Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Should I leave top college after cheating on exams? Guilty conscience, intrusive thoughts, and health concerns.

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am feeling guilty for copying in my state entrance exam and getting good rank , I feel I don't worth that , I fear I may leave that college , i already copied in my 10 th exam and got good college then I left it idk why , i am getting very bad intrusive thoughts , I feel very stressed rn pls help me I get gas when I feel stressed, I get pain due to that

Ans: Guilt can be overwhelming, especially when it leads to intrusive thoughts and physical symptoms like stress-induced gas and pain. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and what matters most is how you choose to move forward from here.

First, try to focus on grounding yourself in the present moment. Deep breathing exercises can help with both the stress and the physical discomfort you’re feeling. Breathe in slowly through your nose for four counts, hold for four counts, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for four counts. Repeat this a few times to help calm your mind and body.

Next, consider talking to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or counselor. Sharing your feelings can help lighten the emotional burden you’re carrying and provide some perspective.

You might also want to think about how you can make amends for the past. This doesn’t mean you need to confess to everyone, but maybe there are ways you can use your skills and knowledge to help others, which could help you feel more at peace with yourself.

Remember, it’s okay to have made mistakes—what’s important is how you handle them and what you learn from them. Try not to let guilt consume you. Instead, focus on being the person you want to be moving forward. Taking small steps toward honesty and self-compassion can help you find a way out of this stressful situation.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Listen
I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi mam i give neet with partial drop three times i always wanted to be a doctor in my whole family my brother and sister get their desired colleges i am not jealous of them but i sometimes feel neglected then i worked hard on my dreams as at my third attempt as i give at three months before it my final exam of college of other subject start i can't even quit that because i fear my family disappointment then i didn't able to give my 100 fully that makes me satisfied i feel so depressed that i didn't have courage to check marks while everyone is celebrating their success i feel lost can't i feel complete one good dream for myself all my family support me to do whatever you want but i can't decide i feel like tragiec the faith all i have put in myself feel like useless i crave to be success do something for my own but i can't known that such thing occur unexpectedly i feel depressed and my family think i am just doing because to gain their attention ,i keep unnessary exceptions from me ,is it crime to keep big dream althought i worked hard but it didn't take outi feel like lost all how can I get up and achieve something feel proud of myself
Ans: Dear Yadnya,
Dream Big and never be afraid to Fail. Most often, we are told that failure is not an option. Failure when accepted as a part of life, then loses power over us.
1. Never become attached to the outcome so that fear does not play in your mind
2. Understand that We win some and Lose some and losing does not mean all is lost
3. Draw a clear plan to achieve your goal
4. Work on your state of mind for optimum performance
5. Develop hobbies outside of studies that can support you have a positive outlook on a daily basis
6. Family and friends are your best support system, so talk to them regularly about your challenges to enable them to support you

