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Deeply Connected but Different Life Paths: Should I Marry My Boyfriend?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Sourima Question by Sourima on Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 2018. We’ve always been deeply connected, staying in constant touch through calls and quick replies. Now, he is 31 years old and wants to marry me, but I am not ready yet. I recently got a job with a 7.5 LPA income and need to focus on building my career. My family disapproves of him because he has been preparing for government exams for the last six years and only earns ?15k/month. He also has a very closed mindset and is extremely insecure, constantly worrying that I will leave him one day. One of my biggest concerns is that he’s unwilling to adjust to my work location. After marriage, he plans to stay behind and continue private tuition instead of being with me. These differences have led to frequent conflicts, and it’s becoming emotionally exhausting for me to manage. While I care deeply for him, I feel stuck between my career ambitions, my family’s disapproval, and his expectations. I’m struggling to make him understand my situation, and I don’t know how to move forward.

Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Me(20 year) and my boyfriend(23 year) were in serious relationship about 2 years now. I am a student persuing my bachelor's in computer science in other hand my bf is working in his father's company which is a average company with less amount of profit . He completed diploma in mechanic and now earning 35K per month. Before starting of relationship i told him about that I have an idea about settling in abroad country and that's my dream. At that time he said ok we can both work together to achieve that. Years passed in Feb 2023 his mom decided to buy a villa worth of 60L ( which is not at all necessary now ). Here comes the problem they were planned to buy 60L villa by housing EMI( *EMI is paid for 20 years*) . He and his mom who's gonna be paying the EMI ( *his father is not willing to pay the debt*). And also he is spending 7k for petrol for his bike. Till now he has no savings. I don't want to start my life with debt. And also even if I got abroad job offer, he is not willing to move with me in abroad. Now he's saying that I should wait 10 years for him to develope the company. But i don't have that much time. I don't know what to do 😔😔?
Ans: Dear Aarya,
Time moves and so do people move along with the situations that they face.
Yes, you had both decided life in a particular way; but now it has suddenly shifted to something else. Why they want the Villa with so much of debt mounting, is their decision!
But you can certainly decide if you want to start your life with that debt, repay it along with them, give up on your dreams of living abroad? You can decide it NOW. Your decision will determine your life's path. So choose and decide very wisely.
You have a job offer on hand; so is it going to be life with your boyfriend in debt or starting life afresh on your own terms. Weigh the pros and cons of both and choose wisely.

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |633 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 29 year old F dating a 27 year old M. I have always been very conservative and emotional with respect to love. Before him, i never dated anyone, nor allowed anyone to touch me because I wanted only one man in my life. We both have failed to crack a gov job. He has lost all hopes in life and somehow wants to fix his career. On the other hand, My family is pressurising me to get married and even I think that I have reached that stage where I should get married in a year or two. Meanwhile his parents too wants him to get married by next year. However, he refuses to give me any commitment unless he has a stable career i.e government job. And if he failed to do so, then he will marry any girl whom his parents choses because without a gov job, he won't be able to take a stand for me. I his mind he thinks that my family is of high standards than his. (which is partially true) I want some form of commitment from him, but all he says that he wants to marry me, and wants me to stay with him as friend untill he is ready. He has also not given me the tag of a gf, he says that because of that tag I will be emotionally attached to him and if things didnt worked out than I will be devastated. He had also not made any sexual advances towards me. He asked for 6 months to fix everything. However, this undefined relationship without a commitment is emotionally exhausting me. Because of my family pressure, I am in delema whether I should look for someone else or believe someone who has not yet defined anything? I dont want to look for anyone else becase than it is against my personal ideology of being with only one man. Yet, I am scared. What if I ended up being with no one. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your dilemma. Your partner has asked for six months. That might seem and feel very long, given the situation, but it will pass in a heartbeat. You can, only if you want, give him that time and see where things go. Having said that, let me also mention that if you decide to quit this relationship, if it is too exhausting and it's putting you through more emotional turmoil than giving you happiness, you would not be wrong. You have every right to choose peace. After all, why do we love someone? Because they, the relationship with them, makes us happy. There will indeed be ups and downs in a relationship, but if there are only downs, and only more downs to come in the future, it wouldn't be wrong to reconsider that relationship.

