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My LDR & Career Goals Clash: Must I Choose?

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Dr. Upneet, I am writing to you with a heavy heart. I've been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend Rohit for two years, and recently, things have been quite challenging. We both have strong career ambitions, and since we work in different cities, it's becoming more difficult to find common ground. We barely get time to talk, and when we do, the topic of where we might eventually settle down always leads to disagreement. I am truly in love with him, and the thought of not having him in my life seems unbearable. But at the same time, our futures seem to be heading in different directions. How can I find a balance between my career and relationship? Should I prioritise one over the other, or is there a way to maintain both without losing myself or the relationship? I really hope you can guide me through this confusing phase.

Ans: Hello mam, I understand that these days career is very important aspect of life. And now a days some people do prioritise career over relationship which is not completely wrong. If you are committed to Rohit and you feel that life would be incomplete without him, then just take a break and go to the place where he lives. Spend some quality time with him and try to talk to him. If he is better settled there and can't move, you may consider moving to his place and find a job, or talk about transfer or work from home.
Look, this is a critical step, and should be taken without ego. U should not think that i have to shift or i have to compromise, one compromise and you ll get love of your life. I hope it will solve your problem.
Plz do share with me your further plan.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |185 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
we are in 2 yrs of long distance relationship 1yr normal relation now we live in different states and we both study in college now but we know our future job location will remains same even i (girl) having IT job which does not have much scope in state where boy lives and he is doing mbbs even he dont want to switch location becos he want to take care of his parents and even his parents are strict and bhramin family . he is telling me to settle in his place that i dont want to as there os no job scope for me there. Please tell me what should we do what the boy or girl should do to make it work? we really want to make it work.
Ans: The words that you have used 'parents are strict' is an area of concern - what is the reason for being strict? Secondly he is concerned about his parents, wishes to be for them which is fantastic, hope you have had a discussion with him that you will also be there for your parents as and when they need you. Now lets talk about how you can make it work....there are solutions if you wish to make things work, most times 2 people decide and many a times one needs to give in to the other....Sharing suggestions on what can be thought about given there is limited information (1) look at a long distance relationship with both pursuing your career, yes many relationships work this way...but it needs maturity from both sides (2) You look for a remote job (3) You look at starting something of your own, consider self employment - wishing you the best.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
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Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

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Relationship
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 2018. We’ve always been deeply connected, staying in constant touch through calls and quick replies. Now, he is 31 years old and wants to marry me, but I am not ready yet. I recently got a job with a 7.5 LPA income and need to focus on building my career. My family disapproves of him because he has been preparing for government exams for the last six years and only earns ?15k/month. He also has a very closed mindset and is extremely insecure, constantly worrying that I will leave him one day. One of my biggest concerns is that he’s unwilling to adjust to my work location. After marriage, he plans to stay behind and continue private tuition instead of being with me. These differences have led to frequent conflicts, and it’s becoming emotionally exhausting for me to manage. While I care deeply for him, I feel stuck between my career ambitions, my family’s disapproval, and his expectations. I’m struggling to make him understand my situation, and I don’t know how to move forward.
Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Relationship
Hi Anu I am a married woman with a very supportive husband and daughter. For last 10 years I am having an affair with a colleague and things are pretty well between us. Both of us have found the comfort and requisite from each other which we missed in married life and it saved our respective marriage though none of our family are aware of it. We balanced this till now effectively. Recently I got an opportunity within the company which is very lucrative and will enhance my career goals altogether however, for this I have to shift to another state. Now , my bf is very upset on this as it means he will not be able to meet me as we do every day. My husband and Daughter is fine with my shifting however my parents who are old are also apprehensive since I am the only child and do take care of them. My husband has assured to support them in absence of me and I have full confidence on him. All throughout my life I have focused on my professional career and have worked towards that and now when I got this opportunity I am emotionally unstable and unable to take the decision. My dilemma is surrounding various aspects. 1- Don’t want to leave my BF as he is my strength. 2- My parents are old and since I being the only child,they ae 3- If I could not perform in the new role then? 4- The daily hardship that I have to take over in a new place as my husband will not shift. 5- Remuneration wise not as such however if you say power then yes. Learning – knowledge enhancement and career upliftment - yes very much. 6- Current role will not grow much however stability as of now do exists. Can you help me to take the decision ?
Ans: Dear Nibedita,
What is important to you and what helps you grow professionally and personally must be looked at? Constraints are always going to play a role BUT working around it may help you make a decision. If professionally you are going to grow into the role and for this you need to work around things for the time being, then you must do just that. But in all this, do factor that you have a daughter who is still young and will need your presence a lot; physically and emotionally.
Now, how you work this with your BF is something that is between the two of you; but it's not power or money BUT how you grow in your new role.
Also, talk to your family and come to an arrangement whereby they also become your pillar of strength and support. You will then be able to come to a viable decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Im from Bangalore, I work in IT My monthly in hand salary post deductions 1.09L, Ive a kid who is 3 years old and my wife is home maker. I would like to known if my apporach of savings/investements to be changed little bit to maximize savings and accumulate amount for my kid higher education and house purchasing. My monthly expenses and savings as below Rent: 12k House hold exp:15k My savings: SIP Mutual funds: im doing it both on my name as well as my wife name, On My name: monthly 14k( accumulated so far 3.18L) On My wife name: Monthly 6k( Accumualated sonfar 68k) Ive stocks investments of about 2.30lakhs I do RD of 20k Ive cheeti every month 20k( will be completed in 2 months and i get 4 lakhs) Sukanya samridhi yogana: 3.5k( so far accumulated 75k) Ive emergency fund of 3lakhs And everymonth I save 8k in liquid fund for my child school fees i use this accumulated amount for every next year school fees 4k every month savings for LIC Jeevan labh 936 And 6k in gold and 2k in silver I know gold and silver are voltalie considering recent returns im doing SIP of 8k both gold and silver. Ive term insurance for 1cr Health insurance company sponsored 10lakhs. My goal is to buy a house in 2 years atleast to make down payment of 15l and rest to go for loan And my child higher education after 12th to save how do i plan my investements and I wanted to make sure to continue the SIP which im doing now.
Ans: Your financial discipline is very impressive. With a monthly income of Rs 1.09 lakh, you have already built a strong system of savings. Supporting a family with a young child while still investing regularly shows very good financial maturity.