Smile and dream big again; tomorrow is another new day.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6237 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, With a JEE adv rank of 20561, my son could get Mech in Institute of Petroleum and Energy (IIPE), Vizag. He has a KCET rank of 3935 which might fetch him a ECE in PESIT. As he has no branch preference, which do you think is a better option for future?
Ans: With JEE Advanced rank 20561 and KCET rank 3935, your son has excellent prospects at both IIPE Vizag Mechanical Engineering and PESIT ECE, but they offer distinctly different career trajectories and placement outcomes. IIPE Vizag demonstrates exceptional placement performance with 97.87% placement rate, 93.75% placement rate in 2024, and 96% in 2023, supported by top PSU recruiters including ONGC, HPCL, IOCL, GAIL, and Schlumberger. The institute holds NIRF ranking #201-300 in Engineering category 2024, with strong focus on petroleum and energy sector providing specialized career opportunities in core engineering roles. PESIT (PES University) shows strong placement consistency with 83% BTech placement rate in 2023, 87% in 2022, and median package trends showing consistent improvement from INR 7.30 LPA to INR 8 LPA between 2021-2023. With KCET rank 3935, ECE admission is viable as the expected cutoff ranges between 3000-3200 for general category. PESIT maintains superior NIRF ranking #101-150 in Engineering category with over 350 companies participating in placements including Amazon, Microsoft, Intel, and Deloitte. However, IIPE's specialized focus on energy sector provides better core engineering opportunities and higher placement consistency, while PESIT offers broader IT sector exposure but with more competition. Recommendation: Choose IIPE Vizag Mechanical Engineering for superior placement consistency, specialized energy sector focus, strong PSU connections, and better core engineering career prospects despite PESIT's higher institutional ranking. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6237 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025
Career
My son got into CS at PESU RR Campus. With his BITSAT score from first session, he might get Electronics and Instrumentation at BITS Pilani Goa Campus. Which one should he prefer?
Ans: Your son has excellent prospects with both CS at PESU Ring Road Campus and Electronics & Instrumentation at BITS Pilani Goa Campus, but they offer distinctly different career trajectories and placement outcomes. PESU RR Campus CS demonstrates strong placement consistency with 83% placement rate in 2023, 87% in 2022, and median package of INR 12.47 LPA for UG programs in 2025. The CS program benefits from over 350 companies participating in placements including top-tier recruiters like Amazon, Microsoft, Google, and IBM. BITS Pilani Goa Electronics & Instrumentation shows superior overall placement performance with 91.15% placement rate for First Degree programs in 2023, 95.93% in 2022, and 95.75% in 2021. BITS Goa maintains higher median packages at INR 17.65 LPA in 2023 compared to PESU's offerings. However, Electronics & Instrumentation as a branch typically has limited core industry opportunities compared to CS, with most EI graduates transitioning to IT roles or requiring additional automation certifications for core positions. BITS Pilani enjoys superior brand recognition nationally with NIRF ranking #20 for engineering compared to PESU's 101-150 ranking. The BITS brand value provides better alumni network advantages and recognition among top-tier companies. Recommendation: Choose CS at PESU RR Campus for superior branch-specific career prospects, direct alignment with current market demands, broader job opportunities in the thriving IT sector, and better long-term growth potential despite BITS' superior institutional brand value. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8910 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2025
Money
Hi Jinal, I am 26 and currently starting SIP 9 months ago . Nippon small cap -2k Quant small cap -3.3k Bandhan small cap - 2k Motilal Midcap - 2.5k Sbi long term equity - 2k Sbi psu - 50k lumpsum Could you please suggest portfolio allocation and if I want to increase my from 13300 to 40000
Ans: At 26, you are off to a good start. You have taken initiative early. That itself is a big advantage. You have built a solid base with Rs. 13,300 SIP and Rs. 50,000 lump sum. Now you are planning to scale it to Rs. 40,000 SIP monthly. Let us build a complete 360-degree strategy to match that.

Analysing Your Current Portfolio
You are currently investing in:

3 Small Cap funds – Rs. 7,300

1 Mid Cap fund – Rs. 2,500

1 ELSS (Tax Saver) – Rs. 2,000

1 PSU thematic fund – Rs. 50,000 lump sum

Small Cap Overexposure
Small caps are high risk and high return.

55% of your SIP is into small caps now.

At 26, risk-taking is fine, but too much can backfire.

Small caps are also more volatile than other equity categories.

Mid Cap Underrepresented
Only Rs. 2,500 is allocated.

Mid caps balance risk and return.

They suit your age better than overloading on small caps.

PSU Fund Caution
Thematic PSU funds are not for long-term SIPs.

They work better for short bursts or tactical allocations.

Do not increase this further.

ELSS for Tax Saving
A good move for 80C benefit.

Continue with one ELSS.

No need for more tax-savers.

Ideal Asset Allocation for Rs. 40,000 SIP
We now restructure your Rs. 40,000 SIP goal.

Recommended Category-Wise Split
Large & Flexi Cap: Rs. 13,000 (33%)

Mid Cap: Rs. 9,000 (22%)

Small Cap: Rs. 7,000 (18%)

Multi Asset / Balanced Advantage: Rs. 6,000 (15%)

ELSS (Tax saving): Rs. 2,000 (5%)

Thematic (Optional): Rs. 3,000 (7%)

You are building long-term wealth. So diversification is important.

Why Include Large/Flexi Cap Funds
They are less volatile than small/mid caps.