Evaluate your needs. Take a little time for yourself to reflect- weigh the pros against the cons. You will have your answer.

Your ideology is commendable. But make sure it doesn't affect your emotional well-being. While your beliefs are admirable, there is also nothing wrong with finding love more than once. Not every love story is bound to succeed, and a single failure should not define your entire life.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10257 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 14, 2025

Career
My grand son has finished MBA in AI Can you suggest which is best startup can he try
Ans: Sham Sir, An MBA in Artificial Intelligence equips graduates with unique skills to bridge business strategy and AI technology, positioning them well for entrepreneurial ventures in the booming AI startup ecosystem. Prominent AI startups today focus on diverse sectors such as AI-driven SaaS solutions, healthcare AI, fintech innovations, natural language processing, and predictive analytics, all reflecting high growth potential. Successful startup pathways for MBA AI graduates emphasize starting with a clear identification of business challenges that AI can solve, followed by piloting small-scale AI solutions to validate viability while managing risks. Strategic prioritization of AI investments aligned with core business capabilities is critical, leveraging existing AI tools and platforms before developing bespoke models. Founders benefit from building or partnering with skilled AI teams, including data scientists and machine learning engineers, or using freelance expert talent to drive innovation cost-effectively. Essential startup strategies include carefully assessing market needs, applying data-driven decision-making, focusing on automation of repetitive tasks initially, and scaling AI-powered customer experience enhancements. Ethical AI practices and continuous iteration based on feedback ensure trust and long-term sustainability. Leading AI startup sectors for entrepreneurs with an MBA in AI also include AI for personalized marketing, intelligent automation, AI-powered financial services, healthcare AI solutions, and AI-enabled legal tech. Emerging startups such as OpenAI, Anthropic, and industry leaders like Microsoft and Google highlight how combining business acumen with AI expertise accelerates innovation and market impact. Entrepreneurs are encouraged to emphasize a capability-based roadmap for AI adoption, tracking progress and adjusting to evolving technology and market dynamics. Importantly, MBA AI graduates should integrate skills in critical thinking, data literacy, and strategic leadership to leverage AI for competitive advantage and scalability in startups.

The recommendation is that your grandson focus on startups offering AI-powered solutions in sectors like healthcare, fintech, or SaaS, starting small with pilot projects to validate ideas, building strong AI and business teams, and adopting an ethical, data-driven approach. This strategic blend will maximize success chances as an MBA graduate in Artificial Intelligence launching a startup. All the BEST for Your Grandson's Prosperous Future, Sir!

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6333 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
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Hello I am a 28 year old female. Completed all university degree. I have been preparing for competitive exam since 5 years. Now I am feeding up by falling each and every competitive exam and I am also feeling that I. become a severe burden on my retired father.I know my preparation is good. I am a science graduate. Can u please advice me how can I improve myself? Please give some advice about other professionals course and career that will give me financial and mental stability?
Ans: Hello dear.
I can feel the weight you’ve been carrying, and it’s completely natural to feel exhausted after years of trying without the results you hoped for. Please remember your worth is not defined by exam results, and the fact that you’ve kept going shows resilience many people never develop. Since you’re a science graduate, you could explore professional, job-oriented courses that can quickly lead to financial stability, such as data analytics, medical coding, clinical research, digital marketing, teaching certifications, or even allied healthcare programs like lab technology. These have relatively short training periods and good demand. Alongside, consider skill-building in high-demand tech areas (like programming, AI tools, or cloud computing) or pursuing a PG diploma in a specialized field. Start with small wins, even a modest job now can ease your father’s burden, boost your confidence, and give you breathing space to plan further. You are not stuck; you’re just at a turning point, and the skills you’ve built so far can still open new doors. Finally, I would like to say - Try to consult with a local counselor for better face-to-face communication for a better solution, suggestion, and advice.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply..
Radheshyam

