I feel very disgusted to tell you that... I (17y female) was sitting with my mom and my cousin (28y male) was also there. My cousin was sitting besides me and after a while my mom left the house for about 10 minutes for some work. I felt sleepy so I slept on the bed itself. My cousin was still sitting besides me when I slept. After a while I woke up to a very bad feeling. My cousin was groping my butt from behind . I froze as I woke up.my whole body didn't respond at all. I was in shock . He kept touching me for a while. I don't know how I slept in that freezing position. But when I woke up my body was still in shock and he was still besides me. At first I thought it must be dream . But it was surely not a dream. I have noticed he always stares at my body and keeps finding ways to touch me. This all happened and I didn't tell anyone. It has been 3 months and I still can't get over it. I cannot even tell my parents as they will not believe me and it will cause lots of ups and downs if my parents overreact. I really don't know what to do. I feel disgusting.

Dear J.A.R,

It must be shocking and what you displayed was Freeze response.

Creeps like these are lurking around every corner and till we call them out, they are going to commit more serious offenses that what you have experienced.

So, the next time, scream at the creep and make a scene if you have to.

At least, you will have moved on from the victim mode to someone who can take care of herself. Well, this is for what can be done the next time!

Now, let’s deal with what your mind is doing to you.

In what way are you dirty for a trick played on you by a dirty man?

Isn’t he the one who should be feeling dirty instead? Why are you playing his side of the role and keeping yourself from good relationships that are coming your way?

To change this story in your mind, I suggest that you imagine the dirty man seated next to you, him groping you and NOW change the way you want to respond to it.

This time ACT EMPOWERED. Like you are yelling at him, calling out to co-passengers, punching him or whatever that you wished you could have done.

Play this in your mind over and over again.

I do understand that replaying what he did to you can get in the way of this process; but do know that you cannot change the past, but you can surely empower your present and the future. So, do it and do this NOW!

This will give you a chance to rewrite the stories about the relationships that you are about to have.

Also, this will enable you to have a better grip over physical intimacy that is definitely a product of the way the mind processes the event. So, work at this and gift yourself the chance to live free!

Best wishes!