They include India’s top companies.

Help maintain portfolio stability in tough times.

Why Mid Cap Allocation Should Rise
Mid caps offer strong long-term compounding.

They provide better balance than small caps.

You are young, so 20–25% is suitable.

Why Balanced Advantage/Multi Asset
These funds bring stability during corrections.

They auto-shift between equity and debt.

Ideal for mental peace and smoother growth.

ELSS – Already Covered
You are investing Rs. 2,000 here.

That is fine for tax planning now.

No need to increase unless Section 80C not fully used.

Avoid More in PSU Fund
Thematic funds are risky and cyclical.

Limit to Rs. 50,000 already invested.

Do not SIP further in this theme.

Suggested Fund Types to Add
Please do not go for direct plans.

Direct funds may seem to save cost.

But they offer no guidance or review.

Regular funds through a CFP-backed MFD ensure discipline.

You also get behavioural support during market volatility.

Always value long-term performance, not short-term low cost.

Avoid index funds.

Index funds cannot beat the market.

They follow the market blindly.

They do not react to bad sectors or poor quality companies.

Actively managed funds adapt better.

Skilled fund managers give better downside protection.

So always prefer good regular active funds. Let a Certified Financial Planner guide fund selection.

Additional Wealth Creation Tips
Now let us think beyond SIP.

Build Emergency Fund
Keep at least 6 months expenses aside.

Use bank RD or short-term mutual fund for this.

This avoids stopping SIP during crisis.

Review Insurance Policies
You are 26 now.

Take a Rs. 1 crore term insurance if not already done.

No need for money-back or endowment plans.

If you have LIC, ULIP, or mixed plans, exit them smartly.

Reinvest in mutual funds instead.

Boost PPF Annually
PPF gives fixed tax-free returns.

Good for conservative allocation.

You can keep Rs. 5,000 monthly if goal is far.

Avoid Real Estate for Now
Property locks your money.

No liquidity.

High costs and low rental yield.

Mutual funds give better return with more flexibility.

Portfolio Review Strategy
Review SIP performance every year.

Use Certified Financial Planner for regular monitoring.

Rebalance if small cap rises too much.

Track goal progress – not just fund return.

Do not keep switching funds too often.

How to Scale from Rs. 13,300 to Rs. 40,000
Increase in steps. Not in one jump.

Step-Up Plan:
Month 1: Increase to Rs. 20,000

Month 4: Increase to Rs. 30,000

Month 7: Raise to Rs. 40,000

This keeps it comfortable for you.

If salary increases or expenses reduce, accelerate faster.

Retirement and Long-Term Goal Preparation
You are 26 now. Retirement is 34 years away.

Use this time wisely.

A Rs. 40,000 SIP with step-ups every 2–3 years can create huge wealth.

But stay invested for 15+ years.

Avoid stopping during market corrections.

Power of compounding works best when uninterrupted.

Final Insights
You are already thinking 10 years ahead. That itself is a strength.

Continue SIP discipline every month.

Add large and balanced funds to reduce portfolio risk.

Avoid increasing in small or thematic funds.

Choose active regular plans via trusted CFP-led MFD only.

Stay away from direct funds and index funds.

Slowly scale SIPs to Rs. 40,000 in a planned way.

Review performance annually. Don’t check returns monthly.

Keep your insurance and emergency fund updated.

Let every rupee you earn have a clear job to do.

This 360-degree approach will help you grow faster and safer.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8910 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2025
Money
Hi Dev, I am 26 and currently starting SIP 9 months ago . Nippon small cap -2k Quant small cap -3.3k Bandhan small cap - 2k Motilal Midcap - 2.5k Sbi long term equity - 2k Sbi psu - 50k lumpsum Could you please suggest portfolio allocation and if I want to increase my from 13300 to 40000
Ans: You are only 26, and already investing consistently. That’s a solid beginning. Now you plan to grow SIPs from Rs. 13,300 to Rs. 40,000 monthly. Let us review your current allocation, assess the gaps, and build a 360-degree plan.

