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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
P Question by P on May 18, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I lost my father when I was 17 and was raised by my mother all these years.

Last year, I lost my mother to COVID. I am the only child and don't have any siblings.

I am 36 and not married. I don't have a boyfriend, neither am I in a serious relationship.

After my parents' death, am being pressured into marriage by my relatives but I am not ready.

I am in touch with a few cousins and friends but I don't feel any better talking to them. I may be wrong but I feel that they're either too sympathetic or trying too hard to be positive and cheerful.

It's hard to explain to anyone how I am feeling right now.

There are days when I feel completely alone, lonely and wish I had a sibling or someone who would understand me without having to explain anything. My colleagues are supportive but I am not able to focus at work either.

I tried taking a few days off but there is a void and sense of loneliness that I am unable to overcome. I don't know how to make sense of this situation. Can you help?

Ans: Dear P, how exactly do you want to feel? What exactly do you want currently? It is imperative for you to know that we all go through phases in life; some are happy ones and some are not-so-happy ones.

But do know that, these phases are not permanent and that they do have an expiry date on them.

The key to this is with you. How long do you want to lock in that feeling of loneliness or helplessness?

Does it help you to think whether your relatives are sympathising with you? What if they really are caring for you?

Sibling or no sibling, our life is ours and a journey that we must take. And marriage is a decision that is yours to make; you don’t need to yield into any pressure or get yourself to believe that it will drive away your loneliness.

What did you do earlier to move away from loneliness?

How did you keep yourself occupied? Was it a new hobby or could it have been learning a new skill?

Sometimes, doing something absolutely NEW can help de-focus from what we are dealing with currently.

On a long-term thinking, do know that every phase gives rise to a new one.

Join support groups online or any valid meet up group that can bring in some fresh new perspectives.

Connect with old friends. Choose how you want to feel now and move in that direction.

Surround yourself only with happy people and happy thoughts all the time. It does help.

Office colleagues can double up as a good support group, if you are fine sharing your inner feelings with someone that you are close to.

If that isn’t an option, then old friends can do the job really well. But it is important to talk to someone and release what’s holding you back and keeping you away from what you want to feel and what you want to do. All the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 year old married woman. I was attached to my father very much. I lost him suddenly in 2021 by covid. He was fit and fine. I never thought he could left us like this. I feel very lonely , empty & completely of no desire for anything in life. I feel guilty and bad that the way my father struggled alone in ICU ward in his final days & we could not do anything for him. No one could met him & even saw him. I could not hugged him & even touched his body to say to goodbye in crematorium. Life got completely changed for me now. I am doing a job in which I working for very long time but not getting noticed or promoted so I feel sidelined by my seniors. I feel no use to work there or even anywhere now. I feel mentally I am tired to handle any pressure now. I am thinking to quit it to get some mental peace but not sure what I will do in free time. I have few marriage issues also & don't have any kids. I want to spend time alone & not even with my husband. Now I just want to live my life peacefully & happily without expecting anything from anyone. Tell me if I am correct or need to improve my way of thinking.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly very sorry for your loss. It might have been very difficult at not having that closure right at the end to process your loss your way. I can only imagine what you must be going through even now.

This heavy heartedness has most likely caused you to lose interest in many things in life including your work life. Even things that were simple to handle might have become too much to deal with. You need to heal by grieving and slowly going into acceptance. Is this hard? Oh yes, but with the help of someone who specializes in grief counselling and therapy, you can heal through this. This doesn't mean that you have to forget your father; it only means you process what has happened to transition into a better mind space. This will help you get a grip over your life for what it is now and like all of us, you deserve to be happy and at peace. Do consider this option and see an expert; it will really help you...