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 14, 2025

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Hello Sir/Mam ,My jee barch obc rank is 2434 and i filled my choices in csab as NIT Trichy, Nit Calicut ,SPA vijayawada and NIT Nagpur. I didn't get a seat in CSAB Round I will get a seat in subsequent rounds and my home state is Tamil Nadu
Ans: Pavithra, With an OBC rank of 2434 in JEE B.Arch and choices filled including NIT Trichy, NIT Calicut, SPA Vijayawada, and NIT Nagpur, your chances in subsequent CSAB counselling rounds remain hopeful. CSAB conducts special rounds after JoSAA counseling to fill vacant seats, where candidates with ranks better or near closing ranks from earlier rounds have a fair chance of admission. Recent CSAB data shows OBC closing ranks for top NITs in special and subsequent rounds usually range higher than 3000 to 5000 depending on branch and institute, making your rank competitive, especially if you prioritize home state quota or lower-demand branches. Participation in CSAB special rounds requires fresh registration and careful choice filling, with opportunities to float or slide preferences for seat upgrading. Reporting and fee payment deadlines must be strictly followed to retain eligibility for further rounds. As your home state is Tamil Nadu, you have an added advantage in home state quotas typically offered at NIT Nagpur and similar institutes under CSAB. Overall, remaining actively engaged in the upcoming CSAB rounds, updating choices strategically based on seat matrix and rank trends, enhances your seat allotment probability significantly.

The recommendation is to persist with CSAB further rounds and special counselling, focusing on institutes where your OBC rank closely aligns with or better than previous closing ranks. Utilize home state preferences wisely, opt for float or slide options to maximize chances, and adhere strictly to registration and reporting protocols for seat allotment success. However, it is advisable to keep 2–3 additional private engineering college options ready, based on your JEE score, rather than relying solely on CSAB or its special rounds. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10257 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 14, 2025

Career
Sir what should be preferred Aissms college of engineering pune (AIML) or Dy Patil institute of technology pimpri pune(AI&DS)?
Ans: AISSMS College of Engineering Pune (AIML) and Dr. DY Patil Institute of Technology Pimpri Pune (AI & DS) both offer emerging, in-demand programs with distinct advantages. AISSMS COE, established in 1992 and affiliated with Savitribai Phule Pune University, launched its AIML department in 2024, emphasizing strong foundational computer science integrated with advanced AI and ML topics. It boasts experienced faculty, state-of-the-art infrastructure, and a modern lab environment with industry collaboration. With over 90% placement rates, companies like Hexaware, Honeywell, HP, and IBM regularly recruit here. The infrastructure supports hands-on learning, and the college has a vibrant academic ecosystem with research programs and symposia. DY Patil Institute of Technology, founded in 1998 and also affiliated with SPPU, has a well-established AI & Data Science department since 2020, rapidly expanding its student intake. It holds an ‘A++’ NAAC accreditation with a high CGPA and NBA-accredited UG programs, underlining quality academic standards. DY Patil’s curriculum is industry-aligned with advanced computing facilities and partnerships for AWS-sponsored labs, value-added courses, and technical clubs. Placement figures show a strong industry presence with major recruiters like Google, Siemens, TCS, and Cognizant. DY Patil ranks within top NIRF engineering institutions, emphasizing holistic student development with cultural and professional clubs. Both have excellent credentials, but AISSMS has a longer legacy in engineering education with a more mature AIML setup, whereas DY Patil offers broader AI & DS specialization and strong accreditation. Considering faculty experience, infrastructure, placement breadth, academic reputation, and industry ties, the AIML program at AISSMS College of Engineering stands out for students prioritizing a blend of traditional engineering excellence infused with cutting-edge AI/ML education and high placement rates.

The recommendation is to prefer AISSMS College of Engineering Pune for AIML due to its established legacy, robust faculty, comprehensive infrastructure, strong placement record exceeding 90%, and integrated academic-industry ecosystem, which collectively provide a balanced, forward-looking education vital for thriving in AI and machine learning careers. DY Patil is an excellent alternative with strengths in AI & DS but still evolving its newer streams comparatively. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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