Let us review and fine tune your structure so your goals become easier to achieve.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Structure

Your current monthly pattern roughly shows:

– Household expenses around Rs 27k
– Mutual fund SIP around Rs 20k
– Recurring deposit Rs 20k
– Chit fund Rs 20k (ending soon)
– Gold and silver SIP Rs 8k
– LIC premium Rs 4k
– Sukanya Samriddhi Rs 3.5k
– School fee saving Rs 8k

You are saving a very healthy portion of your income. This is a very strong foundation.

But your money is spread across too many instruments.

Simplifying your structure will improve growth.

» Emergency Fund Review

You already have Rs 3 lakhs emergency fund.

This is a good cushion.

– Maintain this in safe liquid instruments
– Do not use it for investments or house purchase
– This protects your family during job or health uncertainty

This part is already well managed.

» House Down Payment Goal (Next 2 Years)

You want to arrange Rs 15 lakhs in 2 years.

Equity mutual funds are not suitable for such a short goal because market volatility can disturb the amount.

So the correct approach is:

– Use the Rs 4 lakh chit amount when received
– Continue the recurring deposit
– Add part of monthly savings into safe short-term instruments

This will help you accumulate the down payment safely.

Avoid depending on stock market returns for a 2-year goal.

» Child Higher Education Planning

Your child is 3 years old. You still have 14 to 15 years.

This is a very good long-term horizon.

Your mutual fund SIP strategy is correct.

Continue investing in actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select strong companies
– Portfolio can adjust during market changes
– Aim to generate higher return than the market

For long goals like education, equity funds are powerful due to compounding.

Continue SIPs in both your name and your wife's name.

Gradually increase SIP whenever your salary increases.

» Review of Gold and Silver Investments

You are currently investing Rs 8k monthly in gold and silver.

Precious metals are useful for diversification but they should not dominate the portfolio.

– Keep allocation around 5% to 10% of total investments
– Do not increase beyond this level

Too much allocation in metals can reduce long-term wealth creation.

Gradually redirect part of this amount to equity funds.

» LIC Policy Review

You mentioned a policy with premium around Rs 4k per month.

Many investment-cum-insurance policies give limited return compared to mutual funds.

If this policy is mainly for investment purpose and not protection:

– Review surrender value
– Consider stopping and redirecting future money to mutual funds

Pure term insurance already protects your family.

Your Rs 1 crore term cover is a good decision.

» Health Insurance Planning

Currently you have company health cover of Rs 10 lakhs.

This is good but it is linked to your job.

So consider an additional personal family health insurance.

This ensures protection even if you change jobs.

Medical inflation in India is rising quickly.

» Managing Too Many Investment Buckets

Right now you have:

– Mutual funds
– Stocks
– RD
– Chit fund
– Gold and silver
– LIC
– Sukanya Samriddhi

Too many small buckets reduce clarity.

A simpler structure is better:

– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Debt instruments for short-term goals
– Small allocation to gold

Simplicity improves tracking and discipline.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds for long-term goals:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Planning withdrawals properly helps reduce tax burden.

» Finally

You are already doing many things right.

Small improvements can make your financial life even stronger.

