and how to plan for future property expenses.

Below is a detailed, structured, and simplified guide.

Saving for Down Payment: Safety Is Key

You plan to buy the property in 3 years. This makes your goal short-term.

So, your priority must be safety. Not return.

Return is secondary for short-term goals. Capital protection is more important.

That’s why equity mutual funds are not suitable here. They are risky in the short term.

Even debt funds are not fully safe if you are not choosing the right type.

Below are suitable options:

Keep your Rs 5,00,000 in a high-interest savings account. Choose an account from a safe and reputed private or PSU bank.

Fixed deposit with a 2–3-year horizon is also good. Prefer banks over NBFCs.

You may use a low-duration debt mutual fund or short-term debt fund. Only if you are ok with small fluctuations.

Avoid aggressive hybrid, equity savings funds or arbitrage funds. These are not ideal for 3-year goals.

Don’t invest in index funds or ETFs for short-term goals. They don’t give downside protection.

If you use debt mutual funds, understand the new tax rule. Gains will be taxed as per your income slab.

A combination of FD and short-term debt fund can give better liquidity.

If you prefer mutual funds, go for regular plans through a MFD with CFP credential. They can help you monitor the risk better.

Budgeting for Property: Include All Costs

Most buyers only plan for down payment. But that is only one part.

There are many hidden or semi-visible expenses. Please plan for them now.

Let us see what they are:

Stamp duty and registration charges. This can be 7% to 10% of property cost.

Interiors and furniture. Even basic furnishing can cost 10% of property price.

Brokerage and lawyer fees. If applicable, can go up to 1% or more.

Advance society maintenance and deposits. Usually required for new apartments.

GST on under-construction property. This is 5% without input credit.

Home insurance. One-time premium if you want to cover structure damage.

Parking space charges and clubhouse deposit. Often missed in budgeting.

Shifting and set-up costs. For appliances, curtains, installation, etc.

So please add 15% to 20% of property value as “extra costs”. Keep this buffer aside.

Your current Rs 5,00,000 may not be enough for all these. But you still have 36 months.

So, saving Rs 20,000 monthly with this goal in mind is a smart step.

Also, don’t use mutual fund SIPs for these costs. It can fluctuate when you need it.

Balancing EMI and Education While Saving for Property

Right now, you have an EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses.

You also save Rs 20,000 monthly. Let’s now look at how to balance all three.

Don’t stop your Rs 20,000 saving. This is the key to meeting your 3-year goal.

You may increase your savings by Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000, if income grows.

Use a separate bank account for this property goal. So you don’t mix other needs.

Try to prepay EMI partly once or twice a year. It reduces long-term interest burden.

If you expect large expenses for your child (school fee, coaching), plan those in advance.

Avoid taking another loan for interiors or registration. That can stretch your EMI limit.

Keep at least 3–4 months EMI as emergency reserve. Don’t touch this fund.

If possible, keep your child’s education funding in a different SIP. Don’t mix with this.

Don’t redeem long-term investments like equity mutual funds for this property. It affects future goals.

Plan for Future Property Expenses

Once you buy the house, expenses don’t stop there. Many people forget this.

These costs can affect your budget if not planned early.

Society maintenance charges. Can be Rs 2,000 to Rs 8,000 monthly depending on size and location.

Annual property tax to municipality. Must be paid every year.

Repairs and painting. Especially after 3–5 years of possession.

Appliances breakdown or upgrade. Geysers, AC, filters, etc.

Rent loss if you are not using it and it remains vacant.

Loan insurance premium if you take credit life insurance.

You may also pay for security deposit if giving on rent.

These are all recurring. So your cash flow must be ready for them.

Try to start a small SIP of Rs 2,000 to Rs 3,000 for these future expenses.

Choose a low-risk hybrid or ultra-short fund. Withdraw only when needed.

Also, keep an annual reminder to review these expenses.

How to Prioritise This Goal Among Many

When you have multiple responsibilities, planning becomes more important.

The key is to assign a specific goal to each fund.

Let us prioritise together:

Continue Rs 20,000 monthly savings only for property down payment.

Do not use emergency funds for property.

Maintain 6 months of expenses in a separate liquid fund or savings account.

Keep child education in a separate SIP or PPF. Don’t mix it with home savings.

Do not stop EMI payment or delay it. Your credit score may suffer.

Avoid loans for furniture and interiors. Save slowly and spend only what you saved.

Keep your insurance premiums paid on time. Don’t miss them.

Use bonuses or gifts to increase savings for the property goal.

Try to control lifestyle inflation during this 3-year period. It helps a lot.

What Happens If Property Price Goes Up?

There is a chance prices may rise in 3 years.

You must be prepared in two ways.

Increase monthly savings gradually every year. Even Rs 2,000 more can help.

If prices rise sharply, consider a smaller house. Don’t stretch your loan too much.

Do not compromise on education and long-term goals for a house.

Stay disciplined. Don’t rush just because prices rise. Focus on value, not fear.

Should You Buy for Investment or Use?

You are unsure if it will be for personal use or investment.

Let us clarify this point as it changes planning:

If for personal use, prioritise location, safety, commute, and nearby schools.

If for investment, do a rental yield check. Don’t expect high appreciation.

Real estate investment has hidden costs, poor liquidity, and irregular returns.

If not planning to live there for 7+ years, rethink buying. Renting may be cheaper.

Don’t buy just because others are buying. Make the decision fully based on utility.

Your priority must be comfort, not return, if it’s for staying.

Also remember property can’t be sold quickly if needed. So, plan cash needs carefully.

Don’t over-borrow. Loan EMI + child education must not cross 50% of your income.

Finally

You are thinking ahead. That is already a strong foundation.

Your saving habit, EMI discipline, and clear goal are all positive points.

By keeping your Rs 5,00,000 in low-risk instruments, and adding Rs 20,000 monthly, you are on track.

Please avoid risky products for this goal.

Also, budget for all visible and hidden property costs.

Balance EMI, education and savings with simple, consistent steps.

Keep property-related expenses and long-term goals separate.

Review your plan every 6 months.

A Certified Financial Planner can help you align all your goals peacefully.

Stay patient, stay focused, and protect your peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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