All the best and do know that this too shall Pass!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 53 years old male, lost my loving wife last year who was 46, I do have 2 kids who are into higher studies now aged 22 and 18, off late have been feeling very lonely and upset and have not been able to forget my late wife, life seems to be too useless now. Many a times i think of having a new partner for the rest of my life then these feelings also die down. Am quiet worried as to how I will be able to live second half of my life as sooner or later the children will be busy in their own lives, what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
The journey of grief is so different for each person and you can feel alright on one day and devastated on another day...Give your self ample time to grieve and speak about her; it will be painful but the more you allow yourself to speak about her, you will notice that you are closer to accepting the fact of your loss...it is a journey, so do take your time...
But in the meantime, do make sure that you do take help in the form of a support system of your family and friends. Yes, they do have their own lives but I am sure that they will step in kindly when it is required.
Also, you might find that you socially isolate yourself and move away from everything that used to give you joy. You must find a way of getting back to all of those things reminding yourself that you must live your life too...this is initially a way of filling the vacuum, but soon you will find that it does more that just distract you.

Finding another life partner is a decision that is yours to make; but I will suggest that you heal from the loss and then if and when you feel the time is right, you may seek a life partner. But right now, all you will do is find a huge respite to fill in your loneliness and not be able to form a connection with that person. So, take care of yourself first, heal well and then slowly make life-altering decisions.

All the best...I am sure you can do this!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship
After corona, when everything shut down and I came home, I started struggling with frustration and anger issues. Earlier, my father handled my marriage discussions, and I would reject proposals because at 24 I did not want to get married. But then my father passed away during corona, and suddenly I became the eldest in the house with all responsibilities. I shifted with my mom and younger sister to a new city. Life became different good in some ways, but also suffocating. I do not feel freedom anymore and have frequent quarrels with my mom because I feel she never takes my side. For the last 5 years, I have been searching for a partner through matrimony sites and dating apps, but only faced disappointment. Recently I was in a relationship with a man who I later found out was already married and living with another woman. This was heartbreaking and humiliating, and even his livein partner contacted me to tell the full truth. I feel betrayed and foolish. Now I keep thinking about how badly he treated me, and I cannot stop talking about it. My family gets tired of listening, and they ask me to move on, but I cannot. I feel like nobody understands how deeply it hurts me. Being the eldest, I always feel the weight of responsibility and sacrifice, but never freedom or support. I am 32 now, frustrated with the marriage search, dating apps, and family issues. All my friends are settled, and I have no one to hang out with. I really want to get married and start my married life, but I feel stuck, angry, and hopeless. How can I deal with my anger and loneliness? How do I stop ending up with the wrong people? How can I move forward towards marriage and a happy life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Corona is long gone and it's time for you to move out and be by yourself. This will help you take charge of your life without intermingling too much with family; they need their space as well. Treat your family as your support system and not a punching bag; that will only infuse more negativity and land back on you.
Take on a new project, learn a new skill, join a social group...this new approach will take your focus off of the dating scene for a while and will help you reevaluate your choices towards a life partner. At least you will move from helplessness to a more useful place which will enable you think better about your life and life choices.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2026

Money
I'm 43 years old, a govt.employee ,want to invest Rs 20000/ which plan will be better
Ans: Your thought to invest Rs 20,000 every month at age 43 is very good. Many people delay investing, but you are taking action. As a government employee, you already have some stability in income and retirement benefits. So this monthly investment can become a strong wealth builder for your future goals.

Below is a simple and balanced way to think about it.

» Understand Your Investment Objective

Before choosing any plan, it is important to think about what this money is meant for.

– Retirement corpus building
– Children’s education or marriage
– Wealth creation for long-term security
– Financial independence after retirement

Since you are 43 years old, your investment horizon can still be 12–17 years comfortably. That is enough time for growth-oriented investments to work well.

» Why Monthly Investing Is a Good Strategy

Investing Rs 20,000 every month through a disciplined method is very powerful.

– It creates a habit of investing regularly
– It reduces risk of investing at the wrong time
– It allows you to accumulate more units when markets fall
– Over long periods, compounding works strongly

This approach is especially suitable for salaried people like government employees.

» Balanced Allocation for Rs 20,000 Monthly Investment

Instead of putting the full amount in one place, spreading it across different asset types helps reduce risk and improve stability.