Focus on these actions:

– Continue mutual fund SIPs for long-term goals
– Use RD and chit amount for house down payment
– Reduce excess allocation to gold and silver
– Review LIC policy usefulness
– Add personal health insurance cover
– Increase SIP every year with salary growth

With this disciplined structure, you can comfortably achieve your child's education goal and build financial stability for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6832 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi
Career
The NEET is 2 months away. I have completed my syllabus but was sick for 1.5 months now. I am getting 348 marks. I feel like I have forgotten everything. How can I score 650+?
Ans: You still have about 8 weeks, which is enough time to make a big jump if you focus on revision + question practice. First, don’t panic about “forgetting everything”; after illness, it’s normal for recall to feel weak, but concepts usually come back quickly with practice. Start by revising Biology daily (2–3 chapters/day) because it gives the fastest score increase. For Physics and Chemistry, revise formulas, key reactions, and then solve topic-wise MCQs the same day to rebuild recall. Take a Full Mock Test every 3–4 days, analyze mistakes carefully, and make a small “error notebook” so you don’t repeat them. Try to solve 120–150 questions daily and spend more time on Biology accuracy, since it’s the easiest way to push your score up quickly. Also, maintain sleep, light exercise, and proper meals so your energy fully returns after being sick. If you stay consistent with revision, mocks, and error analysis for the next two months, jumping from 350 to 600+ is realistic, and 650+ becomes possible with high accuracy.

Practical Advice: You can improve your score from 350 to 650 with thorough study and practice. Saying recall is very easy, but it will only be effective if it was well understood in the past. It is better to choose chapters from PCB where you feel more confident and focus on questions from these chapters in the NEET Exam.
For 650+: You Score like- BIO > 300, PHY > 150, CHE > 200.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
How and where to check the change in benchmark index of a mutual fund from the date of investment.
Ans: It is good that you want to track the benchmark change of your mutual fund. Monitoring this helps you understand whether the fund performance comparison is fair and transparent.

» Why Benchmark Change Matters

– Every mutual fund is compared with a benchmark index
– The benchmark helps you judge if the fund manager is doing better than the market
– If the benchmark changes, past performance comparison may look different

So it is important to know when the benchmark was changed.

» Where to Check Benchmark Changes

You can verify benchmark changes through the following places:

– Mutual fund scheme factsheet

Fund houses publish monthly factsheets

It mentions the current benchmark and sometimes the previous benchmark

– Scheme Information Document (SID)

The SID explains the benchmark used by the fund

When the benchmark changes, the document gets updated

– Addendum or notice issued by the fund house

When a benchmark is changed, the fund house releases an official notice

This is usually available on the AMC website under “Notices” or “Updates”

– Your account statement or email communication

Fund houses normally inform investors through email when such changes happen

» Platforms That Show Benchmark History

You may also check on investment tracking platforms such as:

– Mutual fund research portals
– Registrar websites where your folio is maintained
– Portfolio tracking platforms

These sometimes mention historical benchmark details.

» Practical Tip for Investors

While tracking benchmark change, also observe:

– Whether the new benchmark is more appropriate for the fund category
– Whether the fund is consistently beating the benchmark
– Whether the fund strategy has changed along with the benchmark

If benchmark keeps changing frequently, it deserves closer review.

» Finally

The best place to confirm benchmark change from the exact date is the official communication from the fund house such as SID updates, addendum notices, and monthly factsheets. Keeping these records helps you track whether your fund is truly creating value over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2555 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |593 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
I am doing SIP for following mutual funds, should I adjust my SIP amount between these funds or start investing into new funds also (Small cap or Metal ETFs or others) to get better future returns with some stability. SIP % amount mentioned with each fund, total SIP amount is Rs. 29000 per month. I wish to increase it to Rs. 40000 per month. I have take little risk and looking for 7-10 year horizon. started investing since last 1 year. I am into late 40s. I efficiently use PPF/NPS/SSY for family members. Is it worth to start Vatsalya NPS as well? SBI Equity Hybrid Fund (14%), ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund (14%), Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (17%), HDFC Mid Cap Fund (28%), ICICI Prudential Large Cap Fund (28%)
Ans: Hi SP,

Let us go through the details one at a time.

- You are investing in PPF, NPS n SSY for family. This is good with risk free returns. Continue doing the same.
- No requirement for NPS Vatsalaya for long term.
- You are doing good and your portfolio looks quite balanced considering the amount and % mentioned. You have a good blend of equity and hybrid funds for stability.
- However can consider adding small cap as well for the long term horizon of 10 years. Start a new SIP of 4000 in Axis Small Cap.
- Increase contribution to flexicap fund and SBI Equity Hybrid fund.
- Avoid investing in sectoral funds like metal sectors as these are cyclic performers and not required for your time period.

Overall it looks good but yet you may consider consulting a professional for long term goals and aligning your investments with your goals.
Hence can consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

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