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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 10, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Sharada Question by Sharada on Oct 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I feel lonely and sad everytime i focus to study or do something but if i just sit still and think even that is bothering me. I feel like everybody are fine even without me and that's true coz nobody really cares and thinks that i am even present they just make me feel as if i am invisible.

Ans: Dear Sharada,
Focus happens when something is interesting and again Focus happens when there is an interesting outcome attached to the activity.
If you have distractions, check with yourself what exactly are you not interested in or what thoughts are you allowing to get in between!
Your feeling that people are fine without you and nobody really cares is all an assumption based on certain things not going your way or certain things not happening the way that you want. Family and close friends obviously care and love; it's just that you can't see it or feel it...
So, the next time when you get this thought: ask: Is it true that no one cares about me? No one? Challenge these not useful thoughts, so that you let your brain move towards positive thoughts...
And no one is invisible; even a tiny ant...it's about how you allow yourself to be confident and have the strength to be yourself.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2021

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Relationship
I lost my father when I was 17 and was raised by my mother all these years. Last year, I lost my mother to COVID. I am the only child and don't have any siblings. I am 36 and not married. I don't have a boyfriend, neither am I in a serious relationship. After my parents' death, am being pressured into marriage by my relatives but I am not ready. I am in touch with a few cousins and friends but I don't feel any better talking to them. I may be wrong but I feel that they're either too sympathetic or trying too hard to be positive and cheerful. It's hard to explain to anyone how I am feeling right now. There are days when I feel completely alone, lonely and wish I had a sibling or someone who would understand me without having to explain anything. My colleagues are supportive but I am not able to focus at work either. I tried taking a few days off but there is a void and sense of loneliness that I am unable to overcome. I don't know how to make sense of this situation. Can you help?
Ans: Dear P, how exactly do you want to feel? What exactly do you want currently? It is imperative for you to know that we all go through phases in life; some are happy ones and some are not-so-happy ones.

But do know that, these phases are not permanent and that they do have an expiry date on them.

The key to this is with you. How long do you want to lock in that feeling of loneliness or helplessness?

Does it help you to think whether your relatives are sympathising with you? What if they really are caring for you?

Sibling or no sibling, our life is ours and a journey that we must take. And marriage is a decision that is yours to make; you don’t need to yield into any pressure or get yourself to believe that it will drive away your loneliness.

What did you do earlier to move away from loneliness?

How did you keep yourself occupied? Was it a new hobby or could it have been learning a new skill?

Sometimes, doing something absolutely NEW can help de-focus from what we are dealing with currently.

On a long-term thinking, do know that every phase gives rise to a new one.

Join support groups online or any valid meet up group that can bring in some fresh new perspectives.

Connect with old friends. Choose how you want to feel now and move in that direction.

Surround yourself only with happy people and happy thoughts all the time. It does help.

Office colleagues can double up as a good support group, if you are fine sharing your inner feelings with someone that you are close to.

If that isn’t an option, then old friends can do the job really well. But it is important to talk to someone and release what’s holding you back and keeping you away from what you want to feel and what you want to do. All the best.

..Read more

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Janak

Janak Patel  |41 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on May 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 15, 2025
Money
I am 36 years old, earning around 1.6 lakhs per month, I have car loan for 7 years and paying 25000 per month, I bought a land property 3 years back and its current evaluation is 35 lakhs, I have a ulip plan of 2lakhs per years and the premium was for 7 years ( completed) and holding period is 3years, total fund accumulated is 22 lakhs. I have a liquid reserve of 20 lakhs. Can u tell me if I have to accumulate 8 crore at the age of 60 , what should I do?
Ans: Hi,

Lets look at your investments and see what you will be able to achieve at the age of 60.

ULIP - This is a insurance + investment product and as you have completed your premium term of 7 years you should be able to access this amount (now or 3 years later). It may seem to be a good product but I believe on both Insurance and Investments there are better products. First the insurance cover is not substantial and the charges are quite high. They will manage to invest the amount just like a Mutual fund. Its better to split insurance and investment. If you are looking at this amount like an investment, then the amount of 22 lakhs is available as a starting point, over the next 24 years if invested at 12% rate (typical returns in Mutual Funds), you will be able to accumulate 3.33 crores. You can buy a term life cover of a high value (much higher than the ULIP cover), for a very low premium and you should definitely get that and com out of the ULIP.

Savings of 20 lakhs - I suggest you keep about 10 lakhs aside in some FDs as your emergency fund - to be used only for any unexpected/emergency situation. This will grow to 40 lakhs at 6% over the next 24 years.
The remaining 10 lakhs should be invested in Mutual funds and at a 12% returns after 24 years this will accumulate into an amount of 1.51 crores.

Thus you can accumulate approx. 5.25 crores with these 2 amounts invested as above for the next 24 years.

To achieve 8 crores, you need to accumulate another 2.75 crores. If you invest 16500 monthly into similar investment (Mutual fund SIP) and assuming same return of 12%, you can accumulate this amount.

In this process we have not considered the land property you have, as its difficult to calculate its value without knowing its location and usage/type. So you can get some estimate for it in future then you can accordingly reduce the monthly SIP requirement.

Mutual Funds are a good investment option when you consider its long term benefits - as its managed by professionals. Its important to construct a good MF portfolio and with time of your side, you should be able to achieve your goal comfortably.

Consult a fee based Certified Financial Planner/Financial advisor who can help and guide you for this.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

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