A simple structure could be:

– Rs 12,000 in actively managed diversified equity mutual funds
– Rs 5,000 in a hybrid or balanced mutual fund
– Rs 3,000 in a short duration or conservative debt mutual fund

This combination creates both growth and stability.

Equity funds help in wealth creation over long periods. Debt-oriented funds provide balance and reduce volatility. Hybrid funds combine both.

» Why Actively Managed Mutual Funds Can Be Useful

Actively managed funds are handled by experienced fund managers who study companies and market trends.

Benefits include:

– Professional research and stock selection
– Flexibility to adjust portfolio when market conditions change
– Opportunity to generate better returns through active decisions

For investors who want expert management and structured investment discipline, these funds can be very useful.

» Importance of Investing Through Regular Plans

Investing through regular mutual fund plans via a Mutual Fund Distributor who works with a Certified Financial Planner provides important advantages.

– Continuous guidance during market ups and downs
– Help in rebalancing investments when required
– Support during goal planning and review
– Emotional discipline during market corrections

Many investors make mistakes when they invest without guidance. Proper advice and periodic review improve long-term results.

» Risk Management and Safety

Even though equity mutual funds can fluctuate in the short term, long-term investing reduces this risk significantly.

Some important practices:

– Stay invested during market corrections
– Review the portfolio once a year
– Increase the SIP amount when income increases
– Avoid frequent switching between funds

Patience and discipline create the real wealth.

» Tax Awareness

When you sell equity mutual funds:

– Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short-term gains are taxed at 20%

This makes long-term holding more efficient from a tax point of view.

» Finally

Your decision to invest Rs 20,000 monthly at age 43 is a strong financial step. With around 15 years of disciplined investing, this amount can grow into a meaningful corpus for your future.

A balanced combination of equity-oriented mutual funds, hybrid funds and some debt exposure can give growth with stability. Periodic review with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure the portfolio stays aligned with your life goals.

Consistency matters more than timing. Continue the investment even when markets move up or down.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6855 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2026

Career
Pleasee help me I given class12 2025 but fail in maths then I given again as private class12 in 2026 but I not given one paper properly so I will fail and i absent in other exam as I was depressed and burnout but now I really want to check jee advance in 2027 pleasee tell me as I had register for nios stream 1 2026 october as fresher so am I eligible for jee advance and BITSAT in 2027. I am preparing for jee mains I am sure if I study well I can get 99.95 % but if you tell me I am ellagable for jee advance and BITSAT 2027 I give less Focus to jee mains and give jee advance pleasee tell true answer don,t guess pleaseee help me
Ans: (1) You are NOT eligible for JEE (Adv) 2027

(2) You WILL be eligible for BITSAT 2027 if you pass Class 12 (PCM) in 2026 through NIOS, because BITSAT allows current year and one previous year pass students.

Practical Advice- Instead of thinking about JEE (Adv), try to score more in the mains and your state-level engineering entrance examinations.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam
Asked on - Mar 15, 2026 | Answered on Mar 15, 2026
Thank you sir
Ans: Welcome. If satisfied, pl follow me.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am 61, minimalist with no bad habits in the life style of NO PILL; NO ILL. Now, the market is down and NAV falls down. my investments are comfortably positive even in the negative market. becuase the investment started very early and unis purchased at very low price. Now, the question is should I withdraw the funds; a portion of profit and invest in the downward trend so that I will get more units and i will not loose the capital because I am planning to withdraw only the portion of the profits. Please guide me should I need to reshuffle by withdrawing and re investing ..!!
Ans: Your disciplined lifestyle and long investing journey are truly inspiring. Starting early and holding investments patiently has created a comfortable cushion for you. Even when the market is falling, your portfolio remains positive. That itself shows the power of long-term investing.

Now your question is about withdrawing profit and reinvesting during the market fall. Let us examine this carefully.

» Understanding What You Are Trying To Do

Your idea is:

– Withdraw only the profit portion
– Reinvest when NAV is lower
– Get more units
– Protect original capital

This approach looks logical on the surface. But in practice it becomes very difficult to execute consistently.