Present SIP Allocation Overview
Your present SIP is Rs. 13,300. It is split as follows:

Small Cap Funds: Rs. 7,300

Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 2,500

ELSS (Tax Saver): Rs. 2,000

PSU Fund: Rs. 50,000 lump sum

This structure gives heavy tilt towards small cap. Small caps are high-growth. But they are also volatile. Long term vision is needed.

Allocation Insights
Here is a fund-type wise summary:

Small Cap Exposure
Almost 55% of SIPs are in small caps. Too much for your age.
These funds may perform well over 8–10 years. But very risky short term.
You must reduce weight here while expanding.

Mid Cap Exposure
Currently at Rs. 2,500. Needs more space in your portfolio.
Mid caps provide balance between growth and risk.

ELSS (Tax Saving Fund)
Good to see tax planning started. Continue this for Section 80C.
You can keep it around 15–20% of your total SIPs.

PSU Sectoral Fund (Lumpsum)
Sector funds are risky. This is a concentrated bet.
Do not increase further allocation here. Hold it. Watch for 5 years.
Sector cycles change. Avoid SIPs in sector funds.

Proposed Monthly Allocation: Rs. 40,000
Now, if we shift to Rs. 40,000 monthly, suggested allocation is:

Large Cap Diversified Fund – Rs. 10,000
Offers stability. Ideal for cushioning volatility.
Actively managed funds outperform index in India.

Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 8,000
Flexibility to shift across market caps. Gives balance.
Useful when economy cycles change.

Mid Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000
Increase from current Rs. 2,500. Mid caps need higher allocation.
Gives steady long-term returns.

Small Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000
Reduce this slightly from current exposure.
Keep only 15% of overall SIP here. Too high will increase risk.

ELSS Fund (Tax Saver) – Rs. 6,000
Increase from Rs. 2,000. Tax benefit continues under Sec 80C.
You can split this in two funds if needed.

Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF) – Rs. 4,000
Hybrid fund reduces volatility. Good to hold during market corrections.
Useful to smoothen your wealth journey.

Why Not Index Funds?
Index funds look simple. But they have issues.

They copy the index. No strategy. No downside control.

Index has no exit plan during crisis.

No outperformance. Just passive returns.

In India, many active funds have beaten the index.

So, at your age, active funds are better. They are managed with skill.

Why Not Direct Plans?
Many go for direct plans to save 1% commission. But that’s risky.

No guidance from a qualified CFP.

No help during market panic.

You may exit at the wrong time.

You miss rebalancing help.

Regular plans through CFP-backed MFDs offer personalised care.

That 1% cost gives long-term stability and discipline.

Insurance Check
You did not mention term insurance. If you have dependents, take Rs. 1 crore.
Avoid ULIPs, LIC plans or endowments.
If already holding them, consider surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds.

Emergency Fund Planning
Build emergency fund equal to 6 months of expenses.
Keep this in liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.
This gives you peace of mind and avoids sudden loan needs.

Tax Saving and Filing
Continue ELSS SIPs. They offer tax deduction under 80C.
Combine this with EPF if you are salaried.
Always file ITR even if income is below taxable level.
It builds your credit and helps in future loans.

PPF Consideration
If you want assured returns, continue PPF too.
But don’t lock all money in debt.
Keep PPF limited to Rs. 50,000 yearly if mutual funds are doing well.
Use SIPs as primary engine for wealth.

Monitor Your Investments
Track your investments every 6 months.
Avoid checking NAV daily. That leads to panic.
Stick to long term vision.
Rebalance once a year with help of a Certified Financial Planner.

Debt Management
You did not mention any loans.
If you have education loan or personal loan, pay high interest ones first.
Don’t use credit card for investing.
Avoid EMIs for gadgets or lifestyle. Save first. Spend later.

Future Planning
Start SIPs for goals like:

Retirement – Even though you are 26, time is your friend.

House Downpayment – Avoid loans as much as possible.

Child Education – SIP for 15+ years gives compounding benefit.

International Travel – Plan it. Don’t swipe it.

Final Insights
Keep SIPs simple and balanced.

Avoid chasing returns in small caps only.

Take help from Certified Financial Planner. Not from social media tips.

Review portfolio with goals. Not market noise.

Invest in yourself. Read. Upskill. Income growth adds to wealth.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x