» The Challenge of Timing the Market

To succeed in this strategy two things must happen correctly.

– You must sell at the right time
– You must reinvest at the correct lower level

Predicting market movement precisely is extremely difficult. Even experienced investors struggle with this.

If markets suddenly recover after you redeem, you may lose the opportunity of further growth.

» Impact of Taxes on Withdrawal

Whenever you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short term capital gains are taxed at 20%

So withdrawing profit may trigger tax liability. This reduces the benefit of trying to buy more units.

Frequent reshuffling can quietly reduce long-term wealth.

» Your Age and Investment Objective

At 61, your goal should shift slightly.

Earlier the focus was:

– Maximum growth

Now the focus should be:

– Capital protection
– Controlled growth
– Income stability

So instead of frequent buying and selling, gradual portfolio balance is more suitable.

» A Better Approach for Your Situation

Rather than timing the market, consider this approach:

– Keep the core long-term equity investments untouched
– If equity allocation has grown very large, slowly shift small portion into safer assets
– Continue enjoying compounding from existing units purchased at low prices

This maintains growth while protecting accumulated wealth.

» Systematic Withdrawal Planning

If you need regular income later:

– You can withdraw small amounts periodically
– This reduces market timing risk
– Portfolio continues to grow while providing income

This is usually more comfortable for retired investors.

» Emotional Discipline

Your biggest strength so far has been patience.

The temptation to reshuffle during market movements often disturbs long-term success.

Many investors lose wealth not because of bad investments but because of unnecessary switching.

» Finally

Since your investments were made early and units were bought at very low prices, the best strategy is usually to stay invested and allow compounding to continue.

Avoid frequent profit booking and reinvestment based on market movements.

Instead:

– Maintain a balanced asset allocation
– Protect capital gradually
– Allow long-term equity investments to keep growing

Your disciplined journey has already created strong financial security. Preserving that strength is now more important than trying to capture short-term opportunities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am a retired doctor with 1lac pension kindly suggest to invest 30000per month
Ans: Your disciplined habit of investing even after retirement is very encouraging. With a pension of Rs 1 lakh per month, planning to invest Rs 30,000 shows that you are thinking about preserving and growing your wealth in a structured manner.

At this stage of life, the focus should be balanced between safety, regular growth, and liquidity.

» Understanding Your Financial Stage

You are a retired professional receiving steady pension income.

This means:

– Your regular expenses are already supported
– Investment goal is wealth preservation and moderate growth
– Liquidity for health and family needs is important

So the investment approach should be balanced and not aggressive.

» Emergency and Medical Reserve

Before starting monthly investment, ensure:

– At least 12 months of expenses kept in safe liquid instruments
– Adequate health insurance coverage

Medical expenses increase with age. Having a dedicated medical reserve prevents disturbance to investments.

» Balanced Investment Approach

For a retired person, full equity exposure is not suitable. But avoiding equity completely also reduces growth.

A balanced structure is ideal.

For the Rs 30,000 monthly investment:

– Around Rs 15,000 in actively managed diversified equity mutual funds
– Around Rs 10,000 in short duration or conservative debt mutual funds
– Around Rs 5,000 in gold allocation for diversification

This structure provides growth with stability.

» Importance of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed mutual funds are suitable because:

– Fund managers actively select strong companies
– They adjust portfolio when market conditions change
– Aim to generate better returns than the market

This professional management helps investors who prefer not to monitor markets regularly.

» Investment Horizon and Liquidity

Even after retirement, investments can continue for 10 to 15 years.

So:

– Continue SIP regularly
– Review portfolio once every year
– Keep sufficient liquidity for emergencies

Avoid locking large amounts into instruments with long lock-in periods.

» Tax Awareness

If you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Planning withdrawals carefully can reduce tax impact.

» Finally

Your plan to invest Rs 30,000 monthly is a strong step toward maintaining financial independence.

A balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and gold can help:

– Preserve your wealth
– Provide moderate growth
– Maintain liquidity for future needs

Regular review with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure that your investments remain aligned with your lifestyle and health needs during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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